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your little Ghost, ❤, 19 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms your little Ghost, ❤
Date: November 2, 2022
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If you can't trust him to not pee on your things, you can't trust him with a baby. Honestly, you can't trust him with much if he is peeing on stuff.
I wouldn't normally offer this kind of advice but… This is the RED FLAG of all red flags. Nothing, and I mean nothing good will come of this relationship if you stay in it. This attitude is almost always a precursor to abuse.
Dating comes before being boyfriend/girlfriend and you dont bring someone you are dating to Christmas.
This thread and subreddit for that matter is filled with fresh wounds, trauma and heart break. I’m not denying that. I’ve had my fair share. It’s nearly impossible to make good long term decisions when in that state of mind. I punch in every now and again with the intention to help slow things down, look at it differently and try to offer up advice that isn’t impulsive. OP states “so be it” if she wants revenge. And that’s what’s fucked up about the world. A never ending cycle of reactionary revenge justified by misery. What if we broke the cycle?
Also it's more about feeding someone false information to make them question their sanity.
Oh. My. God. You say you feel like you can't take another second of this shot. DO. NOT. Take another second of this shit!!
He is totally gaslighting you to make you feel like you shouldn't have these feelings, and you shouldn't need what you need from him. Well, from a marriage. Because you are never going to get what you need from him.
I am speaking from experience. When I met my first husband, I had had a very weird and disturbing experience with friends of mine who I did not know were swingers. I was very young (not a minor, but not far from it,) and they had been grooming me and I had no idea. When I tried talking to my then-boyfriend about it, he got all excited thinking I was into it.
As I said, I was very young so his reaction made me question whether my ideas of marriage and sexuality were actually the norm or if I just had a Little House on the Prairie view of life.
Anyway, that entire relationship was fraught with the things you describe. Although his extracurricular activities weren't traceable because we did not have the technology available to you today, I know they existed. And I know exactly what you mean by the constant barrage of “hints” and the demoralizing. How nothing was ever good enough because it was only with me. And if I wanted any semblance of any kind of non-sexual life experience, like travel, or even my second child, I was always told in a circumspect way that it was quid pro quo.
We could have more of the things I wanted, if he had more of what he wanted. I know how it all made me feel so I am telling you get out. Get out now. I “loved” my husband too, and the marriage ended with his death from cancer. I took excellent and loving care of him during the last two years of his life, which I don't regret; but I do regret having been put in that position for so long, and not setting clear and distinct boundaries from the beginning.
I've been married for almost 19 years to a man who has only ever expressed that I am beyond good enough for him, and has never even once mentioned the idea of sex with someone else. Unfortunately, this marriage, too, will end with cancer, but I won't regret a minute of it.
She said she did the chores on his list, but didn’t do all of them (there were three on the list.)
Happy birthday from Arkansas bless you
but i also don’t want to give up on our relationship or my dream
You can't have both. You and him do not have the same future goals, you're not compatible, this isn't going to work out long term, etc.
You are not wrong. He is not wrong. Your future is not together. Decide how long you want to drag this on for.
I think that was intentional so she would get the validation she’s so desperate for. What’s the word for that – unhinged? ?
Good for your MIL. I have tolerance for a lot in relationships but cheating is not one. Any partner of mine who cheats no matter how long or short is immediately out!
It’s ILLEGAL to drive drunk. There is NO safe way to drive drunk because your senses are impaired. Your decision making skills are impaired. Your reactions are impaired.
You said it yourself, you convinced her to break up with her girlfriend and have ignored her sexual identity unless it suited you to get threesomes.
Just the way I said. “I'm a grown man now and I'm uncomfortable with you tickling me, so please stop.” Say it in a big-boy voice and seriousness.
I read “buy a new boyfriend” ?
“Dad, I just wanted you to know Fiance and I are moving in together into an apartment soon. I'm going to be picking up the keys on x day. I'd love to have you and mom over for dinner once we are settled!”
Tell him and then extend the invitation for him to come see it for himself like an olive branch.
My first wife had this problem. It's called dyspareunia. There could be a number of reasons why she is experiencing pain during intercourse. She should be evaluated by her gynecologist.
I want that to be true, but it has been 5 months and nothing changed. I just keep thinking of her and me. Then this guy coming back and stealing her.
