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Date: January 2, 2023
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If it were me, I wouldn’t be mad because it’s his choice to make, but I also wouldn’t choose a partner who picks that option. I’d tell him that, I wouldn’t expect him to change his mind, and I’d wish him my best. I think you deserve to be respected, if not by him then by yourself.
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I have a problem with being swayed easily, going into the conversation where he apologized, I had the intention to break it off but was swayed with his “nice” words and apology. How would I go about bringing this up and breaking if off clean this time?
Hi OP – plan your own thing, later, on your schedule. Don’t hijack the Italy proposal; DO tell your gf about the other engagement beforehand (if you trust her not to spill the beans) and let her know that because of that, and because you don’t want you/her to have to share your engagement moment, you will not be proposing on the trip and are planning otherwise (but it won’t happen quite yet).
If she has hope she will get engaged in Italy and it doesn’t happen, she will be sad. She may tell her friends she is hoping for/expecting it beforehand. If you don’t propose AND someone you are travelling with gets proposed to, she will be doubly bummed. So you need to quash her expectations fully!!!!
Yeah mate these aren't jokes
Time to move on from the whole situation
Right – how does she know what he’s doing at work.
Honestly, if he was her to heal, he will move on.
She signed up to be with you, but it's clear that at the time it wasn't under control, and it's not fair to her to have put her through heartbreak and then drag her through your recovery.
OP I am so sorry this is happening. It's compounded by the fact that he doesn't communicate and has an unrequited emotional affair with this other woman.
As for what you do, well, I guess you have to think about whether this is what you want your life to be. He's lied to you for 20 years. I personally think the man needs therapy. At some point when another person does not return the same energy towards you as you do them, you at some point stop having a crush and attempt to move on. That would be a normal reaction.
It sounds like he's in love with the idea of this woman, and has turned it into an obsession. To the point where he thinks she's sending him coded messages through her business pages on social media.
Sounds to me like he needs help stepping back into reality. This woman clearly wants nothing to do with him, he needs to resolve that.
I'm curious what your early relationship with this man was like. Was he ever emotionally present and invested in the relationship? Was there an event that caused him to check out?
My husband was similar. Just useless. I waited till long to leave him.
It doesn't get better. He's literally never put the kids to bed by himself. The older one is FOUR
I think you didn’t see the part where I mentioned I online in Nigeria. She can’t. Where I online parents and elder siblings, even aunts and uncles are in control of how, when and what treatment you get for whatever ails you. She can’t do anything if they don’t allow it, the police are useless and can’t do anything either.
But there is a person I think that can influence their decision if I know what to say to them, that’s what I want advice on.
I'm not sure i agree. When my Sister in law was pregnant she had a 12 week ultrasound done etc.
The NHS don't ration out ultrasounds.
Oh buddy. Make up a recipe. Make it sound real enough but put stuff in there that will clash and be terrible. Have fun.
When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. -Maya Angelou
He has revealed who he is and it’s pure luck that your boys weren’t there.
I wouldn't say you were rude you just weren't polite
I think giving you a heads up that she had someone over would have been common courtesy imo
Many scientists say the evidence is clear that excess fat can pose significant health risks and that losing weight can improve health.
literally in the MAGAZINE article you used as evidences. trying using scientific journal next time and your argument might have some kind of footing . if you do not know the different then maybe you should stop argument with people with so much confidence.
This man has some issues. It's okay for you to wear dresses above the knee. It's not okay for him to tell you what to wear. A boundary is making someone do something they don't want to do or something that exposes someone to potentially hurt. He can not use the word boundary to enforce control. I would seriously consider if this is a man you want a relationship with. To be honest, he is doing the one thing he doesn't want other men to do, which is sexualising you. It's a bit contradictory….
He’s informing you now that he will not be prioritizing you, and will be sleeping with other people. You can choose to accept that and wait for him, or not. I’d recommend not, but it’s your life
Yeah this is exactly the chick that weaponizes mental health and tells OP she's gonna hurt herself if he leaves. OP get away now!
I see that I might have crossed a line, though I was more assuming than diagnosing.
Stop contacting her entirely
Bring a toy to his house all you want but it won’t fully solve your problem. It’s a bandaid.
The real problem is your boyfriend and the kind of zex you are having. I putting all of my money in this bet, I think it’s porn addiction ✨
Babygirl I bet he’s watching way more often than you know of.
Internalized misogyny and slut-shaming could be at play. If you can't respect that a woman you love could have a purely sexual, short-term fling in the past, you shouldn't be dating. I suggest therapy and lots of internal work. All the best!