TBH she’s being normal and healthily expressing her needs and boundaries and you’re being controlling in response. You’re overthinking and being a bit too clingy. In response to her expressing her needs or a boundary you keep saying “I understand that BUT…” then you illustrate that you don’t understand with your next sentence. If she doesn’t want to hang out sometimes that’s okay and she should be able to express that without you taking it as an a-front to you.
This is a massive red flag. You cannot continue this relationship. He lost control, it will happen again. The tape dispenser could have hit you in the eye.
He intended to rape you. Drugging you takes away your ability to consent. It doesn't matter that it didn't work. Not only that but it could have triggered a seizure, and given that him drugging you would have caused it, it's likely he would have been unwilling to call for help.
He broke up with me but only after I told him I deserve a definitive answer and I'm just stressed out because we have financial responsibilities that would leave me completely bankrupt. He's completely disregarding my calls and texts and is putting me in a bad place. I'm not even calling to get back together.
I think where confusion comes from is that he was using toothless to describe the woman. You are not toothless. You said hot guy, and in this context, you're using hard to describe the guy. Making it sound like you're saying he's not hot.
You could have said something like “well I'm gonna go fuck a guy without balls!” Which I'm guessing he does have balls. Then it would have been the same thing. What you said and what he said are not the same, both are bad but not the same.
But I totally understand it rubbing you the wrong way. Like what partner says that they WILL go fuck someone else? Weird.
Oh sweetie, you reacted out of panic and social anxiety, that happens!
You honestly don’t have to do anything. Maybe block him if it makes you feel more comfortable.
This is really harmless so communicating it with your husband is not gonna hurt. But definitely practice saying no. Lots of strangers could actually be total psychos and you never know who you are giving your number to.
It's ok for him to experiment but stealing your clothes is not ok at all. He has to return the clothes or give you money to replace them. I just don't understand why he would steal your clothes rather than buying whatever he wants to try on.
Also I would recommend you to make sure he's not sending these videos to anyone.
You can shoot her a text and see if she wants to do something. You can also just send her a bunch of flirty text messages, Woman like compliments. You can just tell her you are very excited to see her again. You don't have to play it cool all the time. You guys should hang out as much as you guys want to. It's possible she's thinking the same things. This is also kind of adorable.
I'm truly sorry. Assuming this was well-planned, I suggest you also assume your STBXBF is two steps ahead of you.
Assume he knows what you saw. You were clever to pretend you saw nothing, and since you dread an emotional collapse in confrontation, I see no harm in keeping that pretense up throughout whatever comes next, but I doubt that he's been fooled.
Assume the videos no longer exist, and you'll be portrayed as a false accuser if you shop this (or any other) accusation around. Take no chances here – even if you only accuse him in complete privacy, Video Man could save it, intending to use it, or threaten to, as My Crazy Ex material.
Assume he will be cool as ice, so your emotional state will be held against you if you look for comfort and support from mutual friends. I'm afraid you'll have to find your comfort among those he's a virtual stranger to. Elsewhere, the mantle of victimhood stays in the closet.
Finally I'd pick the least gossip-worthy explanation for why and how it ended. A very slow-moving mutual loss of affection, ending in a sad but amicable farewell, should do it.
exactly! it's making it so that we KNOW we're together because of love, and wanting to be together. we're not staying together because it would be too hot to split up.
OP is so far ahead of herself it's funny. “Propose to me in 4 years or else!” hahaha
Your wife is already cheating on you emotionally, if not already physically. I am so sorry but you need to get an annulment or divorce.
Then she should leave
Such as?
I do idk why tho lol especially at night when it's cold I get the sudden urge to pee and I mean why not you just whip it out do your biz and bounce.
Date out
I think Reddit users aren’t used to getting laid…sand bang to get the queen
Nah man. She's nuts . Keep your weenie far away from this one. Karmas a bitch too so keep that in mind
Do you not realize how many men in their 30’s go for teens or….
