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I feel lime you have this urge because he manipulated you. He wants anal and uses sort if a twisted sandwich tactic to get want he wants. You know the tactic right? Criticism packed between two compliments. What he did was: compliment (you are soo great, kinkiest I ever had, wow), criticism (I need anal) + comparison (my ex did it, therefore negating the previous compliment), “compliment” aka emotional manipulation (I trust you so much and I finally open up and I am not rewarded with a sexual act you don’t want).
It’s manipulation, especially bringing up his ex that he knows is a sore spot. That’s pure evil. Also you don’t know if any of it is true. You don’t know if they frequently had anal. And you only have his word that she enjoyed it. Maybe she hated it but he pressured her and insisted. Maybe there is a reason she is an ex.
Don’t let him pressure you. Pressured consent is not consent. A good person accepts boundaries. A good person doesn’t pressure others into sexual acts. Take a good hard look at your relationship. He seems to have you craving for his approval. Break the cycle (easy to write, naked to do, but start with small steps like this issue: no you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. If he seeks anal outside of the relationship then so be it. Then he is a cheater and anyway not the right person for you.)
I feel lime you have this urge because he manipulated you. He wants anal and uses sort if a twisted sandwich tactic to get want he wants. You know the tactic right? Criticism packed between two compliments. What he did was: compliment (you are soo great, kinkiest I ever had, wow), criticism (I need anal) + comparison (my ex did it, therefore negating the previous compliment), “compliment” aka emotional manipulation (I trust you so much and I finally open up and I am not rewarded with a sexual act you don’t want).
It’s manipulation, especially bringing up his ex that he knows is a sore spot. That’s pure evil. Also you don’t know if any of it is true. You don’t know if they frequently had anal. And you only have his word that she enjoyed it. Maybe she hated it but he pressured her and insisted. Maybe there is a reason she is an ex.
Don’t let him pressure you. Pressured consent is not consent. A good person accepts boundaries. A good person doesn’t pressure others into sexual acts. Take a good hard look at your relationship. He seems to have you craving for his approval. Break the cycle (easy to write, naked to do, but start with small steps like this issue: no you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. If he seeks anal outside of the relationship then so be it. Then he is a cheater and anyway not the right person for you.)