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Date: October 21, 2022
I understand that view. I guess I was just annoyed because I asked him if he could hurry so we could be together. I wanted to introduce him to work friends and work on a scavenger hunt thing everyone was doing.
Okay, I hear what you’re saying. I won’t ask him to buy a heater. But I do wonder, is it reasonable to walk around indoors in your boxers in the wintertime?
That isn't taking it slow… if you've been dating for a year and he still doesn't want to commit to a relationship… he is just keeping you there until he finds something better.
On top of this, your partner should be in a team with you and always have your back. There should be no “I don't see her face or boobs.. etc.' He should have fucking raged at his friend for disrespecting his relationship for over a year, and the girl he is with.
But then at a year in, he's saying he's not actually in a relationship with you and is ashamed to put it on facebook. But even if you were his best friend in the world, someone calling you ugly and him just being like 'yeah but that doesn't really matter to me, because she's a nice person ” Still would be incredibly shit. Nevermind the girl he's been stringing along for a year. This is him being a 'nice guy', those ones who aren't really nice but think they are.
This guy does not have the values or morals you think he does, or that anybody really wants from their partner in life. Like just ask yourself… am I happy with a guy that doesn't find me that attractive, doesn't defend me after a year against people straight out insulting me, and that doesn't just value me way more than that? The answer should be no.
Someone will love you so much one day, that you are nothing but completely beautiful to them. Do not waste time where you're getting upset and down for months or a year, going over this in your head and dragging you down… when you could just be single, work on yourself and maybe find that genuine person in the meantime.
I'm sorry you read his messages and have been treated like that. You don't deserve it from someone you are giving your all to and your good heart to. That girl whoever she is, has an ugly ass personality for what it's worth which makes her far less attractive than anyone else in the world who does not, including you.
It's hot.
She shouldn't be putting herself in those situations, I'd say a very very large majority of women have been raped/sexually assaulted in their lifetime at least once (myself included) and most of us certainly weren't putting ourselves in situations like that – but anything involving alcohol, young guys, and that kinda environment that is likely.
I think if she wants to continue going to these parties she needs to invite you as a +1 – if she denies this on some guise that it's her “time with friends” then I'd question the credibility of this being “rape” tbh. Yes you shouldn't question a victim but she should have no issue with you being there to protect her if she genuinely needs it, and she still gets to enjoy her parties etc.
Good luck ❤️
I would be tempted to be passive aggressive and tell her that's odd, because the women you've been with so far haven't complained. Come to think of it, she did feel pretty loose compared to other women. Maybe it's her vagina that's inadequate. But then I wouldn't because I'm not shitty like that. Its better to just tell her it's not you it's me, good luck and buh bye!
Is he a Korean man?
Culture is different there in regards to women. Be very aware.
Honestly, gotta respect how he was upfront with you about it. Unless y’all just aren’t using condoms or birth control then it’s his responsibility too,
Both need to put the effort in or else it’s pointless. Couples counselling will hopefully be good for you both. Strip it back to basics too, date nights, nice long walks and doing fun stuff that can all get forgotten when we have kids.
So why are you with him? He likes to manipulate you, you like to make him feel stupid. Y’all are in now way suitable to be married to each other. This is a toxic mess.
The fact that you want to “punish” your partner is unhealthy. Sure, of course they can make their own food- that isn’t the issue. You trying to punish them because you’re angry instead of handling it like an adult is the problem.
Honestly when I was in a similar situation I also felt like saying no made me crazy and insecure because of the way it was being pushed. Once I got out I realized that not wanting that isn't insecure at all and I was being manipulated to feel that way. You may find the same by leaving
I think it’s pretty simple. Any woman who uses nicknames for her male married friend (unless it’s a childhood friend) is disrespectful. And your husband is allowing it. Tell him you’re uncomfortable, and he’s enabling the behavior. If this doesn’t work, tell him you guys need counseling because has boundary issues. He thinks he’s putting up boundaries by including you in their conversations, but that’s not a boundary.
Also, don’t become this woman’s friend. Be friendly, but distant. Honestly, I’d cancel any plans with a woman who flirts with my husband.
What are the differences between the way the realtionship is now and the way you want it to be?
Im alright its only been like 3 days, Ive just been playing games nonstop, everytime I get off and do anything that isnt gaming It sucks. I just find it crazy that she springs this on me and then doesnt message me for these 3 days. Im gonna just not message her first ever even though I really want to, also ive been getting so mad just at the whole situation but I would never show it to her cause then she would get what she wants out of me which is to hate her so she doesnt feel bad about breaking up with me. I dont understand why she just cant have the balls to tell me that she just doesnt want to be in a relationship right now and cant handle it because of her avoidance issues where she just detaches from all her relationships. instead she finds all these stupid excuses for it so fucking annoying.
Not a dick at all, I was the one who brought up the story.
And no, she didn't pay me back.
Her go to response was “are you just going to keep asking me to pay you out of principle? You can afford it.”
And my answer was always “YES!”
But I didn't get paid.
Yeah I get that, but he was also pretty clear about not wanting to go anywhere with it so I stopped it before getting myself hurt. I did really like him, and love to spend time with him. I only said that because I didn’t want it to seem like I was too invested. I assured him that I’m not looking for anyone else, and he knows I’m pretty true to my word.
It's pretty sad you feel like you need to check his phone
Did you even read the post? And this is what you're focusing on? Jesus christ
So here is a hypothetical for you. You are alone in a room with him, he confesses to having as big of a crush on you as you have on him. You are 100% certain that it will not negatively impact either kf your jobs, and neither of your partners will ever find out.
What do you do?
he sounds like a loser. break up with him
Only you know if you’re doomed. If you can’t get past his pretty shitty behavior, then yes. It’s such a cop out to say you weren’t technically exclusive. I would be far more concerned about that. It’s only a few months in. It’s not looking great.