It’s totally fine for a woman to be a SAH parent. The problem is when her partner (normally male) is pushing for it and it’s not really what she wants to do but she gets bullied into it. That seems to be a precursor to worse behavior.
Assuming it's an emergency, maybe you should have tried calling him first instead of texting? Some people can't express themselves well through text. Idk.
Honestly, people don't stay strippers if they can make better money elsewhere. It might make you uncomfortable but are you really ready for her to lean on your income alone and become a tradwife? I'd say the problem is you in this case, not her, but it's alright for you if your values make that a deal breaker. Maybe you got some introspection to do, if you really love her this much
I agree. Too many women think men watching porn or fantasizing about other women is a direct reflection of their feelings towards their partner or that is equals disloyalty. It doesn't.
No. An ultimatum is unnecessarily controlling. It says, “If you love me you would do this.”
Instead, create firm boundaries and stick to them.
Boundaries say “I love myself so therefore I won’t do this.”
There’s no joy in stalking to see how many women he’s following or liking. He’s right, staying with him while stalking his Instagram isn’t normal or healthy.
I’m not interested in cheating on Bob, because I really really love him and I would never do such thing to him. I can’t control my feelings towards Sean however and I don’t want him to leave his gf, I met her and she’s really nice. I just want to know if he (Sean) feels the same way, that’s it
sitting with it and smiling with it? thats weird. I have bears i used to hold to sleep, i have a pillow now that i hold to sleep out of habit. I don't smile at it. That's just creepy
I don't think OP has that type of self respect based off her comments. Trying to blame the woman instead off the cheater, not cutting of contact, still trying to convince herself there's any reason to figure anything out when her bf is just a piece of sh#t…
Most colleges and universities have one available for students. Additionally, many schools have the fee already covered by your tuition. However, don't let me push you into it if it's not something that you want to do for yourself. I just absolutely love lifting.
My comment was not meant to blame the OP at all, I was just stating what many people know: that such changes can break a person, it's nobody's fault if that happens it's just a sad reality that it often does
Just leave her be. She's trying to set a boundary, she's given you chances to improve how you treat her and you haven't. Unfriending is not the same as an invitation to pester her. If she wants to continue a relationship with you she'll reach out, but she won't
Yes I feel you… I have no idea if he even has plans for “getting over” or healing from it. I think part of him thinks that if he heals from it, he will forget his brother or something.
Nope, he’s not masturbating. Or so he told me. That was one of my first questions. He said he doesn’t want to and doesn’t think about it.
Because he is wanting to bathe the cat four times a week despite that being harmful for cats, because he got into a relationship with a cat owner knowing he was allergic. If this was going to be such a problem he should have never entered into this relationship potentially causing a perfectly happy cat to be displaced to another home.
You sounds so ugly on the inside. Btw I’ve been happily committed and monogamous with very few partners. I’ve always been monogamous, that doesn’t change the fact that this girl did NOTHING WRONG. You are a disgusting human being for assuming these things- literal pig.
This is one of those sticky situations in which people want there to be a 'bad guy' but there isn't one. It'd be easy to say that your partner is just shallow and that you deserve better and blah blah blah, but it's not really that simple.
No one chooses to be gay or straight or anything in between, right? That's because attraction is an involuntary response. You can't help what gets you going and, while it's possible to fake it, that's not really helping anyone. Over time, people change. Sometimes it's on purpose and sometimes it just kind of happens. Weight gain can kind of sneak up on you, especially when you're getting comfortable in a relationship. And as a person loses unhealthy habits, it can be hot to keep putting up with being around those habits. I can deal with people smoking, even though I don't anymore, but it's not the greatest thing to be around, and when I quit herb I had to actually break away from the friends that smoked every day.
And, unfortunately, it's not terribly very hot to lose the lust in a relationship as the years go by. If one person starts feeling like the other is letting themselves go or making choices that is unattractive to them then it just compounds the issue, and that's not to say someone is 'wrong' for making those choices – they're not, but it IS an issue. A partner really can think of you as their best friend and still lose that lust for you.
You're at a point here where you have to have an honest conversation with yourself first and then with your partner. Are YOU happy with yourself right now and what do you see for yourself in the future? Do you think you'll ever lose that weight you put on or quit smoking? It's important to answer those questions and even more important to answer them WITHOUT regard for your partner. YOU should be happy with yourself FIRST. If you are happy with yourself then you should find a partner that is also happy with you.
I'm of the idea that a person should live their life however they want to. That includes having unhealthy habits if you're legitimately happy with yourself. IF and ONLY IF you're not happy with yourself should you worry about changing.
Then, when you know how you feel about yourself, you should talk with your partner about what the future could look like.
