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Date: December 21, 2022
Break up with her, maybe throw her some bills on the way out for her time though
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I don't think you're being paranoid but you might be over reacting in my opinion. It's normal for your SO to grieve and feel a certain way about a past lover that she used to love and plan life together.
I believe that relationships are built on how much you're willing to compromise in order to reach a middle-ground.
But if you can't see yourself with her, then you definitely should walk away, and if you stay then it will only bring you more pain and stress.
Why would you do this to yourself? You should always love yourself a lil more than a cheating partner and the comfort they give you.
Yeah whether you inform the betrayed wife or not I would still either remove her or myself from that shared accommodation.
If she can do this to that woman I would worry about what she will do to you , especially if you start seeing someone.
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Cheating like this doesn't 'just' happen. The whole night he made deliberate choices that made him end up in het bed. And even if meds and booze impaired his judgement, he actively chose to consume them.
Yes, he cheated. And the excuses he's making for it shows he's not even taking responsibility for it, but hiding behind them and trying to make you feel sorry for him
It’s not odd because older men love younger women, it strokes their ego. You like the guy but do you see a future with him? If not, find a nice guy your own age. At 41 and with little to show for it, he’s probably got exs and/or kids and there’s a reason he’s single.
That's the thing, because you are involved with him even if it's sexual you do have to deal with him. Now if he blew you off for some other chick, yea fuck him.
Just let him know that you were looking forward a lot to see him and doing whatever, but don't make it seem as though he had a choice and purposely chose to sleep instead of see you.
You don't need to comply , but they can leave you is only fair
Honestly, switch places for a week. That’s the max I give you. Let your wife go to work and go to the gym after and come home, hang out a couple of hours with her kids, then have uninterrupted time to do some more work. While you, on the flip side, are spending day in and day out with your mother in law and your mother under the same room unable to get a breather because regardless …someone is always in the house, having to feed the kids “your” milk because that’s what they prefer, having to have the patience with two old women who are definitely born in another generation, constantly being depressed, and on top of that there’s probably some lingering guilt for having those kids when she wanted them and seeing how naked it is now when she’s the one stuck at home. Try doing that for a week then please come back and let’s talk. I’d love to see how much of a martyr you blame yourself to be. You’re entitled. You’re living the dream parent life. She’s not. Get your shit together
Yeah no problem! I really hope things work out for you both.
It seems like for one he’s able to help someone when he can’t help his father and ALSO that he is able to feel some sort of power or control in life (when the girls feel anxious) even though he won’t do anything bad to them.
The thing is, this didn’t just happen years ago. This isn’t her cheating and then burying it deep down never to speak of it again.
This is an active lie that has been going on for decades. It’s a lie that shaped your relationship, that continued to perpetuate over the years. It’s some thing that you and she talked about right up until months ago. Seventeen years of you worrying about this, protecting her from demons that didn’t really exist …
I don’t know. That’s not a small thing. That is a LOT of deception for a marriage. There’s a reason this is digging at you and I don’t think it’s going to stop. Your wife had been lying to you, in a terrible way, for years. That’s a lot to process.
Honestly does not sound like she is cheating, she's not trying to be deceitful
I mean the fact that you’re in a long term committed relationship but your bf doesn’t talk to you about anything and then leaves for 3 days and assumed you know he’s moved on? Wut
Oh no I absolutely stated that her timing wasn’t great. How do you prepare someone for that? Most people say just be honest. That’s what she ultimately was. Hopefully they can work it out. Calling her names and saying she is like someone terrible is cruel when she has tried to be honest. She didn’t deserve that. If you can’t be nice be silent. Saying nothing would have been better than his response. We could go back and forth all night here. They both could use lessons in communication. He shouldn’t have been cruel. She was only trying to be honest with him.
You are being a dick.
She didn't cheat though? And yes he's manipulative, controlling and disgusting, thank you for pointing that out!
This is the kind of advice that sounds reasonable and checks all the boxes but always burns you in the end. The biggest lie in relationships is that people want honesty; they don't, they want ignorance (ignorance is bliss).
I think youre going to have to tell them you need the door shut and when they say no you will need to move.
It sucks and its really something they definitely should have told you about before you moved in, because it is super unusual and it affects the utility value of the house.
OP should read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Barcroft. It is free on-line.
Stick to your guns. You’re definitely right