Don't gaslight yourself or pressure yourself, he should NOT be pressuring this subject and you might end up doing it just to please him and that will cause you trauma in the long run, this is very concerning OP I hope your okay, do you have a supportive community around you or are you isolated to your husband?
I see way more red flags then I could deal with. I wish you the best. Good luck
Don't gaslight yourself or pressure yourself, he should NOT be pressuring this subject and you might end up doing it just to please him and that will cause you trauma in the long run, this is very concerning OP I hope your okay, do you have a supportive community around you or are you isolated to your husband?