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Eleonora, 19 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Eleonora
Date: October 3, 2022
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his “it's hard for me” comes from a broken heart he got a long time ago, and made his feelings stagnant. Now he's getting to know me and is feeling those emotions again, and it's afraid it will turn out that way. He never had a relationship. But i really wish he would make and effort, even a little kiss on the cheek and i would be happy. He already saw some psychologist but couldn't solve that much because he was too shy to even talk to them.
thank you for your advice and for reaching out. i truly appreciate it!
O.m.f.g. ????
It is possible that you feel this connection with the other girl because she is physically there? You speak so high of your gf and seems like long distance is the only Problem. So…what happens when you go back and this other girl maybe is away after this schoolprogram? Sorry but from the way she speaks seems like she wants to keep you on the line and doesn’t really care for you. If she liked you for real and would focus on you, although not in a relationship with you, and not talking with random guys till…till she decides if you are worth?
All of this OP, and your mom needs to tell him when he leaves to take all his shit with him as he’s not welcome back.
Sometimes people expect friendship from people they consider friends, imagine that. But guys tend to think of women and femmes they’re attracted to as existing to be in relationships with them. So yeah she must seem like a fool or “disrespectful” for not fitting into your fantasy and turning out to be an actual person, weird.
That's some immature friends right there, but that's for another day.
If he finds out he finds out, I guess. I mean, you could ask him if he wants to know all the gory details of your time being single? If he says Yes, then go ahead. If not, Not. And again – didn't he tell you directly he didn't want to know? Take him at his word.
Meanwhile please think about what I wrote about how he should react to this if he is told. However he takes it will reveal his maturity and character.
She should break up with you, you continue to lie to her and keep watching porn when she’s clearly expressed that she’s not comfortable with it. If you won’t stop, if you’re so “addicted” that you can’t control yourself, then either be single or find a girl who doesn’t mind porn in a relationship.
Compromise and get all new sheets. Make them soft. Add a fluffy comforter. Some nice pillows. Make her forget she’s not sleepy.
Have you considered to just have a conversation about how to improve your communication?
You don't mention how old you are or for how long you have been in a relationship, but to me, it sounds like you and your boyfriend may just have different ideas of what texting is supposed to accomplish.
To me, for example, texting does not equate actual conversation. I text my partner every once in a while when we aren't together, but I don't expect or even want us to carry out full conversations via text. If I want to actually have a talk with him, especially if it's about something that I deem important, I phone or video call him so we both have each other's full attention for the duration of the conversation.
I think limited contact for a while would help me move on from this. I know from experience that I would feel more like a piece of shit if I had kept my cat alive and in pain. I absolutely loved this cat like a child as I had him since he was a 1 year old. I provided him with the forever home I wanted, where he was loved, cherished and taken care of. I know that some clinics let you wake the cat up for a short while, but he would just have been confused, scared and on drugs in his last moments and I don't want that on anyone.
Thanks for your validation and kind words.
Even of he was her age her behaviour is wrong
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I’m the same way and would be there if it was important to my partner BUT after seeing that they’ve been together for 5 years and she doesn’t really know his mom and she refuses to interact act with her (for no reason given) I would question the whole relationship at that point and ask myself if this is really the person I want to marry.
I would rather adjust my life to your absence then to adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect
no offense but you don’t seem to have the self awareness or emotional intelligence to make a marriage work. You literally took a manageable marriage problem and instead of working on the problem, you’re creating grounds for divorce. But I can understand your thinking and reaction. Because I used to behave like that when I was 17. I recognize the insecurity and need to just cause more damage. you wanna make a big statement. You want her to feel guilty and try putting this entirely on her. you’re choosing to have a break Bc you don’t know how to deal with your emotions and you don’t want to. you dont want to forgive or forget, and you don’t want to work on the problem. bc that shit is hard and it’ll reveal the things that were lacking in your marriage. and you also want to play the victim and feed into your insecurities. I recognize that too. You definitely have some self esteem issues that need to be addressed.