Very true, i will say though that her mom didn’t actually know what she was lying about. My wife had told her she was planning a surprise and when i overheard her on the phone she said lied and said it was with her. So unfortunately her mother believed she was lying for good reason.
Maybe he doesn't buy anything because she controls it all?
Honestly, it sounds to me like their cultural ideas and bigotry is so ingrained in them they've already made up their minds. There is nothing your BF can do to change their opinion of him. They hate South Asian people, so they hate him.
I just wouldn't mention your bf to them. Keep your family on a strict info diet while you're away at college. Give short answers to their questions and don't go into too much detail. Don't tell them anything you KNOW will upset them. The more they know about your life, the more they'll try to use that information as leverage to control you.
Basically, keep them at arm's length. For your emotional safety.
Are you a gracious winner or a dick about it? If you’re a dick about it, learn to be gracious because that’s a problem.
If someone can’t handle loosing a game to someone whose gracious, you shouldn’t want to date them. If you’re arrogant about winning, that’s a strong point towards you being undatable.
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I guess that's possible too, hadn't crosses my mind yet. But why share only that video after she hadn't been for 2 weeks?
What are you supposed to do? Leave. It's the only answer.
Ok I respect her right to a quiet house and he shouldn’t have involved the ex, but it’s his right to do a DNA test, he doesn’t need her consent or an earful about how “he doesn’t trust her”, she’s asking him to rear this child for 18years
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how do you know she's developing romantic feelings; did she tell you?
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If you would answer the one question everyone keeps asking maybe you'd get more helpful feedback. Are you 30 or are you 23. And when you said your “of” had an abortion did you mean gf?
Exactly. Presented alike it was some revelation when it’s been right there for 8 years.
the amount of upvotes on this comment is concerning. sex is supposed to feel good, full stop.
Did you personally see the message? Send her the texts anonymously and let her deal with her husband and no one will be blamed but her husband
Glad my comment had some value for you, OP. Your reply brought two things to mind.
A young lady my wife mentored during her tumultuous teens (her mother was a heroin addict stemming from an initial addiction to opioids after an accident) told us how she didn't really learn how to drive until after she got her license and could drive on her own. Before she got her license, it was always the person in the passenger seat telling her what she needed to do. After she got her license, she had to rely on herself to navigate the road and that's when she truly learned how to drive.
Secondly, I grew up in a small town and had the same dreams of seeing what life outside my small town had to offer. A few months shy of my 25th birthday, I did get out and it worked out well for me. I do find myself navigating back to small towns, however. My family still lives in a small town and I bought a cabin in the woods and spend a ton of time there and have forged invaluable friendships with several people from the neighboring tiny town.
Before I left the nest, though, I had both a job and a place to online lined up. I didn't possess enough of an adventurer's spirit to just jump in a car and see where life would take me.
Don't let your dreams wither and die on the vine, OP. I recently turned 60 and a while back I sat down and answered one basic question: How well did I do in fulfilling the dreams I had for my life as a small boy? I had to admit that I fared well with some of those dreams but failed with others.
One day you'll look back in a similar manner, OP. I invite you now to think of the dreams you had as a 10 yr old girl and with every decision you make and every action you take both now and in the future, ask yourself if you're making progress on fulfilling those dreams…or are you one day gonna look back and see disappointment in that 10 yr old girl's face?
You got this, OP. Stay strong and know there's a 60 yr old dude out there that you'll never meet who believes in you and is praying for you! Make the 10 yr old you smile!
End the fwb's situation and look to move out and DO NOT have sex with him again. You need to stay away from him and start distancing from him emotionally. I personally wouldn't want to be around him alone and I wouldn't talk to him unless you have to. Start going out with friends and start living your life. Treat him like an acquaintance
Thank you! It was definitely one sided. yesterday when we spoke he told me I never reached out to him recently, but a few months back, I told him it hurts every time I see him and “can’t have him” that I don’t understand why he keeps coming back and he said he likes hanging with me but doesn’t want anything serious and I shouldn’t wait around for him. So how can he tell me yesterday that I never reached out to him to make plans when he has stated not once but multiple times that I shouldn’t wait around for him?
This should’ve ended in April of last year when I told him we should split but he still kept feeding me breadcrumbs and I took it and it got to the point that it is right now.
