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CUM SHOW ?? [290 tokens remaining]
Date: November 30, 2022
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LOL say this to him. “I need a proper yes or no answer those are not cutting it for me.” If he wont answer then you have your answer. But no not cheating if he wont have the exclusivity talk.
Unfortunately it is.
I'll have more energy to funnel into future studies so I have that to look forward to. Thank you for your words.
It doesn't have to be like that. I signed a document at a courthouse, and had someone ordained signed it. You have a choice. My husband was fine with my choice because he didn't want a big thing either. It was better for us. You can even have just a small one, and she can get her white dress most girls dream about. There are options. It's not all scary, I promise.
Honestly I couldn’t tell you with certainty.
Fuck! I agree on the getting a new therapist. I feel very much like you do right now. It’s really tough. I definitely think you need to talk to someone who isn’t going to belittle you and your feelings. I’ve been meaning to call this charity to fund some therapy for weeks now but I keep putting it off despite knowing I really need to for my own sanity. I really hope you find a way in this. My bf gaslights me and when I catch him out in a lie he totally flips it like I’m the bad one for calling him out. I love him so much, I don’t want it to end but I’m not sure I can take much more. It’s killing me. Reading your post felt like me reading my thoughts back. Glad you got to vent. Don’t feel guilty we’ve all got to get it out some how. Do you feel like you can’t talk to friends or family cuz you don’t want to taint their opinion of your other half?
I’m on a waitlist to get my cat spayed first but I eventually want to get one. Sometimes when I get a film gig I’ll be out of the house for 12+ hours so it’d be nice to get another one for my cat to play with, but I think that would definitely relieve my anxiety even more, especially since my current cat isn’t much of a cuddle type.
I used to be the typical jump into bed no feet out, but now I just leave my kitchen light on low and leave my bedroom door open a bit so it does help but doesn’t remove the problem entirely. I’ve had other issues I’ve dealt with recently so I think this issue is presenting itself now because I’m finally emotionally available for it. I’ll definitely try to seek out professional help from a doctor who could refer me to a psychiatrist so thank you!
He sounds like a pretty average 17 year old boy imo. He’s probably not ready to be living on his own yet (or with a partner). There’s nothing that’s going to make the break up easier on you, but please use this time to get to know yourself and explore your interests and in a while when you’re ready to date again, you’ll have an even better idea about what kind of partner you’re looking for. Best of luck to you!
Do all females miss their ex’s eventually? Its not a gender thing, its a human thing. Its also an attachment thing
I don't really think you do, considering you didn't even try to look for him for 4 years and only remembered you had a son when you found him BY ACCIDENT. You would never do this if it weren't for a coincidence. Now you want to reach out? What a joke
I'm going to be blunt here. A baby, no matter how much you yearn for it, is a full human being once it's born who is going to deal with how it is raised its entire life. It's not a fix. It's not a cute accessory. It's not something you bring into this world because you want a baby so much.
So the question is, how are you equipped to handle a child completely by yourself? Is your husband a good father to his other children? Because it sounds like you're picking up his slack there, and if so why would you expect him to be a decent parent to a kid you two had together? Do you want to bring a child into this world with a father you can already be reasonably sure won't be a good dad?
I think in a public conversation it might be important to, if not agree with, at least not contest your partner. It's a matter of saving face.
Privately, if you get accused of taking the other person's side when you try to suggest an alternate way of looking at something, that's rather toxic. Instead of focusing on the disagreement, ask him to look at what he is doing. You are suggesting a more benign interpetation might be possible, and he's taking that as an offense. Point out how that escalates the conversation into a fight.
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Room and board??? They are MARRIED! Does the baby owe rent?
If it were me, I’d truly appreciate the effort you’ve put in to make her dreams a reality. You’ve gone above your normal workout routine to focus on how you can improve your relationship and to do something for her simply because you love her.
If you tell her that you’ve put the effort in to have the ability to pick her up and make her feel small like she’s asked, and she takes it as “so you think I’m fat?” And gets upset with you, that’s entirely on her insecurities. This is more or less a selfless act. Sure, you benefit, but your goal was to benefit her and her feelings.
I personally think you’ve done something very sweet here and I hope she receives it in the intended way. Good luck!
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Alcohol lowers inhibitions. The impulse to cheat was already there.
1) She hasn’t confessed. Hiding it from you. 2) She’s deleted text conversations. Further hiding it. 3) Her best friend is encouraging her dishonesty. Even if you forgive your gf, the best friend will always be a malignant influence.
As you have no evidence of exactly what happened, she will trickle truth you. Will lie about how far she went. And you will never really be able to trust her version of events because she’s proven that she’s comfortable lying to you.
