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Cowboy, 32 y.o.
Location: anywhere
Room subject: Inspireenvy, ‘s room
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Date: October 23, 2022
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It is common for this urge to come up, but a person either figures it out or they don't. It looks to me like he is struggling with his decision.
He is struggling with the realization that this other woman he found is just fine and that he could potentially be happy with either of you, and pretty soon he will realize that there are other women out there and the world that he could also be happy with. And that is a great life realization, there are billions of people out there and you can make a happy life with any number of people.
I think it would personally be better for you to treat this as him being indecisive with whether or not he wants to be with you. Because that's exactly what it is.
Knowing that your man is now indecisive about you, it's really up to you whether or not you want to wait around and potentially be his second pick, his backup person, or, if you want to be done with this and find somebody who will pick you first and not need to consider other people.
Really. I'm not even biologically related to my nieces and nephew but I love them like my own. Sure as hell wouldn't be any different if I got involved with a single parent. In fact I'd be the one insisting I not meet the child/ren until I'm sure the relationship is long term/stable because I'd get attached and if things ended I'd be more upset about losing them
If he wanted to, he would. Match that energy.
No. We just got tired of all the BS. I stopped dating years ago. Best decision I've ever made.
As a fellow pothead to ur pothead BF… Ur allowed to say no to him on using ur car to get weed. It's ur car and if it's not legal and he gets caught up for any reason ur car is gonna be taken in by an impound if u can't get to it when the situation happens. He's gonna have to get over it cuz ur car is ur property, if he wants to get weed then he can do what we use to do as teenagers and WALK or take a bus if ur that boujee. Hopefully he can stop being so selfish and learn that if he wants it then he can find another way to get it without subjecting u to it or possibly having ur car impounded when he gets arrested for it.
What is a “recovering PA” ?
You are right. I'm someone that needs alone time, and since it is my need, it's incumbent on me to create that space, not impose it on others. Especially by making them leave their own space. The only exception would be if he tries to do it by closing himself off in a room and you were barging in and not respecting it. Which you are not doing, it sounds like, but I'm just putting that caveat out there since I've read on Reddit about several people doing that shit. Lol.
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Judi g from the post, and your responses so far, you are an NPC in your wife's life. A side character that fills a role, but is otherwise a minor inconvenience to be tolerated. Might be time to figure out what you want out of the relationship, and if you can’t see yourself getting that, move on.
When i was a kid there was a kid who was older than me who would trade me pokemon cards. His older brother was super nice person while younger brother was pretty mean. Younger brother would manipulate trades to try and get the better card from my deck, i really didn't care about them at all and noticed his attempts to try and manipulate me. His older brother witnessed it once and freaked out at him. It is not acceptable to remove someone's autonomy. This is what happens with grooming, to a greater extent.
Your SO has manipulated you from a young age to believe your actions are your own, when in fact they are what he wishes of you. Even in making this post you are unable to see how the language he uses and his actions are manipulation. Step outside of your situation and look at it like trading a material for a moment. Is he giving you a fair price? How much would it “cost” you to be with him? Is that a fair trade? You will undoubtedly see he is manipulating you in all regards.
You're 18. Your friend group is breaking up next year anyway when a bunch of you leave for college or boot camp.
If you don’t like what he’s doing, you are free to tell him that. If he doesn’t stop, you are free to leave. But you are not his boss, and I’m not sure you realize that. He shouldn’t lie to you, but you don’t exactly seem like you would be very open to hearing to the truth.
Let her pay. She shouldn’t be expecting you to pay for everything. Doesn’t she work?
I think the key indicators here will be more about the rest of the relationship. Why does OP doubt him? Has he been acting shady?
U/throwaway_forhidden you need to just show him this post. He will understand. Yes people Jump to idiotic things. I had like 4 best friends for years- all male, I am female. We did not have sex. shock and awe but anyway. This specific friend- he’s an asshole and you need to punchhhh him in the brain holder next time you’re sober and you see him. Hopefully it’ll be in the library or somewhere cool like that.
Just be honest. Nothing happened. This idiot tried something. YOU DID NOTHING. DONT FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE THIS MORON TRIED TO COAX YOU INTO SEXUAL ACTIVITY. YOU PREVAILED!!!! Just tell you bf. Show the post.
Why would you resent her? She’s your friend. She’s using him for something totally different.
If you don’t want to be her friend any more because she’s letting him flirt and you think it’s morally wrong then you can lose the friendship but you can’t resent her for doing this. It’s her choice to jeopardise her relationship with her bf by allowing him to flirt.