I think my worst nightmare was him meeting someone else before me and here it is. Before that, I still “had him” there. This whole situation is a literal nightmare right now, I need to get my head in a good space
DO NOT go back to your ex. The reasons you ended it are still there. He might pretend to change but without therapy and working at it, he will slide back to bad behaviors. This is already manifesting by his refusing “to agree that we aren’t together anymore”. Tell him emphatically that you are NOT together and you're going to date the new guy. Go be happy.
I would never sleep with a prostiute. Too many diseases
Sending a message to ignore this if it’s unwanted is not “demanding her story.”
First off, talk to him. You have to tell him how you feel and why you're hesitating. If he thinks he will lose you because of sex, maybe he will be more open trying. Or try counseling and see if there is a root reason for his lack of sex/desire. And go read the r/deadbedrooms. It's full of people who are married to others that stopped wanting sex so much or just never really wanted it. Yes, sex isn't the whole part of the relationship but it's still a part and for it to be non existent does not sound like something you should settle on. Then adding kids to the mix could make it that much worse. I would start with a conversation with him and then depending on that, ve preparedness walk away. You want someone all encompassing! This is coming drop someone who was married for 12 years in a sexless marriage. My ex cheating on me was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I'm so much happier and my sex life is amazing!
You can order abortion pills online for free or low cost, depending on how far along you are.
You don't have the luxury of time rn, call your mom and friends, grab your important documents and get out of there
I agree, in some regard I know that I just need it verified. I'm trying really naked to get help.
Just so you know, you can online and work together and he can still secretly cheat. He's already having an emotional affair.
There's a device on Amazon called Addalock you can get that's great for travel too. You can basically use it to create a deadbolt on any door.
I hadn’t thought about the other side of the coin of that bad the possibility of being overwhelmed or not being able to objectively process or even assist how I imagine I would be. Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention ❤️ The more I receive everyone’s responses here and particular with your mention of stressors with everyday life—I feel even more inclined toward more seriously pursuing therapy of my own.
Home Depot isn’t a thing where I online! And Bunnings always has the best locks hehe
I agree on the pov thing, she really doesn't understand what a friend is, she thinks a guy from tinder that shes kissed & went on dates with is a friend just because she doesn't like him
So glad you’re out. How good did that first real cotton t-shirt feel on your skin? The idea of your life with her got you through a massive challenge that would break most people. I’m sorry she moved on but there are so many possibilities for you now. I hope you can ease back into life out here. Be easy.
Oh my god. Just break up. You've managed to become a bigger asshole than the person who cheated.
Taking it personally and taking it as a personal attack are not quite the same thing. Related, but also different.
He doesn't satisfy you in bed. He's a selfish partner. Any man who doesn't care about your satisfaction is a man you don't waste your time with. It's one thing of they are willing to learn what you like. It's another when they wham bam thank you ma'am.
You're better off without him. He also called you a waste of time. That's just nasty a hurtful. There's no coming back from that. There are better men out there. Sex is about mutual satisfaction, not only one person's. There are men that will make sure you're satisfied. They actually enjoy satisfying the woman they are with.
Take some time to yourself. Go for lots of walks with your dog. Dogs always make us feel better, don't they? If there's anything of his at your house, box it up and leave it on the porch when he comes to pick it up. Don't answer the door. Don't talk to him ever again. Block him everywhere. Life is too short to spend it in an unhappy relationship.
Your wife is an awful human being. Irredeemable.
If you stay with her you are enabling her
Why are you staying committed to a woman who isn’t committed to you? This makes no sense.
She doesn’t respect you. She constantly cheats on you. She lied to you.
If you stay in the marriage, this will keep happening. Nothing is going to change unless you divorce her.
OP, it may get worse once you have kids.
OP, it will absolutely 100% get worse once you have kids. There's never been a controlling abusive man that is magically healed once the kid gets popped out. Even during your pregnancy, I can 100% promise you that he's not gonna show you any mercy. The fact that you're now carrying his child changes nothing for the better.
I’m getting at the apparent lack of understanding of what is, at least clear to me, a trauma response. Would OP, care to elaborate more on that? Is the bf hung up on this girl and her AP, does the bf have other rage issues, is this indicative of a larger problem? Was the affair recent? How many years ago was he cheated on? This is all relevant. Or is OP the unempathetic one?
