Hun. I don't need to meet you or even see you to confidently say that you are absolutely fine and you boyfriend is being an ass.
Not kidding. I'm 5ft and 127 and not blessed with big boobs and I'm considered a completely healthy weight. I'd be thrilled if i had an additional 6 inches and big boobs to spread that around on.
Your account is full of you telling other guys to DM you and calling them 'babe' (just a month ago), does your boyfriend know this? This story seems fake to me.
My wife and I would have dry spells for a few weeks and happen to want sex recently after I took care of myself. I would not finish just because I'm not that fast with my own refractory period. It's not her fault, but also not mine. We're different with our sex drives.
Consider, and this may sound silly, but maybe schedule, with him, sexy times far enough out enough that he'll be ready. This can help him sync up with you.
As for the porn, I don't have a problem finishing with my wife especially if she lets me know one way or the other, so the timing isn't inopportune. It doesn't delude me and does change our ability to have sex and for me to enjoy it. I just happen to handle myself daily and if she wants to go within the same day, I may not be able to finish. And no, it's not reasonable for me to wait around weeks, heck, even a few days, with my needs. So I have to do my own thing.
So maybe this is as simple as a scheduling issue, and maybe you can work that angle with him. Or maybe not. Maybe you two are like rabbits.
No. She left. Chasing after her is some Bs 80s romcom shit. If you call, and she doesn’t answer, take the hint. Either she’s serious and you’re being a creep, or she’s playing games. Trying to keep being in a relation in either situation is a bad idea.
Because in all honestly he is a bit insecure and has trust issues
But more specifically doesn't like me playing video games or talking with his friends
He's not a candidate for a long distance thing. And tbh, there's a possibility that you might be wasting your youth on these types of relationships. You're only young once, dont waste it on someone you can't go out and have fun experiences with.
Tell your ex that you'd like to remain friends with him, but you'll be ok if that's not something he's capable of.
I’m a white dad with two white boys. My best friend is as black as black can be. (Best man at my wedding to give you some idea).
My dad was the most racist man on the planet, well it felt that way. And the irony was that his best friend was black also. Both have now passed away.
I had a poor relationship with my dad for many reasons and one of them was his racist ways.
The way I see it is that I am not racist, my sons are not racist and actively drop friends that are, and tell them why. My son is a heavy weight boxer and a good one so nobody he’s dumped or straightened up for being racist has ever been brave enough to give him any issue.
My advice is to tell him. Tell him he is racist and you don’t like it. Then distance yourself from him.
So she dumped you to chase someone else, that didn’t work out and now she’s crawling back to you as a backup plan WHICH IS ALL YOU ARE AND YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
You need to refuse to take her back and save a lifetime of uncertainty (Who called her? Why is she late coming home? Why was she shopping at that store?) because you have no idea if or when she will dump you again because it’s convenient for her.
Honestly, I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it which was surprising cause I usually find it kinda boring.
Look, if you're not interested, you don't need to justify it. Even if your reason were completely random, like “He wears too many blue shirts” it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your reasons. You don't want to date him, even if he's handsome, don't feel confused about it, don't date him.
If you do find him attractive, and you think you might be open to dating him later, when your head is clear, you're allowed to tell him that. And you're allowed to tell him that if he persists too much in the meantime, your interest may never develop.
What he's doing isn't necessarily disrespectful, but that doesn't earn him a date. Don't let ANYone tell you who you should or shouldn't be interested in. You take all the time you need to figure it out.
I knew my current man many years ago, (through my ex!) and always knew he was a forever guy, not for rebounds or taking lightly. I saw him a few months after I'd left my husband, and I was polite, but didn't try to give him any reason to ask me out, because it wasn't the right time. I wasn't even remotely in love with my ex, and had zero confusion about him, but it was still…a few months after leaving my husband, and the two of them were friends.
I moved away, he moved away, we both came back and moved away again..it took us a few years, but we found each other, and we've been blissfully happy since the first moment we saw each other. Because the time was right for both of us at the same time.
