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Messy deepthroat [Multi Goal]
Date: November 3, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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You are responsible for your life, not hers. This relationship isn't just not working it is causing you harm. End the relationship and move on with your life. You aren't responsible for helping her cope with a break-up or anything else.
You’re living there for a few months. You’re married to this family for a lot longer. Suck it up for now and it’ll go a long way toward family harmony.
We broke up and it was fine but she kept wanting to be friends and shit, and I told her no but eventually gave in. Then after awhile I essentially said to fuck off and stop contacting me because it was just making the whole situation harder for me. Then she went on to tell her entire residence that I was Bi-Polar that I screamed at her at a party. I followed her around. Non of which true the last time I saw her at a party she yelled at me and I just walked away which I think made her more upset.
I told my new ex GF all of this and her parents didn't really have any of it as they trusted my old exs parents even though they themselves are awful people. Just is very frustrating.
The friend is single and everyone knows about his extra curricular activities, so it’s not that. He also always pays back the money in full. I mean there could be some sinister arrangement between them, who knows. At this point the photos my partner took, tell a very different story to the one he has told. Whether he kept his pants on or off, paid for it, didn’t pay for it, the story is bad enough and it’s crossed a line for me. The sub has helped me look for more answers which I found, otherwise I was prepared to take his story at face value
Your right. I beat pretty much all the odds at this point. I used to sleep in my car when I got kicked out at 15. Worked a crappy job and went to school. No one ever thought I’d amount to anything. When I was in a coma, I scored a 3 on the Glasgow scale. They told my parents I’d be a vegetable, and would need 24 hour care in a nursing facility for the rest of my life. If I was somewhat cognitive I’d be wheelchair-bound or bedridden for the rest of my life. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Thanks for your words of encouragement, although shocking to hear from unbiased individuals, this allows me to see things as they are. I will post an edit with an update, I’ve got appointments scheduled with the new psych and therapist next week. I will speak about my drinking habits. They were previously aware, but again I became non-compliant. We have a family lawyer, but that will create a conflict of interest. I’ll find someone, and start documenting things, our conversations, and I feel like journaling my experience today was more therapeutic than vodka. I let out a lot of emotions, anxiety and fear today. Instead of feeling invisible and silent, I feel heard, and seen.
Thanks for allowing me to be vulnerable here.
It’s gonna take me a while, but I will get there.
Divorce
Your wife just brought up a HUGE change to your given relationship and is calling you “close-minded” and “dramatic.”
Neither of your responses: no, I don't want an open marriage; or, if this is your need we should take a break- are close-minded or dramatic. Those are two reasonable responses. For the record, if this is how she communicates with you, your marriage won't survive being “opened” esp. when it's really about her wanting to be with a former love.
Because of her response to your response, you are both now in a shitty situation of her creation. She agrees to drop the open marriage aspect, but you will wonder about cheating or if she's miserable/ you go along with her and you are miserable.
Your solution- a temporary split (which is really just the separation before the divorce usually)- is probably the right path.
Moving with someone to a strange country where you are a foreigner usually tells you a lot about your marriage. Now you know.
I made that first concession just to highlight the fact that he works in a male-dominated field, saturated with a lot of intelligent, likeminded men, so his opinion is likely influenced by that—not to say that women are incapable of/unlikely to pursue a career in STEM, or that men should be granted a free pass to say whatever they want if they work in STEM.
Saying that his commentary is seemingly inconsequential is just that. It appears to be trivial, because he didn’t outright say that every woman is dumb, inferior, etc., and nothing else in his past behavior suggests that he believes that, but the implications of what he said may be more troubling. That’s why I posted here!
ETA: He’s wholly supportive of my studies in law school, so I don’t think he’s as backward or old fashioned as you believe him to be with the knitting major stuff haha
I made that first concession just to highlight the fact that he works in a male-dominated field, saturated with a lot of intelligent, likeminded men, so his opinion is likely influenced by that—not to say that women are incapable of/unlikely to pursue a career in STEM, or that men should be granted a free pass to say whatever they want if they work in STEM.
