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Room for on-line sex video chat DIY-numphueng
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Date: October 31, 2022
In ancient Greece, Spartans were known to penalize unmarried men by the age of 25 (with fines and higher tax). So unless this lady thinks herself a Spartan man in 432 BCE, I see absolutely no other reason why she wants to be married at 25. Since she's not a virgin, and has sexual interaction well before marriage, there's no natural urge to commit now. I suggest you end things here, especially if you don't have a plan for your future.
So one reason I know of just from other situations that I‘ve heard about this. Marrying someone brings a lot of legal parameters into play as far as I understand it.
Perhaps he doesn‘t need the piece of paper or law to be happy in his relationship. I know a lot of friends who will stay with their lovers for life but not ever want to get married because it‘s useless in their eyes. It‘s just formally declaring your relationship to the government.
So now you have reached a crossroads in your relationship; he told you were he stands now you have to make your choice; stay with your relationship as is or move on & rey to find someone who values marriage as much as you do….
But to be clear if he says if you want to get married if you want to get married you should pay for it; does that mean that he will do it if you pay for it? So pay for the court and go do it! Or is he just saying that to further his argument as to how much he disagrees with marriage….if he is willing to do it, if you pay for it then do it.
It comes down to you; whats more important to you. the life you have with him or the life that marriage represents to you. How do you see the future family demands if/when kids are involved. Are your kids gonna have a different last name then you? Is that important to you?
Maybe make a pro/con list to help you decide.
But, why wouldn't she just wait for you to drink your normal amount of beer and pass out? It just seems like such an extreme measure if all she wanted to do was look at some of your text messages.
But, whether she did or not, if you think she's capable of doing something like this to you in any circumstance you should rethink this relationship. Why are you with someone who might do something like that to you?
If he would ask nicely I’m sure she would! If she ain’t to mad at him.
Updateme!
From OP: He makes rape jokes a lot too, but says it’s just his way of coping with an awkward situation even though it upsets me.
I don’t know what to make of your original post (him having sex with other women because you’re still traumatized by past SA), but I sure as hell know what to make of this. It’s extremely disrespectful to you, and you should not tolerate that.
Yes, he is imagining being with them and wants to try out those positions he sees. There are entire subreddits dedicated to just this.
There was a post earlier on this very subreddit where the guy told his SO he thinks of other women when having sex with her. She was obviously hurt. Some responses tried to normalize this.
I used to be like this as well. Tbh in order to get over my shyness and loneliness, I started going out by myself to malls, restaurants, even walking around a downtown area or going to a park by myself. Bring a book and some snacks with you and just chill in public. This will give you more confidence and security within yourself. Once you’re comfortable with yourself, I promise it’ll come easily. Do you work or go to school at the moment?
agree 1000%
There's no way to fix things. Because to do that, all of these people would have to be completely different to who they are now, and that's not going to happen. I spent 15 years married to someone who did the same things to me. I kept thinking the same things; I can fix things, I can fix him. I learned the naked way that I can't. Neither can you. Get out now. It will only get worse from here on out. Please PM me if you need to talk.
Hi!
I think here is the same situation, because she told me that her husband is quite strict, demanding of her and also does not make any important business decisions without her input. It is clear she is not happy, she mentioned on two ocassions that she is a person capable of loving and receiving love.
Today she commented on a ig story of my daughter and me, that she looks like me, for which i replied: yes, but she is dangerous, dynamite…and she said: she got that from u too. How d fuq do i respond to that?
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It is very gross lmao. Yeah I smashed you and now you are my brother ??? It’s BS when people say they were only friends with their ex. Cut it out. There’s a billion people that you could possibly date and yeah there is always someone better out there.
Opening a relationship doesn't save anything.
Commit to fixing it (like you getting some therapy) or call it off, then work on yourself.
You are a servant and this dynamic will not change. Leave. Her son says what’s she says… pay attention.
Of course I did, it was a terrible thing to do. I made amends and bettered myself so I never did it again. I changed.