Op would you consider an open relationship? I was in a similar position and tried it out and it went great
You had me at “cheats on me with other people” at point #2. Yes, it counts if they have the same genitalia. Good for you, run far far away.
Yes, they always do that. Telling people to blow up their lives due to morality without thinking through the consequences. OP doesn't have any obligation to get involved, she just needs to walk away.
Thank you very much you are so kind
What’s the point of even being on here if you’re going to doubt unusual stories? A guy cheating isn’t even that crazy.
He CHEATED on you. The relationship isn’t as good as you think it is.
I think she heard you when you would discuss her problematic behavior, she simply didn't care about your needs or feelings enough to change anything.
She emotionally manipulated and controlled you seemingly your entire relationship, to the point where you literally stopped living life in fear of making her “sad”. That's emotional abuse in my opinion.
She's an adult and she cries about you going out with your mates. She didn't do that because she's sooo deeply in love with you, she does that stuff because its her way of maintaining complete control of you.
I hope you regain your self respect and stop feeling guilty for ending such an abusive relationship. You deserve to move on and enjoy your life again.
Yeah it breaks my heart every day. I wish I could be the one to save her, but to save her I would be killing myself. It makes me extremely sad about it all.
“And you’re ugly, so what are we gonna do here?”
Fuck off
He definitely crossed some boundaries tonight. At the very least, this was a weird, awkward experience. At worst, it sounds like sexual assault. I'm leaning towards the latter since he held you down. Sit him down and make him aware of what exactly he did. He may be aware or he may not. Not sure which is worse tbh.
Exactly. If the son was the one instigating, this entire post would be about how he harasses them, argues, and generally won't stop fighting with them
Maybe she was nervous and afraid to walk away before you stepped in?
I don't think she will leave you. Just keep on reinforcing positive things and being a stable and loving figure in her life . Show her you won't abandon her, even if the sabotaguing parts within herself try to push. She is used to be tough all the time but you can help show her that she doesn't need to be alone when she is with you.
Focus on fun times too, its important to alleviate the pressure. Go out on some casual dates together (theme park, zoo, etc), you need to enjoy the good times too when you're going through the tough ones.
It doesn't actually matter what the kink was. You could say, “I'm interested in being tied up tonight.” As soon as you said “nevermind, I drank too much” that earlier discussion no longer counts. Your boyfriend didn't forget that you revoked your consent. He didn't actually care that he hurt you. He cares that he got caught and might have to face some consequences. He raped you. That's why you feel so bad. He violated you when you were at your most vulnerable. If there was room for doubt or a “gray area,” he shouldn't have touched you. His pleasure was worth all of this distress that you're currently going through. Plenty of rapists are very sweet and caring after the fact, which confuses their victims. Being apologetic or kind doesn't override the rape or assault.
Break up and tell people you trust. Call a hotline if you don't feel comfortable talking to people you know. This wasn't your fault.
MORE THAN A YEAR?
This is definitely not a one time thing.
This is a deep rooted toxic codependency. Idk why he would even answer his phone calls from her, he’s just giving her more in’s to behave like this.
Wtf is wrong with you??
You’re in an abusive relationship. Call the police and report your car stolen and get rid of this woman.
Report your car as stolen and see how you can go about moving to on-campus dorms. You need to get out of this relationship. You're isolated from your family. It sounds like you got groomed by your older sister's friend. You're living together and she hit you, left you alone, and would likely expect you to apologize when she comes back. Love is not enough to hold a relationship together. Research abusive relationships and grooming and see what applies to you. Try to be logical instead of emotional or defensive. None of this is healthy or okay.
you didnt care then because you had just started dating and wasnt so attached. now youve been together 8 entire years, and youre emotionally very intertwined so it makes sense that only now it hurts. its called retroactive jealousy. your feelings make sense, and youre allowed to have those feelings, but its also good that you remember she didnt do anything wrong. both those things can be true at once – you dont have to invalidate one of them to validate the other. id just give it some time, work through those feelings with her, and make sure you reiterate to both her and you that you know she didnt do anything.
you didnt care then because you had just started dating and wasnt so attached. now youve been together 8 entire years, and youre emotionally very intertwined so it makes sense that only now it hurts. its called retroactive jealousy. your feelings make sense, and youre allowed to have those feelings, but its also good that you remember she didnt do anything wrong. both those things can be true at once – you dont have to invalidate one of them to validate the other. id just give it some time, work through those feelings with her, and make sure you reiterate to both her and you that you know she didnt do anything.
