44 thoughts on “Marianh331 online webcams for YOU!”
Is he seeing a therapist? Cause a depressive episode lasting months is plenty of ground for a clinical depression diagnosis(as far as I know) and with a diagnosis he can get proper treatment.
This one is easy. She is lying to you and lying to herself about who she really is and what she really wants. She is denying part of herself in a desperate attempt to hang onto you. A lot of women do this. It does not breed contentment and healthy, happy relationships
When you say that no one in her life is audibly feeding her these thoughts, and that they originate in her own mind, I sensed some concern in your tone. Perhaps if you could zero in on an external source of her insecurities, you'd feel more hopeful, because then measures could be taken to distance her from whoever that person might be. However, I have a different perspective on the matter. Had these thoughts been caused by another person, I think you'd have a far worse issue to deal with, namely, how it is that someone's opinion, other than your own, is being treated as higher and more influential than your own! It'd be terrible if another I individual out there had more of an influence over your wife's thoughts and emotions than you, the person who has the closest possible physical and emotional proximity to her. So first and foremost, sigh a sigh of relief in knowing that you aren't dealing with a rivalry between the weight of your own words versus someone else's. I know people with that exact circumstance, and it's clearly not good.
Now, let's look at what the true source of these thoughts really are and where they stem from: self-consciousness. She's become so attentive to her own appearance and behaviors.. which has fueled so much negativity and wrecked her self esteem. Recognize that this is exactly what would happen to any other person alive if they were to observe themselves so intently for any other reason than to deliberately praise herself (which would of course lead to narcissism.. and though you might not think it given how narcissistic the most celebrated figures in our world are, it's even worse than self-loathing.)
In any event, whether she had an inflated sense of her self worth or the opposite, the cure is still that she have an HONEST assessment of who she truly is and what she truly possesses. She needs her scales recalibrated so to speak, so that she can rightly weigh herself instead of selling herself short all the time. For me, when I need to get my scales rebalanced, I turn my attention away from myself and just lose myself in something larger than myself. As a Spiritual man, it's Jesus who I personally choose to fix my attention on when self judgement takes hold. I read a quote by Albert Einstein once where he said, “As a child I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene….No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.” –Albert Einstein
He's a pretty smart guy! So I do read the Gospels, or preferably, I watch the high quality word for word biopic of the Gospels on YouTube by a studio called “Lumo.” I just sit back, relax, and watch Gospel of John.. I analyze His character as critically as I'd been analyzing my own and I find that my mind is always so satisfied by what it encounters in Him. I end up realizing that if there's anyone who has the right to judge, it'd be him, and yet, he completely refuses to judge anyone (except for the judgemental people who judged the people!) It's tragic seeing how he was betrayed and hated by the establishment for the way he shone a light on their hypocrisy, but in the triumphant moment when he ressurects, it's amazingly powerful on the psyche. It gives me hope that up in Heaven, God Himself is backing Jesus'perspective and that He doesn't side with the judgemental religious types at all, but instead loves us even at our darkest moment. In short, I let the idea of God's opinion of me overpower my own.. so that I can honestly say that not only do I not judge anyone else any more, because I have no right to compared to Jesus and even he refused to judge, but that I likewise have no right to judge even my own self.
Being freed from self judgement and judging others is actually one and the same. Einstein and I believe your wife can be set free from both! lol.. here's a meditation I also find helpful: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. -1 John 3:20
But yes, check out The Gospel of John by Lumo some time. If you need a link just hit me up anytime and I can message it to you directly.
Have an awesome weekend and I wish y'all the best!
I have no idea what to tell you. The relationship is over and he is pushing you away. I don’t think he is all that enthusiastic about being a father and husband. You two are too young to be married. You aren’t mature enough to handle the responsibilities. Maybe getting into counseling will help. If he is not interested just put him in child support after the child is born. Get him involved in his child’s life.
The final letter won't be about this matter but… do you still think I shouldn't send it? I left there in hurry and I didn't really have any chance to tell the story from my side…
Reading more of your comments, seem to show a combo of weaponized incompetence (as you have explained to him the difference in financial situation) and him seemingly trying to make it very clear that he Wants an equal relationship at all costs, even if that’s Knots equitable to you.