You’ve been ignoring everyone’s advice. that’s on you. But you already know that this “break” is actually going to lead to a divorce. Because the second she actually starts pursuing something with that other guy, it’s over for you. you’ll NEVER get past it. there is no “I’ll decide in three months”. You already know that. use this as an opportunity to grow as a person and a husband. your wife fucked up, she addressed it correctly before it turned into anything. I’m sure that hurts more because you’re insecure. And it’s gonna be really very hot for you to look past that and not play the victim. but you are NOT a victim. if you actually genuinely want to save your marriage, stop with the victim mentality and have the courage to actually deal with the problem.
Marriage is about choosing each other. Your wife is saying she is choosing YOU. but you’re literally telling her to go pursue something with this guy. She’s already made the decision not to but somehow you know in your heart that she needs to try it out with him? this is you acting out of spite and insecurity. when we’re insecure, we CHOOSE to believe that they want the other person and not us. bc why would she have strayed if you were good enough? But that’s a false narrative. Clearly you were good enough for her to marry and good enough for her to come clean and make the necessary changes to make the marriage work. so it’s not a question of you being good enough. But somewhere in the marriage, you guys became disconnected. and that’s the nude truth you need to face.
Sleep is everybody's right. Your gf is abusing you by not allowing you to sleep. Set boundaries and if she doesn't follow them then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship
Definitely, thanks for the honesty
Because then she's in control of when she sees him again. He can return home at any time even if she changes the locks, he can bang on the door. At a hotel, she's alone to think for as long as she needs.
Which is why I said it’s a hard pill to swallow. I realize I can’t force it, and I’m aware I’m not entitled to it. I’m also not forcing him to tell me everytime the conversation comes about. I usually don’t ask past when he tells me that he’s never going to tell me that information. It’s the never that gets to me, because I do want him to feel comfortable enough with me at some point in our relationship to be able to talk abt these things. But yes, I realize I need to back off from this and not force it. I think it also comes to how can I learn to comfort him in the ways he needs if he doesn’t want to talk about it.
I dont get it, its obvious that they dont want to hang out with you as much as you with them. Why do you keep pushing?
I got fussed at the day I gave birth. I guess I ruined a urine sample by bleeding too hard and she fussed about having to come back. I tore to my ass and she’s mad I’m bleeding. I felt so shitty and vulnerable. And I technically wasn’t even in need of her care in that moment. I could do it myself. She just needed some test. But I used the blood I can totally control with my secret superpowers to foil her plans for two hours I guess. She wasn’t over it when she came back and did get her sample either. I cried.
And again, that’s with me functioning but bleeding after something that sucks (tear) but wasn’t all that concerning. I was stunned by it.
Your gf is very immature it looks like. Who in their right mind things that when dealing with family in need? Nothing gross about it.
I know that, this is what we decided that we would let things play out. But the crush is getting bigger and bigger everyday. I have anxiety and it surely doesn't help.
By not telling you, that is a crime. He knew he has HIV yet had unprotected sex. You will likely have to get tested several times to make sure you don’t have it.
I get you have feelings but he put YOUR health and life in jeopardy. He is an awful human being. He is a liar by default.
Yes, you should.
Waiting for engagement or even marriage to move in together is a disastrously bad idea. Why? People really get to know each other when they move in together. If you haven't lived with him under one roof for a while, you shouldn't commit.
Also, engagement or even marriage, does not mean he will never leave you. If you're under that kind of impression that's incorrect as well.
You are as loyal as a rattlesnake. Do L a solid for once and leave him alone.
You are too old for this Disney bullshit. You have to work at relationships or they don’t work. You expect everything to be like new all the time. That is not real.
You are a cheat a user and a hypocrite. Get therapy.
You made a mistake by going back with her. All the issues you initially had were never resolved, she was just on good behaviour for a duration of time. You know how she treats you yet you are still with her. Time to end this toxica relationship as she will not change. Just tell her, it is over then block her.
Unless you have kids or specific responsibilities you don't need to ask permission
The fact she is threatening you with leaving speaks volumes
Dump her
'Why would she do this to me?'
Hey, guess what, OP. It's not all about you.