I don’t think one disagreement means we are incompatible? We have similar future interests and 98% of our views align this is just one of the things we don’t agree on
First of all, he's allowed to masturbate as much as he wants, that's not something she said bothers her, and masturbation does not equal porn. Second of all, he agreed to it. If she said “I don't want to be in a relationship where my partner brushes their teeth”, it's on the other person to say “that is a ridiculous demand and I can't accept it. Can we find a compromise or should we end things here?”. If you don't, and you say yes, then you become the asshole, regardless of how crazy their demand may be.
Partners who love each other agree on boundaries together and communicate when they need to change, they don't go and break it and then act like it was obvious it would be broken.
NTA. Just a bit spineless. He’s posting come get me posts aimed towards other women on a consistent basis and your question is whether it’s okay for you to post with your face blurred out? Come on. Why are you sticking around with this blatant disrespect?
If it bothers you that much, end the relationship. Her past won’t ever change and you can only decide whether or not you can live with it. Which it seems like you can’t. Nothing wrong with that. We have our deal breakers.
Ma’am you worked your ass off for that degree. Don’t you dare let anyone convince you to skip this! Did your family not even think about your graduation when planning this wedding? It’s not a preschool grad, you literally finished medical school!!
Your family sucks and you wouldn’t be wrong to remind them of that. Also you wouldn’t be wrong for telling them to absolutely fuck right off because while they can’t be forced to care or go, they came force you to not
A little sad or maybe annoyed, ok. But her reaction is cause for concern. May be wise to let a little time pass to let the dust settle, then have a conversation about where your relationship is heading. Potential red flag.
I have friends with crippling social anxiety, who I know have zero desire to do certain things that I find enjoyable. I've always given them a call.
“Hey I'm going to a concert for my birthday, would you want to come, or would you rather just have a hang some other time?”
I had a friend that didn't come to my wedding because of their social anxiety, but I still invited them. They took us to a nice dinner later on instead and I didn't get upset because we communicated.
A good friend gives you control over how you want to be included in special events.
Well, I know nothing of what they are doing so far. With that said, think about how he would be acting towards someone he has a crush, if he was single.
Tell him, you feel insecure regarding her, that you do not want him to cut her off, but you don't want their conversation to get intimate. You can also address how much they communicate if it affects your relationship with her. For example, if he interrupts your time together to message her, ask him to please not to do it.
You should also be the person he talks with about his feelings and worries. Tell you worry that she will be his emotional support, so he won't come to you with your problems and thoughts.
As someone who bruises easily, I, under no circumstances, would be able to remember how I got a bruise a month ago.
It looks like an area of bruising.
Are there any other actual things leading you to believe she’s cheating?
I would take a step back with this and remember that, if she hasn’t done anything, you obsessing over a bruise could be enough to end a relationship. Go get some therapy if you have trust issues going on.
It used to be all shared…I was at home so did a bit more but he cooked and cleaned.
I do think he wants to stay together now so I do everything. It was part of that stuff that made me leave as I wanted to get the balance back but he was just refusing.
I know he sounds awful…but it was so good for the first 10 years I was happy to step up and do more when it seemed he couldn't. It was such a change that I honestly believed it was temporary or medical. He was a really good guy, good husband and good dad. I believed in my heart he would find himself again.
I'm speaking to anyone who has downvoted. If that's not you, then no reason to defend yourself here.
No one is required to divulge anything about past sexual partners unless it involves STDs such as HIV. I'm not saying that her withholding information was the right thing to do, I'm saying that people here are so up their own ass with insecurities that they make judgement on a situation with limited information. Frankly, I find it entertaining with how many people don't realize they're projecting.
OP. Please don't make up your mind until you're able to have a conversation with her.
You sound unhinged
It’s totally fine for a woman to be a SAH parent. The problem is when her partner (normally male) is pushing for it and it’s not really what she wants to do but she gets bullied into it. That seems to be a precursor to worse behavior.
Assuming it's an emergency, maybe you should have tried calling him first instead of texting? Some people can't express themselves well through text. Idk.
The flirting is not your only problem.
Honestly, people don't stay strippers if they can make better money elsewhere. It might make you uncomfortable but are you really ready for her to lean on your income alone and become a tradwife? I'd say the problem is you in this case, not her, but it's alright for you if your values make that a deal breaker. Maybe you got some introspection to do, if you really love her this much
I agree. Too many women think men watching porn or fantasizing about other women is a direct reflection of their feelings towards their partner or that is equals disloyalty. It doesn't.
No. An ultimatum is unnecessarily controlling. It says, “If you love me you would do this.”
