55 thoughts on “Sashakenedy online webcams for YOU!”
I feel like there's more to your wife's relationship with the couple that you don't know or aren't saying. I wouldn't be surprised if this older couple are open/swingers and have convinced your wife (who, at 23, may well be an impressionable dumbass, no offence) that this is all very normal and you wouldn't mind.
None of that excuses her behaviour, but I'm not really sure what advice you're looking for here. Can you forgive this? Will it happen again? Is this enough to leave someone with whom you have small children?
Don’t worry about the loan thing. With your debt load, current salary, and lack of assets, no bank is going to give you a loan for a wedding in the current economy.
It is important to remember that no one should ever feel pressure in all aspects of a relationship, including the sexual one. You must recognize and respect your own wants and needs in order to have a healthy and positive relationship, as well as knowing when it's time to reassess or walk away. It's also essential that you keep an open mind when it comes to understanding different opinions or beliefs on sex; don't let anyone make you feel less than because of their views. Talk things through with your partner if there are any issues regarding sex, but if they are not willing to discuss then perhaps it would be best for both parties involved first taking a step back from the situation.
Ask yourself this: Do you want this man being a father figure to your children with that nonsense rattling around? Imagine the damage he would do to a daughter by spewing this shit at her.
I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this but whatever. If you can see yourself with this woman forever that’s one thing. If you feel like you love this woman but you are most likely not in it for the long haul then I suggest having the threesome.
You’ll never have that creeping feeling about not being enough for someone ever again. You can truthfully say “yeah did that, wasn’t for me.”
We on-line with her family, but we on-line in a room above the garage away from everyone else. And I have asked her why she doesn’t and I don’t get an answer. I have told her I will try anything and even just do things for her pleasure. But to no avail. I get off pleasuring more anyways.
This is what I was thinking, too. I'm also wondering whether the girlfriend feels like OP doesn't listen to her. There's nothing in the post to indicate either way, so I might be way off the mark here, but one reasonable explanation for the GF's reaction might be that she has been overwhelmed with work for a while and communicated this to OP when they're at home. Maybe she feels she's not doing as good a job as she'd like, or she's constantly behind on all her stuff, or whatever it is. But while a surprise spa day can certainly be nice, I can see why the GF would be frustrated by it because it really only makes her job problems worse because it takes time away from getting her head above water at work. I'd certainly be very frustrated if I had communicated some issue to my partner (if she indeed had done this), and they do something that is supposed to be a nice gesture, but really only makes my initial issue worse.
It might be worth thinking about, OP. If my take is right your GF is probably right now feeling pretty frustrated that she has a BF who doesn't listen to her. She told him she was overwhelmed at work, and he responded by doing something that made the issue worse (even though the intentions were good). Also, an additional tip – if your GF feels overwhelmed, the gestures that will truly be well received and appreciated are the ones that will subtract from her stress, not add to it. Maybe you could pick up a bit more of the chores for a while until she feels better, or offer her massages at home, or buy her bath bombs, candles, and a bottle of red wine and tell her to pamper herself for an hour or so with a relaxing bath while you vacuum the living room and make dinner.
At their absolute core, your jibes at each other aren’t quite the same. She doesn’t have to imagine if someone described her as a terrorist, because at some point in time someone probably already has.
That said, you absolutely don’t have to accept being called something you dislike by your partner. Apologise for what you said, explain that it came from a place of feeling upset and uncomfortable at being labelled as a coloniser, and request that she doesn’t do so again.
Exactly, at work her husband is her colleague yet the reason she was excluded is because they’re married and boss didn’t want one couple to hold majority share. If this is work, then she shouldn’t have been excluded based on something completely unrelated to work.
I mean if you haven’t had sex in 6 months and he initiates 9 times out of 10, in which seemingly all of those times you turn him down, that’s a lot of rejection of intimacy.
Tbh the stars aligning comment kind of rings true to me. Y’all are dating, I don’t see the issue with some Sunday afternoon sex and then sleeping in your own beds.
Your dude is desperately trying to initiate intimacy with you, you don’t have to accommodate him but seems pretty clear he’ll leave if this is the level of intimacy going forward.
