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Date: November 27, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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You know? But you’re with him so obviously you don’t.
Stop. Stop with these “rules” regarding this situation. She was assaulted. Period. Someone who has had too much to drink can’t consent. You need to leave her because she is better off without you overlooking the fact that she was assaulted.
Some do, some don't. I think it's more likely if you pay more attention to it then him.
Why would she rather be single than be with you? Wouldn't she have more responsibility?
How long did you date before marriage?
I am an anxious person and I wanted to crawl out of my skin at that comment. I’m also immunocompromised so any sexually transmitted diseases could turn deadly for me.
I personally wouldn't worry about the neighbors. They tried. You said no. Unless they bring it up again, I'd be cool with them.
The husband is the issue. It's like I get where he's coming from, but he also should trust you to take what happened exactly as you explained it.
Give him a day or two and sit him down. Just have an open conversation explaining again it was out of the blue. If he still doesn't believe you, then you two may have bigger issues than you thought.
But how do I know that he didn't think that way about me, or thinks that way about me now. That every debate or argument we have could be built on the fact he could resent me in some way. It makes me almost sick that he could have thought that I was “worthy” to be with him then.
I saw your other reply. You're being pedantic. My man denied the girl. What more do you want?
End the relationship for your own sanity. She needs to figure herself out before she jumps into a relationship. And she can't do that while I'm one, and you're at best enabling it, and it will only have negative consequences for yourself most likely.
I think with the rise in Tate and Peterson, a lot of men are learning how to be the “alpha” in ways that are just abuse. Negging is one of them. Lowering your beautiful partners confidence is a way to keep them thinking that they're not better than you are (dude doesn't even brush his teeth) and so they won't leave you.
It's also a common tactic for shallow dudes who don't want to go down on a woman. Because some dudes will do ANYTHING to not reciprocate it.
In the case of “if this were a dude” you need to realize that women are more than likely to be emotionally run ragged and life (our moms, society, gendered roles) tell us to make nice and forgive them, “they'll grow out of it”. We have decades of “forgive men, boys will be boys” shoved so far down our throats that were sick of the implication that men can't be held responsible for their actions.
The majority of the women on this site have grown up in the same regards: to put men first because we need to fix the fixer-uppers. “He's not bad, he just doesn't know any better.”
Now imagine two generations of women on this website that can spot abuse and red flags a mile away. That's why you see the “break up with him” answer more geared towards women.
We ain't putting up with shitty ass dudes anymore. If you can't talk about your feelings without putting someone's physical body down, you probably don't deserve a woman, much less someone loyal and understanding like OP.
Law enforcement uses stuff like this as evidence for a reason
The more you outside him, the more you prove that you don’t respect his decision.
You don’t get a second chance just because you think you’ve changed. It’s not about you, it’s about him and his decision to move on.
Have some self respect and let it go.
Sampling/notability bias – you mostly hear about open marriages when they don't work because the people for whom they aren't working complain about it, while people for whom they are working mostly just go about their lives without moralizing to everyone else about their relationships.
Buddy, if you don’t have kids with this shrew of a woman already then bet the hell out of this marriage. She clearly does not love you and maybe never did. Life is simply to short and precious to spend trapped with someone who abuses you and is incapable of returning love. I’m serious as a heart attack man. Please read your own comments back. If you have kids they will be miserable too and you will be tethered to her for another 20 years. Your are young find the right person for you
I have to tell my cousin that she isn't really black since she loves Punk and skiing. /s
The two most important things I took away from my marriage might sound stupid: 1) We do not negatively bother eachother. As trivial as it seems, but try spending a lot of time with any person, close friends, family, etc. At some point I always get annoyed when someone is around me for too long. I want to have my privacy, not care about what I look like and just be myself. I only ever got that with my husband. Being around him feels like I am being around myself. I don't feel the need to put on a mask and be ooen about anything. 2) If we fight, we fight for a reason and never for a long time. If you love someone and that person loves you back, you don't want to spend your time fighting, but instead enjoy it. That doesn't mean you cave in at any conflict. It means, as soon as the initial emotions have calmed down, both of you begin to work on resolving the conflict.
I hope anything I sad made any sense. Take care!
You pressured her hoping that the dopamine of sex would cloud her mind enough for her to agree which she did. It doesn't matter how much you want it. You should have never insisted or tried to talk her into it. She was in a position where she felt like she couldn't say no and that's a pretty fucked up place to be. You didn't make it safe for her to say no.