Saying that his commentary is seemingly inconsequential is just that. It appears to be trivial, because he didn’t outright say that every woman is dumb, inferior, etc., and nothing else in his past behavior suggests that he believes that, but the implications of what he said may be more troubling. That’s why I posted here!
ETA: He’s wholly supportive of my studies in law school, so I don’t think he’s as backward or old fashioned as you believe him to be with the knitting major stuff haha
I wonder how old she was when they first met.
I think the issue is lack of communication. You should have talked to her husband before buying such an elaborate gift. It might not be a luxury car but it’s still a brand new freaking ride, not exactly cost effective for most right now.
You saw a need for someone who you feel you owe your whole life to and have the ability to be generous in your appreciation. That’s an amazing thing, but to her husband comes across as something much more. Does he know the nature of your relationship? Has he had issues with it? Would he have any reason to believe that either of you aren’t being completely transparent? These are all questions you may not know the answer to from outside of their relationship. My guess is that husband feels emasculated here.
I’m a single mom and have had my struggles. My parents would never even loan me so much as $100 to feed my kids or keep my lights on when times were tough. I couldn’t even imagine if anyone bought me a beater car for my birthday, let alone a brand new one. It sounds to me like you really do view your friend as family, and didn’t have any nefarious intent here. But can you see how her husband might feel differently? For such a big purchase communication is vital. You are essentially telling him that he can’t provide but you can and he feels upstaged, even if you didn’t intend it that way. You may have been able to come to a compromise and you both could have split the cost somehow on a newer used car instead of a brand new one and he wouldn’t be so, rightfully, suspicious.
Being married should not, ever, be an end goal to a relationship. There should not be pressure from either side. It's literally just a piece of paper. If the reason you are in a relationship is to ultimately get married the relationship is effectively doomed.
The only reason you should ever be with someone is because they enrich your life, hopefully in multiple ways. Love and companionship are what it's about. Getting married or even just engaged is just an extension and display of that, not the reason for it.
Presumably you knew he was in the military when you got together, so you can't blame him for being not physically being there. You also can't blame him for your living conditions, as you made those choices and are continuing to make them.
So the question is this: is being with him worth it? Forget about marriage. If it happens it happens but there is no ticking clock or requirements there. You are not your friends and you are not in their relationships. But without the idea of marriage, is being with him worth it? That's a question only you can answer.
He said it like the latter, thank you!!
Noted. I'm just trying to be patient and understanding and put in the effort. I figure once things smooth out, she won't be do intense.
You keep bringing it up. Stop bringing it up. You told him how you feel, leave it at that. If they start dating you will have to back off and not see him as regularly. At this point they are just talking. Let him decide.
Some therapy might benefit her if that’s how she is feeling. None of it is your fault. So try not to feel too down. Just give it some time. Two months might also be too fast for her. Ask her more questions and what you can do to help once you get the chance to. If you really think she is here for the long haul that is.
I'd mention it to her, to minimize the shock of the unveiling at a public venue. This will sting, and I'm sure she'd like to tend to her wounds in private. The only reason I say this is that the two of you are still in business together, so there's definitely need for courtesy
Why would you even do that ?♀️
That was stupid. Twins typically don't like it when they are compared to each other, especially in the way you did it. You will be lucky if you still have a girlfriend.
This was my thought regarding cheating. I usually see this mindset from repeated real/perceived rejection for being a shitty person. They started dating when he was around 19. My guess is he probably tried to branch out once quarantine hit and meeting live!, which then became the norm, creates a veil of fake confidence, and still couldn’t find anyone interested in him. This is a lot of assumption based on bias on my part though since I saw this happen quite a bit in my adjacent social circles.
I mean, does this bother you? I wouldn’t put my life on hold for them but if you’re not losing out what’s the problem?
I don't see anything wrong with that behavior personally. It's better to let your partner know in advance about these kinds of things because otherwise they may get the wrong idea once the see it on accident.
This is all very true 🙁 thank you
Girl where is your self esteem..I'm not seeing it anywhere
My cousin was doing something stupid like this. So his girlfriend swapped the hand cream with jalapeño dip. Don’t do that, it is illegal. Drop the A
21 and 24 or 11 and 14??
