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Tanisha-sweet Public Chat Channel
Date: November 1, 2022
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He would talk about how cute our kid would be. And why was I not pregnant yet, and what traits from each of us he wanted the kid to have and if he wanted a boy or a girl more, etc. I’d never considered a pregnancy kink, but I’m recognizing all his bullshit and manipulation tactics he’s used on me. The gaslighting, the lies to lead me to believe whatever it is that he wanted me to believe. He sure likes to twist stuff to fit his narrative and I stupidly kept trying to put trust and faith in him.
That is a very tough predicament you are in, especially based on the thought you have we can only assume you are not co side ring leaving the relationship. Courage should be your focus. No one deserves to stay in a place where violence is accepted. That being said there are many reasons psychologically people stay in these situations. Question or seek answers to why you feel staying is a better choice for you. The patterns of your spouse breaking humane boundaries will inevitably be passed down to all children, old and new, because it has to do with their anger and your boundaries not being set by staying with them . Regardless of the final choice of delivery or abortion, understand that you are seeking advice from others. What would you do if you were not in that relationship? That should be your decision Bc they are indecisive. Also consider if you are expecting an unfair person( someone resorting to violence when angry) to make a decision that’s fair. Probably will not be wise to rely on any choices a person willing to hurt you or others makes Bc they are already out of line. Be strong enough to know you and your new baby especially deserve to have a better situation than that, even if you need a second opinion to convince yourself or understand why you don’t believe that. ??✌?❤️ stay courageous my friend.
Sure??
That’s not a normal response. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were being playful. That’s harsh from them. How long have you been dating? I find it strange that it escalated that fast? High? Sorry that happened to you. Heads up don’t stress about it you did nothing wrong.
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Sounds like you just lost about 180lbs of bad boyfriend to me
Well either she gets therapy like yesterday and things improve or next time you'll simply leave.
i honestly think you’re looking too deeply in to this. nothing you explained really suggests that he’s cheating. he just seems more concerned and guilty over the situation.
are you insecure about her as your baby sitter? because it seems like you may have been holding on to some feelings that is coming out now
…I mean, it sounds to me like your primary use to him is as an incubator for his children.
Hypotheticals are never really an awesome idea, because none of us can ever truly know how we'll react in any given situation and we often surprise ourselves.
But the fact that he seems to have given this serious thought, and would rather 'lay you to rest' and get on with his life and kid, instead of dealing with a traumatic situation together would be a deal breaker to me. Better you be dead and he have his kid than risk you being alive and not doing what he wants?
All the ick.
I don't think it's worth reopening something that could be cast away so quickly
However, if you do decide to open some contact back up, you certaintly need to understand where this drastic and relationship-ending change of heart came from. I'm guessing that someone else put it into her head, and you need to know who if you're considering reconnecting.
Yeah still it’s an idiotic “gift” if it’s not all-inclusive or at least planned/discussed with your partner
Well if this is how you feel. Like you made a mistake letting him move in then just tell him how you feel and ask him to move back out.
Let me summarize “this just one argument”:
he agreed to your boundary only when you broke up with him
he put up his new one in retaliation
your common strategy to solving problems is an ultimatum (you stop doing X or else I’m leaving you)
You’re right. This sounds healthy.
Yep. If he knows all the bros are judging his dumb ass, maybe he'll fall in line.
Good call to check your meds at the pharmacy. All people should do that when they are prescribed Adderall, Vyvyanse, etc. One of my friends discovered this way that she was getting shorted 1 pill each time she filled. 29 pills, two months in a row. You were smart to rule that out as I think it probably happens more than it's discussed.
It sucks you're going through this. He needs rehab or he needs to GTFO.
“He’s wonderful when he’s not being horribly toxic.” ?♂️
All those reasons are your avoidance.
This was never about him. He’s the same guy. You hung on for poor reasons because it was emotionally easier than ending it.
What is a “mild form of diabetes?” Is it type 1 or type 2?
People can and do online long lives with diabetes.
Why did her cousin get lung cancer?
Let’s be real here though; you’re talking about a stranger. Stay in the “name of love?” Sure. These things will always be a risk with anyone you date. If you don’t want to continue with her, that’s totally fine. It’s your life.
To begin with “I can't really make it. How about next week?” doesn't sound as if you are being played. It sounds as if he genuinely wanted to and needs to reschedule.
Having sex and then kind of disappearing, however, doesn't sound great to me.
So, there is one green flag and one…yellow-ish towards red flag?
I guess you have to decide on if you believe in the green flag, or if the red flag still stings enough that you feel that he cannot be trusted.
Not even a teenager, I had to double check the ages, I was expecting them to be like 10 years old.
Good points, thanks for taking the time to respond.
Oh sis. Run.
Immediately.
Oh it's worth a break up all right!!! Don't let people treat you that way. I'm 55 this year and the relationship I'm in is very clear… He's my BCFL (booty call for life) because I prefer to be single. Relationships are suffocating to me and there's too much dishonesty. He and I have a perfect understanding and have for nearly 35 years that I will see you when I see you, you do your thing, I do mine. We are 100% honest with each other about other partners and protect ourselves if/when we're with someone else. We don't give each other any reason to lie to each other… we just know we don't have to lie to kick it. Besides, he's not a good liar. *giggles*
Anyway… unless you've agreed it's okay to be with other people while you're together, you need to find a way to bring it up, let her explain herself and then you need to have the courage to walk away. Apologies are not enough at your age. She will do it again and probably has but you've just not found out about it. Consider enjoying your 20's, because those are the BESTEST years of your life!!! Cut her loose but don't do it without letting her explain herself first. It will make it feel better when you break up with her to know that you had the courage to confront her and make the right decision.
Come back and post an update. And don't go out and find a new girl first. Just do it, be single and enjoy some of what life has to offer you right now.