I actually have no one back home, it's why it was so easy to pick up and leave.
The reason he got upset initially was that I accepted a request from this old friend who I stopped talking to because he was disrespectful towards my partner. Said friend apologized for what happened and that was that. Partner got upset because he reminded me the real reason I stopped talking to him was because he was pushy about some money I borrowed and I guess he got upset because I told him the main reason was the one I had said.
I made things worse by basically giving him shit for being upset, I kept trying to get him to talk about it and almost ruined our hangout with our friends because I was being pissy. He said I could either behave like everything is fine or I don't join.
He was acting fine on and off all of yesterday and he's been like this since yesterday evening after we got home. I've apologized over and over but he just ignores me.
Your relationship is not going to work out and yes, the chances are very high he’ll walk out of yours and your baby’s life. He doesn’t want this baby or relationship but that said, you wore both stupid and irresponsible to get pregnant to begin with. You didn’t get pregnant by yourself after all. You’ll be very lucky if you can get steady child support.
You need to face the reality that if you keep this baby (adoption is an alternative too), that you’re going to be a struggling single mother with no partner. Don’t kid yourself about that. You need to make your decisions and plans based on reality and not a pipe dream of happily ever enter with a guy already resentful and looking for the exit.
I'll see what I'll do. Thanks.
My friend, this is a bad call. Running away from a situation like this is not the best plan of attack
Lame
Old school logic of doing the “honorable thing”. He’s 40. He was influenced by baby boomer parents and Great Depression grandparents where if you knock someone up you marry them, because they thought it was the right thing to do to not leave a woman as an unwed single mother.
This is why it happened.
Use words not hints
? you went from civil conversation to claiming victimhood so quickly there. Impressive skill
This post exemplifies so many where the OP has been gaslighted, trickle-truthed and manipulated to the point where they don't know what is up or down any more.
I hear what you are saying. I just have to believe he simply IS immature. No one can change that except maybe him. And I wonder if by getting away with that for years, he figures he's doing fine.
Maybe just work on one issue at a time? Sit him down and tell him what you want to see more or less (or none) of. Good luck.
Being a snarky bitch during your period doesn’t include verbal abuse. She’s using that as an excuse.
I always equates street smart just being about experience and exposure to things. Vs being sheltered and naive.
That's a good one!
Sit him down and very bluntly tell him that he has to change his behaviour or it's over.
Also do you babywear? My daughter was very clingy at the age (and still is 4 months later) and babywearing was a lifesaver as I could go about my day and get stuff done whilst she happily snoozed in the sling!
You should go your separate ways.
Him wanting to move to Florida is okay. You wanting to stay in California is also okay.
Him basically dictating you are moving to Florida whether you like it or not is absolutely not okay.
Then trying to guilt trip you by claiming you're 'not willing to commit' by refusing his demand.
This is well up there into the territory of abusive relationship stuff.
When future partners ask what the tattoo is, what are you going to tell them?
Tell her to make up her mind. You've got more options than she does and it makes no sense to me why you put up with her indecision and games.
Nah, only if they talked about exclusivity, then yes.
If that isn't a sign…. picking unemployed bro over you.
Hey asshole! Which you fucking are! Maybe don't try to tell a son things about his father. He knows his father, you do not. His father has served his time for a non violent, non sexual crime. Any victims he had have received their justice. Many many people make wrong decisions and are never caught, this guy at least payed his due and has earned his return to society. It's time to move on and assholes like yourself better start looking for some higher moral ground.
So let's recap, you're a guy who's banging a married woman who's perfectly fine letting another guy raise his kid because it makes your lives easier. You sound like a stand up guy ?.
You can attend his next wedding, you’ll only get one graduation.
You won’t be celebrating by yourself. Virtual party on social media.
Your graduation ceremony was set on a specific date. You had no control over that date. Their wedding can happen any day, any time- they chose to inconvenience you.
Anyone can get married. Not many people graduate medical school.
