Lmao if I gave someone my Twitter handle and the first thing they did was hit me with tweets I liked 5 years ago I would end it on the spot, that is outright unhinged behaviour. Who the fuck cares what anyone tweeted 5 years ago?
An addict is gonna do whatever it takes to get their fix. Until she is sober and in therapy I wouldn’t even considered giving her a chance. You need to run. It’s only a matter of time before she does it again or starts to steal from you to get a fix.
I did it in front of family and it was wonderful. But again, like others have said, you gotta know her. I knew my wife would wanna share in that with her family, and I prepped them beforehand that I'd be asking her.
I appreciate your comment. I’m the person that this happened to but I was too embarrassed to write under my point of view. I realized how much of a doormat I was. She made me feel crazy for being hurt, so I quoted what she said to me over text. You all have helped me realize that my emotions are valid and that blocking her was the best decision. What I listed was only a small part of things, but she had the audacity to ask me for money a couple days before she told me about her date.
Yeah for sure! I think it's good to not cut ties immediately, I know it's a common suggestion around reddit and I think you and others are trying to get OP to see this isn't a big problem but it could become one if it's not handled now.
My gf and I are planning to get married soon and we’re looking at houses in the meantime. I told her that if we do buy a house before we’re married, I would assume the down payment, the whole loan, title, and I won’t ask her to pitch in for the mortgage, maintenance, or repairs (but she would like to pitch in on groceries, bills, etc. on her own accord). Basically I would own the home but also own the entirety of the cost, including maintenance. Of course she would definitely have a say in the home we buy because I’m buying it for us.
Once we’re officially married, I would put her on the deed and we would then split the mortgage and all home expenses in a fair way.
I'll concede that you said bi-curious, but my point remains the same. You're projecting your shit onto a dude you don't know. You know it too. That's why you keep deflecting. You just don't have the integrity to admit that you over stepped and jumped to conclusions. I don't think I like you.
Lots of people are like this, not jealous if your partner did something with someone with the same sex. But would be bothered if it was someone with the opposite sex. I guess it’s because you can’t compete there.
I would not end a relationship over this. I have relatives who have different views than I do. One is big into conspiracy theories, He is a great person, we don't discuss his theories much, it doesn't affect me directly. I have different political beliefs than some other relatives, different values, we don't try to push the other to think alike. We have so many other things to do and talk about, family, work, school, entertainment and the rising interest rates, the cost of food. whether to plant a garden. There are so many things we have interests in, and are interested in each other's lives and plans for the future.
Stop looking for things that divide you, and look for how you can support each other in your personal lives. People get involved in things that we don't agree with. Perhaps they will change their thinking in time. In the meantime, unless your relationship with your parents is entirely negative, I wouldn't end it.
There is an expression “throwing the baby out with the bath water” Don't toss something valuable away because it has some dirt on it. Another one is “Don't cut off your nose to spite your face” Don't hurt yourself in order to hurt them.
GTFO with that kind of rhetoric (although I doubt you will, your post history is filled with it). Are you seriously trying to blame ALL women for OP’s bad decisions?
“I like him a lot but this is taking a toll on my mental health. I don’t want to constantly be worried. I don’t want to ride an emotional rollercoaster. I just want a stable relationship. I know I will find someone else if I let myself.”
I cut off your last sentence, but girl, print this and put it on your bathroom mirror. Internalize it. You’re putting up with behavior you know is bad and you know you don’t deserve—for what? Some mediocre dick from a guy who breaks up with you, on average, almost every other month? There’s no way he’s worth this much trouble when you’ve been together under a year.
Take his latest breakup as a blessing and move on.
First of all a proposal isn’t the same as a marriage. It’s an intent to marry, it can be broken off as easily as a relationship. It’s not a binding contract, so calm down.
You should propose, move in together, then if it doesn’t work, end it. See how easy that is? If it does work , Great! You didn’t burn any bridges with the in-laws!
You skipped your child’s 18th birthday dinner to sleep with his best friend and lied to him for the reason.
“Once we stepped in my house I told him how bad I felt to what I did to my son” Obviously not that bad as you spent the night with the guy and accepted a proposal the next day.
Absolutely disgusting story and I hope that if you do meet up he tears you a new one again and then tells you that you are dead to him and goes full NC forever.
This is bordering on grooming and you should feel ashamed of yourself. I just hope for your sake you come up with a better story for when your new child asks how you and daddy met.
Wasn't there a similar post recently about the same topic? Bf was going to propose and the gf constantly undermined any trip by inviting friends. It eventually resulted in the guy calling off the proposal and ending the relationship because he realized he'll always be second to the gf's friends.
I am very sorry this has happened to you and to Lucy. One thing to consider is that you are not married to her. You never made a vow to love her in sickness and in health. You are not obliged to stay with her if you don't want to.