I’m always shocked/confused by posts like this. You broke up with him because he wouldn’t plan for a “future” but you both actively tried to get pregnant? You broke up 4 days ago and he want NC and you’re suddenly pregnant?
Honestly it all sounds a little suspect to me. Are you sure you’re pregnant?
Ok
You say you had to basically beg for sex. Do you mean you coerced her into sex? That you nagged her until she gave in to stop you from harassing her? Because that's rape
I wouldn’t do it. Can you not just memorise what it says and convey that instead?
I get what your saying. But where is the line drawn in terms of revealing personal information. I have some other things about myself that I would never tell her but would certainly change her perception of me. Everyone withholds information I think, for the sake of others emotions, and to keep their image not too damaged.
I promise you, you're wrong. She will find out. You vastly underestimate how hot it is to keep a secret of this magnitude.
I know that it seems like an impossibility, right now. But I ask, if she ended up being your long term gf, and this moved into marriage, do you genuinely want to have this bomb strapped to your back for the rest of your life?
It's up to you, ultimately. But recognize that the choices you make at this point in your life are very telling of the personality that you'll evolve into tomorrow. And dishonesty in romantic relationships is absolute poison.
We have addressed what went wrong in the relationship before. We were both willing to admit what we could’ve done better on our parts. I’ve made significant improvements in my financial situation, which I felt personally was the main issue that was affecting me. She feels she wants to work on herself to be better for me, and she thinks that she has a bit. But those nasty feelings of distrust still linger, I don’t get how I can distrust someone for something that happened outside the relationship. I don’t want to feel like that.
I’m thinking him getting out of a ten year relationship and choosing someone 14 years younger is more of a red flag than the actual age gap alone.
Some people can’t stand seeing others happy and doing well I’d close the door on this one for sure
No, this is harassment. If she comes back again, go to the police and tell them what she’s doing. It’s unacceptable.
This is good advice. She has shown she will never be a good rational life partner. End it and find someone who has a plan like you. Future you will be very thankful. I came within an inch of doing what you are thinking about. Her mental health was crap. She had zero ambition and she wanted babies. I dipped and went to grad school without her. Found the real love of my life. Had kids much later and life is great. She has 2 baby daddies and works low end counseling living pay check to pay check.
“I felt seen”
Wtf dude listen to this man. She needed another man to “feel seen”. You ain’t enough and you never will be. Next time it’ll be a dude closer to her age that’s really charming, and now she knows to make sure you don’t know a damn thing about it. Until she leaves you for him of course.
You’ve gotta move on man. I know you won’t; but she’s admitted to lying right to your face to do what she wants, and completely manipulated you. She has no morals, and she knows that better dudes will come along. All you’ve done is given her a blueprint for what to avoid next time it happens.
Thank you so much for your response. It has made me think quite naked. Last week we were skiing and laughing and happy. I can’t imagine he won’t feel something at some point of this break. I might just be too highly emotional for him.
Yes I am also pretty mad he chooses now to look for a job, I wish I understood his thought process at all ?
I don’t know man I see the complications. For one you don’t want to deal with that again and just want a normal stress free relationship with someone who you don’t have to worry about them harming or killing themselves but you also care for this girl and didn’t know she had these problems when you started dating her. It’s also very hot because “I’m leaving you because I don’t want to deal with this mental illness shit again” makes you look and feel like a total asshole but your not you just want someone stable. You don’t online close to her and the relationship is still young I would seriously consider ending it because yea her mental health is important but so is yours! It’s time to put yourself first. You aren’t an asshole for wanting someone stable.
You do not need to be wasting your time with this guy, end it and find someone who will move heaven and earth to make sure you are loved and heard.
Well there’s never a good time to tell someone you supposedly love that you cheated on them. If you want to have a chance to truly make this right you need to come clean. I would be devastated that all it took for you to ruin our marriage was some attention.
If him being with another person is hurtful to you, I'd say you're not ready to have a friendship with him, which is totally normal and reasonable! A lot of exes aren't able to be friends despite how much they care about each other, simply because it is painful to see them moving on with other romantic partners. The most loving and caring thing you can do for yourself and for him is to let him go and online his life, while you live yours.