I would sit down and write out the financial realities of both of your situation’s, then meet to go over how those lists are very different and set/manage the expectations of what you’ll be able to do financially.
He said, if we go somewhere expensive, OP won’t be able to go and this was the idea for the cheaper option. Having a direct conversation about what you consider to be a lot of money versus what he considers to be a lot of money would also be incredibly important.
I grew up without a father and I never want my kids to go through the same, if that happens to me I was going to take all of the responsibility and doesn't proceed with the engagement further any matter if my fiance understands this or not but since you didn't tell and now i.e am having a baby with my actual wife and you show up with a child that is mine which you hid from me for about 3 years almost, I am not going to forgive you ever for that kind of mistake but will provide the financial support as it's something not the fault of the child to grow up without the love of the father, it's going to be very hard for me to tell my wife about everything and maybe she's going to burst into tears, etc so much of drama is included here which I can't even imagine of .. There's never a good time after he's being married to someone else so just go ahead and tell him maybe things will workout good or maybe not but be ready for everything as the fault is 100% of yours for hiding it way too long.
When my wife was conceiving, the delivery nurse looked me in the eye and said: “You do the heavy lifting the next weeks. No sex for some weeks.” It was the most stern stare I ever got.
And now I know why. Your husband has a very strange sense of humor or is an asshole. I go with the second option. Resolve this in a way that let’s no doubt about the boundaries.
Man it's not about YOU. You're only thinking about what will make YOU feel better, when she was the one who got raped. You are not the victim here, she is. Focus on her feelings not yours.
Beating him up won't make her feel better. She needs to feel in control of the situation, in control of her life because that's what the rapist took from her. If you don't listen to her wishes, you're taking away more control from her. It will help YOU but it will harm her.
I know you care about her and you just want to be there for her so I don't wanna be harsh but it just needs to be said. You're being selfish. And weak tbh. A strong person would be able to set aside their ego and need for personal gratification, to help their friend. Going against her wishes will make things worse for her. Is that what you want? Do you have so little control over yourself?
Help her and protect her by LISTENING to her and respecting her. Let her process and deal in her own time, in her own way. She's told you exactly what she needs from you, that's what you do, that's how you help. This is not about you.
There’s something like 30% of men raising babies that aren’t theres. That’s a hell of a lot of unjustified emotions, wealth, and expectations being crushed.
While I’m a firm believer in crazy genetics because of how my family is, get the test. Better to know for sure. Will you be a dick if you’re wrong? Sure. But if you need to know you need to know.
We were animals that needed to reproduce. Nowadays it isn't important anymore. Or people wouldn't be in monogamy relationships. If you're fine with it and your partner using it too, then it's fine. But calling someone controlling and possessive just because they don't like their partner watching this stuff, that's just rude.
No, you're wrong. Just because I wear a mini skirt, it isn't an invitation of men and women to be a pervert creep. I don't want to be sexual object. And I am pretty damn sure there are tons of people who think the same.
I'd get out. There's a ton this woman needs to work through before she can be a good partner in my opinion. Immediately jumping to “assault” language is a pretty serious red flag, given the circumstances.
I have an ex boyfriend who would literally finger me while he was still sleeping. It would wake me up and I would have to almost slap him to wake him up.
So…tell him what happened, share your feelings and set boundaries.
My friend, this is very deep. I don’t think any of us could help you out in the way you would like. Please seek therapy. You deserve real love and what you have currently isn’t it. I’m sorry
My friend, this is very deep. I don’t think any of us could help you out in the way you would like. Please seek therapy. You deserve real love and what you have currently isn’t it. I’m sorry
Having to take pills and see a therapist because of your partner… thats a major red flag. Some things will never change. Walking away from a relationship of 14 years is tough but be your hero self and walk away, move on. The guy is toxic.
It also relies on the partner maintaining a high enough income to meet DTI calculations for credit, and God forbid anything ever happens to their ability to work.
