Wow, how selfish can you be? Her mother is suffering with cancer and somehow this entire post is ME ME ME, poor ME, I am suffering, this is all nude on ME.
I hope she returns the favour by dumping you or ghosting you when you go through a tough time in your life.
There was a post about this on my IG and FB. If your partner has a certain type and dates someone out of that type it's a form of gaslighting , and if you feel uncomfortable you should leave. Imo you should leave, tell him to go find his type and you go find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
Especially when the person is in fight or flight mode, it doesn't sound like she was hurting anyone and just letting her emotions out until he decided to take it into his own hands. Op definitely needs to get some help and probably time away from her bf and her bf needs to learn how to deal with mental illness/breaks if he wants to continue the relationship
Her parents did an injustice to her by not cutting the cord. She's too old not to be able to do simple things. Are you just getting to know her or do you want to get serious with her?
Ask yourself if this is something you want to do? Forget what HE wants, what do you want? If bigger boobs would boost your self esteem then go for it. But don’t do it because your bf wants it.
I understand what you mean but it's kind of hard when we live! in two different states to date that way. I was going to make sure I found a job immediately so that I can have my own finances (even though he said I didn't have to work) in case this doesn't work out. I've also asked a friend to be my back up in case I needed to return home because it is a risk to move in with someone that you've been dating long distance but were not getting but so far with each other in two different states. By the time I move in with him would be a year and 9 months. But your right it is a risk but I'll make sure my family at home and my best friend shoot I might even post on here exactly where I am lol..for added security. I'd never put my address out live! but yea I'll prepare myself as much as I can. Thanks
You leave. He's 27 and didn't know that was cheating? Personally I have no idea how anyone stays with a cheater it can be done but I'm not sure how successful those relationships really are.
He can't put the genie back in the bottle, the trust is gone and nothing will ever be the same again. You can try couples therapy if you really want to but nothing changes what he did. You are entitled to your feelings of betrayal and you should not buy into his pretense that everything is okay.
You're 26 OP, you do not need to waste the rest of your life with a man you can't trust.
A prenup is fine when it protects both parties and both sides agree with it. A prenup without trust doesn’t bode well for either side. Did you ever see the episode of how I Met your mother where Barney wants to make a prenup with his fiancé? That’s the worst case scenario.
I guess I just feel uncomfortable saying it to her while she’s in a long term relationship. I’d feel like a dick trying to screw things up for her and her BF
If it takes years then it takes years..that is for a man committed to atone for his sins to his wife and family…which you OBVIOUSLY are not. Just move on man, take that step and file for divorce. You made the mistake, you should own it.
My question is …if your girlfriend owns a condo why couldn't you live! with her? Why did you have to rent a room? If you lived with her then maybe you would not have been so lonely.
I'm understanding why she doesn't want to have sex with you that frequently. 30-60 minutes of sex can start to hurt and be uncomfortable. Are you taking medications that make it harder to come or have a death grip? You don't mention anything about her enjoying it, which tends to be a reason why people may not want to have sex with their partners.
Missing the best part from your other post where you are already trying to make her mom and get her to pack your suitcase
We were packing for a trip, and I was getting overwhelmed. So I asked her if she could help me pack. She said “ you can’t pack yourself ?” So I kinda snapped and said “You are making me feel like shit and are judgmental. Stop overwhelming me” I didn’t mean it.
Encourage them to look into any community programs in their area to help with housing. Sometimes people don’t know what is available, you have to actually look into what is available. Help him look up resources if you have the time to research. Talk to your brother about thinking about community college, live! classes to better their situation in the future. Encourage him to look into building a career.
It made the guest feel unwelcome, probably, that he was rude. It’s not nude to look at someone and say hi, sorry I’m not feeling well, I’m gonna go lie down, have a good time.
