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Gina, 21 y.o.
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Date: November 5, 2022
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I think you could probably just show this to him typed out or being it up in a way that says you enjoyed doing this. He thought you did it for him turns out you just want to take a swing at feeling sexy. he should understand that.
How was a 12 year old supposed to replace a person who is a legal adult now? I'm kind of hung up on that part.
Honestly its better to have the honest conversation with her that you think you might have feelings for him before they get in deeper and she develops stronger feelings for him. You have to be ready that she might react badly but it would be way worse if you secretly pined after someone she got serious with.
I would personally tell her how you feel but say that if she genuinely sees something real with this guy you'll back off but if there's a chance he may not be the one for her would it be okay if you pursued him. Then if she says back off, for the sake of your friendship do so.
You are disgusting. Not only is she ten years younger than you but she is also married unhappy or not stop being vile.
there have been many that didnt think that would be an issue, for the rest of their lives
You can't control him or how people react to him. What you can do is take care of yourself.
There's absolutely no point in letting yourself be dragged down by him. Do what it takes to keep yourself healthy. Maybe some of your family members will see that and follow your example.
Yeah, but you weren’t in her bedrooms and bathrooms looking thru drawers and cabinets creating “cut outfits”
I just want to know how a woman can manage to get herself and her children together for the schoolbus usually, but the dads always seem to have an issue with this piece of parenting. So women get almost everything together but maybe one or two things and dad Still can't finish this.
Thanks for the advice ?
Look I’m not saying that someone’s SO should go with them everywhere no matter the event, cuz I think everyone needs to be able to go to events alone, especially if those friends are not also his friends. But if you think it’s a weird dynamic for your 34 y/o bf to hang out with your younger friends, why isn’t a weird dynamic for a 34 y/o to date a 20 y/o? So he doesn’t have anything in common with your friends. What do YOU have in common with him being this far apart in age?
Uni is to set up your future not to have fun. Just stop with the excuses and actually consider the advice being given.
You don't need to provide a reason. Just call her, say “you're dumped and you know why” and move on.
Cause those girls would reject them irl so the closest they can get is IG. Although I know a few guys who hooked up with those IG girls but it never leads to anything cause they were either broke or didn’t have any industry connections.
Look man, people have sex and the virgin before marriage thing is not realistic. Is she faithful to you? Has anything happened until he relationship that would lead you to believe she would cheat? If not then I would resolve the insecurities and try to just move past it.
As long as it wasn’t an unhealthy coping mechanism, and she was responsible then there’s nothing to worry about. After all, a 23 year old girl with 5 previous partners is not even that much.
Because I don’t want to leave him and want to work it out that is why I am with him
how do i confront him though? apart from that we are really happy we communicate a lot and honestly i dont want to break up
Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean your life is over…it's only the beginning. You can be in a relationship and still be who you are and what you want to be. You can have friends and have your alone time. You can create a sanctuary in your apartment with him by designating a space for your alone time/mental clarity. You can be your individual self and still be in a relationship. It's called a healthy relationship and anything other than that is toxic.
Trust is earned. Not given. Trust is an integral part of a healthy relationship but if you freely trust someone you've only dated 4 months then you're setting yourself up for failure. The question isn't whether she can tell her bf who he can online with. The question is if this is a deal breaker and whether she should stay with him if he goes through with it.
Being secure in your relationship does not equate to being comfortable with any choices your significant other makes.
Nope no coming back from this. How could you trust her? Cut your losses and move on.
TBH, I think that that is what he is wanting too..
Don’t tell her. The fact that he’s trying to get back with you means he’ll react badly if you tell her and he works out it’s you. He would make your life hell at best and potentially physically harm you.
Usually I’d always suggest telling the wife but never when your ex is a police officer.
The mortgage advisor was not being rude. It’s EXTREMELY foolish to not have a contract if you’re not married.
One alternative is getting legally married, not holding a ceremony of any kind, and then doing the wedding that you want in 2024. It’s only a one year difference. And you’re planning on getting married anyway
You’re both young. Stay home. Build you marriage, so that and Europe are both still there in a few years when you go together.
I think, at 58M married 31 years, that the concept of being together and truly building a marriage by making memories and consistent togetherness (post wedding) are an often overlooked and forgotten thing. But, I think they are big and important things…
You. Need. To. Leave. Her. She is using you and she doesn’t love you. Fool me once…fool me twice. There’s a saying here and you need to seek out a lawyer to figure out who’s gonna buy whom out and or sell the residence. Ps. In future never buy a home with someone you aren’t married to. And if someone cheats, stop torturing yourself and do something healthy for yourself and move on.
First off, if it’s a question of taste rather than aversion or intolerance (you’re not gagging when you eat the food, your gut isn’t turning itself inside out), yes, you can change your tastes.
Secondly, you both want to eat at restaurants you enjoy and there isn’t a common ground apparently, which sucks. She might need a restaurant buddy so she CAN enjoy eating out. Or a good book.
Third she’s having a strong emotional reaction – are you sure this is about the food and that the food isn’t a symptom?
Fourth, I recommend going to buffet restaurants. On your own. You’d job is to sample everything you’re not allergic/averse to, even if you think you won’t like it. Take a small spoonful and try it. Then the next dish. You’re trying to find something, ANYTHING that will give you a ‘good meal out’ experience. Even if it’s a starter. And I say ‘without her’ because you need to be able to pick and pull faces, leave stuff on your plate and really sit with your thoughts. Take notes.
