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Date: November 1, 2022
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… I think… She's got other fish in the sea… be cool
I would put more boundaries and possibly finding a different place to move. No offense, but the more you stay in this situation, you're going to still end up in love with him and you won't be able to move on. So you either have him set the ground straight and tell you straight up, or you will need to get out and move on.
Best of luck to you.
OK….just to remind you of something you already know.
Our minds have a weird way of taking care of us,
especially if there is pain involved. What we do is
compromise our emotional availability by distracting
ourselves with only the best memories of the last Bond we had.
The intended outcome is to keep us from repeating the same hurtful
experience before we might handle it….should it happen.
You are in transition and your mind and intuition are whispering in your ear,
“Slow down, tiger”.
Take the advice your guts are giving you and just transition a bit slower so
you don't become one of those “rebound relationships”. Good Luck
You’ve got a handle on it.
Myself, I just got bored of people. One day, I met someone that didn’t and now we have a 12 year old.
Good shout on the hairdo! Will try it out – thanks so much for your feedback 🙂
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Well, you should probably ask her what's going on, simple as that.
She got distant from you and closer to her BSF clearly, but it doesn't necessarily means she has feelings for him : It's just one possible explanation. However there is clearly something that push her away from you currently, and the best way to figure out what it could be is to ask her.
If she refuse to tell you, then you could tell her what your theory is : Maybe she'll react to that and either correct you, or confirm it. If she completely refuse to communicate whatsoever, there isn't much you'll be able to do except for looking for infos from her friends, giving up or break up
I’m dating him is that bad
You need to arrange a safe way to leave, ripe in your friends or family to be ready to help you move out in the quickest way possible. Maybe wait till hes sober and going out for the day/to work/to friends or something and leave asap- don't leave anything behind or leave things behind knowing you'll never get them back, even ask his mother to help you.
I'll be your fiance. Not a word of complaint from this sugarbabe. No sir.
Read 'Love Worth Making' by Stephen Snyder
Yep you're right it isn't black and white. You've got your opinion and his wife has his. Now he can choose the friend or the wife. That part is pretty back and white.
You might not want to call it that, but having sex without consent is rape and that's what he did. If you want to stay with him that's your choice, but in my opinion you need to talk to him about it so he never does it again, possibly even go to therapy together to deal with it
I watched some very interesting YouTube videos about toxic jealousy. You should look them up. I absolutely agree you shouldn’t have to delete any pictures that are part of YOUR history. The nudes though, yeah, I don’t believe you didn’t know they weee there.
I watched some very interesting YouTube videos about toxic jealousy. You should look them up. I absolutely agree you shouldn’t have to delete any pictures that are part of YOUR history. The nudes though, yeah, I don’t believe you didn’t know they weee there.
He could of said it over text..
I don't wanna feel stranded from the rest of my colleague but if that's the only solution, guess I'll cope with headphones in my corner then.
If you feel like you're being “brushed off” then unfortunately that's most likely true. You can proceed, but please be sensitive and accept any rejection graciously. Women often use the “brush off” method because men can become abusive when they are rejected.
Does your culture allow any in-person meetings that are below the threshold of a date? If so, send her an invite and see how she responds.
One example I can think of is going to a shopping mall. Say that you are going to buy a new buttonup shirt or jeans and need a woman's opinion to find the right style and fit.
Or what about the event where you first met: obviously that involved talking to strangers. Are there any other similar events where you could meet again?
An alternative is to have a conversation generally about her life goals, and whether she wants to be dating at this stage of her life. If so, ask what she looks for in a partner. If she describes a person like you, that's probably an invitation. If she describes a life without you, that's probably a polite rejection.
I did this successfully for 3 years… and then I got pregnant. It was totally illogical, we had sex 10 days after I ovulated. Life finds a way I guess.
What if she has a twin that uses her name for her stage name?
You might want to get legal advice because you can’t keep him from his kids if he wants visitation or partial custody. Sad that he didn’t want to parent his kids especially when he knew about them.
Do you understand that Cubans are people of color? Especially those who have African slaves in their ancestry? I can understand why she broke it off.
A 2 second Google search brought up the wiki entry for Cuba: “Cuba is a multiracial society with a population of mainly Spanish and African origins.” The country is 40% white, the remainder are descended from the native inhabitants and African slaves.
I would emphasize that she is asking you to leave behind not just your kids/grandkids but you whole life. It's very hot to make friends as an adult, especially when you're probably hoping to retire soon (would you bith be jobsearching in your new city?). Finding new favourite places in a new city can be fun/exciting for some people but honestly sounds exhausting to me. It's a million tiny everyday issues that really add up.
There's also a difference between how much you love someone and how much you feel responsible. If I had to choose to save my brother, sister, or niece from a housefire or something, I'd pick the toddler every time. It doesn't mean that I love her more than the brother who is one of my closest friends. Her burgeoning personality is cute but I see her every few months and my sister doesn't communicate well so I hardly know her. But she's small and fragile and can't take care of herself. Even though your children are adults now, I think it would be natural to feel more responsibility to them than to a spouse when they need help and she doesn't.
I don't blame her for wanting to be close to her grandchild, but I don't blame you either, and I don't think that was a fair thing for her to say. Hopefully it was a moment of emotion and you two can talk this through.
Relationship aside…is there any financial difference between the two options?
If you can save $1500 a month living with parents vs breaking even on your own…I’d be tempted to listen to BF and stay out until he gets back. Being able to save a good chunk of change before you move out could make a huge difference in terms of safety net when you move out on your own.
Something similiar happened with me and my brother. We were 5 years apart so we didnt really grow up together, we started bonding when he turned 16 and slowly developed a relationship until he passed under unfortunate circumstances. It sucks, but a sibling is no guarantee for anything. Im guessing that having more kids is wonderful for the parent if they turn out fine.
Sounds like he was feeling insecure and needed someone to lash out to, and you're that someone. Nvm if your relationship is open or closed, you should be someone he loves and cherishes, not a punching bag for his frustrations. I don't think you should put up with such behaviour, at all.
I'm going celibate from now on. I've learned my lesson.