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Room for on-line sex video chat ValeriiaaB
Model from:
Languages: it,fr,en
Birth Date: 1989-04-07
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureGamers
Date: October 31, 2022
A borderline personality will love you then hate you. When someone you just met says they love you, run
without any judgement, it looks like the core values of people like you that doesn’t care about the aspect and people like me
Lmao. Sure no judgement.
For the record, I don’t have casual sex. I see one person at a time and I clarify that from the beginning. Because how is someone to know that you’re someone who expects exclusivity if you don’t explicitly express that? If you do express that and they continue to mess you around, that’s wrong and unkind. If you don’t express that and you’re upset they weren’t able to know your thoughts and feelings without you telling them, then you’re being unfair.
Thank you for the advice. Maybe you’re right, he has brought up that the way I say stuff triggers him and causes him to explode on me. When this last fight happened I remember feeling like I said it in an alright way…in my opinion I guess. Maybe I can ask him how he’d like me to bring up issues. I don’t know. I just feel like nothing will ever go right with us. Just feeling defeated.
Doesnt sound like shes ready for a real long term relationship, as this has happened before.
Without more info we cant possible give you much advice, so whatever you feel is best for you is what you should do.
Honestly after twice, I wouldnt waste my time, but you do you.
Nah. If you have children, they come first. I'm sorry you were put in this position. Maybe she'll come to her senses someday…. maybe…
Nah. If you have children, they come first. I'm sorry you were put in this position. Maybe she'll come to her senses someday…. maybe…
If his Instagram habits bother you, maybe find an agreement where you both delete your accounts. Sounds a little one sided. Uncomfortability may stem from insecure projections. Address the fact that you're threatened by other woman. The rest shall fall into place.
sounds like a safe female friend for him to have. And the way he described it to his guy friends sounds like braggadocio and you shouldn’t worry it’s just a guy thing.
I’m not going to sugarcoat this because I’m not in a great mood due to losing 9 years of emotional investment in a person recently so I hope you don’t take this as being mean.
Grow a spine (i wish I’d had this advice) she is at best emotionally cheating. At worse you are not her only sexual partner at the moment.
How does she not owe me anything? I don’t want to argue, i want to understand 🙂
He doesn’t trust her because she’s not trustworthy. She’s literally been cheating on him.
She's living a life that she loves because she's a human being who deserves to do what she loves.
If he dumped her, she'd probably be poor, but still be happy doing her work.
What do you suggest when one or both partners are stonewalling?? We have a pretty flexible and free work environment, so we sometimes call each other or at least we used to. 🙁
“yes, I came.”
his comment history is just full of misogynistic shit? bro frl should just date a man if women are too complicated
You should be calling the police when he does this and breaking up with him, not spending your time worried about his safety. If you stay with him, do you really think he won’t do this with your (future) kids in the car? He’s a repeat, routine drunk driver who dgaf about anyone.
I'm (35f) on the spectrum and have ocd(diagnosed at 35 and 14, respectively), among ither things. When I was a kid mom used to try to force me to change the order of items I was playing or coloring with, and then I'd get in trouble and sent to my room for having a tantrum. She says she didn't know, but when someone reacts so strongly, listen.
He baited you. Every time he asks you, he's baiting you. Someone like that will exploit whatever mental diagnosis you have, or possibly should have, and it will become psychological abuse.
Run.
Agreed.
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Bro u are young, u have plenty of time to find another woman. Leave her don’t ruin the rest of ur life for a cheater she will do it again. Leave leave leave.
when it comes to teens dating teens, my libe of thinking is as long as yall could have been in high school together it's fine. you're only one grade above her, don't worry too much bud.
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It is the most natural thing in the World to turn “Blame” in on ones' Self.
This is especially true if you are of a more conservative bent and
have developed particularly high standards for yourself.
American Society can be rather free-wheeling for some, especially
around the more Liberal centers such as University Campuses.
Remember, that the Overwhelming majority of folks you meet on a campus
are just trying to figure all this shit out, just like you. Of course, they
will be reluctant to let on that they are possibly “clueless” so that means
you need to get used to having a healthy skepticism for what you see
and hear.
