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Date: December 16, 2022
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Is it cheating to you?
Would he be mad if you were doing the same thing?
Send a few strangers “omg if you inseminated me just think about the cute kids” and see what he’s says lol.
Reddit surprisingly likes to pull a page out of the hate preacher playbook when it comes to this, my account was flagged for violence because I said people don't get to choose what they're sexually attracted to.
That's a stupid request. Even cheap mattresses will run you about $100, and that's if you get a twin-sized. Tell her if she cares that much she can pony up the cash
This didn’t come up before marriage?
I dunno if I like this advice. What's important to her is what makes her happy yes, and as her partner he should want her to be happy and feel good about herself.
But attraction, physical attraction IS important in a romantic relationship. Suppose he got a face tattoo or sharpened shark teeth, it would be most important to him if he were happy with it yes and as his partner she should want him to feel good about himself too. But in both cases if that change made them lose attraction then it doesn't make them selfish/in the wrong for not wanting to continue the relationship.
It might be a mild hardly noticeable change or it could be a drastic one. And I agree he should give it time to see how it heals and if he adjusts to it. However in either case he can be happy for her but not want to continue a relationship with her.
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When did this happen? Was it a day ago or a month? This would be cruical info.
Just cuz they’re twins doesn’t gives you rights to have relationship with the other. Stop watching weird incest porn
Is she dead..? Are you afraid of a dead woman?
He never learned to deal with anger and frustration in a healthy way and a violent outburst can be intimidation – a “You're next!” kind-of thing.
If he was in a situation where he was very stressed (not because of you) I would be more forgiving because its the stress thats getting to him. But he's not. This is coming from overreacting during arguments with you.
I'd be concerned about this escalating. It could be you next.
How should you react? For starters, if you can tell that a debate is turning into a heated argument you need to withdraw. Say ” I want to sort this out but I'm not prepared to have an out of control argument so I'm going out to calm down now and we can continue the discussion later when I'm calm again”. And leave. Get out of there.
Secondly, you might want to reconsider this relationship. This isnt healthy long term.
You can still support him and care about him while not being his girlfriend, hun. And it sounds like that might be a less stressful option for you.
There was a sex scene? Thought they were just talking
Oh honey. I’m so sorry this is your reality. You’ve already done a great job by not living with him anymore! Next step is to get yourself out. He’s not going to stop. You can try setting very hot boundaries with consequences. You can even try ultimatums. Unfortunately, it’s doubtful either of those routes is gonna do anything beyond prolonging your agony.
Get out love, you deserve better. I’ll use your words and tell you, I’m wifey material. I love to cook. I take my man out on dates. I spoil him. Just like he does for me. You know what neither of us ever does? We never guilt each other for having lives/hobbies separate from one another. We never accuse eachother of constantly cheating with no proof to back up our claims. We don’t drag each other down.
Is your current situation what you want long term, or do you want something more with someone who respects you not only as a human being but as their partner?
My brother ended up giving up smoking entirely. My SIL wouldn’t let him hold the baby in clothes he had smoked in or with hands that smelled like cigarettes or if his breath smelled like it. She spoke with the doctors and did a bunch of reading and found out even just exposing kids to the smell is bad for their development.
This is a great idea anyway. My parents both smoked around me and my sister, and it really caused us problems, and just generally did no good in any of our lives. It's one of those addictions that doesn't SEEM that bad, but negatively impacts the lives of you and your children in a myriad of small, negative ways. My grandpa, who never smoked, ended up dying of emphysema due to her husband's smoking, and the doctor who diagnosed my asthma told me that my parents' heavy smoking likely contributed to my having asthma, because of the way it impacted me later in life. (Never had an inhaler until adulthood)
That’s not reasonable to assume it’s ok for you to cancel a trip hundreds of miles away. Plans are already made to go. It would be incredibly selfish and inconsiderate of husband to stay home and let the kid go to the birthday party. That’ll teach her to put one parent against the other if they disagree in front of her. This is absolutely awful advice.
“doesn't want to take money from friends” really says it. She has no respect for you, and believes you are someone she can just take advantage of. I can't imagine, even at my worst, eating real food and smoking a preroll while I watch the person supporting me eat ramen. I think she needs to go back home. The help isn't helping and hasn't been, and there's nothing to salvage or work on because she was never kind to you. Cut your losses and makr yourself an actual dinner.
Not going to comment on your specific situation, but there are also plenty of atheist Jews who still want to raise their kids Jewish. I’m an agnostic Jew, both my parents are atheist, and I was raised in a reform synagogue where plenty of regular attendees talk to the rabbis about how they don’t believe in god. It sounds like you don’t really understand how complex Judaism is, or what it means to be culturally Jewish. However, if you don’t want to convert, this is probably not the relationship for you.
The real question is why you stay with someone who lies and cheats on you.
Why would you want to be with such a mean person? Does it really matter why she's horrible to you? She's horrible, that's all you have to know.
Surely there are some nice women at the track, the ring, the range, or wherever you go to be with animals. Even though most of those hobbies are considered “masculine,” there are still plenty of women who are into them, and even more who might be interested to learn.
Even if you find another woman who doesn't share your interests, the chances are excellent that she won't be shitty to you about it.
Side note, though. While this particular woman is a lost cause, in the future, I do recommend you be a little more open to your partner's interests. You might gain a new hobby! (But not with this woman.)
By all that's unholy….your chick of a few months is thoroughly unhinged. You're 30yrs old. How the hell can she think that you WOULDN'T have a past sexual history! And “pre cheating” is basically her way of saying that you should've waited for her….a person you didn't even know existed. This isn't a carnival…..it's all the red flags on display. Take the hint and run. Block her on everything she has access to and change your locks.
It's over and time to move on.
From your post it sounds like you are interested in a monogamous relationship and he is not interested in being monogamous and wants sex with other women. If you're not 100% OK with that then this is not the relationship you're looking for.
It sure sounds like he's gaslighting you. But let's pretend for a second that he wasn't and that there truly was just a misunderstanding. Does it even matter if he thinks he had permission? The fact remains that he wanted sex with this other girl even without you being involved and he did have sex with this other girl. Someone who is monogamous wouldn't want it in the first place.
So unless you're 100% OK with opening your marriage and letting him have sex with other people, it's over and time to move on.
I want to give an objective viewpoint on this but I can't. Mostly because you've been dating since he was 18 and you were 25. My god the idea of dating an 18-year-old when I was 21 was something I found repulsive.
You are far too old for him. You are a grown-ass woman dating a teenager. Leave him and date someone your own age. The financial disparity is 100% related to the fact you are dating a guy who is extremely young. You are the one that's kinda sus.
Are u sure nothing is going on? While I understand the girls going to a gay nightclub to have peace but the married would probably be hit on. Unless they are curious about it or about the other ladies in the group. Has anything changed on your relationship apart from the going out?