I know plenty of people lose their dominant hand/arm and are fine. However, I also know that adjusting like that takes several months. She's only got to deal with this for a month or two.
But those first few months are the most frustrating part, and she has untreated ADHD. When she gets bored or frustrated, she gets impatient, and starts trying to take shortcuts or force things. That's why her microwave's out of commission: the latch didn't set right one day, and instead of stopping and looking at what she was doing, she tried to force it and it broke.
If she's cooking something on the stove and can't hold the vessel while stirring or flipping something, then she's liable to spill and make a mess or burn herself. If I'm not there to take over or calm her down, I'm worried she'll have a crying fit and do something in anger that will aggravate the fracture in her radius. She has a track record of being unwilling to accept her limitations, and making things much worse when she is inescapably forced to confront them head-on. When literally anyone else is around, she's better able to rein herself in, but when she's alone she tends to lean into it.
So. Thank you for saying it's nice of me to help. Please help me find other ways to be nice too, and answer the question as asked, instead of saying I shouldn't be asking it.
Honey, why have you spent 3 years “being patient” with this sexist nasty behaviour? Like….you know that’s not a good, generous thing you’re doing right? All you’re doing is massively fucking yourself over in service to a guy who clearly isn’t man enough to handle the idea that your whole life hasn’t revolved around him as his dick. It’s 2023, there are other dudes out there who won’t shame you just for being a normal human being.
He needs therapy to deal with the trauma. His anxieties are overwhelming his common sense (that you are not his ex, would not do those things, and have never given him reason to doubt you).
If after 10 years he hasn't been able to overcome it on his own (absolutely no shame on that – it's a terrible circumstance), he needs a professional to help him sort it out.
It's not okay that he has begun controlling you and acting irrational over casual conversations. You deserve trust, and to be able to have friends, or a night out.
If he refuses to deal with it, you're going to end up resenting the shit out of him, if you aren't already feeling that way.
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I know plenty of people lose their dominant hand/arm and are fine. However, I also know that adjusting like that takes several months. She's only got to deal with this for a month or two.
But those first few months are the most frustrating part, and she has untreated ADHD. When she gets bored or frustrated, she gets impatient, and starts trying to take shortcuts or force things. That's why her microwave's out of commission: the latch didn't set right one day, and instead of stopping and looking at what she was doing, she tried to force it and it broke.
If she's cooking something on the stove and can't hold the vessel while stirring or flipping something, then she's liable to spill and make a mess or burn herself. If I'm not there to take over or calm her down, I'm worried she'll have a crying fit and do something in anger that will aggravate the fracture in her radius. She has a track record of being unwilling to accept her limitations, and making things much worse when she is inescapably forced to confront them head-on. When literally anyone else is around, she's better able to rein herself in, but when she's alone she tends to lean into it.
So. Thank you for saying it's nice of me to help. Please help me find other ways to be nice too, and answer the question as asked, instead of saying I shouldn't be asking it.
Honey, why have you spent 3 years “being patient” with this sexist nasty behaviour? Like….you know that’s not a good, generous thing you’re doing right? All you’re doing is massively fucking yourself over in service to a guy who clearly isn’t man enough to handle the idea that your whole life hasn’t revolved around him as his dick. It’s 2023, there are other dudes out there who won’t shame you just for being a normal human being.
You will never ever trust either of them again. Once it’s lost, trust is almost impossible to get back.
I am sorry this happened to you. Your husband is a POS and your sister isn’t much better.
I would cut and run.
He needs therapy to deal with the trauma. His anxieties are overwhelming his common sense (that you are not his ex, would not do those things, and have never given him reason to doubt you).
If after 10 years he hasn't been able to overcome it on his own (absolutely no shame on that – it's a terrible circumstance), he needs a professional to help him sort it out.
It's not okay that he has begun controlling you and acting irrational over casual conversations. You deserve trust, and to be able to have friends, or a night out.
If he refuses to deal with it, you're going to end up resenting the shit out of him, if you aren't already feeling that way.