Instead, create firm boundaries and stick to them.
Boundaries say “I love myself so therefore I won’t do this.”
There’s no joy in stalking to see how many women he’s following or liking. He’s right, staying with him while stalking his Instagram isn’t normal or healthy.
Why is it a hard decision? What kind of person blocks their partner?
‘massive immaturity’ she is 19 what the fuck do you expect you crank
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I’m not interested in cheating on Bob, because I really really love him and I would never do such thing to him. I can’t control my feelings towards Sean however and I don’t want him to leave his gf, I met her and she’s really nice. I just want to know if he (Sean) feels the same way, that’s it
sitting with it and smiling with it? thats weird. I have bears i used to hold to sleep, i have a pillow now that i hold to sleep out of habit. I don't smile at it. That's just creepy
There’s no way to know from this whether Sean has a crush on you. The only way to find out is to find out.
Basically, you can cheat on your partner, leave your partner, online in the dark, or find some polyamory-style-solution.
Better to leave your partner than cheat on him.
It's entirely up to you:
You happy living with a cheater?
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Lost cause. They should have seperated years ago.
I don't think OP has that type of self respect based off her comments. Trying to blame the woman instead off the cheater, not cutting of contact, still trying to convince herself there's any reason to figure anything out when her bf is just a piece of sh#t…
Most colleges and universities have one available for students. Additionally, many schools have the fee already covered by your tuition. However, don't let me push you into it if it's not something that you want to do for yourself. I just absolutely love lifting.
You’re not over him are you
My comment was not meant to blame the OP at all, I was just stating what many people know: that such changes can break a person, it's nobody's fault if that happens it's just a sad reality that it often does
Just leave her be. She's trying to set a boundary, she's given you chances to improve how you treat her and you haven't. Unfriending is not the same as an invitation to pester her. If she wants to continue a relationship with you she'll reach out, but she won't
Yes I feel you… I have no idea if he even has plans for “getting over” or healing from it. I think part of him thinks that if he heals from it, he will forget his brother or something.
Nope, he’s not masturbating. Or so he told me. That was one of my first questions. He said he doesn’t want to and doesn’t think about it.
Tell him.
Yo here dude hands you a bullet almost killed you.
You aren't asking for “help”. You are asking for him to be an involved parent to this child and a partner to you.
You aren't asking for “help”. You are asking for him to be an involved parent to this child and a partner to you.
Isnt it the same thing haha?
Right. I said that. Its fine to spoil one another.
I just don't get the mentality behind splitting everything all the damn time.
You can still have equality other than digging for your calculator to split the bill in half.
Maybe don't date broke people? /s
She told you she was raped and you’re concerned with whether she’s messing around with you?
Because he is wanting to bathe the cat four times a week despite that being harmful for cats, because he got into a relationship with a cat owner knowing he was allergic. If this was going to be such a problem he should have never entered into this relationship potentially causing a perfectly happy cat to be displaced to another home.
You sounds so ugly on the inside. Btw I’ve been happily committed and monogamous with very few partners. I’ve always been monogamous, that doesn’t change the fact that this girl did NOTHING WRONG. You are a disgusting human being for assuming these things- literal pig.
This is one of those sticky situations in which people want there to be a 'bad guy' but there isn't one. It'd be easy to say that your partner is just shallow and that you deserve better and blah blah blah, but it's not really that simple.
No one chooses to be gay or straight or anything in between, right? That's because attraction is an involuntary response. You can't help what gets you going and, while it's possible to fake it, that's not really helping anyone. Over time, people change. Sometimes it's on purpose and sometimes it just kind of happens. Weight gain can kind of sneak up on you, especially when you're getting comfortable in a relationship. And as a person loses unhealthy habits, it can be hot to keep putting up with being around those habits. I can deal with people smoking, even though I don't anymore, but it's not the greatest thing to be around, and when I quit herb I had to actually break away from the friends that smoked every day.
And, unfortunately, it's not terribly very hot to lose the lust in a relationship as the years go by. If one person starts feeling like the other is letting themselves go or making choices that is unattractive to them then it just compounds the issue, and that's not to say someone is 'wrong' for making those choices – they're not, but it IS an issue. A partner really can think of you as their best friend and still lose that lust for you.
You're at a point here where you have to have an honest conversation with yourself first and then with your partner. Are YOU happy with yourself right now and what do you see for yourself in the future? Do you think you'll ever lose that weight you put on or quit smoking? It's important to answer those questions and even more important to answer them WITHOUT regard for your partner. YOU should be happy with yourself FIRST. If you are happy with yourself then you should find a partner that is also happy with you.