You have the answer right here. Her parents did everything for her. Went to teachers and coaches and fixed all her problems for her. And she absolutely cried to them first because she couldn’t understand the teacher’s assignment or the coach was mean to her. Parents got involved and viola, problem solved. And now she is doing the same thing to you. She cries and you solve her problem. She’s too old to be behaving like a 10 year old. She absolutely needs therapy and may have a hormone imbalance, but it is just a habit at this point. Talk to her and point this out to her. But first tell her you are going to have a serious discussion and she can’t cry. Tell her she has to see a doctor and she has to stop crying over everything. Tell her she can learn to control it because you can’t handle it anymore. It is not adult and it is not attractive. Let her know you can help her with any problem she has but not if she cries first. She has to realize what is wrong, know her limits and ask for help – without crying. It won’t change overnight, but it will change if she wants to. Make sure she knows you will not listen to her cry and won’t fix her problem if she does. She can cry in her pillow or cry to mommy and daddy, but not to you. And if she doesn’t stop, it needs to be a dealbreaker. Yiu need an adult relationship.
As a 56 year old woman that just lost her mother a month ago and am now having health issues I get it!
Having said that please be honest with her so that you don’t leave her with a ton of questions and self doubts. She doesn’t deserve to think there is something wrong with her or something she failed at.
I wish you well and please take care of yourself. Remember to make each moment count.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
We have been together for 3 years, known each other for 6, we started long distance, now we on-line together.
I have always had a very hard time with him watching porn, since to me it feels like cheating. It gives me physical pain, when I think about it. As soon as I'm not by his side, all I imagine is just him looking at girls jerking off.
I have tried to talk to him about it, but he turns hostile and doesn't want to share anything about it. I know that I don't fit into his sexual preferences too, so I constantly have the feeling that I'll never be good enough.
I honestly don't know what to do, and I just hope someone has been in a similar situation like me, and they found a solution. I don't watch porn myself. I don't think he would actually cheat on another person, but it really hurts me knowing he looks at other girls.
TLDR : Boyfriend watches porn, really hurts my feelings, don't know what to do
I think it depends on her behaviour on other days. So if she messages him on every day of the week, except a Wednesday, then it would be strange. Unless their is an explanation for it. So, for example, no discussion needed about the kid.
But if there is no reasonable explanation for the lack of messages on a Wednesday, you have to question why. Does something else happen on a Wednesday? Are all the messages to other people intact? Is she actually deleting some messages on other days, and you haven't noticed? People who are actually cheating, as per your suspicion, don't only cheat once a week. There would be a constant trend of messaging. So messaging would happen on the other 6 days as well.
Right now, all you have is suspicion. Up to you what you do with it.
I mean you outed her yourself, you understand she's a narcissist but apparently have no idea what that entails. She can never love you the way you want. You need to show yourself some respect and find someone else who will. Take some time on your own first. This drug ain't worth being hooked on.
Girls generally seem to talk in much more detail than guys about what they do in bed in my experience and i hate it. You can have a chat and try and set a boundary around this but when she's out with her mates and they are all discussing such things it might be quite naked for her not to.
I was thinking “okay maybe he is just flirting but is too awkward around it” since you didn't really give any examples, but “can you at least describe what your butt looks like?” had me do an 180.
If you felt uncomfortable, expressed that, and he never acknowledged it, you would've been 100% in the right to block him right then and there.
Needless to say, you're still in the right to have done that when you did.
In the future, I suggest not wasting your time on people who “show some signs of growth” if they gaslight you, walk over your boundaries, and/or outright tell you “hey I want to manipulate you (put up a persona) to get something out of you”.
Just block them if it comes to that, you can't help change them if they don't want to change.
So its just your boyfriend and 1 other male friend with 6 females? That don't even sound like a group trip for him. Because how many are going are even his friends? Just the 1 guy? It all seems super suspect. And just because of the incident you would think since you can't go he would opt out and do the trip a different day.
Maybe the fact that you had your animals in your own home was fine, then the idea of 7 cats and litter boxes in his own home with you just didn't sound as appetizing anymore. It wouldn't to me either.
