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Then tell her that, your not gonna wait to see if she fucks him. She either fully commits back to you to fix your marriage and become offical before he gets there or its time to start the offical divorce. Dont wait and take her back after she fucks him
I’ve been to male strippers with friends in the past. He’s straight so obviously didn’t want to come. I’m with a man so seeing female strippers is more exciting to me since I like both. The whole exploiting women is interesting to me, it’s their job and they get paid for it? No ones forcing girls to dance.
The cover up thing is exactly what I’ve started to think and it terrifies me. She stays single. Messes around with guys or hooks up with randoms but never ever anything serious
you've posted this question so many times in the last hour…. what answer do you want?
You moved on too fast? He was sleeping with someone else while married. I would say HE'S the one who moved on too fucking fast. He knows that he's the one who fucked up but he's got to have something, anything to deflect back so the focus isn't where it should be which is ion him and his betrayal.
Holy crap! Run away.
She’s a succubus I am afraid
Then break up. Dunno what you want from this. If you talk and he doesn't understand then that's on him. Explain it again and he doesn't understand then maybe you're just not compatible.
Don't tell him about these things anymore. Nobody has say over what you do with yourself.
Beginning stages of control and abuse. I'd leave this relationship personally before it gets worse.
she wants to play the field, so let her. i'd not sit on the bench watching it if i was you though.
you need to communicate your limits.
Don’t know about needy, but probably pointless. He’d obviously already decided he’d rather pursue others
Agreed. OP – this is not a topic to joke or lie about. It is offensive to all true victims. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Well, maybe everyone should just mind their own business, and things would work out. Even if you came to understand Kaitlyn, you still wouldn’t be able to do anything, other than stir up even more unnecessary high school drama in the group
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Block them and leave them. Play games for your enjoyment not everything needs to be competitive.
6 years?!? Holy crap.
For a 36 year he seems to lacks the maturity needed to handle having a kid much less a relationship.
He seems like one of those people who misguidedly always tries to avoid conflict or deflect blame without the understanding he shouldn’t do that in his marriage but rather try and learn the root of the issue and work together to fix the situation.
He also just wanted a hot/young fuck toy to keep around but apparently you got preggers and then fat post preggers. He’s a idiot and 100% reaps what he sows. Divorce his ass.
Your comment literally sums up the situation perfectly LOL.
You should be honest from the get go. Like I said, transparency is very important. You should initiate the conversation by first confirming if they like you back and then discuss their views on sex and if they would be okay with not having it until after.
I'm using a talk to text app so pardon my grammatical errors but there's not much you can really do you can be there and be supportive but at the end of the day they make the choices they're going to make I myself was in the same type of situation except my partner and myself for both guilty and the only thing that started the journey that allowed change to happen was in the second time that she was arrested for domestic violence. And that wouldn't have happened the guy she was cheating with and making whatever plans would have been the other ending to the situation it's never good it's usually messy and there's nothing you can do to help them all you can do is be their friend be supportive and you can't really push what they need to do on to them that's something they have to figure out
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You are living to work. It's already taking a toll and it won't get better. Lessen the load any way possible. Money comes and goes, and that debt can be paid off later. The stress her job is causing her and effect its having on your relationship won't be repairable forever. I know people who would gladly go back and half their work lives if they could. It likely would have saved them from massive hospital bills from stress related illnesses and the medicines that go with those.
The rule of thumb is 6-8 weeks after for accurate std tests.
Yeah you did the right thing. In the future don't waste your time on fixer uppers.
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It's because is a business.
You’ve decided you have the answer. You clearly don’t need advice. Hope it works out for you.
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Both are yellow
OCD is a crippling disorder, not an interchangeable term for “cleans a lot.”
What about this is indirect…?
Yeah this whole thread is bizarre. They don't even live in the same area, they only met in person once, and never even did anything when that happened which makes me think that the whole “exclusive relationship” was entirely in OP's head. I guess once a man decides that he wants to date someone, whether they have even discussed that possibility with the person they want to date, that person belongs to them now, jesus christ.
The rent amount isn’t the problem I see here. $400 is minimal and at the rate you both make, that doesn’t need to be proportional to income, in my opinion.