Try not to take all this chaos to seriously.
In the end, all is unfolding as it should.
Best Wishes, and Good Luck….
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Hey! First of all i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Both the assault and having to deal with your boyfriends change. In my opinion I think there are two options in this situation, option 1 is to talk to him about it, as you mentioned in the post he doesn't know it's trauma related to SA, I know it's probably scary and difficult but it may help to mention that to him, to really convey the importance of him respecting your boundary. Obviously you don't have to go into detail, just saying “this trauma was caused by SA”. The other option is to end things with him. I know that might seem harsh but you communicated a boundary when you first got together and he has disrespected that boundary. Not only that he is disregarding how impactful it is to you. I'm assuming he can see that you're having panic attacks and can tell you're extremely upset by it. If someone cares about you, keeping a beard should not be worth your mental health. On top of that, him trying to convince you to have sex with him despite you being clearly upset is an extremely big red flag to me. And I am so sorry you're seeing this side of him a year down the line. If I were in this situation, I would explain to him why it is so upsetting to me and if he didn't immediately shave it off and apologize profusely for his behaviour and make a significant change, It would be over for me.
i also want to add, there is no timeline for when you need to be over it. That is your decision, and your bodies decision. This kind of healing doesn't have a set timeline and i find it extremely rude and cruel for him to expect you to just “be over it”. Ive had some difficult experiences related to SA and abuse in my life, i'm also in therapy and have been slowly healing but i still get triggered often, my partner tries his best to be there for me and be understanding. You deserve better and you will be able to find someone kinder and more understanding than him if you choose to end things
Definitely seems like the most logical solution that’s for sure. Just feels like I’ll be giving up and letting her get away. But I’ve been trying to do that. I’m sure it won’t get easier but hopefully it works itself out. Thanks for taking the time.
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Why do you have to be friendly? Being friendly would definitely give her the impression that all is forgiven and you can be friends again. Don’t be chatty. Don’t ask about her day. Take the child, find out the child-related info you need to know, and say goodbye. Be civil but distant. There’s no need to communicate beyond exchanging relevant information regarding your brother. (And YES, it’s super gross and inappropriate that your dad decided to fuck the way-younger ex girlfriend of his son. The length of your relationship really doesn’t matter at all. I don’t know why you’ve forgiven him when he hasn’t even apologized or recognized that what he did was awful and disgusting.)
he knows that and has been trying to find one, or so he tells me
did you text at midnight on the start of his birthday or midnight at the end of it? He either thinks you're getting too attached or he has a gf. Possibly both.
You should look up DARVO. It stands for (d)eny, (a)ttack, (r)everse (v)ictim & (o)ffender. Sounds like she checks the boxes.
Which part of this is funny?
On that we'll never know
Just remember, THAT GUY is the type of man your wife is sexually attracted to. You're just there to raise his kids.
Super thankful.
Also, you need a new bank account where no one else has one. Open an account and withdraw everything you can from the original, even if it means leaving money behind if they won’t let you withdraw all of it.
Then, don’t tell ANYONE where the new account is. Why would anyone need to know that?
Age of consent laws vary by state/country. Pedo usually refers to pre-pubescent kids. A 17 year old having consensual sex with a 40 year old is creepy and weird, but not necessarily illegal everywhere in the states.
MASSIVE red flag. Seriously. If you think that’s bad wait til if you get married, then he will think he owns you.
End it. You will never get over this. Your partner has betrayed you in an unforgivable way. She cheated. And she lied about it.
Yeah as a way to mask guilt. You have proof, right? So you know he's getting defensive in an attempt to railroad you into dropping it. Seen this a fair few times with cheating exes myself, unfortunately. You're very young, don't waste these years trying to fix losers.
Are you still in college?
I honestly feel like he likes the attention. Why else would he not shut it down right away? No girlfriend on earth would be relaxed about this
By the time you’re 25, you should be self sufficient enough to not have your parents paying your bills for you because you wanted to move out. Generally, you would decide to move out on your own when you are capable of self-sufficiency.