It's just a wedding. Do you expect people to stop their lives over one day? You feel like you're being selfish because you are being selfish.
Can't you just be happy for her? I truly don't understand your attitude.
Yes he does couples, I figured at least see him and let him figure out if I should see someone else in the practice
Next time you bring groceries to cook ask her for half of the cost. Ez mode. If she responds hypocritically then you get more information than you had before and get to make a more informed decision.
Or you could talk to her about how what she is doing makes you feel and what you envision for the relationship.
Really ?! Thank you for your input but if you don’t mind me asking, how come ?
Tried to hurt her ?? Lol never thought about it sorry mate
I wonder what you'd have done if you're on the same situation as me. I had a friend who was talking bullshit same as you just because he never thought it's gonna happen to him (It was 2 years ago) several months later, his girlfriend dumped him, and guess what, he ended up losing all his friends (even me) because of anger issues and break up trauma
That's not manipulation though. You are using that term so loosely that it's loosing it's meaning. Not every lie is a manipulation.
You are using it like his gf is a damn abuser but from sounds of it she's not. She just didn't tell him about her sleeping with others while they weren't exclusive. It's not manipulation.
I’m so sorry that happened to you both your BF doing this and the SA you had previously.
This was SA too. You need to leave. You can try talking to him and letting him know how serious this is, but I wouldn’t feel safe sleeping around him anymore.
Ah, a virgin then. Sucks for you, man
I mean, she IS clearly trying to compete with you.
You don't need people like that in your life, trust me.
I'm starting to feel this way too. Problem is, he's just moved in with me…feeling super stupid rn
From the title alone:
Because you’re dating a loser who couldn’t get women his own age interested in him, so he chases younger women he can control until they get bored.
There are non violent ways to confront people. It's not about protecting their honour, it's about supporting your partner when they want to be supported.
Your views on women's promiscuity are shit mate, don't project your insecurity that you can't measure up to those that came before you.
Except that she isn’t a single mom to these twins. They are in a relationship and are having the twins together. OP, suggest hyphenating your names (ex. Sarah Herlastname-yourlastnam)
It isn’t normal or healthy for relationships to have so much secrecy. And for whatever reason he is hiding you, I am certain it’s not you. If it was something with you he had a problem with, a normal healthy person would have bowed out gracefully, not create a whole universe of lies to keep you at arms length.
I think it’s high time you sit him down with a proper conversation. Tell him straight up that his behavior, secrecy, attitude, and constant lying is making it really hard for you to trust him. That you need him to be 100% honest with you right now or you’re walking. Then if he doesn’t spill it, you need to leave. You shouldn’t be someone’s dirty little secret. You are worth the kind of love that puts you out in the sunlight. If you don’t think you can do this without support or if you’re worried he will twist the situation around, you can have this conversation with a couples therapist present. If he tries to do the whole “why don’t you trust me?” Thing again, tell him blatantly that he isn’t acting trustworthy. You deserve answers and the longer you put this off, the more painful it will all be.
I also want to gently point out that you having mental health issues and coming from a problematic(no offense) family, is the perfect recipe for manipulative users to come out of the wood work. You’ve been pre-programmed to accept far beneath the level of respect you deserve and to not ask for the type of love you want/deserve. People who grow up in less than ideal circumstances are far more likely to accept abusive and/or disrespectful behavior from a partner because they’ve been conditioned to think that’s all they are worth. I’m not judging but I’ve been there and I know it’s a very hot cycle to break. If you aren’t already, i would strongly recommend you find an individual therapist for yourself to work through your depression (+other stuff), as well as your self esteem, communication, and relationship issues (not just romantically but how to set boundaries, recognize mistreatment, and tools to dismantle what you’ve been taught is acceptable behavior from people in your life).
Seems like an emotional escape plan for her. I've noticed people insecure in their relationship, whether the partner is the one causing it or their own issues, tend to have one of these.
People need to realize if you have a backup or escape plan, even if you don't think of it as that, You cannot fully commit to your partner and are doing ALL THREE of you a huge disservice .