It would make you not very kind. You know that. Of course he’s going to get hope if you offer to start having sex with him. Don’t do it. It will hurt him in the end.
You can only control your own choices. She says she wants to quit but at every turn she’s asking for an extension or just one more hit. That’s the full extent of addiction. You can’t make yourself accountable for her quitting because that’s not how it works. She can want to quit but lack the drive and conviction to follow through and that’s her own choice. I know you guys had this romantic idea of quitting together, but it’s obviously not working out if you’re trying to parent her. If you want to quit then quit, lead by example and maybe she’ll follow you or she won’t.
Your ex sounds like a thoughtful, mature adult so tbh I doubt that he’s still around because he’s trying to “scare you” or “punish you” like your friends suggested.
The fact that you’re finding it so naked to believe that someone would end a relationship over one mistake speaks to a bigger difference in your and your ex’s values. There are some things I would never allow to happen in my own relationship and yes, it would only take one time for it to happen and I would throw over a decade together out the window. However…
As I was reading it, I was pointing out in my head how it wasn’t one mistake. My take on this is exactly as your ex’s. It was a broken promise over something he feels strongly about, in front of him and he ended up cleaning up the mess and taking the emotional hit of your bad trip.
While my own stance on drugs is much less strict, if I bring it down to values, he did the only healthy thing. He knows he doesn’t trust you now so he ended a romantic relationship in a civil way.
Take it as a lesson and date people who have values and beliefs similar to your own. That would help avoid a lot of heartbreak.
I like him because he’s caring and kind. He genuinely listens to me and appreciates things about me that I myself find difficult to like. He doesn’t necessarily boost my ego but is rather attentive and compassionate
Sorry if you took that as me saying you should handle his every whim like it's a job. That was not my intention as you are his partner, not a sex toy. Probably could have worded it better.
Why do you have a joint account you are not married yet, doesn't matter that you are engaged. You should have your own accounts and a shared one where you each put a set amount in for bills etc.
Simple as that, then there can be no issues of who spent what from the joint account which are a terrible idea. You read loads on here about how someone is having a bad relationship and the partner just takes everything from the joint account, or has something like what happened to you.
It makes me feel self conscious and low in confidence to go into another sexual relationship though.
Don't worry about that for now. Better to be single and working on yourself and feeling safe within your mind and body before going into your next relationship.
No, you don't want to go because your relationship is washing down the drain and this guy doesn't prioritize you.
“Oh he has recently tried to change” sure, by committing to traveling with his friends, and trying to save face by bringing you along.
I have actually no clue why you made the centerpoint of this post about “not wanting to go with somebody who has already been there” the actual meat of your issue is about your relationship problems, not your preferences on traveling.
I used to be like this girl. Maybe I didn't necessarily flirt with these guys but I entertained and “flaunted” them to my ex, because I was an extremely insecure 19 year old. Do yourself a favour and break up with her now, trust me on this
The age is not an issue. I am attracted to older men’s intelligence and experience. The necessity to explain the housing situation explains why I met his daughter so soon.
I feel like there's more to your wife's relationship with the couple that you don't know or aren't saying. I wouldn't be surprised if this older couple are open/swingers and have convinced your wife (who, at 23, may well be an impressionable dumbass, no offence) that this is all very normal and you wouldn't mind.
None of that excuses her behaviour, but I'm not really sure what advice you're looking for here. Can you forgive this? Will it happen again? Is this enough to leave someone with whom you have small children?
Don’t worry about the loan thing. With your debt load, current salary, and lack of assets, no bank is going to give you a loan for a wedding in the current economy.
It is important to remember that no one should ever feel pressure in all aspects of a relationship, including the sexual one. You must recognize and respect your own wants and needs in order to have a healthy and positive relationship, as well as knowing when it's time to reassess or walk away. It's also essential that you keep an open mind when it comes to understanding different opinions or beliefs on sex; don't let anyone make you feel less than because of their views. Talk things through with your partner if there are any issues regarding sex, but if they are not willing to discuss then perhaps it would be best for both parties involved first taking a step back from the situation.
Sounds like he meant it. Pack your stuff and move on. Maybe don’t be so controlling next time.