The only thing I hate about having brown eyes is how dark mine are but once you shine a light on them lol they look amazing. Brown eyes imo top 3 eyes colors to have
Right? It honestly feels a bit cruel and immature to treat your partner this way for this long for something so innocent and normal, and something he only did in a moment of need when she wasn't available. Instead of sitting down and communicating properly, even if, like you said, she didn't know why she's feeling this way… making him feel so guilty and literally breaking down sobbing and apologizing, only to then continue giving him the cold shoulder and silent treatment… she's 35 years old. He's not breaking any boundries cuz she never set any (how the porn+masturbation talk was never brought up in 5 years is beyond me, but I digress).
When people say they need a break they basically want to cheat on you.
While true sometimes, sometimes asking for a break has nothing to do with wanting to cheat. I personally I asked my husband for a break once because he was smothering me and I needed to be alone, he wouldn't give it to me any other way. However, I didn't make rules and tell him not even to flirt or whatever else. I didn't cheat during the break (I also didn't justify me sleeping with anyone as NOT cheating xD), but he did. I forgave him for that though because I asked for a break and thats fair game, especially because our break was long.
We did end up getting back together, and the much needed break we had gave us time to chill out a bit and then be capable of having discussions without losing ourselves in our feelings. Plus, me leaving, staying loyal, and coming back taught him that he didn't need to smother me to keep me around. Now our relationship is healthier than ever.
Like you said, you know.
Wow, how selfish can you be? Her mother is suffering with cancer and somehow this entire post is ME ME ME, poor ME, I am suffering, this is all nude on ME.
I hope she returns the favour by dumping you or ghosting you when you go through a tough time in your life.
There was a post about this on my IG and FB. If your partner has a certain type and dates someone out of that type it's a form of gaslighting , and if you feel uncomfortable you should leave. Imo you should leave, tell him to go find his type and you go find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
Have you heard about the poophole loophole? This kind of thing is quite normal in religious communities.
u/submissiveturtle, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
holding someone down is always Shakey
Especially when the person is in fight or flight mode, it doesn't sound like she was hurting anyone and just letting her emotions out until he decided to take it into his own hands. Op definitely needs to get some help and probably time away from her bf and her bf needs to learn how to deal with mental illness/breaks if he wants to continue the relationship
First, reasons for breakup are mostly lies.
Second, there may have been an ethics or morality quality to you that made them feel judged, and they're having none of it.
Third, they may be a shitty person but comfortable in their own skin, and they are actually ethical enough to recognize that they're no match for you.
What does that have to do with anything?!
I mean… if he doesn’t want to pay at least half, he doesn’t need to be with you in a hotel room!
I would tell him “I paid for the last one, your turn. Let me know once you have booked the next one and paid”.
Honestly he sounds like he just doesn’t want to pay. If he doesn’t want to, why should you?
Her parents did an injustice to her by not cutting the cord. She's too old not to be able to do simple things. Are you just getting to know her or do you want to get serious with her?
Ask yourself if this is something you want to do? Forget what HE wants, what do you want? If bigger boobs would boost your self esteem then go for it. But don’t do it because your bf wants it.
I understand what you mean but it's kind of hard when we live! in two different states to date that way. I was going to make sure I found a job immediately so that I can have my own finances (even though he said I didn't have to work) in case this doesn't work out. I've also asked a friend to be my back up in case I needed to return home because it is a risk to move in with someone that you've been dating long distance but were not getting but so far with each other in two different states. By the time I move in with him would be a year and 9 months. But your right it is a risk but I'll make sure my family at home and my best friend shoot I might even post on here exactly where I am lol..for added security. I'd never put my address out live! but yea I'll prepare myself as much as I can. Thanks
You leave. He's 27 and didn't know that was cheating? Personally I have no idea how anyone stays with a cheater it can be done but I'm not sure how successful those relationships really are.
He can't put the genie back in the bottle, the trust is gone and nothing will ever be the same again. You can try couples therapy if you really want to but nothing changes what he did. You are entitled to your feelings of betrayal and you should not buy into his pretense that everything is okay.
You're 26 OP, you do not need to waste the rest of your life with a man you can't trust.