INFO: did you actually take the pill? You said you got one but never said you actually took it
He wants you to fuck his friend. That’s a fact. You need to decide if this is something worth salvaging
I agree with you. I know this in my head. I think Im just too overwhelmed to accept that this is happening.
the reason y'all don't get laid is because you never seem to understand sex is a two way street
Sounds like you're acting pretty insecure. It was just a joke.
Sometime romantic overlap isn't about expectations… it's about insight.
You are not expecting too much from a boyfriend… it's just this guy doesn't have enough insight to himself that he legitimately does not have TIME for a girlfriend.
You guys should not be “exclusive” if he does not have the bandwidth to see you weekly or communicate daily.
Seeing someone for a couple dates here-and-there is considered “casual” as in, “we are both single but like to go on dates when if works out for our schedules”
Good God you people are rude. Wtf
Hate to be every RA commenter but: leave him
As long as this doesn’t impact your sex life with your partner, I would probably not mention this aspect since you’re right, there’s really very little she can do about it, outside of a regular pedicure which may not be enough.
She was convincing you, you are just paranoid, msking you doubt your own instinct and observations. This was intentional on her part.
Racism against white people is still racism. Toddlers would understand these questions as the lessons in empathy they are.
Both your views are valid, but you need to decide if his POV is worth it in your eyes.
One way to try to understand his POV more is to know what you say about him to your mom and friends will effect how THEY view him. Would you be ok with him discussing your fights with the same friends and his mom or dad? Would you be comfortable not knowing how he's portraying your side of the argument?
Trauma isn’t a ticket to not handling it.
But a conversation would be a wise first start.
I feel like I should've realised sooner and stopped talking to that guy. My bf thinks I should've blocked him when he asked for my whatsapp but I didn't even get that the stranger wanted my number. I'm really bad at social cues.
Not all guys are like yours, but a whole bunch of them are.
I think you should leave him, let him know why, and go find one of those other kind of guys. He'll probably feel you are being unreasonable. So what. You won't care what he feels, you'll be gone.
Well then no need to go out with a male colleague either, no need to ever go out actually. And maybe this instance itself was not required, but I have been in many situations in professional career where I had to have lunch with a female boss for work stuff. This very easily could be damaging to his career and if you don't think that is the case then you delusional.
I would be extremely hurt if my partner chose to do something else on my birthday. But I (and my partner) are very sentimental. Some people don’t care about birthdays as much.. but generally speaking I would skip the meeting and celebrate!
You are assuming facts not in evidence. She agreed to his condition that the dogs not be allowed in the bed and bedroom they share. After moving in, he decided the dogs couldn't be in the guest room either, and he FORBIDS her from allowing them in the guest room. She isn't manipulating him, but HE is creating new demands and attempting to control her. How would you react to someone moving in and forbidding you to do something not part of the original agreement?
the co workers said that stuff based on what they heard about you
everybody complains about their partners and family at work.
She had an involuntary reaction to a massage, was embarrassed, and left. It's not like she went in there looking to get off
She getting prone boned with her friend fam. She don't respect your and playing you for a sucker.
I disagree… I think there’s something VERY wrong with deliberately wanting your child to hear EVERYTHING!
That’s beyond gross!
Its ok to be scared. We aren't meant to be alone, so make sure to find someone you can depend on. Find strength in others, make sure you don't try and cope all alone. Talk with your loved ones, lean on them for support. You will make it through this as long as you reach out for help
He has a girlfriend and is just using this as an excuse to shut you out.
Which is why you don’t go on a break. You say you need a few days of space to come to terms with your emotions etc. you don’t say we go on a break. A break means you are not in a relationship anymore. Unless both parties agreed to a different view.
You are incompatible. Are you even planning to live! together in the future? How do you imagine future with her being the way she is?
Yes, you should tell her to cancel her trip to you. Be honest and explain you need more affection than she can give you, and you are just not compatible.
Btw you really should seek partner that lives in the same city as you.
Your friends are being stupid
You – time & space please… Him – gives you time & space… You – 24 hours argh. Universe – ffs.
Mind games aren't fun. He should have known that was code for more phone calls and more attention. /s
Also, you're not joined at the hip. It's not a competition with his sister and her boyfriend. Holy hell. What's going to happen if they move in first? Get engaged first? Get married first? Have the first kid? Whoa. He is allowed to enjoy time with his family.
Nice red flag collection you got there maam
So he thinks all women are lying cheaters, so that makes it totally fine.
Wonderful stuff. I love being called a lying w**re when I’m risking my life to churn out babies for a misogynist.
Start putting yourself first.
