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❤️alice_and_adam❤️, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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Contact a lawyer about going after your ex for slander/libel. Just the threat of a lawsuit should be enough as no one wants to deal with the legal system.
Have a clause that if she removes what she said and apologizes that would be considered enough.
Damages are affecting your regular life already.
It’s a great idea to have a rental lease with clear rent and rules listed. This protects you both.
This would be an absolute deal breaker for me. The lap dances suck, but the lying is so much worse. I would never trust another word he said again.
You do what feels right. Take care of you. If you choose to try to move forward with him, make him earn your forgiveness.
He should have left your phone alone but he probably sensed you were lying and wanted to know the extent of it. You're not honest, he's not secure and you're both so young and opening up the relationship. Separate now so you can both get what you need from relationships instead of giving each other some form of trauma or trust issues that will affect future partners.
How can I get her to see that I'm deadass serious about these boundaries?
You've already had more than one serious conversation with her about it and she hasn't changed. The only way to get her to understand is to break up with her. She had her chance to respect your boundaries and has repeatedly chosen not to do that. Your needs and boundaries are valid and you have the right to fight for them. She made her choice, and this is a hill you should die on. You deserve a partner who loves and respects you— this isn't it.
I had a somewhat similar issue with my husband. He used to threaten to leave when we had a fight, even over silly things. After the first few times, I finally told him that if he ever threatened to leave me again, then I'd be the one leaving and I wouldn't be coming back. I told him I'm not going to live my life afraid that he'll leave me at any moment and if he can't respect that then we're done. He has not threatened it since, and that was over 4 years ago.
Likewise, my family is verbally abusive and aggressive in how we talk to each other (lots of teasing and shit talking, very negative). I grew up with it so I'm used to it and have always been like that. My husband did not grow up like that and is very sensitive, and was finally fed up with how I talked to him. He said he wouldn't put up with that either. His comments made me realize how not nice I can sound. So I've done the work to change how I speak not only to him, but to people in general, because I love and respect him.
Neither of us are perfect but we're both committed and have mutual love and respect for each other. When we say “hey, this thing bothers me” we work on correcting that and figuring out how to prevent it in the future. Your girlfriend does no such thing, nor does she care to. Have some self respect and learn when it's time to move on.
Well said. I was thinking something similar with regards to abortion. Also with regards to nationalized healthcare higher education. If my partner didn't understand the importance of these in creating a functional society that has some type of equity, I couldn't be with them long term.
No one else is claiming to date cops. No one else is asking for advice. Do better.
This is not about being Brazilian. He is just a sexist idiot.
You have every right to feel some type of way ?