A prenup is fine when it protects both parties and both sides agree with it. A prenup without trust doesn’t bode well for either side. Did you ever see the episode of how I Met your mother where Barney wants to make a prenup with his fiancé? That’s the worst case scenario.
I guess I just feel uncomfortable saying it to her while she’s in a long term relationship. I’d feel like a dick trying to screw things up for her and her BF
Good take.
To me she sounds like a seasoned scammer.
If it takes years then it takes years..that is for a man committed to atone for his sins to his wife and family…which you OBVIOUSLY are not. Just move on man, take that step and file for divorce. You made the mistake, you should own it.
My question is …if your girlfriend owns a condo why couldn't you live! with her? Why did you have to rent a room? If you lived with her then maybe you would not have been so lonely.
If you want her to like you like that, congratulations.
If you don’t want her to like you like that, you should pull back a bit.
I'm understanding why she doesn't want to have sex with you that frequently. 30-60 minutes of sex can start to hurt and be uncomfortable. Are you taking medications that make it harder to come or have a death grip? You don't mention anything about her enjoying it, which tends to be a reason why people may not want to have sex with their partners.
U do realize guys and girls can hand out platonically. He might have lied because it’s crazy u think he can’t interact with other females.
Any advice on how to deal with this situation? And
Tell him to f*ck off. Do you really want to be with someone who hurt your feelings? Don't set the bar this low, girl.
Missing the best part from your other post where you are already trying to make her mom and get her to pack your suitcase
We were packing for a trip, and I was getting overwhelmed. So I asked her if she could help me pack. She said “ you can’t pack yourself ?” So I kinda snapped and said “You are making me feel like shit and are judgmental. Stop overwhelming me” I didn’t mean it.
Encourage them to look into any community programs in their area to help with housing. Sometimes people don’t know what is available, you have to actually look into what is available. Help him look up resources if you have the time to research. Talk to your brother about thinking about community college, live! classes to better their situation in the future. Encourage him to look into building a career.
No, just no…any possible chemistry was nuked by all the red flags.
It made the guest feel unwelcome, probably, that he was rude. It’s not nude to look at someone and say hi, sorry I’m not feeling well, I’m gonna go lie down, have a good time.
If you feel its not worth the work, than move on. You invest your life and your time, you deserve to feel you will get the return you need.
Free up some of this and get out of you bad investment.
The only thing I hate about having brown eyes is how dark mine are but once you shine a light on them lol they look amazing. Brown eyes imo top 3 eyes colors to have
Your dating a month! A card and maybe cook him a nice dinner. I certainly would not expect much after a month
Right? It honestly feels a bit cruel and immature to treat your partner this way for this long for something so innocent and normal, and something he only did in a moment of need when she wasn't available. Instead of sitting down and communicating properly, even if, like you said, she didn't know why she's feeling this way… making him feel so guilty and literally breaking down sobbing and apologizing, only to then continue giving him the cold shoulder and silent treatment… she's 35 years old. He's not breaking any boundries cuz she never set any (how the porn+masturbation talk was never brought up in 5 years is beyond me, but I digress).
Yeah she only told me cause his wife figured it out and mine was scared I would find out. I figured this was the reason for all the lying.
When people say they need a break they basically want to cheat on you.
While true sometimes, sometimes asking for a break has nothing to do with wanting to cheat. I personally I asked my husband for a break once because he was smothering me and I needed to be alone, he wouldn't give it to me any other way. However, I didn't make rules and tell him not even to flirt or whatever else. I didn't cheat during the break (I also didn't justify me sleeping with anyone as NOT cheating xD), but he did. I forgave him for that though because I asked for a break and thats fair game, especially because our break was long.
We did end up getting back together, and the much needed break we had gave us time to chill out a bit and then be capable of having discussions without losing ourselves in our feelings. Plus, me leaving, staying loyal, and coming back taught him that he didn't need to smother me to keep me around. Now our relationship is healthier than ever.