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Louis, 19 y.o.
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Date: November 5, 2022
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It’s not “America”. It’s 30-40 million crazies. That’s a lot of crazies, but the majority of us can read basic research and know carrying a gun makes everyone less safe.
I somewhat agree with your girlfriend – G is a different story but Jesus… how intimate are these conversations getting if you’re so close with this female coworker? After working remotely for 2 years with the same group of people I would NEVER talk about much beyond small talk with the guys I work with (I am female).
I am also just the type of person who believes there’s no reasons to make new “friends” of the opposite gender once in a relationship. Clearly you are not that type of person and you aren’t wrong for that, but maybe you should let your girlfriend find someone who shares that form of compatibility with her.
That is totally an invalidating statement. You are showing you can't be trusted by dismissing her feelings and doing exactly what you want without considering her. You are just pointing the finger and saying “it's unhealthy” without considering the intent of another woman. Im going to tell you it doesn't matter if my husband was the most loyal man on earth, if there was a single woman who was eyeing him and HER intent was flirtatious I would want them to stop hanging out because it's disrespectful for him to validate HER time. I had a boyfriend like this, he never cheated but hung out with single girls all the time who liked him and flirted and it was disrespectful to me and gassed up these other women. I think he did it to boost his ego and I dumped him over it and I don't regret it.
I would definitely heed this warning because I've thought about sending such a message to my ex's next victim. I really REALLY wish I had known what I was getting into with him and just how damaging he would be to me. Narcissists operate in such a subtle, insidious way. You're most likely in the love-bombing stage where they seem too good to be true. IN THE BEGINNING. They you away, little by little until all of a sudden you're like, “Who the fuck am I? Where did I go?” Once the damage is done, it's a long, painful road back to reality. Back to who you used to be when you were happy. I bet you're a very vibrant, smart, compassionate person. That's exactly who they seek out. They're energy vampires because they feel so shitty about themselves, they must feed off of you.
Before him, I thought a narcissist was just a person that thought they look better than what they actually do.
If a girl wanted to scare you off to have him for themselves, they could take a simpler approach by saying he's cheating, is a pedophile or something. It wouldn't be something that needs a psychological profile explanation. Believe her.
You're years past the point where he would have proposed if he wanted to marry you. He doesn't. He's been lying and stringing you along, and making a show of it to other people to keep them off his back, but it's just that. No one's life is ever perfect, and no one would ever get married if they waited until it was. What you're describing is him moving the goal posts so he can make it feel like it's your fault you're not married yet, and not that he's a dishonest asshole.
You're young, and you seem to know what you want in terms of a relationship. He's never going to give it to you. In two years, there will be a different problem, and then after that another. He might get a ring to try to shut you up, but never plan the wedding. He might buy a house with you, or get you pregnant, and then when he feels you're trapped tell you marriage isn't happening.
the only reason i want her to accept it or her “permission” is bc i feel bad for her. she lives w just me & my brother. she’s too attached to me since her divorce & wants me w her all the time. very toxic relationship between us & i keep making excuses for her but idk how to stop.
She showed me this texts and i was wondering why would he ask such a question day after we had argued and had gone to hotel?
Tacky is the nicest possible adjective.
And when it grows up and doesn’t play 24/7 anymore he’ll get bored and neglect it or put it out on the street to get run over by a car. Smh, poor cats. Leave and make sure they have a good home. They didn’t ask for any of it
Yep…in a nutshell….
I would also add “Babe, I just want to know what time so I know when to worry and call the cops because you might have gotten in an accident. Not because I'm an evil harpy trying to control every aspect of your life. That is my mom, and is why my dad is kind of nuts. Please don't take what he says to heart, they need serious therapy and refuse to do so. Please talk to me before they drag you into their drama trying to turn us into them.”
Well congrats on finding your mom again I guess
Have you talked to her about it? She may be feeling the same & unsure how to talk to you? Maybe she is stressed about something she isnt talking to you about?
To say what I need to say. He needs to know how how badly this is to me. We aren't talking anymore anyways, so it literally makes no difference.
Therapy? Life’s only a competition if you think of it that way.
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It's understandable that you might feel uncomfortable or disrespected by your wife's comment about the cook coming with the oven, especially if you felt that it was flirting. However, it's also important to remember that your wife may not have intended to be disrespectful or flirtatious, and may have simply been trying to make small talk or a joke.
It's important for couples to have open and honest communication about their feelings and concerns. It might be helpful for you to express your concerns to your wife in a calm and respectful way, letting her know how her comment made you feel. It might also be helpful for you to ask her directly if she was flirting with the cook, and to have a conversation about what is and is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to respect each other and to be honest with each other about your feelings and concerns. If you feel that your wife's behavior is crossing a line or causing problems in your relationship, it might be helpful to consider seeking the guidance of a licensed therapist or counselor who can help you work through any issues you may be facing.
Why do you want to stay with someone who isn't giving anything close to the same as you are to the relationship. You deserve better. Long distance relationships especially only work when both partners want the same thing and over time, figure out what the end game is to be together, like who's moving where. Trust and communication are the life's blood of a LDR. Without either of those, and in your case the communication definitely seems lacking, the relationship won't survive.
She can provide a complete medical history before leaving. She doesn't have to have any contact with the child or the father. She has to pay child support, but that doesn't require contact. The bank can transfer funds all by itself.
She just wants a casual, sexual, relationship. Feel free to talk to others.
Yes,that's why I'm thinking to end this matter and listen to her entirely.
Sounds like a 15 year old wrote this. God I hope so.
He wants to cheat on you while you watch, basically.
