I'm generally 100% against any violence in a relationship, but if you were shitfaced enough to fight her on taking your keys, and we're so hell-bent on getting behind the wheel, and you grabbed her… It's sounding like self defence.
I mean, you said it, not us. Your wife clearly doesn't see you as compatible anymore, that much is clear, but the fact you two leave each other for real long periods at a time is a clear sign you two are in different places in your lives. If she is letting another dude pork her behind your back (let alone 5 months) it's clear you two should just rip the bandaid off and go your own ways. Trauma bonding isn't always a good thing (I know from experience), it may just mean you are trying to deflect your own trauma by telling your partner “I can fix your problems but I can't fix my own”.
You have some decisions to make clearly your boyfriend is not going to stop talking to him. And he probably was at a party with a bunch of people. His friend is a gross person who is making comments so he can have your friend engage with him while theyโre doing whatever they want to do. He may act like itโs a bro thing, itโs disrespectful. But itโs clear your boyfriend is going to continue to talk to him.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. This is what happens when you take your wife for granted, someone else will appreciate her. This is 1000 percent on you. You pushed after she said no. Youโre not going to get much sympathy here. You sound like a selfish child throwing a tantrum because you didnโt get your way, when in fact you did get your way – it just wasnโt how you thought it would be.
Thereโs some things in life you canโt crawl back from. What you did will be unforgivable for most. Iโm surprised youโre not out on your ass for what you did.
My concern is that if he has a history of depression and suicidal behaviorโฆ this may have been a way to push you away so he could end it. Though this is highly speculative and even if he did it for that reason doesnโt mean you are obligated to stay.
Took this advice and now we are over. Feel lost but I had to
Pull the plug. You're with her for selfish reasons. You both deserve more.
I'm generally 100% against any violence in a relationship, but if you were shitfaced enough to fight her on taking your keys, and we're so hell-bent on getting behind the wheel, and you grabbed her… It's sounding like self defence.
I mean, you said it, not us. Your wife clearly doesn't see you as compatible anymore, that much is clear, but the fact you two leave each other for real long periods at a time is a clear sign you two are in different places in your lives. If she is letting another dude pork her behind your back (let alone 5 months) it's clear you two should just rip the bandaid off and go your own ways. Trauma bonding isn't always a good thing (I know from experience), it may just mean you are trying to deflect your own trauma by telling your partner “I can fix your problems but I can't fix my own”.
You would be incredibly wrong.
But please, explain to me how a pregnancy is less life changing than a $350 purchase?
If itโs less life changing, than how is it hurting her if he waits a couple of days to tell her?
You have some decisions to make clearly your boyfriend is not going to stop talking to him. And he probably was at a party with a bunch of people. His friend is a gross person who is making comments so he can have your friend engage with him while theyโre doing whatever they want to do. He may act like itโs a bro thing, itโs disrespectful. But itโs clear your boyfriend is going to continue to talk to him.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes. This is what happens when you take your wife for granted, someone else will appreciate her. This is 1000 percent on you. You pushed after she said no. Youโre not going to get much sympathy here. You sound like a selfish child throwing a tantrum because you didnโt get your way, when in fact you did get your way – it just wasnโt how you thought it would be.
Thereโs some things in life you canโt crawl back from. What you did will be unforgivable for most. Iโm surprised youโre not out on your ass for what you did.
My concern is that if he has a history of depression and suicidal behaviorโฆ this may have been a way to push you away so he could end it. Though this is highly speculative and even if he did it for that reason doesnโt mean you are obligated to stay.