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LotysB, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 6, 2022
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I’ve read some things along this line also – on the flip side of men being biological wired to sow their seed – women are biologically driven to find the best specimen to procreate with.
My parents are out of town
Dreams mean nothing. Start telling yourself that and you’ll be fine.
It's the distinction between the emotional connection vs simply having sex with someone.
Because there are people who don't think it's cheating unless a dick gets taken out.
I understand it was probably crazy to hear. But you were alot younger and he was making a joke. It would be one thing if he said it recently, but it truly should be something to look back at and laugh. Its been seven years and by the sounds of it he does truly love you. So if this is the biggest issue, dont loose him over it, its not worth it
i need to
Don’t buy a new home until you decide your future. Check with a lawyer, it could be considered marital property and she would get half.
that’s bs. he likes op enough he’s with her, if he was gonna leave her for a girl with a different figure then he would’ve already. there’s clearly a lot more to it than a minor physical preference
At her age the chances of having a child who is autistic or has us other forms of anomalies goes way up. In my opinion she is being completely unfair to you and punishing you by withholding sex is f****** immature. If it was me I would secretly get a vasectomy. Then tell her yeah sure okay let's have a baby. And then act like you have no idea why she can't get pregnant.
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The significant age difference combined with the fact that he won’t let you meet her are major red flags IMO. My guess is they’re still together. He wants to have his cake and eat it too
Bisexuality in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship adds a layer of complexity
What's the complexity? It's a serious not trying to be funny or anything I just don't understand why would it be more complex?
play with your own tits bro
To reiterate exactly what I just said – the reason we're treating this differently to most SAHP has nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with the age gap. You asked why we're treating this any differently to a straight relationship, and we're not. We're treating it differently to a relationship between similarly aged couples because this relationship has an unhealthy age gap.
I didn't say OPs partner is definitely controlling, you just assumed I think that
Sex can be illusionary with confidence. Have contigency plans if you need it. Like toys, viagra anything that works. If you tell her, about issues,do it in a confident way, and like you are empowered. There is something romantic about a man that leads first romantic encounter. As far as how you look, the bar for men is different. There is so much more leaway. If she asks about a scar just tell her. Confidence is the name of this tune.
Its like you people can't even read this before you are typing a comment here you just hear about spanking and you think he's beating her down like a dog you don't even try to see this from my eyes and my familys eyes IT WASN'T ABOUT SEX NO ONE WAS BEING BEATEN IT WAS A PLAYFUL LITTLE PATT LIKE I HAVE SEEN A HUNDRED PEOPLE DO TO EVEN THEIR FAMILY YOU ARE THE SICK ONES THINKING LIKE THIS
Figuring out the finances? Girl. I hope by that you mean you’ll be figuring out your own finances and getting out of that awful relationship.
You say that all your friends think he’s such a great guy … BUT… there’s always a but, isn’t there??
He’s such a great guy BUT he doesn’t even prioritize you over his hypochondriac brother on YOUR WEDDING DAY. THIS ISN’T JUST AN ORDINARY TUESDAY. IT’S YOUR WEDDING!!
I see you’ve ignored the issue of breaking up very effectively in all of your comments. But, please, get your head out of the sand. You can’t continue to play the ostrich and pretend like these issues aren’t huge ones. You are playing second to a man who is 10 years older and has panic attacks which he needs his baby brother to manage for him. THIS MAN WILL ALWAYS MAKE YOU THE THIRD WHEEL IN YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP. With the unlikely exception that your fiancé cuts him out of your lives for good – you will always be second best and the second priority.
Also, do you really believe that your fiancé’s actions today have shown him as being really concerned for your well-being? He drops you off with your friends in an absolutely devastating manner and refuses to even consider how absurd he’s being? It’s obvious the brother doesn’t want your wedding to happen… but I’m not even sure that your fiancé wants to marry you. If he wanted to he would, and all that.
Please, for the love of god, have some self-respect. I’m so sad for you, but also appalled that you’re really sitting there and continuing to allow thoughts of this relationship going forward. Sometimes, love isn’t enough.
I wish you all the best.
“Movie n Dinner at a hip joint this weekend?”
You are asking of 2$ for each! Come on. How much time do you spend on one? And he get miffed? Maybe he should try to ask someone else and see if he can get it cheaper.
Just because you are his gf, you shouldn't to your art for free. To do one or two little things okay, but he got used to it and he doesn't see how much work is behind it, so asking for money was the right way. He behaved as if you asked for the normal price but 20 bucks? I would have give you more without asking.