Here, take this bag of self respect, and leave him: ?⭐️?
Leave him
Ok no, ohnonono what the fuck. If he's doing the labor she should be paying for the groceries!
Say what you will about old mates tone and delivery, but at the end of the day (considering these two are young) he's pretty spot on.
OP's SO is gonna be questioning how he measures up against his mate in different ways. He's not old enough to be fully cognizant of the fact that other parts of the relationship are just as important, if not more so, than whether he's the best in bed. He's also young enough to believe that he has to be the best in the sack for her to want to stay with him.
Dollars to donuts he's more worried about whether his mate was better in bed than he was and if OP can reassure him without making it apparent that's what she's doing, then SO is gonna stop being bothered by it.
This seems like a bully tactic. Okay the dude doesn't trust his wife. Now what?
Dump her. She hasn't moved past any of it, leave her unless you love being with a drama magnet.
I asked if he wanted an open relationship. I told him that he would have to use protection and give me a heads up that he’s going to be with someone. He said he doesn’t want an open relationship, and you’re right it’s probably so I don’t sleep with other men.
Not showing yourself to be a very empathetic or communicative partner, that’s for sure.
It's okay dude, you don't like your girlfriend and you're looking for an excuse. That's why you wont listen to anyone
You can talk about that stuff all you want, but we're all a single second away from complete disfigurement. What if you got into a car wreck today and he decided he could never have sex with you again because of the scar from your broken arm?
It's the lack of empathy and perspective that makes it icky.
You can explain it away however you want.
Come on now. You can’t be accepting this bullshit. He thinks about sex with you all the time, but then has the chance to have sex with you and …..uses other material to get off? You can’t be naive enough to believe anything he says when this is how he acts?
You have to be smarter than that. That literally does not make sense. Imagine I said “I can’t wait to eat some spaghetti i’ve been thinking about it all day” then i went and devoured a plate of lasagna instead of spaghetti even though it was also right in front of me ; It would be clear I had lied about wanting spaghetti or didn’t want it as much as i had said , right?
You’re the spaghetti. Don’t be.
Dump her
Ugh. This sucks.
But the answer here is simple. Continue what you are doing and get into therapy to work through the guilt. Feelings are not reality and you can get to a place where you feel how you should about this decision (peaceful).
Do you think she sent a sexy picture? What was his reaction?
Hmm, i'd have to say i dissagree. Sure, it's not a 3rd date joke or even 30th date joke. But if you've been together for a while, and you're sure that your partner knows that you love them, and their body, it could be a funny joke. It depends on how comfitable you are with each other.
Are they people he knows or just random internet finds?
Even that I don’t get. I watched all three of my children crown and it didn’t affect how I viewed my wife. I guess I could see how it would affect someone but I hope this poor woman can see how it’s not her but he who has a major issue.
You're calling the person who fucked your wife behind your back for years while pretending to be friendly to your face a great person to have around‽
You feel so awful that you fucked your friends ex. You continue to do so. You haven't been honest with your friend, and? I'm sure it's tearing you apart. With friends like these… Dick was more important than friendship.
she want me to come but also them
and she won't do anything with them i trust her but i think that fked up she want to go with them so much
If he’s the one to handle it though it has to be because ‘mom you’re behaving in an inappropriate way’ – not ‘my fiancée doesn’t want you to wear this’
Sounds to me like that friendship he was building was always only meant to get you into bed. Once the opportunity went away his interest did too.
I just don’t understand why he didn’t want to be with me when our relationship was growing so nicely and it was exciting, despite his money troubles
this is going to blow you mind but in a breakup, many times one person thinks things are fine and the other doesn't..The rosy picture in your head is in fact just that, in your head. in his it is something else….anyways, its over. Move on, he is..
part of me wants to block him, but part of me is scared what if I do get pregnant or something?? I take birth control, but i only started my new one within 2 months. I did end up having a friend come with me to get a Plan B yesterday, so I know i’ve done everything I can, but i’m still paranoid i’m going to get pregnant, i’ve never had anyone do this before
yup, he’s not into you at all
You could miss out if you don’t go. 2 hours isn’t too bad to see each other weekly. If you want to be long distance it can be done in my opinion with 2 hours difference
I do get it’s sad you’re leaving as this means possibly the end of your relationship and that’s understandable. However if you and him are meant to be you will find a way back. Sounds corny but I believe in it. You may date new people but that life experience really grows on you. I feel like college years are the ones you truly find yourself. It’ll be hard being away from family and your bf. Yet you gain that true self reliance once you branch out from home. Could even be some of the best years you’ve ever had coming your way! You won’t lose your bf, if you two love each other you can always remain in contact even if no longer together
Thank you! That makes sense and I did think it was a bit fast. He wanted to get together and be official by the second date.
In the future, would it be better to date several people at once before deciding on anyone?
I did speak with him, but there was a bit of waffling on if he would be able to meet my needs. He seemed to feel that what I was looking for was 'rushing things'. My last ex who couldn't make time for me said the same thing for me when I hoped for more time together.
I know it's early in the relationship, but this reason hurt and made me feel unimportant.
Your list is…something.
Partners aren't a list of boxes getting checked. That's an odd way to look at it. Regardless of whether it's hives or any other reason…he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Accept it and move on.
Also “I changed my brand of cigarettes” is kind of crazy. If the poor man is allergic to cigarette smoke, it doesn't matter what one you smoke.
It sounds like this to me…
Guy gets into you, something triggers him, he realizes this isn't what he wants…tries to get away and then gets pulled back in again. This isn't healthy for him and it isn't healthy for you. Move on. And maybe let go of the checklist.