I understand you feel some guilt about this. I guess my question is about her diagnosis. Is it one that requires her to take medication for the rest of her life in order to function normally? If that is so and she is medication resistant, it's highly likely that when she feels stabilized, she will stop the medications, That means at some point the psychosis will return. This could end up being a life cycle thing for her. You are not required to deal with this if this happens.
she just tells me shes doing her gneral associates, Ive had this exact conversation with her because in the past shes talked about doing medical billing and this would just be a certificate. to be clear, she is getting her own loans, but, if she doesnt pay for them the creditors would just come after me correct? even if we divorced after she got the loans…
I appreciate you input. Did you read n7? She enjoys the idea of making him jealous. I don’t know why she feels like this. It really bothers me because it makes me feel like she’s not over him.
I would love some tips on how to not let depression ruin a current relationship, if you have any! ? I am dedicated to working on myself and getting my mental health in check, and I have been doing MUCH better, but I still have “bad” days where I cry and am a bit depressing to be around. I've gotten to the point where I can save my crying and sadness for moments when I am alone, but that makes me feel… more depressed lol.
My gf said no I won't show and you won't follow this girl either. After this incident happened 4-5 times, I was really curious.
There comes a point that this kind of thing becomes a test, one that you failed unfortunately. For her to go “don't follow this person that you know” and then go “oooh look at that cleavage, look at that butt” several times is trying to needle you into wanting to look. It's basically a trust test which is very childish and not something a person in a healthy relationship should do.
I'm not saying you didn't mess up here but it sounds like she knew exactly what she was doing. If I was in your situation, I'd cop to my part of the screw up but would also be pissed at her for the set up in the first place.
The relationship can only be saved if she wants to save it. There's not much you can do about that I don't think. I'd also consider whether you want to go back to that relationship.
Just to cover all angles, maybe it wasn't a test. The fact it was that big a deal to her in the first place suggests that her and that person may have a bit of a history, or an issue of comparing herself negatively to the other woman.
Lmao if I gave someone my Twitter handle and the first thing they did was hit me with tweets I liked 5 years ago I would end it on the spot, that is outright unhinged behaviour. Who the fuck cares what anyone tweeted 5 years ago?
An addict is gonna do whatever it takes to get their fix. Until she is sober and in therapy I wouldn’t even considered giving her a chance. You need to run. It’s only a matter of time before she does it again or starts to steal from you to get a fix.
I did it in front of family and it was wonderful. But again, like others have said, you gotta know her. I knew my wife would wanna share in that with her family, and I prepped them beforehand that I'd be asking her.
How exactly are you going to ask her?
I appreciate your comment. I’m the person that this happened to but I was too embarrassed to write under my point of view. I realized how much of a doormat I was. She made me feel crazy for being hurt, so I quoted what she said to me over text. You all have helped me realize that my emotions are valid and that blocking her was the best decision. What I listed was only a small part of things, but she had the audacity to ask me for money a couple days before she told me about her date.
Yeah for sure! I think it's good to not cut ties immediately, I know it's a common suggestion around reddit and I think you and others are trying to get OP to see this isn't a big problem but it could become one if it's not handled now.
My gf and I are planning to get married soon and we’re looking at houses in the meantime. I told her that if we do buy a house before we’re married, I would assume the down payment, the whole loan, title, and I won’t ask her to pitch in for the mortgage, maintenance, or repairs (but she would like to pitch in on groceries, bills, etc. on her own accord). Basically I would own the home but also own the entirety of the cost, including maintenance. Of course she would definitely have a say in the home we buy because I’m buying it for us.
Once we’re officially married, I would put her on the deed and we would then split the mortgage and all home expenses in a fair way.
The first thing I do when I don't want to marry a chic is buy a house together.
He doesn’t want to get married. Your inconvenience was just the perfect reason he needed to end it without feeling too bad.
I'll concede that you said bi-curious, but my point remains the same. You're projecting your shit onto a dude you don't know. You know it too. That's why you keep deflecting. You just don't have the integrity to admit that you over stepped and jumped to conclusions. I don't think I like you.
But why?
Lots of people are like this, not jealous if your partner did something with someone with the same sex. But would be bothered if it was someone with the opposite sex. I guess it’s because you can’t compete there.
He likes stirring his empty pot of nothing.
I have, but he just says he wants me time. Doesn’t budge.
I would not end a relationship over this. I have relatives who have different views than I do. One is big into conspiracy theories, He is a great person, we don't discuss his theories much, it doesn't affect me directly. I have different political beliefs than some other relatives, different values, we don't try to push the other to think alike. We have so many other things to do and talk about, family, work, school, entertainment and the rising interest rates, the cost of food. whether to plant a garden. There are so many things we have interests in, and are interested in each other's lives and plans for the future.
