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Emma Bloom, 26 y.o.
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Date: December 4, 2022
troll. there was a post about this from the perspective of the SIL a few days ago
Thank you, you too ❤️
Stop pushing through and start pushing back. It’s your body and you share it when you want. Period. If he can’t accept that, move on right now and save yourself a lot of time and heartache trying to please him while crushing your own spirit.
Address your underlying misogynist beliefs that there’s something wrong with women enjoying sex.
At first I was going to say that while what he did to you, the family friend and your sister was terrible and you both deserve help and compassion to recover from that, he was doing it as an abused little boy trying to process his own trauma. And as you said, it stopped when your parents intervened.
Theeeen I got to the part about him doing it “as recently as 3 years ago”. So this means that your brother (if I'm doing my math correctly) is a 28-30 year old man who is groping his ~22 year old sister's ass. And how old was he when he abused this family friend's child? Because if it was as an adult, or even teenager that is a BIG fucking red flag.
Final issue here is you aren't judging your brother for “something that happened 20 years ago”. You are rightly judging him and piecing together the fact he is and has sadly shown a pattern of predatory behavior towards children/younger children for the past twenty years. Personally I would dive deeper into this, seeing if he has had any contact with young kids in that time (babysitting, children or younger siblings of his friends, other family or friends, etc.)to see if any of them had experiences. And I'd bet all my money someone like this also has child porn on his computer and/or phone.
I'd absolutely cut all ties with a person like this and not even let him have access to a photo of my children. Mom is included in this if she sides with him. And honestly she deserves to be cut off for not having more empathy for the fact your brother fucking raped and sexually abused you as a little child for two entire years.
He says I don’t have to do anything and he’ll do all the work
Soooo he wants to use your body like a sex toy?
That's a no from me. There are many, many situations where a partner can't have sex or isn't feeling up to it. Do you really want to risk living with this coercive pressure the rest of your life?
Considering? Cmon just drop him. Considerations are not necessary, actions are.
If she linked her Insta on tinder she isn’t trying to hid her life. It’s really weird and over stepping to message one of her friends.
Okay best of luck.
If you ever decide to try again maybe pair it with therapy.
Likely if every friendship has ended badly you are at least some of the time doing something too.
But if you’re done with it then no need to explore that.
Honestly, I'd view this as a medical issue. There's no other reasonable conclusion you should accept.
If I were in your shoes, I would schedule a doctor's appointment and tell him he needs to go get checked out.
If he says he's fine, you literally just have to point to one of the shit stains in your dwelling and tell him “No person is OK with this. No person would do this intentionally. Your embarrassment is good. It means you know that this isn't normal. Something is going on that you need to get checked out.”
If he's unwilling, then you ask him to admit that he doesn't clean well enough. He has to face some type of truth. Until he admits that either something is wrong or that he's OK with not cleaning up after pooping (or even not cleaning up after farting), you'll never make any real progress.
Good luck.
100%. I’m a woman and if my husband’s “good family friend” suddenly bought him a brand new car without discussing it with me first I’d be upset too. It’s not about gender, it’s about respect and boundaries for someone’s marriage.
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I love this idea ?
You don't tell your girlfriend about nice things you do for other people, because “she's not that sort of girl”
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If my husband came home.from.work and was complimenting a coworker lunch…you know what'd I do? Ask him if he'd rather have lunches like that and start making them for him. OP, you need help.
He sounds like a super jerk. First love yourself, do your thing and look for someone who loves you for who you are.
He is pathetic in bed. Dump his lame ass
You sound like you may need to see someone about co dependency.
Let her heal on her own, the only help she needs is the professional kind.
They probably did change because you left, and because of you, they realized they drove you away and wanted to be better. I know it hurts, but by taking a stand, you possibly changed your sister’s life for the better. The best you can hope for now is an apology, but you’ll probably have to make do with knowing your actions made life a little easier for your sister.
I hope your night goes ok and that you are able to not take it out on your sister. Regardless, try to contain your anger for your sister’s sake tonight, and if you can’t, decline the dinner invitation.
Damn… Gratulations for graduation as doc. That’s really cool.
I’d say go to your graduation and then drop by the wedding afterwards if it’s close enough.
Especially warranted if your brothers relationship has lasted less than you went to med school for.
Ask them to save you a piece of the cake and don’t show any guilt/ get apologetic for putting yourself and your own work first
The number of partners you have Michel expertise
What does this mean?
Okay, I hear you no pressure. I maybe didn't phrase my post right, but I really do want to be with her
I've met a few who made it work, never any that were happy. And they were all much uglier than anyone with multiple partners had any right being.
Here’s one possible solution:
Get everyone else out of the business of planning your wedding. Auntie and brother in law can’t stir up shit if “oh, we have our wedding planning under control – you’ll get your invite/save the date with the details along with the other guests.”