So the daughter was abandoned at 2? Does she even remember her dad? Does she know hes her dad? (Im assuming with you calling her niece you refer to yourself as uncle to her?)
How are you protecting her from her father that abandoned her?
But I got downvoted because it’s the truth social media should not matter in the relationship. Like Idc who my bf/husband would follow lol but ppl these days are insecure af???
Ok so because you are immature and insecure you want to dump your girlfriend because she was a victim of revenge porn and had sex before you. She deserves better than you.
Definitely needs to tell wife everything about friend and family issues. Especially the friend because if it ever comes out you knew and kept it from her, you will only have more problems. If you value your marriage she needs to know.
I understand Samantha is a good friend, but keeping this is putting that relationship over your marriage.
End this and look for someone who meets your needs and makes you happy.
Or spend the next eighty years sitting by yourself, telling yourself how much you love him and how important it is that you “share a worldview,” while he stares at his computer.
If you think she would harm your unborn child if you broke up with her, you should probably contact a mental health professional before you do that. Is she going to be a danger to your child?
Since you didn't want to get into the details of why your relationship is suddenly over and you think she would harm the kid if she knew, it sounds like you probably did something terrible and cheated on her and plan to leave her for someone else.
Yes, maybe the whole relationship is sort of superficial? As OP said, she seems to have no interests….and if that’s true I would agree with his worries, they are not suited for each other at all. That is unless she develops some of her own interests and also makes some effort to partake in his to some degree.
End the friendship. Even if she misunderstood the situation, she was still happy to go for a married man she calls a friend.
This is not ok and an absolute insult to your wife if you continue the friendship.
I bet if it was roles reversed you'd be irate if your wife continued a friendship with a man who wants her and made a move on her knowing she was married.
Your friends are wise. Listen to them. R had his shot and missed. No rematches with the champ (that's you).
Why do you even care what R thinks now? You have moved on, right? If you haven't… then why did you start seeing M? That's not fair to M if you haven't moved on.
R is manipulating you. You shouldn't forgive him. You should leave him in the past. You don't owe him any kind of relationship or explanation. You should give your relationship with M a real chance, and the best way to do that is to leave R in the past and cease all contact.
Abuse may get worse if he thinks you're talking about him in a negative light to his closest family/friends. Have a plan ready for this situation as you will need to get our asap.
I really don't understand your hostility here. You should really sit with a therapist, your parents kinks and sexuality are none of your business. If it makes them happy, that's great for them! It's really not about you – and it's fairly immature to make it about you. No one is normal, and life is long….
I was nonmonogamous before meeting M, so I guess I didn’t think much of continuing to be nonmonogamous. He has expressed interest in other people, as have I, so I guess I didn’t realize until posting that it was just two women having sex with one guy.
I was nonmonogamous before meeting M, so I guess I didn’t think much of continuing to be nonmonogamous. He has expressed interest in other people, as have I, so I guess I didn’t realize until posting that it was just two women having sex with one guy.
I would tell her, “I am flattered you'd like me to speak but I honestly don't have anything supportive to say about your relationship. It is a toxic union. I was raised not to say anything if I can't say anything nice, and I honestly can't say anything nice about your fiancé.” or similar.
I think you are taking a mature approach starting with the sit down with husband. From your description he responded empathetically with clear boundaries. Says good things about him, although others disagree. But he is being forthright and that’s huge. Good luck to you. Im pulling for you.
That's why you both need to have a conversation to get on the same page about what constitutes cheating. Hard to hold people accountable when there are two rule books. Make your rule book together.
Yeah I know, i’m just so confused. I keep going back and forth in my head. I don’t know i’m just trying to understand how he felt disrespected i was mad but not disrespectful
It seems like neither of you are on one anothers’ list of priorities. Yes, I would call what you did an overreaction, but that would only apply if it were an actual relationship, which it sounds like it wasn’t.
Don't be with anyone with an anger issue. You should be running, not coddling.
The only one here asking the real questions I see
Yeah he’s never had to worry. He’s never been cold or hungry.
So the daughter was abandoned at 2? Does she even remember her dad? Does she know hes her dad? (Im assuming with you calling her niece you refer to yourself as uncle to her?)
How are you protecting her from her father that abandoned her?
Nice to know. So he was just doing this as a short-term dating thing. But he failed to mention it until now. Don't waste your time on him.
But I got downvoted because it’s the truth social media should not matter in the relationship. Like Idc who my bf/husband would follow lol but ppl these days are insecure af???
Ok so because you are immature and insecure you want to dump your girlfriend because she was a victim of revenge porn and had sex before you. She deserves better than you.