Tell him a husband stitch is where they sew his tip to his stomach.
I don't even think it's very micro really, “your entire gender is inferior to mine” is pretty aggressive.
Ask yourself this: Do you want this man being a father figure to your children with that nonsense rattling around? Imagine the damage he would do to a daughter by spewing this shit at her.
Yeah, this is my understanding as well. And I think in a lot of cases it picks up cold sores which many/most of us have had, even if dormant.
I believe the only accurate way to get tested for HSV is to get a swab of an active lesion.
Girl get out before this man literally starts hitting you.
Gurrrllll…. Run from this guy. He’s bad, bad news.
I saw in a comment he asked what you are “giving him for the first time”? This scares the crap out of me.
And the whiplash about “let’s get married” / “no you are BAD for abortion” is an attempt to keep you off balance and groveling.
And… he’s even mentioning marriage after 4 months???????
There is NOTHING here that indicates a healthy individual.
Never let anyone shame you for your choices. You did what you had to do and you deserve respect for making that very difficult decision.
Instead, he’s wielding it as a weapon.
Run. I’m not joking. Run, and block everywhere
There
So you think your fiancé is creep and easily angered?
Why are you marrying him?
No.
They wanted to play uno or chess, and uno sucks as a two player game
I'm still trying to figure out if this is a troll post or someone actually wrote it 🙂
No he fucking didn’t lmao.
I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this but whatever. If you can see yourself with this woman forever that’s one thing. If you feel like you love this woman but you are most likely not in it for the long haul then I suggest having the threesome.
You’ll never have that creeping feeling about not being enough for someone ever again. You can truthfully say “yeah did that, wasn’t for me.”
We have a winner
We on-line with her family, but we on-line in a room above the garage away from everyone else. And I have asked her why she doesn’t and I don’t get an answer. I have told her I will try anything and even just do things for her pleasure. But to no avail. I get off pleasuring more anyways.
Reminder to report transphobia when you see it. He's not going to change his ways, but we can at least try to remove him from this subreddit.
This is what I was thinking, too. I'm also wondering whether the girlfriend feels like OP doesn't listen to her. There's nothing in the post to indicate either way, so I might be way off the mark here, but one reasonable explanation for the GF's reaction might be that she has been overwhelmed with work for a while and communicated this to OP when they're at home. Maybe she feels she's not doing as good a job as she'd like, or she's constantly behind on all her stuff, or whatever it is. But while a surprise spa day can certainly be nice, I can see why the GF would be frustrated by it because it really only makes her job problems worse because it takes time away from getting her head above water at work. I'd certainly be very frustrated if I had communicated some issue to my partner (if she indeed had done this), and they do something that is supposed to be a nice gesture, but really only makes my initial issue worse.
It might be worth thinking about, OP. If my take is right your GF is probably right now feeling pretty frustrated that she has a BF who doesn't listen to her. She told him she was overwhelmed at work, and he responded by doing something that made the issue worse (even though the intentions were good). Also, an additional tip – if your GF feels overwhelmed, the gestures that will truly be well received and appreciated are the ones that will subtract from her stress, not add to it. Maybe you could pick up a bit more of the chores for a while until she feels better, or offer her massages at home, or buy her bath bombs, candles, and a bottle of red wine and tell her to pamper herself for an hour or so with a relaxing bath while you vacuum the living room and make dinner.
I'm really confusing about the staring thing. Is that something the two of you do on a regular basis to greet each other?
At their absolute core, your jibes at each other aren’t quite the same. She doesn’t have to imagine if someone described her as a terrorist, because at some point in time someone probably already has.
That said, you absolutely don’t have to accept being called something you dislike by your partner. Apologise for what you said, explain that it came from a place of feeling upset and uncomfortable at being labelled as a coloniser, and request that she doesn’t do so again.
Exactly, at work her husband is her colleague yet the reason she was excluded is because they’re married and boss didn’t want one couple to hold majority share. If this is work, then she shouldn’t have been excluded based on something completely unrelated to work.
Ok early20smale
I mean if you haven’t had sex in 6 months and he initiates 9 times out of 10, in which seemingly all of those times you turn him down, that’s a lot of rejection of intimacy.
