So here's what you do. You block her on everything, move out & move on. She's clearly going to cheat if she hasn't already. You arguing with her is a waste of time, she's already showed her colours, move on.
You should have a talk with about respecting other peoples privacy – even that (or more so) of a baby or toddler. Just because they can't speak up for themselves or defend themselves against intrusive adults doesn't mean she can do whatever she wants with them.
I'm a bit taken aback that the parents of that girl didn't stop her – or you for that matter.
Umm, 10-15 minutes late here and there is acceptable. Hours every time, it’s not time management, it’s something is up. Girl, he may be married or have a gf.
Well easy solution stop buying into it. It’s not that hard it very simple it’s just you gonna have to put your feelings for her on the side and make a decision.
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Hey OP I think you should divorce your wife. She deserves better. You’re a pos who lacks empathy and doesn’t consider her work significant. If what she added to the household isn’t as major as you think then why is it affecting you so much. If you don’t hire a cleaner, or a cook for her, please know that you’re disgusting.
As a former Catholic, I'd recommend you speak with your spiritual leaders/advisors about this. Not because I think they will help (not if they're anything like they were back when my mom and I went) but because they're supposed to be your support system and you need to see exactly how supportive and helpful they are or aren't and get a good idea of what your life is going to be like if you're part of the church. If you want to join this place, it's better to do it with at least somewhat open eyes. You're not just committing your life to him; you're committing your life to THEM.
Is it ever acceptable to willingly cheat on your spouse?
Not that @chipmunkkid was proper for saying “just divorce”, but I’ll disagree with your stance on a divorce always completely blowing up your life.
Divorce may or may not be a simple decision depending on the circumstances, but once you’ve decided to cheat on your spouse you’ve broken the agreements of your relationship, meaning you’re silently ending your relationship.
Generally I’d avoid rejecting someone for physical features they can’t change. ie I like a full head of hair, so I’m not going to tell a man that I’m not attracted to them because they’re balding.
“I don’t think I feel that way about you” gets the message across just fine.
Your love for her is leading you into a very bad place and is keeping you in this relationship, a relationship that is just so incredibly bad for you. If you took away your emotional feeling for her, what exactly is there here to keep?
She is like everyone and yes, she has the capacity to heal and be great etc, etc, but why should she do at your expense?
You are quite literally setting yourself on fire to keep her warm and what's worse, she is barely acknowledging the burning smell.
So sorry OP, she is still incredibly toxic and it is slowly killing you.
Yet you’re making up a false narrative and claiming it’s reality just because you believe it. In spite of everything else people are saying.
Go test your reality with an open conversation or else you’ll sit there feeling all butthurt for no reason and intentionally provoke fights to validate it.
You would be thinking about incomes and jobs, and how to budget for a home and child care over the next 30 plus years. You wouldn't be focused on concerts and wedding details.
Common courtsey is she said hello. Lack of common courtsey is he grumbled a whatsup and hid in his cave. Now I’m all up for peace and quiet when your head hurts, I’ve got debilitating migraines myself, but somehow I always manage to use my big girl world and say “aww nice to see you but I’m not feeling well so will leave you to your catchup, enjoy”. Not hard. So OP YTA for me…
You just have to gently express your concerns. Without any hint of accusation or distrust make it clear that you aren’t interested in an open relationship. Add that you support her wish to support her friend. Stress that you trust her fully to respect the boundaries that are common and reasonable in a monogamous relationship. It’s often best to have regular calm but candid conversations. It’s a good habit for a couple to have. De-escalate constantly. She’s young and may see this as an accusation rather than a clarification. Hold a calm space.
This could go wrong if you learn that she doesn’t want a monogamous relationship but at least you’ll know the reality you’re in and you’ll be able to move forward.
Umm…he needs to see a doctor maybe?
So here's what you do. You block her on everything, move out & move on. She's clearly going to cheat if she hasn't already. You arguing with her is a waste of time, she's already showed her colours, move on.
You should have a talk with about respecting other peoples privacy – even that (or more so) of a baby or toddler. Just because they can't speak up for themselves or defend themselves against intrusive adults doesn't mean she can do whatever she wants with them.