It’s you contributing to the renovations and housework being uneven.
Regarding housework. Have a blunt conversation. His renovation work really only benefits him at this point and you shouldn’t have to pick up the slack in housework as he’s doing it.
Regarding renovations, he either needs to add you to the deed or you guys need something legally stating (lawyer reviewed) he will pay back percentage of the equity you’re creating with him, if the relationship ends.
Regarding rent, all I’d say if you need something in return is that you want a lease.
If this isn't a Letterkenny episode it should be.
She drove me home today and I literally said this exactly that I’d rather take the bus because sometimes I go shopping after, and she was like “well lucky for you I’m willing to take you grocery shopping and then you don’t have to walk!” This girl won’t take any excuses I swear ? it seems like a nice gesture but it feels super over bearing to me and I hate feeling trapped
Yes he is. Idk how well he understands it but i don’t like to use it as an excuse I knew better but i panicked and couldnt take it back.
Dump her before she comes back in two months and tells you she's pregnant.
We are both gamers
He has very clearly shown you who he is on 3 separate occasions. Do you really think you will be living in a foreign country cut off from friends and family and his behavior will not get worse? Give the man what he asked for and get an annulment. Do not uproot your life for someone who brushes away his words and actions with 'I didn't mean it' and blames you for it. Life is too short to let hindsight prove true when so many red flags are waving.
I seriously don’t know one female that doesn’t like grand gestures when she likes you.
There is nothing wrong with doing both.
making someone feeling that loving caring feeling depends on the person. Here are a couple that make me feel like I won the husband lottery
Be more playful, seriously when is the last time you spent time with whomever you love doing silly things they like,
Have what if conversation about silly things.
Throw some music on and dance in the kitchen.
Hugs and kisses when walking in the door from work, two arms and get a hotel room kiss.
Words use them, most people love praise, thank you, damn you look sexy,
All work and serious stuff is boring to me, we all have to do it to eat and live inside. So work and chores are just that something we would do if the person we care about wasn’t there. Start thinking what can I do for them or with them or to them that would just make them melt or smile.
Correct, it's fine not to be tied down and date, but have some fucking guts to break off the current relationship before moving on and hurting someone you supposedly love. Cheating is never ok.
If you're not happy with yourself then you should lose weight. If you want to keep sleeping with him then fine, but I want you to remember how he has treated you.
When you are healthier and your confidence is up you should drop him. Maybe just drop him now, he sounds sleazy as fuck!
It’s important that you don’t pretend you don’t know this.
You know she isn’t all that into you. You KNOW it now.
You honestly can’t have a happy ending with this woman.
Yea an honest conversation wouldn’t hurt, tell him exactly how you feel about the situation.
I not long ago got a text from dad so it seems things have settled a bit.
Yes she would kill me if I tried to control her hair.
I’m really happy that your mother has you. You’re a great daughter. It’s going to be naked. She’ll need therapy to help her get her self esteem back and move forward.
If she's smart, she won't give you another chance after you went through her phone while she was sleeping, you fucking maniac. Who does that?! Especially after you've been together for all of a MONTH. Why are you in such a rush to light your life on fire
It’s not the force of the slaps that makes this abusive, it’s him clearly knowing how much it upsets and hurts you and keeps doing it, if he knows it upsets you and does it anyway- functionally he is doing it to deliberately hurt you.
Police won't do anything this soon. Give him some time. This sounds like it's been bubbling for quite a while in him. Once he's back, give him a long hug, sit down together, and talk about what both of you can do to restart your sex life together — and *stick* to what you agree.
It doesn't matter. The human population is a wide and varied bunch. This is going to sound awful, but I guarantee you that even if he had a gut and burped every 30 seconds, there is already someone better looking, smarter, and more successful than you that would snap up that fat, burping asshole in a second.
This is a heavy reality to acknowledge, but there is always, always, always going to be someone out there better than you at anything.
This is absolutely a you problem. You need to figure this out before it becomes a self fulling prophecy. If you keep going down this road, he'll be telling his divorce lawyer that he just can't stand your negative attitude and insecurities, and he won't mention once that it's because he's “better” than you, because it's simply not true.
