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fans.ly/Qqipi, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 3, 2022
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She’s very inappropriate. I don’t think your husband was trying to encourage it, but it was not cool.
Updateme!
She's gone. If she wanted to marry you that badly, she'd have pushed back against the arranged marriage.
I think you need to use that email. Your story is heartbreaking, as are all cases of child abuse. I have no idea if this is possible but if you could self-refer to the CPS, children's social care services or whatever the relevant authorities where you live are, I think it might be helpful. This is not because I think your parents are monsters, but because their problems are even bigger than yours and they need help too. All the very best to you.
I know what you mean about women in this manner. Women will accept men they weren’t initially interested in.
When I’ve spoken with my male friends about very hot women they seem quite selective. Yet the girls they get with (and I adore) are not “up to” those standards. I just assumed it was the same for men.
You're completely right. There are reasons I have done the things I've done and I am not the best with communication. I should just tell her where I feel things fall short. I should have a long time ago. It's something I feel more comfortable doing now that she has opened up about something like this. Regarding the child I will be there for it if it is mine no matter what, relationship or no relationship that child will have everything from me. If it's not then I guess I have to take my losses and move on.
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This is excessive and very unhealthy. It sounds like she doesn’t understand boundaries, she has to fill her time with other things and find interests outside of the relationship and you would know this one – but perhaps she’s very possessive and wants to know what you’re up to all the time. You FaceTiming her as often as you do stops you from having a life outside of the relationship too
She didn't say she's resistant to the test, she's frustrated because she feels (seemingly rightfully so) that she's being implicitly accused of infidelity. This is like someone accusing you of stealing when you didn't and then pretending they want to examine your pockets to see what kind of lining they have. It's crappy.
Yes, this is my fear…she has been a great girlfriend during this period and it was easy to overlook some of these idiosyncrasies in the beginning (like work stuff due to COVID) but now that the world is starting to move on I am starting to think more about the future. It's just a really upsetting situation.
Parents are not perfect
So true. Growing up I was always told that my parents had been each other's first and never dated anyone else besides each other.
Just a few months back however I overheard my mum talking with about my dad's ex gf. I had no idea so I asked mum the story, apparently dad dated her before he met my mum but he broke up with due to her constant flatulence issues. Turns out she would be walking around crop dusting everybody everywhere they went and although he tried his best he eventually couldn't deal with it. My mum could have almost been a fart machine ???
Truly one for the streets. She was taking god knows how many loads including yours.
Get tested like yesterday.
Yes it is. Although he acted as scumbag, revenge porn is no joke. No one should go through this, but I think you should be your first priority here, not him.
He should take legal actions, like a civil lawsuit. But that’s his problem, not yours. Don’t help him, he will pull you back to this relationship.
basically like two wrongs don’t make a right. i told her i understand how fucked up what i did was and it kills me that i hurt her like that. i don’t understand why she thinks hurting me the same way will make anything better. she thinks it’ll make her feel better about me doing it, but it’ll just make her keep being sad about it and now i’m sad about it too yk. like if she goes and does that then it makes me feel like i don’t have the right to be sad about it because i technically did it in the past too. she’s doing better and we’re working on it so idk why she’s saying this now all the sudden
I guess they are just so high on getting laid that they didnt notice lol
Thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful advice.
There may be a bit of repetition compulsion in you selecting him as your first boyfriend. That's when a person unconsciously puts themself in traumatizing situations because they feel familiar. A therapist can help you with this.
Yes what he did is disgusting, and yes you were right to leave him cold.
I hope you come to like yourself better and make better choices in the future.
I know I should but I don’t want him to think that I’m mad. Just so he can see that I’m intentionally ignoring him which is petty I know
Can you just solve all this by blocking him already? Boom, done.
Just take your insecure ass and leave her alone man, If that's your reaction to her having dinner with her friend
Maybe he didn't have feelings for her and just wanted closure before getting married to me?
Yes but this person sounds like a child writing.
How is she keeping you back if it’s an live relationship? Just don’t get live
Couldn't have said it any better!
Is there a link? I'd love to read it.
I tried talking to her about how it bothers me, and I asked if she would be willing to try it with me. She said no, she's not comfortable doing so now, but maybe later. I will NEVER try to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do, but unfortunately, the fact that she was willing to and was comfortable enough to try it with someone in the past and not me bothers me and is such a big turn-off for me.
Plenty of people try out things in their teens and very early 20s….end up hating it, and never want to do it again. And yeah, somehow, a lot of men have an obsession with anal, so it can be extremely annoying.
If your gf already avoids talking about things due to insecurities or whatever….it's not surprising that she wasn't upfront about having had anal sex before.
What else has your gf lied about?
Live relationships aren't real.
Go find a real one instead.
Nah, Notorious b.i.g. – old thing back.
