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Date: November 2, 2022
“Mortified” and “disturbed” are really strong words to use here. Maybe just tell him to aim better, but treating this like a moral failing on his part if a bit much. Have a little perspective
Yeah I know I need to work on that..I am going to have a conversation with him.
Same, except my wife married me anyways because ??
I don’t understand why I do things
This is precisely what therapy is for: to unpack your behavior patterns and thought patterns with a qualified professional who can help you burrow down to the root of WHY you do and think what you do and think. From that point you can change the behavior.
Nobody here will be able to offer that because we don't know you or anything about you. That's why you need to work with someone who has the time and experience to work through that process.
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It's nearly certain given the caving, but I'm holding him responsible as he had at least a small idea and funded it.
yup, as soon as I read “he was always more mature than me” my red flags started to fly. if the genders were swapped this sub would already be having a field day with OP. it's all gross.
“I need space” is difficult to tell. It can mean she’s made a second to stay or a decision to end it
And you think OP’s child won’t grow up in pain living with a parent who is in her life and wishes she wasn’t? Trust me that’s not any better. There’s no hiding that.
I would suggest just going LC or NC for a while. Your dad is a a bully.
Hang out with her one more time. At a restaurant or bar. And send a bunch of texts to that person, while she is next to you. See if she checks her phone. Or gets any notifications.
You could also say something really really nasty about her in the text, to see if she has a reaction to it.
Yesss I'll take that into consideration. Thankss
Would you find it reasonable that a woman breaks up her child's parents just for asking for a paternity test?
That’s ridiculous. Might as well take a Uber if he’s asking for that kind of place
Any adult calling another adult a “poser”is a big fucking dork.
Anyway, I thought adults shared music with each other. I wasn’t aware criticism came with that. Your boyfriend is an asshole.
I’m sure he says a lot of of shitty shit to you too.
I say if she continues to be on your mind there is no reason not to contact her. It's been months, so you're not really rebounding or anything like that. She may already be in a relationship but you won't know unless you ask. I'd make it clear that you've been thinking about her and would like get together and see how things go. If she senses genuine interest on your part, she will remember you later even if she is with someone right now.
Out the door is how you should proceed
Honestly, you handled the situation perfectly
In the future tho instead of saying “I have a bf” and come across as being presumptuous you can just drop it in conversation. For example if they asked about your plans this weekend you could say that you're visiting your bf (even if you aren't) I find it is way less awkward this way lol
In regards to your bf, I think the comments are being harsh on him. His reaction wasn't great, but he's human and not everyone can be the paragon of relationships that this sub wants. He got jealous and lashed out a bit, that's all. Talk to him, reassure him but also tell him that what he said wasn't cool and that you did nothing to warrant that reaction
Good luck op!
She ruined my friendships and she gave me nothing on valentines she said she's knitting me smth but I saw nothing Why should I give her anything and I'm broke
You're right, I should just ask her. Even if shes upset at least it'll give clarity.
It's intended to be a compliment, no doubt, but you shouldn't take her opinion too seriously. I doubt she has much practical knowledge of what makes for a good husband.
Sorry you wrote all that but I am not reading any of it because op is an AH commenting like an AH. He’s on his own
You’re not responsible for fixing his problems for you. He doesn’t love you enough to not cheat, he knew what he was doing. Cheating is a choice. I wouldn’t hold my breath on him staying in therapy long. Therapy isn’t easy; he has to do the work, no one will do it for him. Maybe take a break and if he does well in therapy try again?
Getting coffee as friends is fine. But he's married, so best just remain friends.
It matters to me because I love the girl and I never broke up with her, of course it’s going to affect me when she’s spreading lies,
An alcoholic. She’s a raging alcoholic. Binge drinking is still alcoholism when it affects your duties of daily living
I’ve seen hundreds of post on Reddit of guys bashing women who get “fake boobs” and it never fails to be ridiculous. They’ll all be in a chorus saying “it looks fake and I hate it!”
Yet, the problem with that is it’s only the ones that truly look fake that they’re criticizing while using generic language to describe ALL fake boobs. It’s confirmation bias; “all the fake boobs I see must look bad/fake therefore all fake boobs are bad”.
Probably 90% of the fake boobs redditors have seen “in the wild” they didn’t know they were fake. Yet they’ve created a negative stigma that’s perpetuated on this site. I’ve criticized someone for confirmation bias before in a similar discussion on this subreddit on an old account and got downvoted to hell.
It’s a toxic trait people seem proud of. I dated a woman for a while and had no idea she’d had a boob job. She told me one day and I was like “cool” and then we had sex and went about our night.
Your boyfriend is probably around a lot of echo chambers feeding him these opinions and telling him to hate all fake stuff and yet he doesn’t even know how to identify it. It reminds me of the Dave Chapelle bit where there’s a blind guy who is a racist but he doesn’t know he’s black and then he finds out and divorces his wife for her being a “n-word” lover.
Find someone who is living in reality and not clinging to biases and asinine beliefs that are shaping his reality rather than reality shaping his beliefs.
Yeah it’s not ideal it. I think he’s a genuinely nice guy. Apologies if it triggered you. I’m human and I have made mistakes, I’m just honest.
thank you
He didn’t change. You both have different needs and wants and they are not lining up. You’ve already talked about what needs to change and nothing changed. Is there anything he asked you to do/not do? It sounds like you’d both be happier in different relationships. But if you think that’s incorrect you could always have an open convo and really talk about what a healthy relationship looks like to both of you and what both of you need to feel cared about. Love languages are a thing
So as long as he says the words you will believe anything?
Does he do things that violate his values? It’s a trick question because he doesn’t and if he did, he doesn’t have the conviction of his own beliefs.
I don't really have any close female friends that aren't relatives, but in general Emma hasn't been a jealous person.
thank you. i tried being friends and forgave him because j thought we would have a genuine friendship but he is avoiding me because he says he was a failure in our relationship after we broke up
Would a person still get an ego boost if they have to initiate 7/10 times? Most of the times it's her who reaches out.