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I don't necessarily think it's a him or them situation…feels more like it's just a deal breaker for her. Which if that's the case I'm sorry you're going through this, I have no wisdom to give to you op. Perhaps ask her that if she wants you to do the divorce proceedings then she must first disclose as to why she wants the divorce in the first place. Perhaps once that's known you can go from there.
I don't necessarily think it's a him or them situation…feels more like it's just a deal breaker for her. Which if that's the case I'm sorry you're going through this, I have no wisdom to give to you op. Perhaps ask her that if she wants you to do the divorce proceedings then she must first disclose as to why she wants the divorce in the first place. Perhaps once that's known you can go from there.