Tbh the stars aligning comment kind of rings true to me. Y’all are dating, I don’t see the issue with some Sunday afternoon sex and then sleeping in your own beds.
Your dude is desperately trying to initiate intimacy with you, you don’t have to accommodate him but seems pretty clear he’ll leave if this is the level of intimacy going forward.
You have the answer right here. Her parents did everything for her. Went to teachers and coaches and fixed all her problems for her. And she absolutely cried to them first because she couldn’t understand the teacher’s assignment or the coach was mean to her. Parents got involved and viola, problem solved. And now she is doing the same thing to you. She cries and you solve her problem. She’s too old to be behaving like a 10 year old. She absolutely needs therapy and may have a hormone imbalance, but it is just a habit at this point. Talk to her and point this out to her. But first tell her you are going to have a serious discussion and she can’t cry. Tell her she has to see a doctor and she has to stop crying over everything. Tell her she can learn to control it because you can’t handle it anymore. It is not adult and it is not attractive. Let her know you can help her with any problem she has but not if she cries first. She has to realize what is wrong, know her limits and ask for help – without crying. It won’t change overnight, but it will change if she wants to. Make sure she knows you will not listen to her cry and won’t fix her problem if she does. She can cry in her pillow or cry to mommy and daddy, but not to you. And if she doesn’t stop, it needs to be a dealbreaker. Yiu need an adult relationship.
As a 56 year old woman that just lost her mother a month ago and am now having health issues I get it!
Having said that please be honest with her so that you don’t leave her with a ton of questions and self doubts. She doesn’t deserve to think there is something wrong with her or something she failed at.
I wish you well and please take care of yourself. Remember to make each moment count.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
We have been together for 3 years, known each other for 6, we started long distance, now we on-line together.
I have always had a very hard time with him watching porn, since to me it feels like cheating. It gives me physical pain, when I think about it. As soon as I'm not by his side, all I imagine is just him looking at girls jerking off.
I have tried to talk to him about it, but he turns hostile and doesn't want to share anything about it. I know that I don't fit into his sexual preferences too, so I constantly have the feeling that I'll never be good enough.
I honestly don't know what to do, and I just hope someone has been in a similar situation like me, and they found a solution. I don't watch porn myself. I don't think he would actually cheat on another person, but it really hurts me knowing he looks at other girls.
TLDR : Boyfriend watches porn, really hurts my feelings, don't know what to do
Go and have a good time. Also it sounds like you should dump your hypocritical and controlling bf.
I think it depends on her behaviour on other days. So if she messages him on every day of the week, except a Wednesday, then it would be strange. Unless their is an explanation for it. So, for example, no discussion needed about the kid.
But if there is no reasonable explanation for the lack of messages on a Wednesday, you have to question why. Does something else happen on a Wednesday? Are all the messages to other people intact? Is she actually deleting some messages on other days, and you haven't noticed? People who are actually cheating, as per your suspicion, don't only cheat once a week. There would be a constant trend of messaging. So messaging would happen on the other 6 days as well.
Right now, all you have is suspicion. Up to you what you do with it.
Good luck
I mean you outed her yourself, you understand she's a narcissist but apparently have no idea what that entails. She can never love you the way you want. You need to show yourself some respect and find someone else who will. Take some time on your own first. This drug ain't worth being hooked on.
Girls generally seem to talk in much more detail than guys about what they do in bed in my experience and i hate it. You can have a chat and try and set a boundary around this but when she's out with her mates and they are all discussing such things it might be quite naked for her not to.
Im sorry dude, I wish we were wrong but I’m just not sure how maps can get it that wrong to that specific address, I’m calling BS here.
Tell him he will never get it if he asks. It’s a spontaneous treat and if he even hints at it, it’s off the table.
And then just don’t do it. When you find work again, buy him a fleshlight.
You need a cat not a boyfriend.
Go as a guest, have an amazing time, then back burner your friend.
I was thinking “okay maybe he is just flirting but is too awkward around it” since you didn't really give any examples, but “can you at least describe what your butt looks like?” had me do an 180.