And maybe, just maybe, marriage at age 20 wasn't the best idea.
Yes, I can see it’s her decision to make. Which is why I’m looking for advice.
Thinking maybe I can be more proactive to close our cultural gap. Or something that I can work on to hold on to our relationship. I’m just sad that might not be enough
Thanks for the reply,
Updateme!
To me sex is penetration. Mouth on genitals I would’ve specified as oral sex. And I don’t consider hands touching genitalia sex, no.
Discuss your future as a married couple (or unmarried) BEFORE you buy a house tog.
Sit down & have a frank & open conversation about your goals, plans, etc
She’s made her decision. She chooses him over her baby.
Lots of men who think they wish they were in the mafia.
It's kind of disturbing to see how many people think this is an impressive and admirable way to behave.
My god, this girl thinks the world revolves around money. Yes, having money is nice, but when you make over 100k a year there is no running out of cash.
He's told everyone that you're fine with his affair and are so happy for him you're coming to the wedding. He needs you there to back up his story.
4 year relationship and he breaks up for that?
regardless of whether he's “right” or “wrong” that doesn't sounds very mature
do guys break often?
He didn't looked it up and didn't purposely showed it. I do think is an overreacting but then he topped you by breaking up for that.
Don't let him drive your car. Leave him he's abusive & dangerous. If he threatens to kill himself call to cops.
They were just dry conversations. She never asked me questions, I was the one trying to push conversations on text. That why texting for me is small talk and setting up dates. I prefer calling to getting to know each other. Which I did tell her. Again we’re just not a good match. She’s shy and timid. I like bubbly and assertive women.
OOP so shallow he couldn't drown a gnat.
NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE, RESPECT HIS BOUNDARIES.
You shouldn’t be mad at her as she thinks it’s normal…….but is there something else going on? You need to ask herb
I guess your relationship is over.
Yeah! That would be a good compromise because why would she oppose that? If she wants to keep you safe, she will only intervene when you know you’re not safe. You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. You are aware there are folks who fetishize you and you can decide if your partner treats you respectfully or not.
Sorry but if I’m out with friends I’m not gonna be on the phone constantly updating my boyfriend. You need to chill
Making it as short as possible: you are right. Sometimes either my partner or I forget a Kleenex in our pockets (which is annoying!!) and it’s the culprit who apologizes (if tracked down;) ) not the laundry-person.
You are being too naked on yourself, mental health issues happen, mental breakdowns happen, one of my friends had a mental breakdown and ended up in a hospital for a week, she got physical with a few people including her boyfriend but he didn’t break up with her, he visited.
That’s pretty trashy. Not to mention slightly cruel.
He doesn't get to pick your dealbreakers. If he thinks it's like porn, then that's HIS thought, YOU don't have to agree, or sway your feelings to accept it.
This isn't really an argument, it's him trying to get you to break you boundaries for him. We don't do that in 2023
She gave you the gift that keeps on giving.
Your sis has no shame and basically using manipulation tactics to get what she wants. So ridiculous. You have every right to have that ring, it is urs, ur grandma knew it was going to be urs. And hopefully you will give to the next generation of the next women, it is a Beautiful tradition that ur sis wants to take advantage of. With a mind like hers I wouldn’t be surprised if she gets the ring, she will prob lose it or does not hand it over to the next lady. What a shame, I hope you continue to stand ur ground. Good luck
Does he REALLY go to his sisters?
Yeah he needs to do some jealousy work.
Tell him, why not see the street sign and be thankful that he got the girl and the kids and the house? Why not research what the name means and think about that every time instead? Why not “reclaim” the word back from your ex?
If you have the home for many years, the street name will come to mean something else and he can forget the ex.
But also, therapy for whatever intrusive thoughts he’s having about your ex 8 years later. Get the house.
there’s nothing logical about bigotry
True I am not going to contact her and move on. I said this haha I have other girls I can sleep with.
I'm a woman in her 40s, married to a man in his 40s. No children. I am sitting in my dining room. Turning 360 degrees, I can see: – 9 wall mounted Force FX lightsabres – At least 15 Star Wars Lego sets (built and displayed) – Around 18 Star Trek action figues (in box and displayed) – Upwards of 20 DC busts – 3 framed Buffy sketches – 2 Morphers with 5 power coins – A prop replica phaser And this is just what I can see from where I'm sitting, and don't even get me started on other rooms and the Lego pile that's yet to be built.