I'm of the idea that a person should live their life however they want to. That includes having unhealthy habits if you're legitimately happy with yourself. IF and ONLY IF you're not happy with yourself should you worry about changing.
Then, when you know how you feel about yourself, you should talk with your partner about what the future could look like.
You deserve someone who will appreciate you as a boyfriend and put you as a priority.
I don’t think one disagreement means we are incompatible? We have similar future interests and 98% of our views align this is just one of the things we don’t agree on
First of all, he's allowed to masturbate as much as he wants, that's not something she said bothers her, and masturbation does not equal porn. Second of all, he agreed to it. If she said “I don't want to be in a relationship where my partner brushes their teeth”, it's on the other person to say “that is a ridiculous demand and I can't accept it. Can we find a compromise or should we end things here?”. If you don't, and you say yes, then you become the asshole, regardless of how crazy their demand may be.
Partners who love each other agree on boundaries together and communicate when they need to change, they don't go and break it and then act like it was obvious it would be broken.
You need to listen to everyone in this thread. Also out this guy and the others for going along with it…..
NTA. Just a bit spineless. He’s posting come get me posts aimed towards other women on a consistent basis and your question is whether it’s okay for you to post with your face blurred out? Come on. Why are you sticking around with this blatant disrespect?
This seems like a huge overreaction. I swear 70% of the times my boob gets grabbed, it’s my husband in his sleep.
If it bothers you that much, end the relationship. Her past won’t ever change and you can only decide whether or not you can live with it. Which it seems like you can’t. Nothing wrong with that. We have our deal breakers.
That is not the definition of rape anywhere
If you can, would be a solid bro move to let the other guy know his partner is also trash so he has the opportunity to take it out as you are doing.
You don’t.
You take your shallow self and stay away from him.
He’s made improvements to himself. For himself, and you are likely to derail everything.
Ma’am you worked your ass off for that degree. Don’t you dare let anyone convince you to skip this! Did your family not even think about your graduation when planning this wedding? It’s not a preschool grad, you literally finished medical school!!
Your family sucks and you wouldn’t be wrong to remind them of that. Also you wouldn’t be wrong for telling them to absolutely fuck right off because while they can’t be forced to care or go, they came force you to not
Keyword here is “Before”
A little sad or maybe annoyed, ok. But her reaction is cause for concern. May be wise to let a little time pass to let the dust settle, then have a conversation about where your relationship is heading. Potential red flag.
Yeah i guess each to their own
I have friends with crippling social anxiety, who I know have zero desire to do certain things that I find enjoyable. I've always given them a call.
“Hey I'm going to a concert for my birthday, would you want to come, or would you rather just have a hang some other time?”
I had a friend that didn't come to my wedding because of their social anxiety, but I still invited them. They took us to a nice dinner later on instead and I didn't get upset because we communicated.
A good friend gives you control over how you want to be included in special events.
Well, I know nothing of what they are doing so far. With that said, think about how he would be acting towards someone he has a crush, if he was single.
Tell him, you feel insecure regarding her, that you do not want him to cut her off, but you don't want their conversation to get intimate. You can also address how much they communicate if it affects your relationship with her. For example, if he interrupts your time together to message her, ask him to please not to do it.
You should also be the person he talks with about his feelings and worries. Tell you worry that she will be his emotional support, so he won't come to you with your problems and thoughts.
As someone who bruises easily, I, under no circumstances, would be able to remember how I got a bruise a month ago.
It looks like an area of bruising.
Are there any other actual things leading you to believe she’s cheating?
I would take a step back with this and remember that, if she hasn’t done anything, you obsessing over a bruise could be enough to end a relationship. Go get some therapy if you have trust issues going on.
It used to be all shared…I was at home so did a bit more but he cooked and cleaned.
I do think he wants to stay together now so I do everything. It was part of that stuff that made me leave as I wanted to get the balance back but he was just refusing.
I know he sounds awful…but it was so good for the first 10 years I was happy to step up and do more when it seemed he couldn't. It was such a change that I honestly believed it was temporary or medical. He was a really good guy, good husband and good dad. I believed in my heart he would find himself again.
I love that ♥️♥️
All your dad seems to care about is control instead of your wellbeing. Don't let him control you
I'm speaking to anyone who has downvoted. If that's not you, then no reason to defend yourself here.
No one is required to divulge anything about past sexual partners unless it involves STDs such as HIV. I'm not saying that her withholding information was the right thing to do, I'm saying that people here are so up their own ass with insecurities that they make judgement on a situation with limited information. Frankly, I find it entertaining with how many people don't realize they're projecting.
OP. Please don't make up your mind until you're able to have a conversation with her.
Your poor brother.
Thanks for reminding me how good I have it.