The whole song is how how great his dick is and how his ex is totally gonna want his dick again but he doesn't care because her cousin let's him put it in her ass.
He's probably thinking that you wouldn't take him seriously if he asked you out. You can drop a few clues, and see what happens. Tell him your mother keeps telling you to date white boys, but none of them have ever asked you out…not yet, anyway, but…maybe one will…someday…maybe even today…you never know what might happen…are you going to ask me out already??? Why yes, I would love to go have coffee this afternoon! For future reference, my ring size is 9.5.
she doesn’t really seem to interested in moving in with him, she said she thought about it recently but she seems to get very put off by it or anything committing to him because of the fact that i refuse to be in her life as a friend and not her boyfriend
There isn’t anything to say. He has to decide if he wants that. You may end up never getting married or eventually separating.
It depends on his thoughts on the matter. You made yours apparent but we really don’t know his. Only your assumption of his.
Time will tell.
Throughout your post it's clear that his behavior annoys you, but this is about you needing to set boundaries for yourself and communicating those boundaries to him. You are feeling annoyed because you aren't communicating or enforcing your boundaries strongly enough.
As for dealing with it, first of all, don't tell him he's being a bit much. Maybe the two of you aren't well-matched in communication styles, but that's not a problem with him and phrasing it that way is not cool.
Next, tell him that when you go out you won't be answering your phone and then don't check it if you don't want to. You're allowed to set boundaries and it's your job to set boundaries you're comfortable with.
When you go to sleep, put your phone in do not disturb mode.
If he gets upset about these reasonable boundaries, it's not going to work.
26 year olds aren’t girls they are women.
This would be weird even if it was her biological dad. Parents don't sleep very hot next to their kids. Hell, this would be weird if her mother and her were sleeping very hot next to each other.
I am genuinely sorry that’s the case.
Unfortunately yes. I’ve had so many issues with the apartment and I don’t know what to do on that front. He didn’t move in, only I did. I have no idea where he’s staying.
I don't want to pry and feel free not to answer but what happened with you and your sister in that home? I'm assuming there was obviously neglect given how they reacted to her leaving, was there abuse as well?
Depending on where you live there may be resources for either free or heavily discounted sliding scale therapy for your sister, if she's open to attending.
We go to the same college and have shared friends. It’d make things hella awkward.
Who cares? Tell everyone exactly why you blocked him. He's trash and doesn't deserve to have this kept as a secret.
Also, I'm willing to bet you're not the first he's done this to. Probably not even the first in the shared friend group.
Ugh! Even if he apologises, it’s too late. Dump him. You never have to see any of these people ever again. Jerks the lot of them! Also, 4 beers!? Who the heck gets drunk from 4 beers!!!
Of course I do! We are all here to judge and are asked for opinions and advice!
It is rich that you think you can judge him but I cannot judge her!
No? I never said I was suffering did I? I was simply wondering why she is doing what she’s going.
Whoa whoa.. don't bring pineapple pizza into this
My wife 34f lives on FB and sometimes I feel a bit pressured to do stuff on there but I just said I only have it to check on family and such, even when I post nobody really sees it because I have so few friends (because I don't care about that kind of thing) and my wife understands that i will tell you how much i love you but i dont need to keep banging the drums from the roof tops, I live in a forest and nobody will hear it anyway lol.
OP I fully support you, I think it just comes down to a conversation about her feeling validated and what other ways she would appreciate besides being tagged in a restaurant food picture or a sunset shot.
That’s easy, make it really clear you absolutely don’t want that at all, it’s a complete turn off and that it’s so bad it puts you off having sex at all.
Gets to the point of the issue you are certain of 100%
You can add if he isn’t careful and it keeps happening you will start thinking it’s intentional.
So you have two concerns. One is that the sister is a stranger to you. Do you have social anxiety?
The second is that there might be unpleasantness from the neighbor.
It's normal to have out-of-town visitors stay with you when their lodging otherwise would be expensive. I think you should relax and stay relaxed about it.
Also, it's important to brief the sister about this wacky neighbor and the bad situation. It will be awkward for her to see the confrontations, but it will be even more so if you don't prepare her.
In short, if your GF wants to spend lots of time with her sister, I think you should go along with hosting her for a month. Be a good sport.
It’s not an official loan lol the bank won’t know. You just say oh it’s a gift!
Went to others because I didn’t have conflicts. That seems pretty straightforward, but would still make me feel shitty if I were him.
Move out or go back to your country,
She's shiesty. Cut bait and run.
If I didn't see it before I'm really sorry your family is going through this. What one sentence?
My guess is that since Mom had done most of the labor for the brother the past several years, chances are OP will end up doing a lot more labor to make this living situation ‘work’ than they realize.
She’s never had a relationship before. Until she graduated from university, she didn’t even giving relationship a thought. Only after she had free time in hand.
Get your stuff and go. Safety first, including std testing