You take the time you need to figure it out, and the answer might still be no. In the interim, you need to focus on yourself, not him or what he wants.
While I have every sympathy for the situation you’re in and feel terrible that you’re losing your mum, I think it would be unfair to ask your partner not to attend an important family occasion for him. He had this booked before you knew what was happening & it’s something he should be celebrating with his family.
That being said, if I were a loving, respectful & supportive partner I’d be making the conscious decision not to go and would be staying right by your side.
I think you’ll find there are mixed opinions on this but ultimately it would be down to your partner to make the decision & trying to force the issue is likely to only cause everything to get so much worse.
Hell isn't real, so don't worry about that.? Time to block her on everything. She is likely hurt by the break-up still and because you don't want her back she wanted to hurt you. Block her and move on.
I do tend to stick up for myself, but it’s normally responded with “I’m scared of you” ect.
I’m not physically abusive, nor do I break, punch ect, I just raise my voice in frustration. I do feel this might be too much sometimes and I might be at fault in this regard, idk. It’s very hard to chose to walk away from a life you have decided to build regardless of the circumstance
Thanks for the response, while I’m not convinced yet that she’s necessarily projecting, at this point it doesn’t matter to me because I am so tired of feeling worthless
She says she sleeps in another room because we wake up at different times, and regarding the dirty looks she says it’s “just her face” but having been together for so long I know this isn’t the case.
There is literally nothing that I’m hiding here, nothing has happened to set any of this off it’s come out of nowhere!
I did suggest depression to her which was batted off as being impossible, I have tried to get her to go to a doctor or therapist for help and she refuses.
Get away from him as soon as possible there is nol reason for you to be with him he has told you who he was please believe him we wouldn't have anything else to talk about. No man is going to tell me that he is going to kill our future daughter if she is disrespectful he has told you who he is now it's time for you to get the f*** away from him
Thank you for the advice! I think I’ll ask her how she’s been feeling about my habit recently and see what she says. It may take a minute to get her to tell me what she really wants, but it’s all worth it. 🙂
I asked him this because I told him that his my type and his everything that I’ve wanted in a boyfriend. So I was just curious if I was the same for him. I feel bad and unwanted with the fact that part of him was desiring a different looking girlfriend (asian look) while I’m his girlfriend during the entire relationship ?. It actually hurts a lot
The bottom line is that she intentionally punched you. I don't hit people while sober, or drunk, I say things I wouldn't normally while drunk, but I still mean them. Being drunk just means you're 'barrier' is not up mostly.
Here’s the thing…it’s not about what he did. It’s about how you value yourself. Look in a mirror and know this twisted “less than” life with him isn’t what you deserve.
Make him “acknowledge” by moving on to a great life, better relationships and doing it all with his money.
The friendship is cooling off. It happens that way sometimes. There’s nothing to extricate yourself from. You’ll simply go back to being work colleagues.
If you thought the relationship was going to turn romantic – not saying it was but I’m picking that up from a few things in your post – if this was the case with your feelings, maybe she picked up on that and thought it best to dial it back a bit.
There are men who will not do this to you. Men who will treat you well-like an equal.
But to find them you must be willing to not date people who treat you poorly. Have boundaries. Have respect for yourself. You’ll attract a better class of person once you develop better sense of self worth.
Sounds like you’re getting extra physical therapy
Lol lucky. Ok so 5 foot 6, 130lbs and big boobs.
Hun. I don't need to meet you or even see you to confidently say that you are absolutely fine and you boyfriend is being an ass.
Not kidding. I'm 5ft and 127 and not blessed with big boobs and I'm considered a completely healthy weight. I'd be thrilled if i had an additional 6 inches and big boobs to spread that around on.
Your account is full of you telling other guys to DM you and calling them 'babe' (just a month ago), does your boyfriend know this? This story seems fake to me.
When you have sex, is it sporadic and infrequent?
My wife and I would have dry spells for a few weeks and happen to want sex recently after I took care of myself. I would not finish just because I'm not that fast with my own refractory period. It's not her fault, but also not mine. We're different with our sex drives.