Ok I can tell you aren’t ready to take ownership of what you said and why you said it. I hope you can work on it in therapy because it really is at the core of why you are having trouble addressing these topics with him.
It isn’t that you’re overreacting or that it’s unreasonable for you to feel jealous/insecure because of the way he is. You’re entitled to feel how you feel. It’s that, from here, it seems like making remarks like that about another woman shows that you are trying too hard to please him, to your own detriment. And I get why you’re doing that, even though you might be unaware that you’re doing it, but it’s a hiding to nowhere my friend.
You're getting defensive and I get it. In your mind there is one small issue and it's just that your husband is unhappy. But I also have military husband (army) my BIL is air force. I have TONS of family in all branches, and a best friend who is one of the top pilots for f16s.
Absolutely none of them have ever had to work hours like this for more than two weeks tops. It's a BIG DEAL and the government is all about protocols and policies.
Instead of getting defensive, you need to just take a breath and think it through. Literally everyone here is telling you this is suspicious. Everyone. That alone means it's worth exploring
Bro…you’re 100% a white trash bitch from Alabama. I’m middle eastern and come from a very cultured society…unlike yours ?I’d be safe to assume your mom and dad are siblings.
I’m waiting for you to say something racist now..since that seems to be in your nature based off your previous comments ???
Is he seeing a therapist? Cause a depressive episode lasting months is plenty of ground for a clinical depression diagnosis(as far as I know) and with a diagnosis he can get proper treatment.
No way anyone survived to 25 being this dumb.
This one is easy. She is lying to you and lying to herself about who she really is and what she really wants. She is denying part of herself in a desperate attempt to hang onto you. A lot of women do this. It does not breed contentment and healthy, happy relationships
You never know. This is not as uncommon as you think. Do you truly know him well enough to know what type of guy he is or are you assuming?
When you say that no one in her life is audibly feeding her these thoughts, and that they originate in her own mind, I sensed some concern in your tone. Perhaps if you could zero in on an external source of her insecurities, you'd feel more hopeful, because then measures could be taken to distance her from whoever that person might be. However, I have a different perspective on the matter. Had these thoughts been caused by another person, I think you'd have a far worse issue to deal with, namely, how it is that someone's opinion, other than your own, is being treated as higher and more influential than your own! It'd be terrible if another I individual out there had more of an influence over your wife's thoughts and emotions than you, the person who has the closest possible physical and emotional proximity to her. So first and foremost, sigh a sigh of relief in knowing that you aren't dealing with a rivalry between the weight of your own words versus someone else's. I know people with that exact circumstance, and it's clearly not good.
Now, let's look at what the true source of these thoughts really are and where they stem from: self-consciousness. She's become so attentive to her own appearance and behaviors.. which has fueled so much negativity and wrecked her self esteem. Recognize that this is exactly what would happen to any other person alive if they were to observe themselves so intently for any other reason than to deliberately praise herself (which would of course lead to narcissism.. and though you might not think it given how narcissistic the most celebrated figures in our world are, it's even worse than self-loathing.)
In any event, whether she had an inflated sense of her self worth or the opposite, the cure is still that she have an HONEST assessment of who she truly is and what she truly possesses. She needs her scales recalibrated so to speak, so that she can rightly weigh herself instead of selling herself short all the time. For me, when I need to get my scales rebalanced, I turn my attention away from myself and just lose myself in something larger than myself. As a Spiritual man, it's Jesus who I personally choose to fix my attention on when self judgement takes hold. I read a quote by Albert Einstein once where he said, “As a child I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene….No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.” –Albert Einstein
He's a pretty smart guy! So I do read the Gospels, or preferably, I watch the high quality word for word biopic of the Gospels on YouTube by a studio called “Lumo.” I just sit back, relax, and watch Gospel of John.. I analyze His character as critically as I'd been analyzing my own and I find that my mind is always so satisfied by what it encounters in Him. I end up realizing that if there's anyone who has the right to judge, it'd be him, and yet, he completely refuses to judge anyone (except for the judgemental people who judged the people!) It's tragic seeing how he was betrayed and hated by the establishment for the way he shone a light on their hypocrisy, but in the triumphant moment when he ressurects, it's amazingly powerful on the psyche. It gives me hope that up in Heaven, God Himself is backing Jesus'perspective and that He doesn't side with the judgemental religious types at all, but instead loves us even at our darkest moment. In short, I let the idea of God's opinion of me overpower my own.. so that I can honestly say that not only do I not judge anyone else any more, because I have no right to compared to Jesus and even he refused to judge, but that I likewise have no right to judge even my own self.
