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Date: October 30, 2022
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If the family blows up it isn’t your doing. She is wanting to cheat on her husband with you.
Your boyfriend shouldn't pressure you to have kids right now, you are objectively too young. Yes, some people your are and even younger do have kids, but this hurt their careers and also having less experience in life in general, result in that they don't really know how to raise kids sometimes and some of those people make more mistakes than they would if they had kids when they know more about life.
But: if you never want to have kids, yes this absolutely means that your boyfriend and you are not compatible. Same if you can't initially agree on the number of kids. Sure, life happens, sometimes unplanned pregnancy result in a much loved extra child, sometimes you plan for more children but the pregnancies never happen. But you have to initially be on the same page. It's just NOT possible to compromise about having kids vs not having them, people who want kids fundamentally want a totally different life than people who never want to have them. Love alone is not enough for a couple. You also have to want the same kind of life as another person if you stay with that person, and you don't seem to want the same kind of life as him. It's better to break up now, than to keep wasting time and missing on the opportunity of meeting a more compatible person for each of you.
You raised some great points and I've been feeling like this is true for a while now. I needed an unbiased view on this because I've been unsure of this has all been on my end because I just can't think of him that way either and I tried. And I think it's disappointing but if there's just friendship there, it is what it is. I just have worried about hurting his feelings if he hasn't realized this himself. And I don't think the realization has clicked with him yet based on the way he talks about our future. It throws me for a loop tbh. I just don't want ending it to wreck the easy potential friendship if he doesn't see this the way I do.