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Date: November 23, 2022
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Closing attorneys are not common in every state. Not sure why commenter is so strident about that ?
I do this with my man too, so I’m reading through these answers for help as well. I find if I ask myself “is this true? Is this necessary? Is this nice?” seems to help me not do it as much. Also finding a time to talk about household items/expectations so you don’t have to always nitpick. For example I expect us to lock the windows, turn off the heater and lights when we leave the house. So he knows that so then he learns to do it my way? My therapist told me Im a bit of a know-it-all. She’s right. So I try and remember that to not act like that. I try and remember my way is not the only way.
Doctors without boundaries ?
What's with all the slightly different worded reposts lately?? This is the third “my wife wants to be mr beast” post
True, you both need to get a gun and carry it at all times, and be ready to shoot to kill if he comes by.
didn't know you had gone through this tough life. sorry to hear it but you did grow strong. so i am proud of you.
Doesn’t matter if it happened long ago, she’s a cheater. She was going out to have sex with this guy and then still with you? Split the money and run. This is just what you found out, and you don’t even know if it’s the whole truth.
Did you tell her this ? Did you tell her that how you appreciate how much better she is than your ex ? Did you make her realise that you may be wanting her more than your ex ? She is not resenting , she is thinking that she may be a second choice. It’s your duty to make her understand and feel good that she is the most important person in your life . Good luck
Get paternity tests for the kids, then divorce his ass. He's going to have to pay a whole hell of a lot of child support.
None of your fucking business dude!
Yeah I'll go against the grain and say that part of problem is the husband's ego. You shouldn't need permission to give your friend an innocent gift. The nuance is that OP's actions and refusal to see things from the husband's perspective are actively hurting his friends marriage. If you care about someone and even if your intentions are good I feel like you consider all the ramifications of your gesture. They could be a really good couple who are having some financial issues right now and this is just exacerbating the issue. Relationships are not black and white. If the intentions were good then there was not anything wrong with giving the car. But it seems like OP is more concerned with being right than actually receiving any advice to remedy the situation he caused.
Don't date people like that. Like, just be single if you have to.
Oh yea, I would definitely talk to him about it..Just approach him in a casual manner though like “I'd like to have a talk about what happened on our walk the other day, I honestly didn't appreciate you forcing me to walk faster since I thought we were there to walk TOGETHER” Also tell him how his attitude about it didn't sit too well with you…
Brutal… Honestly brutal. The harshness of reality laid bare. Well, I think he got his answer!
Listen to those feelings of dread, they tell you how you really feel about things.
You want the things he describes someday long in the future, when you're an adult, which developmentally isn't for about another seven years.
You may love him, but love isn't enough. To make it work with someone, you need to love them, want the same things, as them, at the same time and also in the same place .
So don't give up being a kid to fit his vision or timeline, if he doesn't want to wait, he ain't it.
Yeah true, just want to be as gentle as I can with a delicate situation. Thank you for your comments
As a man I can tell you he's stringing you along. A man that's really into you wouldn't just say he “likes you and he doesn't see a problem with continueing”
God no. He would be much more invested. That sentence sounds so insincere. Like he doesn't care if you'd kept dating, but you're not the best of the best either.
It is easy to read a man in his texting behavior. When I converse with people I am not really interested in, I reply just like you described. Perhaps he just wants to keep you around because its a safer bet.
Oh I would bring it up. Based on how your boyfriend keeps bringing her up I don’t think he reached out to her bc I think, based on how they didn’t talk at the wedding really, he would be more secretive about it. So for me the red flag is coming from Sydney. From how you put it you and Sydney talked for some time yet she didn’t follow you on insta or try to keep in touch, but she is for someone she said 2 words to? Red flag. Either way I would try to nip it in the bud bc whatever they are talking about it seems to be deep conversation for him to know she would really enjoy living near y’all. You have a right to feel weird bc this is weird and I’m just hoping your bf is talking to her bc he thinks you’re talking to her too and not bc of anything bad. I’m wishing you the best and good luck with whatever you choose to do.
I’m sorry, I really should’ve added the “/s” at the end here.
I’d broach the subject a bit more delicately than with your close friends, but still inquire what’s up. I can definitely sense your frustration which is why I made the above joke. And yes, it was a joke. Please don’t tell your friend that! LOL!
Have you considered picking up the food and taking it to her house? Or vice versa? A lot of people have increased social anxiety since Covid.
For real this time, “Hey friend – we’ve been trying to get together for dinner for a long time, but you cancel every time. Would it be better if we pick up food and eat at one or our houses instead?”
Because they’re dumb.
Glad your sister found a resolution.
That is how things would be when the kids were smaller. We dropped them off and picked them up after work. It worked really well but then my mom started a relationship and we both felt it would be better for the kids to be at our place. After a while, we got to know the person a little more and he was at work when the kids were there regardless so I suggested it go back to how is was before as it helped avoid issues. He doesn’t really agree with that solution.
Thanks. I agree, I've seen this too. It's also to validate to themselves that they are just as [insert attribute they are envious of] as the girl he's with.
