I'm not going to say “asshole”, but it's definitely illogical to try to turn someone into the kind person you want, instead of just meeting the kind of person you want. Trying to change someone is bad news all around.
You are deceiving yourself. There are zero psychological studies that support your behavior. And plenty that contradict you.
Birds of a feather flock together. People hang out with people they are comfortable with (including their core values of lack thereof). So your friends certainly do say 'who' you are.
Thank you so much, I honestly might have to! It’s been in the back of my mind but I didn’t want to bc of the hassle. I definitely have no choice if this doesn’t stop.
It's funny you say that cos one of the first things I told him about myself was that I can't stand people who don't respect a no. So he never pushes for dinner or catch ups, he just tests my reaction and will keep suggesting it here and there, but what I was getting at was he'll keep trying and testing his luck.
Admittedly, my lack of putting the foot down has encouraged it. He's also got a bit of an ego, so if I told him as clearly as you've put it, he'd definitely respect that and back off once and for all. On that front, my personality doesn't help. I'm extremely friendly, smile a lot and don't like unnecessary confrontations, so I can see how that can be misconstrued by a guy to mean I'm into him, and I've clarified that too with most of my colleagues so they don't think I'm leading them on or something. I think all of this is mainly being fanned by me not being able to say a firm no and my wanting a friendship without the side effects, which I'm learning isn't really possible.
You should be healthy for yourself, not for him.
I'm not going to say “asshole”, but it's definitely illogical to try to turn someone into the kind person you want, instead of just meeting the kind of person you want. Trying to change someone is bad news all around.
You are deceiving yourself. There are zero psychological studies that support your behavior. And plenty that contradict you.
Birds of a feather flock together. People hang out with people they are comfortable with (including their core values of lack thereof). So your friends certainly do say 'who' you are.
Thank you so much, I honestly might have to! It’s been in the back of my mind but I didn’t want to bc of the hassle. I definitely have no choice if this doesn’t stop.
It's funny you say that cos one of the first things I told him about myself was that I can't stand people who don't respect a no. So he never pushes for dinner or catch ups, he just tests my reaction and will keep suggesting it here and there, but what I was getting at was he'll keep trying and testing his luck.
Admittedly, my lack of putting the foot down has encouraged it. He's also got a bit of an ego, so if I told him as clearly as you've put it, he'd definitely respect that and back off once and for all. On that front, my personality doesn't help. I'm extremely friendly, smile a lot and don't like unnecessary confrontations, so I can see how that can be misconstrued by a guy to mean I'm into him, and I've clarified that too with most of my colleagues so they don't think I'm leading them on or something. I think all of this is mainly being fanned by me not being able to say a firm no and my wanting a friendship without the side effects, which I'm learning isn't really possible.