If you felt uncomfortable, expressed that, and he never acknowledged it, you would've been 100% in the right to block him right then and there.
Needless to say, you're still in the right to have done that when you did.
In the future, I suggest not wasting your time on people who “show some signs of growth” if they gaslight you, walk over your boundaries, and/or outright tell you “hey I want to manipulate you (put up a persona) to get something out of you”.
Just block them if it comes to that, you can't help change them if they don't want to change.
So its just your boyfriend and 1 other male friend with 6 females? That don't even sound like a group trip for him. Because how many are going are even his friends? Just the 1 guy? It all seems super suspect. And just because of the incident you would think since you can't go he would opt out and do the trip a different day.
Maybe the fact that you had your animals in your own home was fine, then the idea of 7 cats and litter boxes in his own home with you just didn't sound as appetizing anymore. It wouldn't to me either.
It would make you not very kind. You know that. Of course he’s going to get hope if you offer to start having sex with him. Don’t do it. It will hurt him in the end.
Well fucking said
You can only control your own choices. She says she wants to quit but at every turn she’s asking for an extension or just one more hit. That’s the full extent of addiction. You can’t make yourself accountable for her quitting because that’s not how it works. She can want to quit but lack the drive and conviction to follow through and that’s her own choice. I know you guys had this romantic idea of quitting together, but it’s obviously not working out if you’re trying to parent her. If you want to quit then quit, lead by example and maybe she’ll follow you or she won’t.
Its been 2 years I know if feels naked but its super simple. Kiss him and say I love you.
Your ex sounds like a thoughtful, mature adult so tbh I doubt that he’s still around because he’s trying to “scare you” or “punish you” like your friends suggested.
The fact that you’re finding it so naked to believe that someone would end a relationship over one mistake speaks to a bigger difference in your and your ex’s values. There are some things I would never allow to happen in my own relationship and yes, it would only take one time for it to happen and I would throw over a decade together out the window. However…
As I was reading it, I was pointing out in my head how it wasn’t one mistake. My take on this is exactly as your ex’s. It was a broken promise over something he feels strongly about, in front of him and he ended up cleaning up the mess and taking the emotional hit of your bad trip.
While my own stance on drugs is much less strict, if I bring it down to values, he did the only healthy thing. He knows he doesn’t trust you now so he ended a romantic relationship in a civil way.
Take it as a lesson and date people who have values and beliefs similar to your own. That would help avoid a lot of heartbreak.
Girl dark humour has limits
She probably never stopped. Go to surviving infidelity.com it helped me with a cheating wife
I like him because he’s caring and kind. He genuinely listens to me and appreciates things about me that I myself find difficult to like. He doesn’t necessarily boost my ego but is rather attentive and compassionate
Sorry if you took that as me saying you should handle his every whim like it's a job. That was not my intention as you are his partner, not a sex toy. Probably could have worded it better.
Especially after a year. Onward and upward, OP!
Why do you have a joint account you are not married yet, doesn't matter that you are engaged. You should have your own accounts and a shared one where you each put a set amount in for bills etc.
Simple as that, then there can be no issues of who spent what from the joint account which are a terrible idea. You read loads on here about how someone is having a bad relationship and the partner just takes everything from the joint account, or has something like what happened to you.
It makes me feel self conscious and low in confidence to go into another sexual relationship though.
Don't worry about that for now. Better to be single and working on yourself and feeling safe within your mind and body before going into your next relationship.
No, you don't want to go because your relationship is washing down the drain and this guy doesn't prioritize you.
“Oh he has recently tried to change” sure, by committing to traveling with his friends, and trying to save face by bringing you along.
I have actually no clue why you made the centerpoint of this post about “not wanting to go with somebody who has already been there” the actual meat of your issue is about your relationship problems, not your preferences on traveling.
I used to be like this girl. Maybe I didn't necessarily flirt with these guys but I entertained and “flaunted” them to my ex, because I was an extremely insecure 19 year old. Do yourself a favour and break up with her now, trust me on this
The age is not an issue. I am attracted to older men’s intelligence and experience. The necessity to explain the housing situation explains why I met his daughter so soon.
Non us citizen. Cannot work until the gov says so.