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Date: October 29, 2022
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This is HORRIBLY abusive and NOT normal. This seems serious, she needs professional help if it’s gotten this far. It’s affecting your life, relationship, and turning physical. It might be good to exit that relationship altogether or at least create some distance. This is so unhealthy.
You were laying on the couch and jumped up because you thought she was texting. You're watching her like a hawk. You don't even seem to like her. You only have control over your own life.
You shouldn’t be dating. You’re not divorced. You don’t have your stuff figured out.
Spend a year working on yourself and finalizing the divorce. Try a new hobby, make some new friends, whatever.
But you’re not done with your past relationship yet.
As for disclosing marital status? That should be right up front. Should be on your profile. You’re separated. You’re not divorced. And I’d hope that any self respecting and emotionally healthy woman would steer clear because you’re not going to be fully available for a relationship at this time.
You don't dating is for the purpose of choosing a mate. This one is a NO. So let her go.
You did exactly the right thing. Good job!
This level of anger at a mindless habit is worrying, have you tried talking to a professional about it? I’d suggest staying broken up to deal with this.
You’re overthinking this situation. Temptation can happen, it’s what you do with it that counts. OP did take it farther than she should have, not excusing that, but she remained loyal. No one is perfect.
He was so cheerful! I tried asking for more details, and he just said “mmmm nope! Nope!” and rolled over and resumed loudly snoring.
Jesus Christ please break up with her immediately. You are right: you shouldn't date anyone.
I can't help you with your relationship issue. But on the being given property/a house thing, I have two friends who are beneficiaries of such an arrangement and, while I can only speak from the outside, it has only be a positive in their lives.
The only concern I would have, were I you, is the potential for your dad to put strings on the gift. For both of my friends they received the gifts without condition and have so much more saving/spending power that as one with a mortgage, and will probably be working until I die, I can't help constantly being jealous. If you think you that won't happen then I don't see how you could say no to such a gift that would help you get so far ahead financially.
action have consequences. at this stage he's still trying to keep you as a gf. it does seems controlling.
but in other scenario, you can change appearance, change your pronoun as they and he won't say anything and one day he will just “sorry i'm no longer attracted to you, im out.”
if you feel you're no longer aligned then better go separate ways. relationship needs lots of compromises and sacrifices.
Unfortunately op, all the regret in the world doesn't change this fact, I doubt you went into the relationship thinking you would cheat but you came out of it a cheater so simply saying “I won't do it again” is useless
Tell the guy, be upfront and honest
Move on and do what is best for you. This grown man will take care of himself. You will go through a grief process because it’s a loss. You did not enter this relationship with thoughts of it ending. You, however, have not had an opportunity to grow and develop into your adult self. He had you at a disadvantage from the very beginning which he did intentionally. It’s going to end sooner or later so don’t waste anymore of your life. If possible, spend a year not committing to another relationship. You deserve to spend some time getting to know you. Think about it as if you’ve been brainwashed into a cult and need time to undo the programming. I wish you the best.