Consider, and this may sound silly, but maybe schedule, with him, sexy times far enough out enough that he'll be ready. This can help him sync up with you.
As for the porn, I don't have a problem finishing with my wife especially if she lets me know one way or the other, so the timing isn't inopportune. It doesn't delude me and does change our ability to have sex and for me to enjoy it. I just happen to handle myself daily and if she wants to go within the same day, I may not be able to finish. And no, it's not reasonable for me to wait around weeks, heck, even a few days, with my needs. So I have to do my own thing.
So maybe this is as simple as a scheduling issue, and maybe you can work that angle with him. Or maybe not. Maybe you two are like rabbits.
No. She left. Chasing after her is some Bs 80s romcom shit. If you call, and she doesn’t answer, take the hint. Either she’s serious and you’re being a creep, or she’s playing games. Trying to keep being in a relation in either situation is a bad idea.
girl it’s haikyuu that shit SMACKS
OK that makes a little more sense
For sure, part of a good friendship is calling out shit you don't like.
Yeah I wouldn’t like that
Because in all honestly he is a bit insecure and has trust issues
But more specifically doesn't like me playing video games or talking with his friends
He's not a candidate for a long distance thing. And tbh, there's a possibility that you might be wasting your youth on these types of relationships. You're only young once, dont waste it on someone you can't go out and have fun experiences with.
Tell your ex that you'd like to remain friends with him, but you'll be ok if that's not something he's capable of.
Best of luck.
I’m a white dad with two white boys. My best friend is as black as black can be. (Best man at my wedding to give you some idea).
My dad was the most racist man on the planet, well it felt that way. And the irony was that his best friend was black also. Both have now passed away.
I had a poor relationship with my dad for many reasons and one of them was his racist ways.
The way I see it is that I am not racist, my sons are not racist and actively drop friends that are, and tell them why. My son is a heavy weight boxer and a good one so nobody he’s dumped or straightened up for being racist has ever been brave enough to give him any issue.
My advice is to tell him. Tell him he is racist and you don’t like it. Then distance yourself from him.
You make good points. I will take this advice !
HOW ABOUT YOU GET TF OUT OF MY POST, YOU ARE PROBABLY A GREASY PROSTITUTE YOURSELF! BLOCKED!
This person knows the way
Thank you.
No. That is terrible advice.
Be an adult, talk your concerns (not sustained, imo) out.
Don't do some dumb shit that will end up ruining your marriage.
So she dumped you to chase someone else, that didn’t work out and now she’s crawling back to you as a backup plan WHICH IS ALL YOU ARE AND YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
You need to refuse to take her back and save a lifetime of uncertainty (Who called her? Why is she late coming home? Why was she shopping at that store?) because you have no idea if or when she will dump you again because it’s convenient for her.
Tell her you don't feel comfortable with this idea.
Honestly, I enjoyed it more than the sex I’ve had with girls. And he kissed me for a while afterwards and I actually liked it which was surprising cause I usually find it kinda boring.
we’re not gay
Sure bud.
Look, if you're not interested, you don't need to justify it. Even if your reason were completely random, like “He wears too many blue shirts” it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your reasons. You don't want to date him, even if he's handsome, don't feel confused about it, don't date him.
If you do find him attractive, and you think you might be open to dating him later, when your head is clear, you're allowed to tell him that. And you're allowed to tell him that if he persists too much in the meantime, your interest may never develop.
What he's doing isn't necessarily disrespectful, but that doesn't earn him a date. Don't let ANYone tell you who you should or shouldn't be interested in. You take all the time you need to figure it out.
I knew my current man many years ago, (through my ex!) and always knew he was a forever guy, not for rebounds or taking lightly. I saw him a few months after I'd left my husband, and I was polite, but didn't try to give him any reason to ask me out, because it wasn't the right time. I wasn't even remotely in love with my ex, and had zero confusion about him, but it was still…a few months after leaving my husband, and the two of them were friends.