I don't get this mindset though. Like no offence to people who do this, but some men/women will sleep with a large chunk of people that come onto them. They're not picky. So sleeping with or “taking” another woman's man really proves nothing about you compared to her. It really just proves that the guy or girl in question likes sex and/or attention and is a cheat anyway.
I'm sure there are more accurate ways to validate yourself because this just proves nothing.
As an African American, I don't know my family's true name but the name we bear has been with us for 150+ years.
You did nothing wrong whatsoever. You weren't even on a break. You were single. In a way he's controlling and manipulative.
You're doing great?
As a woman who has always known I don't want kids, I've had two long term boyfriends who agreed no kids worked for them, and have plenty of male friends who have expressed never wanting to be a dad/caretaker of children.
Maybe it's not the norm, but doesn't seem that uncommon in my corner of the world. I'm sure this varies a lot based on cultural influence. I like in a pretty progressive city.
No he couldn't because it was a confidential meeting by the definition that the owner had decided who was to have access to the information and the meeting invite.
That's the risk of working with someone you are in a romantic relationship with. There will be times that you can't discuss work.
You can't tell anyone to do anything, unfortunately. It's something that has to come from within and some people lack understanding.
What? You are an adult. Pay your own way and have cats. You don’t need anyones permission to do anything. Your BF is controlling and that is a huge red flag. I strongly suggest that you stop seeing him permanently.
They are divorced, marriage counseling is for married people.
Easy work this one.
Never trust that human again, they've displayed their true colours and they're ugly and clash. Bye.
The friend that's upset about what you said? Own what you said. Deny anything that you didn't say. Apologise if you feel you need to.
You can be petty and say what she said to you about her but it's just drama and have you got that energy? It's your call.
This is why being autistic can be a massive improvement on interpersonal shit. I can tell each and every one of my friends that they're a cunt. They know I mean it. I know I mean it. We accept it, we move on. My friends are cunts because I pick cunts to be friends with, we are all a bit too honest and terrible at pandering to each others feelings.
As a general life rule. If you wouldn't say something to someone's face, don't say it behind their back. That way, if it gets back to them you said it, you can say it to their face as well.
Give him time to tract to the shock. After a few days, if he hasn't turned back into a loving partner, then proceed as a single mom to be.
Not everyone reacts rational with surprising news. We all process in different ways at different times.
You should probably break up with this guy so he can find someone normal.
Do not promise anything – especially something this life-changing – to someone you've only been dating seven months.
If your name is on the house and loan, you go to a lawyer and offer him a contract to either buy you out for your estimated worth in the home, or if he refuses, you force him to sell so you can get out your portion.
Don't just give him the home. You have earned equity on it. Take that and get yourself a nice condo.
Start this off with a visit to a lawyer. Just because you aren't married doesn't mean you don't get to leave with anything.
Heart break is temporary. This isn't a time to think with your heart, though. Secure your bag, first.
what hell do other people's experiences matter? just ask her if you like her
Naked disagree. I am close friends with two people I’ve dated. I’ve been friends with them for years. Never cheated. So, I dunno. That sounds like a you problem.
Your message is too nice. You’re using too many words to explain why cheating on you is not ok. Send him the screenshots of his Tinder account and tell him it is over.
Maybe he’s ex mormon looool
Maybe he’s ex mormon looool
You know this is so wrong. I know if I saw your bf doing that in the street I would intervene. You should intervene. It isn’t a dog training method at all, it is a need in your bf to validate himself. Your dog doesn’t wilfully misunderstand. It’s understanding is not human. What is scary is how your bf doesn’t cope with situation: he will probably hit hit me children. So, you have had a go at being reasonable. I would now tell him that if he touched the dog again you are calling the police or the spca. Do it. Don’t stand by and agree to cruelty just because you like the rest of your bf. I fear for that poor animal. Find a good home for either the dog or the bf. I don’t care what kind of trauma bf suffered, he needs treatment.
There is reason to think it's deliberate: because if it wasn't a big deal, she would have told him outright immediately.
I didn't tell my girlfriend all my best friends histories, but she knew how I met them and what we did and why we're such good friends. That's how it just pops up.
And by friends, I mean person who has a regular presence in my life. If I'm dating you and an ex-fling hits me up once every 6 months and 9/10 times I ignore her, she gets no explanation.
“This is my friend Bob, we've been friends for 10 years. Ever since kids hahah”
Vs
“Oh that's just Stacey we met 2 years ago don't worry we're just pals”. Then 6 months in I drop that I was blowing Stacey's back out 6 months before we met.
Would I expect you to trust me? No, I wasn't transparent and I hid it because that relationship can be seen as inappropriate. I hid something potentially damaging to increase my odds with you, and when you were invested, I decided to drop it on you.
How is that any different from manipulation lol
How long ago was it? I'm sorry but the more you talk about this relationship it doesn't sound like a serious adult relationship.
Because they are your friends and you didn't check them when they insulted your guest. You're worse than them considering you're supposed to be the guys friend
Agreed. The question remains tho, would it even be worth the effort to salvage the marriage? If he treats her this way during sex, what's to stop him from treating her that way in every facet of their relationship? Of course only OP knows for sure.