Our house is a friggen high end toystore, and anyone who wants to call either of us immature can blow it out their ass. We've worked damn naked to get to a point where we can buy all the toys we want, and not have to share them with anyone.
Wake up and break up, please don’t embarrass yourself
Is this the same abusive bf in your previous post?
Probably gonna start dating the brother and ruin the friendship even further because “she can't help how she feels”
Look maybe it's a weird thing to ask of your friends and OP apparently doesn't see why it's such a big deal but she had her reasons for it! She asked her please don't flirt with my brother.
Now me!! I love my friends. Good friends are naked to find. If my one of my best friend asks me to not do something they are uncomfortable with.
What i hear is step back please there are literally other men here just not my brother not with my friend.
OP hears lemme go spread em ?
Nice job handling this. Breaking up can make you feel worthless enough to get back with the person who broke up with you so clearly you've gained some self confidence and growth out of the whole thing. That being said if the thoughts creep back in then say to yourself “is she the same person. If so then I can't give her what she needs as long as she's that. An extra chance at the same thing won't help unless I know she learned a lot from the experience… But I can't keep being her teacher if we're meant to be partners because I only learn from her example not innovation.”
I think keeping your phone powered off every now and then will give you little pieces of peace of mind. Not just her but a little bit of cut off time from everyone to hang out with yourself. Sometimes people smile at you and you didn't realize how bored and alone you were until that moment. She might've latched onto the attention and once she started seeing it from others you became less important. If she loved you she would've noticed that attention makes her feel good so giving her partner that makes them feel really good too. I prefer my partner demand all my time and understand I can only give them so much. We all want to be desirable… not a convenience.
What a numpty, he can love you as you are or he can get tae fuuuuuck!
Or does she? This is manipulation. She is doing what she wants to do. She is not taking your life into account. Is this anxiety? Or selfishness. Does she not like therapists because they would call her out? If she is creating a toxic relationship, she needs to end it and get help to figure out how to be a partner.
You are the backup plan. It's time to walk away.
….people are fucking exhausting
Does she have a reason to be tracking you?
My fiancé cheated, lied about it, and now wants to try and work through it in therapy. I don’t know what to do.
I think you both sound incompatible with each other and you should break up, not just because of the cheating but because of this…
I’m a jealous person, but that’s because A) I don’t trust men and B) I was cheated on by my ex of 3 years. Now it’s worth mentioning that both my ex and my current partner struggle with body dysmorphia, depression, and just general self-love.
It seems that I definitely have a type of person that I gravitate to, and the unfortunate side effect here is that at some point in the relationship my love and validation isn’t enough and the cracks start to show. It’s no secret that you can only work so naked to make somebody happy, but if they aren’t happy with themselves then it will never be enough.
I’ve never been one to complement gratuitously. I don’t know why, I think all of the sweet or romantic things in my head but I just don’t always vocalize them. This is something I have been actively working to change though and be better about.
I think, before you go into your next relationship, you should work on yourself to overcome your jealousy and lack of emotive Ness and also unpack why you seem to be drawn to 'avoidant' type personalities…
But there's no reason to stay in this relationship, she intentionally serviced another man. He clearly wants her, she has feelings for him, let them be together…
Struggling is him not knowing exactly what to do or how to do it but still trying.
That really sucks for her but that's life. Maybe she should've thought of that before she treated you like dog shit.
It would not make you the bad person it would make you human. She is an adult she is not your responsibility. She needs professional help, not anything you can give her.
Girl I’ll be honest I did not even read the whole thing. The way I would DUMP this man and his gross shit so fast!!!
Are we sure this dude isn't secretly already married? Not as in “secret second family” but as in “we just never officially got divorced and now I wouldn't even know where to start to try and find her to ask for one”.
You have a child. This man is violent. He can do the same thing to you again, can kill u and do the same to your kid!
Leave him!!!
Agreed. If anything it proves that he’s interested in adult women