NTA. However your husband is right she is just curious, time to get her doing little things around with supervision. This could just turn into something you both bond over and in the future could be helpful with regards to easing you work around the house
Here’s the thing i left out. I broke up with her 3 times and it hurt her a lot. At the time I wasn’t in a good mental state and I was dry with her. On top of that I didn’t open up with her. So I’m trying to make up for all the wrong doings in past to make her feel happy. But what gets in the way is her insecurity, also over thinking and being immature at times I guess. So my question is should I still be with her?
Honestly I think your post is really sweet. It seems like you're really understanding of why the situation is like it is, but you just miss intimacy with your wife.
I don't really have any advice (no kids yet), but I just wanna say you're really not wrong for trying to improve your sex life. Even after kids, it's part of a healthy marriage and it deserves attention.
Ah, you're a groomer. Why the fuck were you after a 17 year old when you were 23?
My advice: end this relationship and get therapy.
Yeah, it’s bad. You’re justified in leaving. Your responsibility right now is to protect yourself and get out. Your wife will take care of herself, she’s not your concern right now. If she tries to convince you otherwise, please ignore her.
She’s looking out for herself, and you’re looking out for her too. But no one is taking care of you right now, and that is an important thing that you can fix! Please start taking care of yourself!
Having your own needs and desires does not make you a bad person. Protecting yourself doesn’t make you a bad person. The people who convince you that their needs and desires matter more than yours are bad people. They don’t care about you, and you need to stop caring about them.
Do what you feel you need to do. You have to do what's best for your kids. What if he got high and neglected the children and they got hurt ? What if he drops a pill and the kids find it ? What if he gets arrested for doing something stupid and you have CPS come ? Or worse ? I hate what if-isms but with addicts/users, it's completely plausable any of these things can happen.
If you think his parents will help, then reach out to them. Your BF needs help, but unless he wants it, things will never change for the better.
Do you have any support systems ? Friends, family, anyone that you can go to for help ? Do you get along with his parents ?
That’s when you ask, not go for the deep dive.
I hope so
This was all that OP mentioned in the comments
“She was* still in college and the plan was for her to take her daughter back when she graduated. Her mom (daughter's grandma) said that she's since chosen other priorities over her daughter. I didn't push too much into it because it seemed like a touchy subject for her, but her mom said that she wasn't an option.”
I would suspect drugs, alcohol, abandonment I dunno. The mother also was 100% willing to give up full custody to OP.
Okay pedo
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
OP, please let go of him. Carefully, but ASAP.
Congratulations on collecting all of the red flags OP.
Leave. Run infact.
He's far too old for you. He is trying to baby trap you. Or atleast, does not respect your wishes regarding contraceptives. He's cold and manipulative. He is using you to fulfil his sexual desires and does not care about you outside of that.
Leave. Run. Leave. Leave. LEAVE!
OP this is not joking. It is emotional and psychological abuse. She is systematically tearing you down. For your own mental wellbeing, please leave.
If you found out that he had a penile implant, and never told you about it you would feel some type of way. It’s not exactly apples to apples but apples to bananas comparison.
It sucks when a breakup feels like of coming out of nowhere! The only thing to make of it is that she’s moving on and you should, too.
It’s super frustrating, and in time you might learn more details from acquaintances and social media, but you may never learn more.
Ultimately it doesn’t matter if she moved on because she met someone else or just realized this relationship is no longer working for her. It only matters that is over, and she’s been kind enough to tell you that, so mourn the loss and take time to heal and move on as well.
Thank you, you're right I did what I had to to survive and I'll never apologize for that
She’s a huge cunt. (Any penis would seem small when you’re that big of a cunt)
Well she did offer that i could ask her to cutoff their communication if it really makes me uncomfortable but i also don't want to make that choice for her. It makes me feel selfish and I don't really feel like meddling with other people's affairs.
Nope wrong sub dude.
I know I need to move on and that she isn’t good for me but I don’t know how/what evidence to gather because it will most likely just end up being he said, she said and people basing their opinions off of personalities or who they like more.
Not at all, she always tends to text me sexual stuff once in a blue moon but only to tease & never to actually do anything
she comes from a religious catholic family but her sisters & herself are not religious whatsoever
she told me last month her reason we haven’t done anything is because she’s waiting for the right time where she feels like she’s ready to do it
It seems pretty important. So you were pregnant and getting over the flu when your husband behaved like this?
Def bring it up to Jane. She's not being a friend and I don't understand why you have any interest in keeping people like that in your life. I know it's difficult since you work with them, but try to focus on what you have going on in your life instead of what you're missing. And make some new friends.