Definitely needs to tell wife everything about friend and family issues. Especially the friend because if it ever comes out you knew and kept it from her, you will only have more problems. If you value your marriage she needs to know.
I understand Samantha is a good friend, but keeping this is putting that relationship over your marriage.
End this and look for someone who meets your needs and makes you happy.
Or spend the next eighty years sitting by yourself, telling yourself how much you love him and how important it is that you “share a worldview,” while he stares at his computer.
I mean it is selfish. OP is only thinking about herself and not the toll that being the sole person in a spouse’s life will take on them.
If you think she would harm your unborn child if you broke up with her, you should probably contact a mental health professional before you do that. Is she going to be a danger to your child?
Since you didn't want to get into the details of why your relationship is suddenly over and you think she would harm the kid if she knew, it sounds like you probably did something terrible and cheated on her and plan to leave her for someone else.
Yes, maybe the whole relationship is sort of superficial? As OP said, she seems to have no interests….and if that’s true I would agree with his worries, they are not suited for each other at all. That is unless she develops some of her own interests and also makes some effort to partake in his to some degree.
End the friendship. Even if she misunderstood the situation, she was still happy to go for a married man she calls a friend.
This is not ok and an absolute insult to your wife if you continue the friendship.
I bet if it was roles reversed you'd be irate if your wife continued a friendship with a man who wants her and made a move on her knowing she was married.
And your first concern was enabling him further?
Your friends are wise. Listen to them. R had his shot and missed. No rematches with the champ (that's you).
Why do you even care what R thinks now? You have moved on, right? If you haven't… then why did you start seeing M? That's not fair to M if you haven't moved on.
R is manipulating you. You shouldn't forgive him. You should leave him in the past. You don't owe him any kind of relationship or explanation. You should give your relationship with M a real chance, and the best way to do that is to leave R in the past and cease all contact.
You obviously don’t know what is like to on-line in a Hispanic household…I was forced to do it
Abuse may get worse if he thinks you're talking about him in a negative light to his closest family/friends. Have a plan ready for this situation as you will need to get our asap.
Hun that ain't his ex…..
You pushing back on this is one absolutely guaranteed way to not have a future with your fiancé.
I really don't understand your hostility here. You should really sit with a therapist, your parents kinks and sexuality are none of your business. If it makes them happy, that's great for them! It's really not about you – and it's fairly immature to make it about you. No one is normal, and life is long….
No he’s not, he’s just a shitty guy you got involved with.
I married into a family like this and it was torture. I can't believe some of the crap I put my 20 year old self through.
I was nonmonogamous before meeting M, so I guess I didn’t think much of continuing to be nonmonogamous. He has expressed interest in other people, as have I, so I guess I didn’t realize until posting that it was just two women having sex with one guy.
I was nonmonogamous before meeting M, so I guess I didn’t think much of continuing to be nonmonogamous. He has expressed interest in other people, as have I, so I guess I didn’t realize until posting that it was just two women having sex with one guy.
Let the poor guy find someone who is interested in what kind of partner he is, since you only value the surface shit.
I would tell her, “I am flattered you'd like me to speak but I honestly don't have anything supportive to say about your relationship. It is a toxic union. I was raised not to say anything if I can't say anything nice, and I honestly can't say anything nice about your fiancé.” or similar.
I mean, it’s obviously an issue for OP and their partner, or we wouldn’t be discussing it here.
You do you, if that doesn’t / wouldn’t bother you, that’s fine. That would make me feel really fucking weird. Different strokes, etc.
I think you are taking a mature approach starting with the sit down with husband. From your description he responded empathetically with clear boundaries. Says good things about him, although others disagree. But he is being forthright and that’s huge. Good luck to you. Im pulling for you.
It doesn't matter what she did in past relationships over 5 years ago. You were not a part of her life. Move on.
So you're a free taxi, is what I'm hearing.
Maybe she just can't be bothered? Does it matter if you resolve or just let things be? Or are you having sinful lustful thoughts?
The only thing you did wrong was not to block him everywhere the first time he said your a smart girl, figure it out.
Not only does he not communicate and give the opportunity for improvement, but he belittles you.
This man is straight up abusive. It won’t get better. Ever
Please run
Fast
And far
Then divorce him and go after child support
Dude at this point you guys are just bullying me ??
That's why you both need to have a conversation to get on the same page about what constitutes cheating. Hard to hold people accountable when there are two rule books. Make your rule book together.
Yeah I know, i’m just so confused. I keep going back and forth in my head. I don’t know i’m just trying to understand how he felt disrespected i was mad but not disrespectful
It seems like neither of you are on one anothers’ list of priorities. Yes, I would call what you did an overreaction, but that would only apply if it were an actual relationship, which it sounds like it wasn’t.