Text the man and get it over with. He can respond how he chooses or respond. Stop making this so DAMN difficult.
You two FUCKED without protection for a week what the HELL did you think was to happen. You need handle your business you will know quickly where he stands.
It’s wrong for the ex to be abusive, regardless of her intent.
It's how my ex lost the shared custody, he was an addict and his gf was smoking pot or drinking in front of the kids, he began to drink again even if it wasn't “too much”. Just the fact that they didn't feel like drinking while taking care of the kids made the social services lose every right on the kids.
There are several reasons for considering porn as cheating: young age, or strict religious upbringing, neither of which seem to apply to you though the latter might. But the more common reason for mature adults is hypercriticism.
In other words, you might be feeling guilty for something in your past and so try to reduce your dissonance between your love for him and your guilt for something you might have done that would hurt him if he knew. The most common way people practice dissonance reduction in a relationship is by exaggerating the wrongfulness of minor things about their partner or that their partner does, so they can reassure themselves how they aren’t that bad.
He wants to “explain”? That he lied and cheated? There's only two possible reasons he wants to talk to you
1) he wants you back. He either got his fill of “experiences” or the relationship with his affair partner fell thru. You're just his backup plan.
2)he doesn't want to be the bad guy in your narrative and he wants to gaslight you into a mindframe he likes better. I wouldn't doubt he got shit for doing this to you and the easiest way to shut down people giving him shit is to get you “on his side”.
Don't waste your breath on this guy.
It’s funny, you are soon to discover how pointless life was before and how precious a child is, sadly time goes by way too fast with them.
I am 90% sure this is some sort of nightmare gender-specific childfree rage bait because it's so brazen. I am expecting some sort of twist power play update like the wife actually owns the house they online in and is evicting OP and the daughter.
Based on other comments you’ve made in this thread you should REALLY report this guy to the police. What he does with you he WILL do to other women and it is absolutely not okay for him to get away with behavior like this. Flat out he belongs in jail.
You mean ex right op?
OP it's time to end it all your doing is prolonging the pain that's going to come from him leaving and i feel like you may have made yourself believe that you could change his mind or that the relationship was enough to make him stay and got into the love fog and now your being hit with the realty that he is moving and leaving you so please end it now so you can focus on healing.
Also OP I hate to say it but you got played he knew he was always going to leave he just said what he needed to give you false hope heres the deal when he said he was moving but didn't want a casual hookup he meant he wanted a exclusive relationship for the three months he has left and then move on. He may have said he never intended to harm you but look that shows he recognizes that he was hurting you he was selfish and instead of letting you know nothing would change he just let you believe what you wanted
OP its time to end this now block him on everything
I'm not going to be very kind here, just to warn you.
You need to part ways with this woman.
You started dating her when she was underage, I don't care what state law says.
She got pregnant and it sounds like you pressured her to get an abortion.
She cheated on you after this, that's like whatever. This relationship never should've happened anyway.
You then manipulated her in the worst way possible by hanging suicide over her head, you are wrong, you can online without her JUST FINE.
You hit the nail on the head when you said “I'm not mentally healthy”, you should start therapy as quickly as possible.
Never invited me around her family or friends. Treated me like a secret.
I'm not surprised given all of the above.
I thought she was going to say she was a porn addict or something ridiculous. Not telling people what you read in your free time isn’t a big deal lol. If I told my partner of four year, “hey, btw I enjoy trash tv,” he would probably be like that’s ok, but don’t expect me to enjoy it with you. You’re allowed go have separate hobbies. You only need to disclose information that is considered a typical dealbreaker. For example, if you have major health issues, kids, are going through a divorce, etc. This is ridiculous. Don’t let this asshat make you feel bad. If I were you, I’d be asking myself why you even feel bad about this (i.e., do you have low self esteem?) Personally, he comes off as condescending and insufferable.
You make it sound like he has more of a problem with his identity than everyone else. Could that be the issue? He could use some trans support, and you might seek out a group of trans parents. Good luck. ?