She needs to get some therapy and figure out why she cant let this person go, and do not move this relationship forward until you do
He makes comments about your body then calls you stupid when you point them out? Come on. This guy sucks. You can do better.
Ahaha I'm tired of this sort of shit. Be a man and throw her on the streets. She doesnt deserve shit.
He didn’t cheat but he went after your friend and they both crossed a line. Dump him and she ain’t a friend.
Cheating is a choice. Every. Single. Time.
There are a lot of loyal men out there who would never cheat on you. And there are a lot of low-loyalty men out there who would cheat on you. Your boyfriend is in the latter group.
When my son had strep throat/scarlet fever we didn’t notice he didn’t act any different until he smelled like urine. we took him to the doctor and he went on antibiotics.
I can’t imagine being this dumb I hope it works out for you but in the future never do on and off just keep it off
I’m not sure if it’s a fear or he’s just not. After knowing him for 2 years and being together for a year…he’s portrayed himself as someone who would never cheat and he would just leave if anything. We semi broke up a couple of months ago for 2 days due to his family issues and his mental health. But it was him that wanted for us to continue the relationship. I’m just confused at this point. Also thank you for replying, I appreciate it!
Uhhh that medical condition sounds like PCOS. If that’s what it is, man, the pain is no joke. And the sex drive thing probably isn’t going to change.
You don’t need to resent anybody. If you don’t like the situation you should find someone who isn’t suffering so much ?♂️
Got it! I understand, just meant that it’s kind of an easy (and shallow) gesture to show her that he’s paying attention.
Oh, honey, no. I’ve been in your shoes, and it doesn’t end well. I know no two situations are identical, but just let me paint you a picture:
You decide to get engaged. His mother picks out your ring based on what she likes. She also plans her son’s proposal.
When you start planning the wedding, she’s hurt because no matter what or how much you ask her opinion on, it’s never enough.
She wears black to your wedding. Your colors were daffodil and rose. (I was young, sorry.) She says it’s because it’s “slimming,” but actually she’s mourning the loss of her baby boy. At the reception, for the mother-son dance, their song is “Love of My Life,” by Michael W Smith. (It’s a beautiful song, but much more appropriate for the bridal couple. Google it.)
On your honeymoon, she insists he call her every evening, and if he doesn’t, she calls him, repeatedly.
It doesn’t get any better after this. I lasted eighteen months, and they were eighteen months too long. Please, learn from what I didn’t, and RUN. Life is too short for this.
This one’s for the streets, man.
Good god OP… Run.
You already know you're his safety blanket to not be an adult. He's only staying for a roof over his head, belly filled, a body to sleep next to keep him warm and the occasional nut.
Have some self-respect. And cut him loose. You'll be able to save money and meet someone that actually cares and respects you b
Why are you dating someone that you don’t think will last? That’s a big problem. Dad or no dad.
You also need to get some space from your dads pressure and think rationally.
Yeah, this is not the type of person to be in a relationship with.
Time to say you do not approve of the way he is critical of you and you need to move on.
Leaving aside the chlamydia, this is not the time to propose. An amazing weekend is not enough. Possibilities of cheating are not exactly helping.
Slow down.
What are you talking about?
Interesting
I stg if I see one more “my boyfriend is so nice! But, (starts listing off how their partner has ruined their life, uses them, doesn’t respect them, multiple red flags). But idk what to do :(“ You break up and move on, its clear you aren’t in any way happy in this relationship, which is what relationships are meant for. Use this time of ghosting to leave the relationship and find someone who will put forth the effort to make you happy.
I agree with this approach. I know it can get especially hard to think that way in the moment, but since you are writing them out in a calm state of mind it should not be “blaming.”
Brad sounds like a real douche, be careful associating yourself with someone like that bc he doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
You’ll find in life that popularity like this will fade. You’re going to graduate college and see that what people think of you in this time is meaningless bc unless these people are true friends, they are only going to be a tiny part of your life.
These nobody people may not like Jake but it seems like you enjoy his company. Wouldn’t you rather be hanging with someone who makes you happy vs being with someone who is going to push you down?