Being freed from self judgement and judging others is actually one and the same. Einstein and I believe your wife can be set free from both! lol.. here's a meditation I also find helpful: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. -1 John 3:20
But yes, check out The Gospel of John by Lumo some time. If you need a link just hit me up anytime and I can message it to you directly.
Have an awesome weekend and I wish y'all the best!
I have no idea what to tell you. The relationship is over and he is pushing you away. I don’t think he is all that enthusiastic about being a father and husband. You two are too young to be married. You aren’t mature enough to handle the responsibilities. Maybe getting into counseling will help. If he is not interested just put him in child support after the child is born. Get him involved in his child’s life.
The final letter won't be about this matter but… do you still think I shouldn't send it? I left there in hurry and I didn't really have any chance to tell the story from my side…
Reading more of your comments, seem to show a combo of weaponized incompetence (as you have explained to him the difference in financial situation) and him seemingly trying to make it very clear that he Wants an equal relationship at all costs, even if that’s Knots equitable to you.
I would sit down and write out the financial realities of both of your situation’s, then meet to go over how those lists are very different and set/manage the expectations of what you’ll be able to do financially.
He said, if we go somewhere expensive, OP won’t be able to go and this was the idea for the cheaper option. Having a direct conversation about what you consider to be a lot of money versus what he considers to be a lot of money would also be incredibly important.
I grew up without a father and I never want my kids to go through the same, if that happens to me I was going to take all of the responsibility and doesn't proceed with the engagement further any matter if my fiance understands this or not but since you didn't tell and now i.e am having a baby with my actual wife and you show up with a child that is mine which you hid from me for about 3 years almost, I am not going to forgive you ever for that kind of mistake but will provide the financial support as it's something not the fault of the child to grow up without the love of the father, it's going to be very hard for me to tell my wife about everything and maybe she's going to burst into tears, etc so much of drama is included here which I can't even imagine of .. There's never a good time after he's being married to someone else so just go ahead and tell him maybe things will workout good or maybe not but be ready for everything as the fault is 100% of yours for hiding it way too long.
effects of drugs
Just took some advil, guess I'm unable to consent now.
I would wait and maybe as a couples therapist.
No, once the rape word exited his wife's mouth he should have been on the phone with his lawyer. There's no coming back from that.
I'm really sorry, and I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but walking in AGAIN because you were taking too long sounds really controlling to me.
You are much nicer and much more patient than I would be.
She got us tickets to Mexico and the resort. Should I end it before or after the trip
When my wife was conceiving, the delivery nurse looked me in the eye and said: “You do the heavy lifting the next weeks. No sex for some weeks.” It was the most stern stare I ever got.
And now I know why. Your husband has a very strange sense of humor or is an asshole. I go with the second option. Resolve this in a way that let’s no doubt about the boundaries.
That’s fucked dude
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Man it's not about YOU. You're only thinking about what will make YOU feel better, when she was the one who got raped. You are not the victim here, she is. Focus on her feelings not yours.
Beating him up won't make her feel better. She needs to feel in control of the situation, in control of her life because that's what the rapist took from her. If you don't listen to her wishes, you're taking away more control from her. It will help YOU but it will harm her.
I know you care about her and you just want to be there for her so I don't wanna be harsh but it just needs to be said. You're being selfish. And weak tbh. A strong person would be able to set aside their ego and need for personal gratification, to help their friend. Going against her wishes will make things worse for her. Is that what you want? Do you have so little control over yourself?
Help her and protect her by LISTENING to her and respecting her. Let her process and deal in her own time, in her own way. She's told you exactly what she needs from you, that's what you do, that's how you help. This is not about you.