Thanks. Makes sense. I just don’t want to sound needy with a conversation like that.
For me the issue is more with a drastic change in communication.
Do you think I should send her a text asking how she’s doing or should I just wait it out?
Your friend was rude in my opinion. It's really not as constructive as she may have thought. You however escalated. You should have said “I'm happy with the result and it makes me uncomfortable that you are giving me unsolicited advice when I'm simply trying to share my new look woth my friends.” Or something to that effect.
Yeah, that’s what I always tell myself. I want to believe it’s only a phase because she is stressed so much. But it doesn’t seem to improve unfortunately. I might try to talk with her again, thanks.
First step, get tested for STD's
Second, are you sure it is your child. DNA test to confirm this.
Take a step away from this and define what you want from this. I would suggest reaching out to others that can help support you going thru this.
I do. I’m sorry I can’t make you understand the way I feel about her and this. I am offended by what I perceive as your flippant callousness. I know I screwed up big, but I’m asking for sincere advice from a vulnerable place and your comments come off as sarcastic and dismissive. If I missed your intent by them, I’m sorry.
he has been a great partner until this. I can't think of any other selfish or inconsiderate behaviour. In the past when I've been ill, he's taken care of me and been loving and caring.
You mean when he wasn't horny. Now that he's feeling horny, what you're going through doesn't matter. He took care of you because he got sex without having to “go without” for “too long”.
I know I'm very emotional at the moment. That's why I wanted to check that I'm not overreacting by being upset and angry
No, you're UNDER-reacting, this behavior is utterly unacceptable. This silent treatment is also seriously coercive. Nothing about his behavior is OK here.
I agree that he is in tge wrong, by asking how to resolve this, I guess I was hoping to get some suggestions on how to address this because he's not talking to me and I don't want to ignore this and frankly I need his help at least for the next couple of days. I don't have anyone nearby to go stay with and didn't think it would be necessary
Maybe it wouldn't be necessary, but do you really see this guy, now that he's shown how little he REALLY thinks of you when you're going through something really tough, as lifetime material? His exploitative behavior, wanting sex from you when you're recovering from a miscarriage and infection when you're going through so much physically and emotionally, AND HE ISN'T EVEN LETTING YOU HEAL UP, is just insane.
Lady, I'm a dad, I could not even IMAGINE treating any woman, much less the woman I'm trying to have kids with, the way your husband has been treating you. He has proven to you that your value to him is solely in the sexual gratification you can give him. How can you ever see the guy in the same light again? This guy's behavior is seriously disgusting. As your husband, he should be looking to protect you and give you time to heal, not use you for sex regardless of how you feel about it. You're right to be upset by this, his thinking it's “unreasonable” for you not to act as his concubine at this moment is insane and disgusting. Did I say disgusting twice? Well, it's more than twice as disgusting as usual.
Kind of an overreaction. Very thing has been perfect up until now. He does one stupid thing and now you suggest couples counseling? Jesus, you must be a counselor or have stock in counseling organizations.
The Geneva Convention outlaws what I would recommend you do in this situation, but it would involve gibbets at the base minimum and go from there.
DUMP HIM.
You were in the hospital and your father had just recently died
It doesn't matter if he is sorry
It doesn't matter if it truly was a one off mistake
The fact that he would even remotely consider cheating on you during this time in your life only serves to show you the kind of person he actually is
And he is not a good person
The only thing you can do is end the relationship and walk away….AND…you make sure your mutual friends know exactly what he did and that the cheating happened while you were in the hospital and dealing with the death of your father
People cheat all the time. Its a sad reality of life
but to cheat during this moment in your life? He doesn't deserve to walk away from this unscathed
You do know that MANY women purposely go after full custody just to hurt the man, right? In Minnesota, if you aren’t married to the mother, you have zero legal right to your children. A woman recently went missing in a Minnesota town near, and her children were removed from her boyfriend’s custody only because he had zero legal right to them and the mother (missing woman) was out of the picture.
You’re 22 and spell sex like “s3x” and think folks browsing this sub won’t know what head is.
Dump her because you’re too immature for a girlfriend.
Once you started enabling somebody, it's naked to stop it.
Because it means that one not only needs to confront the other one! But oneself. To find out why one does this.
This girl is playing her mothers bad conscious like a stradivarius master violin. Time for OP to stop that.
T
Oh girl, let me tell you something about feminism. You don't need to be getting all worked up over a man looking up his ex on Instagram or watching porn. You need to be more understanding of his needs as a man.
You see, men have urges and sometimes they need to indulge in those urges. It's not your job to police his behavior or make him feel bad for doing what comes naturally to him. If he wants to text people from his past, he should be allowed to do that too.
Instead of being so controlling and jealous, you should focus on being a supportive partner. Let him do what he wants and trust that he'll always come back to you. After all, isn't that what feminism is all about? Supporting each other's choices and empowering each other to live our best lives?
So don't sweat the small stuff, girl. Let him watch his porn and talk to his ex if he wants to. You'll be happier in the long run if you just let him do his thing.