If I were you, I would have left long ago, IDK how you tolerate this kind of bullshit.
IF she was raped, now you will have to deal with the consequences of her own actions and put out with the trauma than her alcoholism and the assault caused to her.
If she was not raped, you will tolerate an alcoholic who doesnt even have an ounce of respect for you to keep her legs closed.
First part fine i wouldnt take it down but not a dumping offense.
After the edit GIRL GET AWAY WTF
Cut him off and move on.
I say this with love and with genuine care for both of you. You two need to break up.
You two simply want different things out of life. And that’s okay. You two have had 8 wonderful years together (mostly). You two are high school sweethearts, so I’m sure you two have been there for some pretty big milestones. But it sounds like this chapter just needs to close. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to have a family sooner than later… and there’s nothing wrong with you not wanting kids. The unfortunate thing is there isn’t really much room for negotiation here.
So I think its time to talk and to start landing this plane. You two can always have love for each other, but it seems like it’s now probably time to to move on to the next phase of your lives.
And also side note… the way he’s addressed your mental health isn’t all that healthy.
yikes tbh
It may be that you have a fundamental mismatch in the way you approach others, and relationships in general – including romantic.
You don't say how long you've dated, but you're both 19 and you say this is the first serious conflict – so probably not terribly long.
I think in your shoes, without a stack of other red flags I'd been ignoring, I'd offer another chance. But he would need to be able to articulate EXACTLY the nature of why this was such a giant problem for you and your personal values (not an object for showing off, comfort before style, etc) and how he plans for this to never be an issue in the future.
This won't be the last time he presents you to new people, and he seems to think that your appearance reflects on him, in the eyes of those people. Is he doing personal work to change that idea, that source of anxiety and perceived judgement? (It's very very hot!) ARE his friends in fact judgemental assholes?
If he has answers to those questions that satisfy you and you believe his actions match up – sure, give him another chance if you've otherwise been enjoying his company.
At 19, young people make singular missteps based on inexperience. I think with reflection and effort, they don't need to be fatal to relationships. But he's gotta buy in. You'll have to use your judgement.
It's also okay if you're squicked out by his approach and just want to move on. You know what's best for you, in the end.
Ugh. You left out important information. He not only flipped them off, he chased them down, tailgated them and then proceeded to flip them off. I HATE people like this and this would be an immediate turn off to me. You don’t want to be 10 years down the line married to him, left holding the bag and mortified because he just screamed at a server in a restaurant for getting his order wrong. Take a long look at how he treats others.
You might be trippin but the comments here definitely are. I am a sociable, polite and stable woman but in the car, things just work different for me. So yeah, I would flip someone off, even catch up to them to deliver the finger. You can find that unattractive, sure. But it doesn't mean your boyfriend will treat you like this AT ALL.
I agree with all of this, and want to add on another thought. Women are often just conditioned to be ashamed of anything sexual. I bet you'd be surprised how many women didn't even know about their clitorous until a shockingly older age. Purity culture is still a things that still seeps into the most open-minded households.
We KNOW men masturbate. But, there's a whole mental burden around sex that is so deeply rooted in us, that we get these weird hang-ups when confronted with something we were conditioned to see as “wrong, dirty, private, or embarassing.”
I mean, what if a siblings, parent, or friend walked in on you? Awkwardness would last awhile. Yes, your fiance is your sexual partner, but this is probably the first time she's ever seen another person masturbating. It was simply a complete shock that sparked a lot of feelings she's probably never had to confront in that way.
I will say…asking you not to masturbate while she's at home is unreasonable. But, maybe don't address that until she's worked through her initial reactions.
That's so sad. I am a woman who watches porn, with and without men in it. I do t compare my SO to those men or their dicks, because those are professional performers. I don't compare myself to red carpet stars when I get ready to go out, because they have literal teams of people working on them. Porn stars at the grocery store look very similar to any other woman in sweats and no makeup grabbing almond milk. They're just regular women, doing a job.
He just happened to see and read the notebooks and then keep them lol
I would definitely want to know if I were her. But definitely give her evidence like pics, screenshots etc so she knows you’re not some random person trying to break them up. I’m sorry this happened to you!
You love him but he doesn't love you, I'm sorry.
He's cheated on you twice. That trust has been broken and can you really move beyond that? You've already lost him but the good news is you deserve better.
I know how you feel about self esteem especially when a partner doesn't value your feelings or respect you as a person. I'm going through that myself.
I think to myself, if my standards are pretty low and I can't even retain interest in my partner who is a bad communicator, doesn't tell me he loves me and doesn't treat me well, I must be a shitty person if I can't even keep him.
It'll be very hot but you will get through this. Remember that you deserve better.