That’s not saying that parents can’t help out if they are able to, but if they can’t, for literally any reason at all, you need to be able to handle your own shit. That’s what adults do.
Sounds like a lot of childish drama for a 33 year old
what do you mean?
It would be a bad sign if he told you you can’t have any male friends or ever be alone with another woman again.
I really like this idea
Dude what the fuck? Your 33? You have been with her for 8 years. It’s your job to provide for her. And your bitching about $300? Talking about lending money to her? get your finances in order before pursing a relationship. That’s pathetic.
Sounds as if you have a larger issue with the friends, other than them not wishing you HB? My partner & I pretty much wish our own friends happy birthday, don't really cross over that much (even though we are mutuals by this point in some cases).
You are definitely trolling or are here for validation because people are unanimously telling you this is an abusive, controlling situation you don’t wanna be in and you just justify and update that “You’re not going :/“
I’m all for helping real victims, but also a supporter of “you made your bed, now lie in it.”
If you pick an abusive bf over the advice of sane people here, do not come here posting for a 5th time about the same things because you’ll get the same advice.
While I would like that conceptually, I do think it's important that mom has a space away from me. If she ever starts dating again, I don't want another man in my house that I own. I also think it would be unfair to vice versa to have to see another woman I date in the same house.
Take care
I didn't even think of this. OP, as soon as you are safe talk to the police about your stolen money. You aren't married so the money isn't community property.
It honestly sounds like she has a little trouble distinguishing fact from fiction. Does this happen in other instances in her life where she holds someone accountable for what happened in her dreams? I think you need to sit down with her and remind her that dreams are like a mental screen saver and nothing near reality. And just make sure that she knows you wouldn’t cheat. And also point out to her the unfairness of being mad at you for something you did in HER dream. Maybe even ask her how she would feel if you woke up pouting over something she did in your dream. Also, I wouldn’t apologise for anything, ok? You didn’t actually do anything wrong and you want to nip this in the bud fast before it becomes cyclical. Good luck, I have never heard of this happening before and it sounds like it could be sorted out with a firm conversation.
Why are you telling her what to wear at all?
You aren't the reason for the divorce, HE is. Go to therapy and talk about your grief with your therapist. It will really help.
I’m going to say something incredibly unpopular here. But I am SICK of people getting mental health diagnoses from arm chair psychs on the Internet. (As in Reddit posts, etc). This has become rampant since Covid and I can’t help but wonder if it’s truly a way for many (NOT ALL) to justify being lazy.
I can empathize with depression and anxiety. I actually have a diagnosis for both and am active in my treatment/maintenance of both. I also understand you aren’t supposed to compare your experience to others. But I’m also sick of that. I have two kids and a full time career. There are days (many days) I don’t want to get out of bed. The thought of it is too much. But I have responsibilities. We are a two income household. I can’t imagine putting the burden of being the sole income on my husband because “I have depression and anxiety.” It’s bullshit.
There seems to also be an uptick with this in the stay at home mom community. Seems like with a lot of these moms never working again is the ultimate goal. No matter what stress that brings on their partner.
Your wife can’t function at a job she says, but has all the energy and dopamine to redo your basement. That’s pretty telling. She also won’t get a diagnosis. Also telling.
You can’t really blame her only though. You’ve enabled this behavior and allowed her to get to a place in your home and marriage where she doesn’t seem to have any obligations or responsibilities.
I’d say lay a boundary down and stick to it. She gets a job (even part time) or you are leaving. She’s supposed to be a partner. She isn’t.
She lied by omission the nature of her relationship with him. Is in constant communication with him Wants to go and see him without you And still has sexual pictures and videos of him.
End the relationship. Tell her to fuck off and go live! with him, and that you find her cheating disgusting.
No. It’s just a curiosity right now
100% I would block my ex if he was asking me about my posts. I don't want to feel like I have to censor my feelings. It may be his way of healing. That doesn't make anyone a dick to protect their peace. It's weird you think that's such an ugly move.
You said you didn’t want to be friends and then you kind of got into his business – it doesn’t matter why he posted it? He’s allowed to deal with the break up in his own way and you feeling entitled to question that made him realize he didn’t want to deal with any post break up drama.