I'm a bit taken aback that the parents of that girl didn't stop her – or you for that matter.
It's not genetically impossible and AncestryDNA is higher resolution than paternity testing anyway.
Actually dying at “movie romance” lmao what
Umm, 10-15 minutes late here and there is acceptable. Hours every time, it’s not time management, it’s something is up. Girl, he may be married or have a gf.
He believed his parents….how old is he?! I can’t believe this is real life
Well easy solution stop buying into it. It’s not that hard it very simple it’s just you gonna have to put your feelings for her on the side and make a decision.
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Hey OP I think you should divorce your wife. She deserves better. You’re a pos who lacks empathy and doesn’t consider her work significant. If what she added to the household isn’t as major as you think then why is it affecting you so much. If you don’t hire a cleaner, or a cook for her, please know that you’re disgusting.
As a former Catholic, I'd recommend you speak with your spiritual leaders/advisors about this. Not because I think they will help (not if they're anything like they were back when my mom and I went) but because they're supposed to be your support system and you need to see exactly how supportive and helpful they are or aren't and get a good idea of what your life is going to be like if you're part of the church. If you want to join this place, it's better to do it with at least somewhat open eyes. You're not just committing your life to him; you're committing your life to THEM.
He did something without her consent, that‘s abuse. You think she is supposed to take it because he has trauma himself? He literally pissed on her.
4 vacations you say…?! And all I have to do is wank for some internet rando? Sold!
Lol sorry, my last comment was entirely sarcastic.
Is it ever acceptable to willingly cheat on your spouse?
Not that @chipmunkkid was proper for saying “just divorce”, but I’ll disagree with your stance on a divorce always completely blowing up your life.
Divorce may or may not be a simple decision depending on the circumstances, but once you’ve decided to cheat on your spouse you’ve broken the agreements of your relationship, meaning you’re silently ending your relationship.
Generally I’d avoid rejecting someone for physical features they can’t change. ie I like a full head of hair, so I’m not going to tell a man that I’m not attracted to them because they’re balding.
“I don’t think I feel that way about you” gets the message across just fine.
This is not about her toxic past OP.
This is most definitely about her toxic present!
Your love for her is leading you into a very bad place and is keeping you in this relationship, a relationship that is just so incredibly bad for you. If you took away your emotional feeling for her, what exactly is there here to keep?
She is like everyone and yes, she has the capacity to heal and be great etc, etc, but why should she do at your expense?
You are quite literally setting yourself on fire to keep her warm and what's worse, she is barely acknowledging the burning smell.
So sorry OP, she is still incredibly toxic and it is slowly killing you.
Yet you’re making up a false narrative and claiming it’s reality just because you believe it. In spite of everything else people are saying.
Go test your reality with an open conversation or else you’ll sit there feeling all butthurt for no reason and intentionally provoke fights to validate it.
You would be thinking about incomes and jobs, and how to budget for a home and child care over the next 30 plus years. You wouldn't be focused on concerts and wedding details.
Common courtsey is she said hello. Lack of common courtsey is he grumbled a whatsup and hid in his cave. Now I’m all up for peace and quiet when your head hurts, I’ve got debilitating migraines myself, but somehow I always manage to use my big girl world and say “aww nice to see you but I’m not feeling well so will leave you to your catchup, enjoy”. Not hard. So OP YTA for me…
Your parents said they “can't wait for you to move out” ?
Yup, found the abusive ones, and… Where you and your sister learned it from.
You just have to gently express your concerns. Without any hint of accusation or distrust make it clear that you aren’t interested in an open relationship. Add that you support her wish to support her friend. Stress that you trust her fully to respect the boundaries that are common and reasonable in a monogamous relationship. It’s often best to have regular calm but candid conversations. It’s a good habit for a couple to have. De-escalate constantly. She’s young and may see this as an accusation rather than a clarification. Hold a calm space.
This could go wrong if you learn that she doesn’t want a monogamous relationship but at least you’ll know the reality you’re in and you’ll be able to move forward.
She's safe where she is in the appartment she has. You want her to move. Why would she give up her safety? She has a child to think of.
What wasn’t helpful was having a baby in this environment
You may need some distance from the relationship and possibly have a little fun on your own with someone else; and see what happens