Lastly, every now and again, especially for her birthday/Valentines, suck it up. You’re going to have a not-great experience, your gf will have a fantastic experience, you both laugh and talk and have a great time.
what were you curious about? your sister was either fuckin or masturbating, and you just had to have a look? the fuck?
I mean, he's a dumb-ass for getting all worked up about not noticing and accusing you of lying. You have no responsibility to tell anyone that you had a boob job. He sounds like a fucking dork. Maybe time to move on if he can't get over himself. If he hasn't just left you yet he's not being sincere and is just trying to use your “lie” to manipulate you into submitting to his cry-baby bullshit.
Sexual harassment at best and abusive behaviour are perfectly good reasons to divorce someone.
He has told you he wont stop doing this no matter what you say or do. He does not care that he is triggering your trauma. He does not care about your consent or you saying no. He simply does not care and have told you he wont change. You can either stay or start working on an exit strategy to get out.
I'm really, really sorry you're dealing with this, it must be really nude both with your trauma and him both triggering and invalidating you. I hope you can get out and find a softer place to land.
Not every industry, but if you eat food, drink coffee, or use electronics, you're participating in industries that are just as bad.
I'm just going to comment on the one escort he slept with when you were together.
Your agreement was to tell each other about any other sex partners. He didn't tell you. He lied to you by omission. He very straightforwardly broke your relationship agreement. It was cheating. It wasn't minor.
How you want to deal with that is up to you, but please don't feel like you need to downplay it. He full-on cheated on you.
Thanks. It’s just hot to wrap my head around all of this
Good people don’t fetishized purity culture.
I was, most unfortunately, raised in the Catholic Church. Similar to OPs boyfriend, and I’d bet the downvotes people who are religious feeling personally attacked.
If they didn’t see themselves in my comment, they wouldn’t feel a need. I’m not too worried about it, I just want OP to be okay. Being treated like a heathen or sexual deviant for normal sex acts can impact your mental health for a very long time, maybe forever, and I just hope they get better treatment than that and see that it isn’t their fault.
This is a new one for me. Wish you the best, you sound like a good dude. If she doesn’t want you there will be plenty of other women who will.
There is zero aggression in that comment. Based on how you chose to react it's clearly obvious that your normal meter is busted from all the abuse, hun. You can't even tell up from down, left from right because your still actively choosing to be mistreated and abused.
That is a Horrible thing to suggest to him. Wow.
Why should she have to force you? This is important to her. It's not a big deal to you, so why not just do that for her?
UpdateMe!
I don't think she will leave you. Just keep on reinforcing positive things and being a stable and loving figure in her life . Show her you won't abandon her, even if the sabotaguing parts within herself try to push. She is used to be tough all the time but you can help show her that she doesn't need to be alone when she is with you.
Focus on fun times too, its important to alleviate the pressure. Go out on some casual dates together (theme park, zoo, etc), you need to enjoy the good times too when you're going through the tough ones.
And just leave
You've given her the ick. Unfortunately, you can't usually come back from that. Sorry dude.
Ahhh now that is uncomfortable lol.
Leave while you’re ahead. If you have to drive by his house to see if he’s lying, that’s already a bad sign.
You have a lot of growing up to do and a lot of the world to see and experience don't you? You sound like a crazy blue haired protester.
Well— you sure are in a pickle, because this is kind of a no-win for anybody.
The only right thing to do would be to break up with her now and just say “sorry, I shouldn't have let things get out of hand. I have been wanting to do this for a while. Sorry about the virginity thing.”
Yes, she will hate you– she should. But, better for all involved to just end it as you intended.
Break up. This is childish and petty behavior and it's not going to change. Or go over to his place and make him sit down so you both can have an adult conversation about his attitude and where ya'll want this relationship to go and how it needs to go? And that this petty behavior is uncalled for especially when you aren't understanding why he is suddenly acting like that.
Lol you don't have a boyfriend. This isn't a real relationship and you're completely wasting your time.
“How much furniture do you have”, “You could apply for a job at my neighbours company” and he is so excited taking me to home decor stores that I think these hints are pretty clear.
Umm this isn't subtle and to me at least feels very intense for 3 dates in…
“How much furniture do you have”, “You could apply for a job at my neighbours company” and he is so excited taking me to home decor stores that I think these hints are pretty clear.
Umm this isn't subtle and to me at least feels very intense for 3 dates in…
Got it. Just wanted to make the distinction for anyone reading this.
Doesn't matter if you've known her for 10 years, once she has lied to you often enough and about core issues like getting off with someone you both know without telling you something so simple, you know that nothing she tells you can be 100% trusted or believed. There's no future in that, this will always sit in your mind questioning her words.
that if she could go back in time and change those things
Says everybody who has ever fucked up a relationship. The problem is you only get to blow up someone's trust once, and then you're done.
What are your plans in the future? how do you see yourself in the long run, any goals, achievements? Do you believe in commitment?
I’m not married anymore as we’ve been divorced for years (got alimony to go back to school so I could get a good job to support myself and my kids and stayed with the sahm routine to make my kids lives easier with the transition , my life easier and my exes life as well) but my bf lives with me now and we have taken a different approach.
My bf is excellent at helping out and we consistently sit and talk about what needs we aren’t meeting with the other and we work it out together. So thankful I have that now! It can still be extremely stressful but I have a support system at home to help me and I help with the mental and physical needs to my bf as well. We have bad days but we can talk it out and the next week is much better and our relationship goes right back on track. It’s wonderful