Stop looking for things that divide you, and look for how you can support each other in your personal lives. People get involved in things that we don't agree with. Perhaps they will change their thinking in time. In the meantime, unless your relationship with your parents is entirely negative, I wouldn't end it.
There is an expression “throwing the baby out with the bath water” Don't toss something valuable away because it has some dirt on it. Another one is “Don't cut off your nose to spite your face” Don't hurt yourself in order to hurt them.
GTFO with that kind of rhetoric (although I doubt you will, your post history is filled with it). Are you seriously trying to blame ALL women for OP’s bad decisions?
“I like him a lot but this is taking a toll on my mental health. I don’t want to constantly be worried. I don’t want to ride an emotional rollercoaster. I just want a stable relationship. I know I will find someone else if I let myself.”
I cut off your last sentence, but girl, print this and put it on your bathroom mirror. Internalize it. You’re putting up with behavior you know is bad and you know you don’t deserve—for what? Some mediocre dick from a guy who breaks up with you, on average, almost every other month? There’s no way he’s worth this much trouble when you’ve been together under a year.
Take his latest breakup as a blessing and move on.
First of all a proposal isn’t the same as a marriage. It’s an intent to marry, it can be broken off as easily as a relationship. It’s not a binding contract, so calm down.
You should propose, move in together, then if it doesn’t work, end it. See how easy that is? If it does work , Great! You didn’t burn any bridges with the in-laws!
Babe, you're 18. Please listen to us. This is a dealbreaker and that's okay.
You skipped your child’s 18th birthday dinner to sleep with his best friend and lied to him for the reason.
“Once we stepped in my house I told him how bad I felt to what I did to my son” Obviously not that bad as you spent the night with the guy and accepted a proposal the next day.
Absolutely disgusting story and I hope that if you do meet up he tears you a new one again and then tells you that you are dead to him and goes full NC forever.
This is bordering on grooming and you should feel ashamed of yourself. I just hope for your sake you come up with a better story for when your new child asks how you and daddy met.
Have you cheated your ex wife?
The new wife is 37 too. Even though everyone was sure she was 21.
You should be extremely offended by everything about this guy. Don’t date men who cheat. You’re not different. He will cheat on you too.
Wasn't there a similar post recently about the same topic? Bf was going to propose and the gf constantly undermined any trip by inviting friends. It eventually resulted in the guy calling off the proposal and ending the relationship because he realized he'll always be second to the gf's friends.
Glad that things are working out for you OP. Thanks for the update.
I am very sorry this has happened to you and to Lucy. One thing to consider is that you are not married to her. You never made a vow to love her in sickness and in health. You are not obliged to stay with her if you don't want to.
I understand you feel some guilt about this. I guess my question is about her diagnosis. Is it one that requires her to take medication for the rest of her life in order to function normally? If that is so and she is medication resistant, it's highly likely that when she feels stabilized, she will stop the medications, That means at some point the psychosis will return. This could end up being a life cycle thing for her. You are not required to deal with this if this happens.
she just tells me shes doing her gneral associates, Ive had this exact conversation with her because in the past shes talked about doing medical billing and this would just be a certificate. to be clear, she is getting her own loans, but, if she doesnt pay for them the creditors would just come after me correct? even if we divorced after she got the loans…
I appreciate you input. Did you read n7? She enjoys the idea of making him jealous. I don’t know why she feels like this. It really bothers me because it makes me feel like she’s not over him.
I feel bad to say it but she doesn’t seem into being married anymore. Or with you for that matter. She probably has wild oats that need to be sown
I would love some tips on how to not let depression ruin a current relationship, if you have any! ? I am dedicated to working on myself and getting my mental health in check, and I have been doing MUCH better, but I still have “bad” days where I cry and am a bit depressing to be around. I've gotten to the point where I can save my crying and sadness for moments when I am alone, but that makes me feel… more depressed lol.
My gf said no I won't show and you won't follow this girl either. After this incident happened 4-5 times, I was really curious.
There comes a point that this kind of thing becomes a test, one that you failed unfortunately. For her to go “don't follow this person that you know” and then go “oooh look at that cleavage, look at that butt” several times is trying to needle you into wanting to look. It's basically a trust test which is very childish and not something a person in a healthy relationship should do.
I'm not saying you didn't mess up here but it sounds like she knew exactly what she was doing. If I was in your situation, I'd cop to my part of the screw up but would also be pissed at her for the set up in the first place.
The relationship can only be saved if she wants to save it. There's not much you can do about that I don't think. I'd also consider whether you want to go back to that relationship.
Just to cover all angles, maybe it wasn't a test. The fact it was that big a deal to her in the first place suggests that her and that person may have a bit of a history, or an issue of comparing herself negatively to the other woman.