I get feeling sad and hurt after a break up, and ot sucks when the relationship really does change overnight but it’s best to focus on yourself.
Haha yeah for real. If you are ok to wait until marriage and it is something that is important to him then wait until marriage… this is the east solution
Whatever moral high ground he may have had, he's lost. You made a mistake and he's making you pay for it over and over again. Good thing he's revealed his true colours before marriage. This would last the rest of your life and would escalate.
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It wasn't calling him a no hope loser. I said that maybe I should pack up my stuff, take the bed and go… I said it in anger and frustration.
He doesn't like to go out to eat, and doesn't like when I cook. I buy the groceries so I can offer to get whatever supplies he wants for a really nice meal.
See, you already had the option to give it up, and you have stated numerous times that it was too hot for you.
You take accountability by letting her go. If you don't like what she does, you let her go.
Im pro-p0rn, but you knew she thought it was cheating and you did it anyways. The two of you have mismatched boundaries and you've made it clear you aren't wanting to follow hers – so a breakup is likely best for both of you.
Dude. Leave. Why are you subjecting yourself to this abuse? More like he's making your depression worse.
Get out and do things. It's like you go to sleep one day, wake up and you're 50. Live! every day,
Sorry about your husband. My wife was in love and she was carrying me 100%. That doesn't mean I am not nice. Just not aware that I am forcing her into my ideal life. I much later realized I was tiring her. She had a change in personality and got angry at smallest things. Then I looked for therapy. To learn how I should act to be 50 percent. People in Reddit helped me a lot too. I need to get her back first and then we can talk 50-50.
The way I KNEW when I saw she said she was pregnant that it was going to end in “miscarriage” there was absolutely never a baby.
Gaslighting?
You should be upset, but given your ages I think context might be worth determining “how upset”.
Is he browsing women for excitement? Time to get a new boyfriend.
Is continuing a practice of basically playing “hot or not” with his juvenile friends from when he was single? That is a teachable moment I’d you feel like going to the effort and telling that you are cool with it, it’s misogynistic, and that you can always go with option one if he doesn’t straighten up.
When I came out and married my ex I encountered the same bs. The best advice I can give is to just let the assholes be miserable and cut them off. Uninvite them. Don't bother chasing them or showing it upset you. They've shown who they are and that their “love” had harsh conditions attached, making their love fake. The people who do love you and your future wife will eventually come around. Good luck.
I wish i was strong enough, im just so upset about whats happened.
I understand very well what you are saying, but there are statistics around it and it seems that a very big % of the males population is looking at teen porn and it cannot be all of these guys that are looking at that content are pedophiles. I watch lesbian porn and I'm not a lesbian. I respect your opinion and thank you for sharing it.
Omg omg omg! Do not get into a car with this person ever again! He is unhinged and is literally trying to kill you! Why was he driving? It's your car! You need to stay away from him and his rage because somebody is going to get killed. Please seek help.
What's gross about it. You mad two adults can make something work instead of immediately treating the other person like a disposable object?
Appreciate the advice, tho.
He’s going to think that I forgave him and everything is fine though if I don’t say something.
Hormone replacement is a great option for some people, but it’s not without risk and at least in my country, you can’t „just“ do it. There has to be a strong indication because it has the potential for some not so great side effects.
Good rule of thumb: if a medication is very effective, it also has strong side effects.
I don’t even know what I should say to her or if I should say anything at all or just let her wear the dress and suck it up? Any advice would be appreciated.
Your husband-to-be should handle it, not you. If your MIL-to-be remains obstinate, then ignore it at the wedding and reception, but edit her out of the video and pix.
make him look foolish than make things “awkward”
This right here is why this would be a deal breaker for me. Because she's privy to what's going on, OP is the only one unaware.
Is this a year long sport?
Yeah this seems like a perfect relationship to he in.. picking locks and calling each other because you can't properly communicate.
Then we get to punching holes into the wall.
Marriage material right here. Definitely not codependent and fucked up beyond compare… noooo never!
Oh thank goodness. I thought they meant birth mom ?