Get on the waiting list now anyway, even if it feels like a pointless exercise. That way you're holding onto a spot and if things get worse you're already one foot on the ladder and hopefully you'll have a better chance of being bumped up for an emergency referral. Sending you good vibes. Trying to get mental health treatment on the NHS is such a joke.
You don't have TV shows you both love? Movies? What about starting a hobby together like hiking or a fitness class that you can discuss. My husband and I bond over food shows and great restaurants and are always planning our next new place to try. Usually once a month we try a new to us place.
Thank you
No fault and equitable division of assets. OP needs a second opinion. That lawyer just wants a drawn out divorce which only the attorney will win.
You reap what you sow, OP.
So tell him it's over, block him and if he shows up tell him your calling the police if he dosent leave. He cannot make you stay. No one can. If you decide it's over, it's over. His opinion on the matter ceases to matter when hes no longer your bf. I know it sounds cold but sometimes you have to be harsh to make the point.
Hmm, good point, not sure. Never actually used one myself, just read things here and there about it being used for tracking and whatnot in various circumstances. If you think your ipad will work, and that you can hide it from him, and you’re willing to risk it, then go for it.
Jesus Christ this is not OK. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who is OK with causing you to scream in pain? Someone who can still drive sexual pleasure when you are screaming in pain? Do you think a person like that cares about you at all? This man is dangerous. You are being abused. Please break up with him.
One of the saddest parts of this is that you would feel tighter for him if you were actually aroused. Like if he wasn’t a piece of shit and you had already orgasmed or at least been fully turned on before he tried to enter you, you would be more engorged, and therefore tighter. That is how vaginas work. Not this loose as a hallway shit.. that’s because he jacks off with a death grip. He’s literally doing it to himself and blaming you for it.
I beg you to leave him as soon as it is safe for you to do so. This is behavior of human garbage. Time to take out the trash.
I hear you. I am big on giving people the benefit of the doubt, but we have to weigh that against reality and patterns of behavior. Who plans a trip after a major medical issue where they owe someone money? Not a rational minded, respectful person. A rational person would realize maybe they need to wait and save and pay off debt for a year before taking a trip. Certainly not asking someone else to pay for it.
You sound like a very caring person and there is nothing wrong with being generous. But, it does sound like your generosity is being taken advantage of. I’m also big on listening to your gut instinct. There are women in this world who will see you as more than an ATM.
What are your thoughts on what you’d like to do with this situation?
She deserves to know but personally I’m not dumb enough to not know my husband has a gf. You’d be surprised how many people “know” deep down but don’t address it. Let it be. If she wanted to know, she would.
You have developed some sort of a Stockholm syndrome, staying with this man could have ended in a tragedy. You made a good decision to leave him. Don't let the good moments cloud your judgement.
Your perception is 100% correct because you are being used. If you want to end the relationship (and I would), do so. She knows exactly what she and her son are doing, and you can find out where you are simply by reminding her when the loan repayments were supposed to start, and that you expect them to begin “x.” Her response will tell you all you need to know. If you keep at it, tell her you can't afford her suggestions for excursions, and when the kid gets hungry, simply suggest she take him home. Don't invest more money until you are fully paid back.
Yeah for example, currently this resurgence of guilt is because one of these people I used to be friends with who I stopped, texted me last night a weird message that was probably flirtatious, but I just blocked him and left it alone. I don’t know what his intention was or why but I didn’t want to tell my boyfriend because he can be very reactive and I don’t do well with drama. Is that something I’d need to tell him?
She likely only told you because she thought you saw who she was talking too and thought you became suspicious. She probably thought if she admitted it would be easier than if you contacted him.
She is not guilty of her affair. She's only guilty of being caught. If she had any remorse she would have confessed after getting any feeling for this guy, or when she returned, or blocked him, or countless other ways. She didn't because she doesn't feel remorse bad for cheating on you.
Which means she could have other men she's slept with that she's not confessed to.
She's really good at lying and manipulation, so anything she says shouldn't be trusted.
Your entire marriage has been built on her lies and infidelity.
He probably isn't taking you seriously because he doesn't think its a problem. He doesn't see what he's doing as bad. If he hides it, you can't get upset about it. Even if you KNOW he's drunk, or tipsy, or whatever. The logic of an alcoholic is extremely flawed.
