You’ll online. It’s sucks now but it’s one birthday. Hopefully you have filed first. If not I don’t know wth you are waiting for. She is openly disrespecting you. Get off your ass and hire a pi. You need loads of evidence. Now who cares about a birthday, get up and get aggressive about this right now. You’ll have time to sulk over needless crap, after the divorce is finalized and you have coke out the other side financially sound. Not the time to cry. Time to to get angry and methodically act.
Thing is….adulting is naked . Life is very hot. Even harder with depression. She needs to learn to manage. It's going to be hot but with everything she does she's going to have a little self esteem boost cuz she did something on her own You do everything atm which isn't helping her
First long distance won’t work for long. Second ask him what he was thinking or if he sent the wrong thing meant for someone else. Been known to happen. Third his greatest gift is to get together (you or him traveling) to spend time together. Some people don’t gift an adult on their birthday so at least there is the thoughtfulness of that. Lastly a cardinal rule is when asked what you want as a gift don’t specify to be surprised and test the level of thought your getting.
And there is a lot of them that realized they don't want it and left their partners & kids. Some don't even pay child support. You are in for a rude surprise but it's your life.
All I can suggest is therapy. Your wife might have a personality disorder or she might just be a manipulator, hopefully therapy can help you figure that out.
It is manipulation. She's not allowing you to be upset, she makes everything about herself, she turns herself into the victim when you're hurting and is literally trying to frame you as an abuser.
Just walk away. Next time don't agree to be exclusive until you have seen where your partner lives, he let's you visit him often. Don't rush. You got sucked in. Be a little more diligent. Google potential partners early. Do some digging around. People will lie to your face.
These are important things to consider for sure, but keep in mind that these appear to be your strongest reasons for staying with him.
These are not good reasons to stay in a relationship, if you can't break up today, start working on an exit plan. Try and find a new place to stay, if you're paying rent then you can pay rent somewhere else. You might need a month or two to get everything together and save up for moving costs, but you can get it done.
You have an associates from an Ivy and you’re an adjunct professor on the side while you’re a director at your company? I have several academics in my life as well as people high up in the private sector, and I call bullshit.
It’s confusing because he has always said he has never cheated and hates people who do. So I fully trusted him but I don’t talk to my friends the way he is talking to this woman. From some of the message he clearly tells me one thing and her another thing so he’s lying to me face sometimes. But I feel I have no other opinions but to come back after my trip. I moved countries to be with him. I have no family here to go to.
I don’t think I even want a friendship I’m beyond over it. At first I wanted to try but if you sleep with someone I start losing feelings I don’t feel that attracted anymore.
Wait. Was your BF home when you’d been kicked in the head, had blurry vision, were exhausted, had a headache, had neck pain, and were told by professionals that you should go to the ER? I don’t even understand why riding a bus is part of this equation. Why didn’t he get off his ass and drive you to the ER immediately?
He is allowed to prefer fitter body types and you are allowed to leave him because you choose to not fit into that mold and because the way he go about it harms your self-esteem. Take it from an old guy who's been training in the gym for 30 plus years and who looks better than 99% of the 25-year-olds at my gym, 130 lb at 5'2 is nowhere near what I would call obese or extremely overweight. You literally are carrying just a few extra pounds. If you have a muscular build you could maybe even say you're not overweight at all. Don't feel bad about yourself there is a huge percentage of men who would be very attracted to a 5' 2 130 lb girl.
Thank you so much for the reply ❤️. I am meeting him today and I will stay at his place until Sunday. If he does something to hurt me I’ll end it right then and there because I already told him right after that horrible night. I guess he’s just not very experienced but that’s still a red flag for me yk cuz he wasn’t listening to me. He’s also like shoving it in when I am dry which is not pleasant at all and he does nothing to make me wet lmao.
×Yes, you need a prenup regardless of his predatory ways. ×Yes, it's extremely concerning and creepy. ×No, you won't break up with him. If you were that bothered by it, you won't be asking strangers what to do about the discovery of your fiance going to a high school prom with his 18-year-old girlfriend. I hope you don't have teenage neighbours.
So because the relationship is new it was okay for to fuck around with others and explore other guys as options?? Nah it's wrong no matter how long they had been together and 20 is old enough to know that. The fact that she hid it for so long is reason to believe it went further. Find out about the shady shit and usually more that's not known.
It is only 3-3-1/2 hours but I do not have a car. I would need bus or rental AND my job is a family owned one site business
Yep, thanks for confirming my feelings! Appreciate it!
Condoms fail. They're roughly 80-85% effective with typical use.
If you haven't taken a pregnancy test, take one anyway. Just in case.
This is a winning comment
You’ll online. It’s sucks now but it’s one birthday. Hopefully you have filed first. If not I don’t know wth you are waiting for. She is openly disrespecting you. Get off your ass and hire a pi. You need loads of evidence. Now who cares about a birthday, get up and get aggressive about this right now. You’ll have time to sulk over needless crap, after the divorce is finalized and you have coke out the other side financially sound. Not the time to cry. Time to to get angry and methodically act.
You could make the same arguement for sleeping with someone that's not your partner. If you're not insecure, why would you care?
Him
I love how they say they can’t respond directly to you… because they blocked you lmao
If they did have a daughter, that kid would be in a no-win situation.
“Oh you're going in to STEM? Don't be silly, girls like you are too stupid and emotional to handle it”
“Oh you're NOT going into STEM? See, girls just aren't good enough for the REAL subjects”
OP, with guys like this, you can never win. So long as their ego is in the way, they'll never see you as good enough.
Don't date sexists. It's as simple as that.