Yeah this is a waste of your time
If this is not rare it's a very teenage thing to do
Me personally I see nothing wrong with that. However, that is just me. You have every single right to define your own boundaries. If you truly don't like it and don't want a relationship where it happens make that a boundary of yours and talk to him.
“Hey, before we talk anymore, I have to ask: are you still married?”
You got this!
So you are not ok with being in a Polly relationship, told your partner your not ok with it, and are being told to basicly “suck it up.” Because HE wants it to be the new normal.
You get to say no and walk away. It's likely he's already doing things on the side, is feeling guilty but wants to keep doing that but now with “permission”.
Asking forgiveness rather then permission. Is past tacky. Get yourself an SDT/STI Test and make sure you partner didn't give you anything before asking to open your relationship.
As soon as your partner hits you, it’s over. You never hit someone you love. This pos doesn’t love you. Judge by his actions not his professed love
Many long distance relationships have problems surviving. And I think the reason you argued is because you guys aren’t that comfortable in person. It may be time to rethink whether this is a relationship at all. At least a romantic one that you couldn’t get involved with an settle down into I don’t believe it is.
Goddamn people are so stupid…
Wait for November 19th, then get really mad she didn't wish you a happy men's day.
Thank you, I’ll do this
Normal to feel but get over it. Most large guys never learn how to use it right. Just give it time.
I'm just echoing what others have said, but it sounds like he had a manic episode.
Major ups and downs in a month……..???
If HE said he wants a vasectomy nobody would tell him no. I was simply answering someone who said he needs to. He doesn’t need to do anything. He never mentioned he WANTED a vasectomy. But the doctor will tell him to consider it permanent when he does. Redditors throw around vasectomy like it’s easily reversible, no big deal. That’s not the case. I was told I was too young for tubal ligation when I was 19 having my second child. I didn’t FLIP the fuck out and get all offended. The doctor said it and he was right. I did want a child with my 2nd husband and we had him when I was 21.
No one cares, still not up to you. You could've seen your daughter had you gone to the hospital instead of going to bed, but of course you can't take any blame.
Do not underestimate the risk you are in here. A divorce and child custody battle could rage against you despite her behavior. Do nothing. Interview a few lawyers. Make a plan. Prepare for battle. Play to win.
This or some exercise in creative writing.
Keep the dog; dump the guy. You won't regret it.
Why isn't he your ex?
Dude sounds overly difficult
I think he knows, plus my gf follows pretty much what i said even though when i said i don't want to be controlling she kept improvising herself to be a better person for me thus proving she's a nice gf. She also doesn't let anyone other than me touch her. I took most of her first time, I'm also her first bf and we can relate to most of the stuff. She wasn't treated nicely and i wasn't appreciated by my acquaintance. So no i don't think she has someone else behind my back.
May be he is content to be with you
Jesus Christ. Leave this manipulative, abusive man-child immediately. Lots of people have trauma and manage to not act like pieces of shit. That is no excuse. It doesn’t matter if he “doesn’t like it”, he needs to act like a fucking adult and get treated for his issues. Do not under any circumstances marry this person.
It’s not your fault if you have more charisma than she does, and if she’s jealous she needs to grow up and work on being more interesting instead of asking you to be less of a draw. Boring people are a dime a dozen, and it’s on her to not be one, not on you to join her if her own friends find her mediocre.
With severe body odor you have to wash the body and change clothes daily.
Sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. Disengage yourself from any part of her life, no matter how difficult it will potentially be.
You and your son need to get out of this situation. It's terrible for you both. I'm sorry but you're making your son grow up in this environment where your husband and your ex are both at each other's throats and your husband is bullying you. It's clearly scaring the hell out of him and he can't change anything about it so you have to. Put your son first.
Think she kinda lost the right to “communicating before acting” when she disappeared without a word & posted videos fucking someone else
Have you talked to son about your concerns? Like, asking questions or making statements such as “I noticed [x] and we're concerned about it because we noticed [y]”.
What about asking what your son might need? While you don't have to keep giving him 100, where could that funding go for something like, idk, therapy.
Good, she sounds like a piece of shit anyways. If you’re looking for reasons to stay with her or love her then you’re probably even a bigger chump then her
A rich girl hates poor people? What a shocker.