I’m gonna hop on the opposite side of this.
There’s something like 30% of men raising babies that aren’t theres. That’s a hell of a lot of unjustified emotions, wealth, and expectations being crushed.
While I’m a firm believer in crazy genetics because of how my family is, get the test. Better to know for sure. Will you be a dick if you’re wrong? Sure. But if you need to know you need to know.
She’s over defensive hm wonder why? ???
Your right. I hope the best for her
You care about her? Do you love her? It doesn’t seem like it.
We were animals that needed to reproduce. Nowadays it isn't important anymore. Or people wouldn't be in monogamy relationships. If you're fine with it and your partner using it too, then it's fine. But calling someone controlling and possessive just because they don't like their partner watching this stuff, that's just rude.
No, you're wrong. Just because I wear a mini skirt, it isn't an invitation of men and women to be a pervert creep. I don't want to be sexual object. And I am pretty damn sure there are tons of people who think the same.
Yikes, you the villain here Op
5 years is a not a few years when you’re 18
You two sound like way too much work and maintenance. The answer is for you two to be less unpleasant.
I'd get out. There's a ton this woman needs to work through before she can be a good partner in my opinion. Immediately jumping to “assault” language is a pretty serious red flag, given the circumstances.
I'd also save those messages just in case.
I have an ex boyfriend who would literally finger me while he was still sleeping. It would wake me up and I would have to almost slap him to wake him up.
So…tell him what happened, share your feelings and set boundaries.
My friend, this is very deep. I don’t think any of us could help you out in the way you would like. Please seek therapy. You deserve real love and what you have currently isn’t it. I’m sorry
My friend, this is very deep. I don’t think any of us could help you out in the way you would like. Please seek therapy. You deserve real love and what you have currently isn’t it. I’m sorry
Get yourself tested for STD’s and good luck.
Just put in his own car, you know, in case he loses it! ?
Sorry for not responding to other comments, some are not showing up on the app.
Sounds like your an asshole whether you drink or not.
Having to take pills and see a therapist because of your partner… thats a major red flag. Some things will never change. Walking away from a relationship of 14 years is tough but be your hero self and walk away, move on. The guy is toxic.
but man, that relationship better stick
It also relies on the partner maintaining a high enough income to meet DTI calculations for credit, and God forbid anything ever happens to their ability to work.
Your partner
Still that’s pretty strange behaviour. Like nymfo shit.
Ok I can tell you aren’t ready to take ownership of what you said and why you said it. I hope you can work on it in therapy because it really is at the core of why you are having trouble addressing these topics with him.
It isn’t that you’re overreacting or that it’s unreasonable for you to feel jealous/insecure because of the way he is. You’re entitled to feel how you feel. It’s that, from here, it seems like making remarks like that about another woman shows that you are trying too hard to please him, to your own detriment. And I get why you’re doing that, even though you might be unaware that you’re doing it, but it’s a hiding to nowhere my friend.
Put yourself in your BFs shoes, would you want him to be friends with someone he was FWB with ?
No it wasn't before we were together. We have a monogamous relationship
They might not think you were a couple….cuz he's old enough to be your dad…..not because he's Adonis.
go in the bathroom and turn on the shower and fan to drown out the noise.
You're getting defensive and I get it. In your mind there is one small issue and it's just that your husband is unhappy. But I also have military husband (army) my BIL is air force. I have TONS of family in all branches, and a best friend who is one of the top pilots for f16s.
Absolutely none of them have ever had to work hours like this for more than two weeks tops. It's a BIG DEAL and the government is all about protocols and policies.
Instead of getting defensive, you need to just take a breath and think it through. Literally everyone here is telling you this is suspicious. Everyone. That alone means it's worth exploring
Bro…you’re 100% a white trash bitch from Alabama. I’m middle eastern and come from a very cultured society…unlike yours ?I’d be safe to assume your mom and dad are siblings.
I’m waiting for you to say something racist now..since that seems to be in your nature based off your previous comments ???
I was in your same position. It took cheating once for me to be done. You need to have some respect for yourself because she has none for you