The messages were they flirty or something that if your boyfriend saw, he wouldn't be happy.
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??
Get forced into it? Get forced into a divorce? Not sure what you mean
If he wants alone time he needs to wait for you to go on your own or gtfo himself
Ten year age difference. Says it all.
Not being a good listener and not communicating how I feel to him.
The ONLY reason a married 27 year old wife goes to clubs without you is to get attention from other men. Period.
lol that's horseshit.
Sure, why not?
Just tell her you'll crash over at your ex-girlfriend's place.
Problem solved.
I'm not entirely the problem, read my final thoughts comment.
Thing is….adulting is naked . Life is very hot. Even harder with depression. She needs to learn to manage. It's going to be hot but with everything she does she's going to have a little self esteem boost cuz she did something on her own You do everything atm which isn't helping her
Believe it or not I've got drone footage
First long distance won’t work for long. Second ask him what he was thinking or if he sent the wrong thing meant for someone else. Been known to happen. Third his greatest gift is to get together (you or him traveling) to spend time together. Some people don’t gift an adult on their birthday so at least there is the thoughtfulness of that. Lastly a cardinal rule is when asked what you want as a gift don’t specify to be surprised and test the level of thought your getting.
And there is a lot of them that realized they don't want it and left their partners & kids. Some don't even pay child support. You are in for a rude surprise but it's your life.
You’ve already talked to him. Give him a heads-up on the divorce and he’s just going to try to make leaving difficult for you.
That’s insane. Why do you need the “friend”?
All I can suggest is therapy. Your wife might have a personality disorder or she might just be a manipulator, hopefully therapy can help you figure that out.
It is manipulation. She's not allowing you to be upset, she makes everything about herself, she turns herself into the victim when you're hurting and is literally trying to frame you as an abuser.
Walk away.
I would be very reluctant to open that can of worms for little up no personal gain.
He choked you and you are still thinking about keeping a relationship with him?
Wow, I guess this is not a red flag for you.
Just walk away. Next time don't agree to be exclusive until you have seen where your partner lives, he let's you visit him often. Don't rush. You got sucked in. Be a little more diligent. Google potential partners early. Do some digging around. People will lie to your face.
These are important things to consider for sure, but keep in mind that these appear to be your strongest reasons for staying with him.
These are not good reasons to stay in a relationship, if you can't break up today, start working on an exit plan. Try and find a new place to stay, if you're paying rent then you can pay rent somewhere else. You might need a month or two to get everything together and save up for moving costs, but you can get it done.
You are too young. I know it sounds dismissive. Your brain is still maturing give yourself a break and enjoy life.
Haha I'd like the other side too and don't see the same either.
Lol
Sure sounds like him. ???
This post reeks of creative writing…
You have an associates from an Ivy and you’re an adjunct professor on the side while you’re a director at your company? I have several academics in my life as well as people high up in the private sector, and I call bullshit.
Wow you seem awful, and so does he. Leave him and work on yourself.
He is a Dr. and he is your dad.
He is worried about you and he knows all too well how it can affect your health.
It is probably killing him seeing you like this.
HOWEVER~ you are an adult and as long as you are supporting yourself, and are fully aware of what problems your weight can do he needs to back off.
Have you ever sat down with him and have a heart to heart about how bad you feel and how you are considering cutting him out if he doesnt stop?
It’s confusing because he has always said he has never cheated and hates people who do. So I fully trusted him but I don’t talk to my friends the way he is talking to this woman. From some of the message he clearly tells me one thing and her another thing so he’s lying to me face sometimes. But I feel I have no other opinions but to come back after my trip. I moved countries to be with him. I have no family here to go to.
You need to end this friendship, if your friend can't take a no then you have a problem
I don’t think I even want a friendship I’m beyond over it. At first I wanted to try but if you sleep with someone I start losing feelings I don’t feel that attracted anymore.
Wait. Was your BF home when you’d been kicked in the head, had blurry vision, were exhausted, had a headache, had neck pain, and were told by professionals that you should go to the ER? I don’t even understand why riding a bus is part of this equation. Why didn’t he get off his ass and drive you to the ER immediately?
He is allowed to prefer fitter body types and you are allowed to leave him because you choose to not fit into that mold and because the way he go about it harms your self-esteem. Take it from an old guy who's been training in the gym for 30 plus years and who looks better than 99% of the 25-year-olds at my gym, 130 lb at 5'2 is nowhere near what I would call obese or extremely overweight. You literally are carrying just a few extra pounds. If you have a muscular build you could maybe even say you're not overweight at all. Don't feel bad about yourself there is a huge percentage of men who would be very attracted to a 5' 2 130 lb girl.
Thank you so much for the reply ❤️. I am meeting him today and I will stay at his place until Sunday. If he does something to hurt me I’ll end it right then and there because I already told him right after that horrible night. I guess he’s just not very experienced but that’s still a red flag for me yk cuz he wasn’t listening to me. He’s also like shoving it in when I am dry which is not pleasant at all and he does nothing to make me wet lmao.
×Yes, you need a prenup regardless of his predatory ways. ×Yes, it's extremely concerning and creepy. ×No, you won't break up with him. If you were that bothered by it, you won't be asking strangers what to do about the discovery of your fiance going to a high school prom with his 18-year-old girlfriend. I hope you don't have teenage neighbours.
Good on the Ex for cutting out snakes and trash from his life. Your relationship is either doomed or perfect, because you're both shitty.
So because the relationship is new it was okay for to fuck around with others and explore other guys as options?? Nah it's wrong no matter how long they had been together and 20 is old enough to know that. The fact that she hid it for so long is reason to believe it went further. Find out about the shady shit and usually more that's not known.