I moved away, he moved away, we both came back and moved away again..it took us a few years, but we found each other, and we've been blissfully happy since the first moment we saw each other. Because the time was right for both of us at the same time.
You take the time you need to figure it out, and the answer might still be no. In the interim, you need to focus on yourself, not him or what he wants.
While I have every sympathy for the situation you’re in and feel terrible that you’re losing your mum, I think it would be unfair to ask your partner not to attend an important family occasion for him. He had this booked before you knew what was happening & it’s something he should be celebrating with his family.
That being said, if I were a loving, respectful & supportive partner I’d be making the conscious decision not to go and would be staying right by your side.
I think you’ll find there are mixed opinions on this but ultimately it would be down to your partner to make the decision & trying to force the issue is likely to only cause everything to get so much worse.
Hell isn't real, so don't worry about that.? Time to block her on everything. She is likely hurt by the break-up still and because you don't want her back she wanted to hurt you. Block her and move on.
I do tend to stick up for myself, but it’s normally responded with “I’m scared of you” ect.
I’m not physically abusive, nor do I break, punch ect, I just raise my voice in frustration. I do feel this might be too much sometimes and I might be at fault in this regard, idk. It’s very hard to chose to walk away from a life you have decided to build regardless of the circumstance
Thanks for the response, while I’m not convinced yet that she’s necessarily projecting, at this point it doesn’t matter to me because I am so tired of feeling worthless
WTF THATS NOT NORMAL OR OK, YOU ARE BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED WHICH BORDERS RAPE. THIS IS BAD. GET OUT PLEASE
She says she sleeps in another room because we wake up at different times, and regarding the dirty looks she says it’s “just her face” but having been together for so long I know this isn’t the case.
There is literally nothing that I’m hiding here, nothing has happened to set any of this off it’s come out of nowhere!
I did suggest depression to her which was batted off as being impossible, I have tried to get her to go to a doctor or therapist for help and she refuses.
You still don’t get it. That’s what your “bestie” is doing.
Either ask more people or don't ask the girl.
Get away from him as soon as possible there is nol reason for you to be with him he has told you who he was please believe him we wouldn't have anything else to talk about. No man is going to tell me that he is going to kill our future daughter if she is disrespectful he has told you who he is now it's time for you to get the f*** away from him
Thank you for the advice! I think I’ll ask her how she’s been feeling about my habit recently and see what she says. It may take a minute to get her to tell me what she really wants, but it’s all worth it. 🙂
I asked him this because I told him that his my type and his everything that I’ve wanted in a boyfriend. So I was just curious if I was the same for him. I feel bad and unwanted with the fact that part of him was desiring a different looking girlfriend (asian look) while I’m his girlfriend during the entire relationship ?. It actually hurts a lot
He told you he has a habit that would make you break up with him if you knew what it was and you still married him?
Exactly
How old are you? Agreeing to go on a date with someone doesn't make you official?! WTF.
Cheating hurts. Stop bringing it up.
The bottom line is that she intentionally punched you. I don't hit people while sober, or drunk, I say things I wouldn't normally while drunk, but I still mean them. Being drunk just means you're 'barrier' is not up mostly.
I would leave.
Here’s the thing…it’s not about what he did. It’s about how you value yourself. Look in a mirror and know this twisted “less than” life with him isn’t what you deserve.
Make him “acknowledge” by moving on to a great life, better relationships and doing it all with his money.
The friendship is cooling off. It happens that way sometimes. There’s nothing to extricate yourself from. You’ll simply go back to being work colleagues.
If you thought the relationship was going to turn romantic – not saying it was but I’m picking that up from a few things in your post – if this was the case with your feelings, maybe she picked up on that and thought it best to dial it back a bit.
My goodness. What do you even get out of this?
There are men who will not do this to you. Men who will treat you well-like an equal.
But to find them you must be willing to not date people who treat you poorly. Have boundaries. Have respect for yourself. You’ll attract a better class of person once you develop better sense of self worth.
Yeah…the irony.