TBH she’s being normal and healthily expressing her needs and boundaries and you’re being controlling in response. You’re overthinking and being a bit too clingy. In response to her expressing her needs or a boundary you keep saying “I understand that BUT…” then you illustrate that you don’t understand with your next sentence. If she doesn’t want to hang out sometimes that’s okay and she should be able to express that without you taking it as an a-front to you.
Projection of insecurities often manifests as hostility.
She's insecure about her own relationship age difference and is being a piece of shit about it instead of being an adult.
This is a massive red flag. You cannot continue this relationship. He lost control, it will happen again. The tape dispenser could have hit you in the eye.
He intended to rape you. Drugging you takes away your ability to consent. It doesn't matter that it didn't work. Not only that but it could have triggered a seizure, and given that him drugging you would have caused it, it's likely he would have been unwilling to call for help.
He needs to be in prison.
She’s the one that’s chosen to end the relationship. Just tell her tons of off. You don’t owe her any politeness anymore.
Being a bit tactful, maybe just tell her you’ll be paying her what your obligations are as I assume the children will be 50/50?
He broke up with me but only after I told him I deserve a definitive answer and I'm just stressed out because we have financial responsibilities that would leave me completely bankrupt. He's completely disregarding my calls and texts and is putting me in a bad place. I'm not even calling to get back together.
Jesus Christ.
You are the problem here.
I think where confusion comes from is that he was using toothless to describe the woman. You are not toothless. You said hot guy, and in this context, you're using hard to describe the guy. Making it sound like you're saying he's not hot.
You could have said something like “well I'm gonna go fuck a guy without balls!” Which I'm guessing he does have balls. Then it would have been the same thing. What you said and what he said are not the same, both are bad but not the same.
But I totally understand it rubbing you the wrong way. Like what partner says that they WILL go fuck someone else? Weird.
Thanks for the advice
Oh sweetie, you reacted out of panic and social anxiety, that happens!
You honestly don’t have to do anything. Maybe block him if it makes you feel more comfortable.
This is really harmless so communicating it with your husband is not gonna hurt. But definitely practice saying no. Lots of strangers could actually be total psychos and you never know who you are giving your number to.
You are adorable btw!
You’re so entitled.
It's ok for him to experiment but stealing your clothes is not ok at all. He has to return the clothes or give you money to replace them. I just don't understand why he would steal your clothes rather than buying whatever he wants to try on.
Also I would recommend you to make sure he's not sending these videos to anyone.
Don't let him cheat on you or steal from you.
You can shoot her a text and see if she wants to do something. You can also just send her a bunch of flirty text messages, Woman like compliments. You can just tell her you are very excited to see her again. You don't have to play it cool all the time. You guys should hang out as much as you guys want to. It's possible she's thinking the same things. This is also kind of adorable.
Good riddance, my dude!
Get yourself someone who won't treat you like a walking bank account
I'm truly sorry. Assuming this was well-planned, I suggest you also assume your STBXBF is two steps ahead of you.
Assume he knows what you saw. You were clever to pretend you saw nothing, and since you dread an emotional collapse in confrontation, I see no harm in keeping that pretense up throughout whatever comes next, but I doubt that he's been fooled.
Assume the videos no longer exist, and you'll be portrayed as a false accuser if you shop this (or any other) accusation around. Take no chances here – even if you only accuse him in complete privacy, Video Man could save it, intending to use it, or threaten to, as My Crazy Ex material.
Assume he will be cool as ice, so your emotional state will be held against you if you look for comfort and support from mutual friends. I'm afraid you'll have to find your comfort among those he's a virtual stranger to. Elsewhere, the mantle of victimhood stays in the closet.
Finally I'd pick the least gossip-worthy explanation for why and how it ended. A very slow-moving mutual loss of affection, ending in a sad but amicable farewell, should do it.
Are you in therapy?
Could you just call the number and see who answers male or female?
Hey. I left a comment about how to do a confrontation but it sounds like that may not be necessary given your look at the data on the pic?
exactly! it's making it so that we KNOW we're together because of love, and wanting to be together. we're not staying together because it would be too hot to split up.
OP is so far ahead of herself it's funny. “Propose to me in 4 years or else!” hahaha