One of the alcoholics I knew would hide the cans all over their basement. Behind the stairs. Underneath random pieces of paper in the trashcan. In a cupboard. When confronted they would insist they weren't drinking. They would insist they didn't have a problem, because they'd cut back to just one or two a night. (It wasn't just one or two).
Point being, if he has to hide it to the point where it almost feels like gaslighting, he has a problem. You know he's drinking. You know he took that bottle your friend left, finished it (probably in the dead of night or when you weren't home), and stuck it back in a random cupboard like you wouldn't find it and possibly think you were a little insane because no, thats not where you left it and no, it wasn't empty when you left it.
I am telling you right now this is a bigger problem than you're making it out to seem. It isn't just heavy drinking. He is actively deceiving you because he would rather drink than actually cut back. And he would rather drink so much that instead of listening when you, his partner, brings up a concern, he thinks the better way of handling it is to continue to hide it, possibly try to gaslight you and say he's not hiding it when you KNOW FOR A FACT he is (dont let him spin him hiding that bottle in a separate cupboard as anything other than hiding it from you), and continue to rely so heavily on it that he'd rather lie to his partner than go a week without it.
We all know that family where one parent either didn't want kids or underestimated what child care would actually be. Accidental pregnancy. one parent is crushing it and the other is phoning it in till they give up and divorce.
Or worst, resentment builds and they either neglect or abuse the kid.
Tale as Ole as time.
We all know that family where one parent either didn't want kids or underestimated what child care would actually be. Accidental pregnancy. one parent is crushing it and the other is phoning it in till they give up and divorce.
Or worst, resentment builds and they either neglect or abuse the kid.
Tale as Ole as time.
bro, thenleave, this relationship is obvs not worth it
She’s abusing you and she’s not your friend. She’s taking advantage of you
Apologies. Will take care while posting anything next time
This dog views you as its entire world. This dog will stay loyal to you and will stay by your side. Your boyfriend won't.
Drop the BF. He's being unreasonable by holding his pain over your head and giving an ultimatum.
Interrupt, clap loudly and then tell him you want the Reader’s Digest version.
He better not be sleeping around while waiting for you. Take this period to get to know his personality and what does he do on his free time.
he’s not your dream guy anymore.
sadly, it’s time to move on.
sending love
I don’t understand why you care so much about the opinion of an ex. Who cares if he perceives this as revenge or if he won’t forgive you. There’s nothing to forgive anyway. But don’t try and involve him in the pregnancy process. He’s made his views clear.
How old is your daughter and what is the behavior?
Sorry to jump on this thread but I need an opinion?
What about when your trying to get your point across and he continually ignores you then says his things, THEN gets pissed off and say I don't know how to have a talk one person says one thing then the other says the next!!
Like wtf!!!! Oh magic man bamboozle me with your fucking nonsense!!
I'd consider just telling him you are out of PTO and you'll only be able to support him emotionally not with labor.
Yes. She can do that. And, he can decide he doesn't want to be married to a woman who acts like she's single.
I mean it's fucked up to rank your relationships and if he did it without you asking him then yeah that's on him.
Sure, give her what she wants. Open the relationship then block her. She's single and free to do what she wants.
You have two options.
Stay and watch her bang other men and not you while you go through a dry spell and lose respect for yourself. Find a new gf that believes in monogamy with a similar sex drive
They are picky, like normal kids things – fruit and berries, some simple veggies, meat is hit or miss, lots of noodles, cheese, yogurt, etc.
My wife wants to make other things for them, like a few nights ago it was a pasta bake. The kids won't eat it, we've tried before, but she wants to keep trying so the kids don't end up in a Mac N Cheese + french fries rut. Which isn't wrong, but I think the ratio of foods we are “experimenting” with vs. foods we know they will eat is off, especially since the experiments are what trashes the kitchen.
Is she getting treatment for her BPD? Honestly this sounds like it isn't being well managed. Not that you should be all up in her medical stuff, but this honestly sounds like one of the swings you have already experienced, but in a different direction. Not a doctor though, so take that opinion with a huge dose of salt, and check in with her.
Whether it is or isn't, if this is something she truly wants long term and not just a phase in her continual efforts to appease the whims of her own mind (how many of us can relate to our brains being stupid?), then what you need to decide is if this is something you can on-line with. Is this a future you want? Check in with her mental health first, before blowing anything up. Because if this is just wonky brain chemistry and not an actual life choice she will make on a consistent basis, you need to know that before you make any decisions.