It's difficult to leave, but you have to. He doesn't love or respect you. He is manipulating you because he gets something out from you.
You need to be the bigger guy and let him not step on you. There's no such thing as “being too nice”, he wants what he wants and doesn't give a F fly about how it can make you feel.
Someone who loves you doesn't hurt you.
Now it's up to you if you want to keep being with a lowlife cheating dumpster of a guy or if you want to respect yourself.
People have spoken, we can't help you more than we already have. The choice is yours
You move on
He gaslighted you for years.
So now you don't even believe in yourself anymore.
Had he painted “I cheated with her” in red paint allover his face, you still would want to hear him say it.
But whatfor?
“Liars gonna lie!” You already do have any proof you need.
And differently from what that guy above said:
You are not his sidechick.
You are his asset keeper.
His “See? My home, my wife, my horse.”
You do have your role. That of his token of respectability.
But that's not how YOUR game goes.
I would get an account to my name and put money aside, if you didn't already do that.
Secure all proof you have so that he can't get at it and erase it.
Then be off. Don't make much fuss about it. No Romeo and Juliet like scene.
If there are no children: pack your things, find a place to online for the time being. File for divorce.
Be off.
Leave the overthinking to the ladies. Nothing sexier than an upfront confident man.
I won't wait around. I get that he is done and I need to move on. This is certainly a lesson learned. Thanks.
Ex boyfriend
OP time to make like a tree and get the fuck outta there.
I have an appointment with my primary care tomorrow morning to discuss options because I’m new to IL and my whole family is in TX. Thank you so much for your reply. I feel like I’ve been doubting myself for a while but your urgency is really validating.
It really sounds like you could use a new marital counselor. Contradicting you in front of the kids to undermine your attempts to help them succeed is a really toxic behavior, and the heavy metal thing is insane/asinine. Any counselor that isn't supporting your experience equally with hers is biased and unhelpful at best. I'd recommend finding a new one to help you mediate safely, as you move towards a healthy separation.
1) he is extremely insecure so when he is around his friends he overcompensates.
2) you are extremely insecure so you nitpick anything and everything.
Consider therapy
Indeed. It would be kind of upsetting if it were the crab from The Little Mermaid
EDIT: I’m not sure if anyone can actually see this post, as when I view it from another profile I have it says it’s been removed. If anyone can’t see the actual content of the post so let me know!
You shouldn’t be worried but angry and changing your respect for him.
If he’s in an accident then you would be joining him. So zero point going with him.
True concern means you have standards and end the relationship.
You need to decide what about it the doesn’t sit right.
Is it the frequency of it?, the amount of it?, the type of it?, do you think it is interfering with your relationship sexually?, is it the fact that he is watching it without you?
And probably many other questions.
Once you know why it doesn’t sit right, you can start to work through it, or come to realise that for you it is a relationship deal breaker.
OP – You are still really young and just learning about relationships. Do not let this incredibly messed-up situation lead you to think this is normal. She's is 19 and the other guy is 30. How long has she known him? This is practically a groomer situation, and depending on how long their “friendship” has been going on, she may not understand how inappropriate it is.
Are you sending him lovey texts throughout the day? Or just upset that you’re no longer getting them? Have you put in the effort to make sure he feels as loved by you as you’re expecting him to make you feel? There are tons of reasons people pull away, and a very common one is that it’s a response to someone else pulling away. So…is there anything you’ve done over the past couple of years that could contribute to him texting you differently?
Bloody hell, this comment is amazing. I hope you have a wonderful life.
This is what healthy relationship is. On emotional level the idea of “relationship” is a toxic mess. This why you feel like something is lacking in your healthy relationship.
You might want to go to therapy, as you fon't want to sabotage your relationship. Way towards emotional normalicy won't be easy, but it is worth it.
You can also tell your gf, that you will be looking into therapy, as your relationship is the best ever, but due past issues you have trouble enjoying it.