Going to this event is still not more important than your relationship.
‘Honey, I am really trying to turn over a new leaf here. I’m really sorry that trying to be ‘right’ all the time has hurt you and our relationship. I am concerned that if we take the train we’ll get caught up in a strike and will miss the event. I leave it to you to decide what we do. I support your decision either way because I love you.’
You gf sounds beyond fed up. You need to give a long think – do you want to go to events alone? Because that is where this is heading.
But after we were together she stopped so many things that she might do before. I felt it, but I was still hoping that I can make things better for us.
Leave. The main reason being that she did not discuss huge decisions with you. She felt she knew best and deceived and duped you. Your marriage has no firm foundation if one of you think the other doesn’t need to know the big stuff. She has treated you badly and probably will not change her stance.
OP. Words are important. But action speaks way louder. Show her your sorry for what happened. Not for getting caught.
Demonstrate to her that you want her and your family. You do that through positive action. Not words. And be content on the “couch” for as long as it takes!! Like I said before. You still might end up on the curb.
The little things in your life are becoming big things.
Good luck brother. Your going to need it. I'm done. Peace
I think this is a huge HUGE red flag. A marinara marker. Is his ex alive? If she's dead for some reason I could see it being sensitive, but not his reaction to your requests. Also, do you really think you're the only girl in 7 years he felt like he could date? Or is he not telling you about all the other girls he ran off. It's easier to tellnyou there was no one else and you're so special than to say yeah, he's dated like 10 girls but they were all crazy and controlling. Or he is still crazy in love with his ex.
No matter what I don't see any reasonable reason to stay with him. Dump him and move on before you become a skin suit for his ex girlfriend's mannequin look alike
Not really. Like I've said I've known her since middle school and I know the things she does and the things she'll whine about. Rather the Pandemic has happened or not, she'll still cry about it.
Your kid is going to be more messed up if you stay in a relationship where you’re not respected. You’re going to teach them that that’s what love is and that it’s okay to be spoken to like that because mommy stayed with daddy when grandpa said those things so it must be fine.
I don't know if planned parenthood can help with this or not. I'd try them first if they are free, but this is a woman's health issue and she may need to see a gynecologist. This isn't physically normal.
You’re worried about him wasting his youth, but is he worried? He’s an adult and can make autonomous decisions on his own. What’s stopping you from travelling after a hypothetical marriage? (Kids might get in the way of travel for a time, but it won’t last forever.)
Has he shown any problematic immature traits or characteristics?
Why are you letting him do this to you? You're better than this. Walk. Every time he steps on your boundaries, it hurts your soul a little and your rainbow starts to fade. Don't let him dull your colours. You'll find better.
I'm just trying to figure out how that's meant to be a joke. Sounds like he's said something he shouldn't have and is now backpedaling.
Going to this event is still not more important than your relationship.
‘Honey, I am really trying to turn over a new leaf here. I’m really sorry that trying to be ‘right’ all the time has hurt you and our relationship. I am concerned that if we take the train we’ll get caught up in a strike and will miss the event. I leave it to you to decide what we do. I support your decision either way because I love you.’
You gf sounds beyond fed up. You need to give a long think – do you want to go to events alone? Because that is where this is heading.
Right? No priest, no nun, no deacon would be ok with this.
But after we were together she stopped so many things that she might do before. I felt it, but I was still hoping that I can make things better for us.
Reaching out to her when she has a family would be a dogshit thing to do on your part. Leave her in your memories where she belongs.
Leave. The main reason being that she did not discuss huge decisions with you. She felt she knew best and deceived and duped you. Your marriage has no firm foundation if one of you think the other doesn’t need to know the big stuff. She has treated you badly and probably will not change her stance.
I'm far from perfect, but your husband just seems to be the worst sort of person. What an insensitive, self-serving clod.
OP. Words are important. But action speaks way louder. Show her your sorry for what happened. Not for getting caught.
Demonstrate to her that you want her and your family. You do that through positive action. Not words. And be content on the “couch” for as long as it takes!! Like I said before. You still might end up on the curb.
The little things in your life are becoming big things.
Good luck brother. Your going to need it. I'm done. Peace
Do you want someone to think “She isn't a looker but tolerable and sometimes enjoyable in other aspects” about you?
Why did you marry a child?
What ridiculous fragility.
graduate and go to the reception
I think this is a huge HUGE red flag. A marinara marker. Is his ex alive? If she's dead for some reason I could see it being sensitive, but not his reaction to your requests. Also, do you really think you're the only girl in 7 years he felt like he could date? Or is he not telling you about all the other girls he ran off. It's easier to tellnyou there was no one else and you're so special than to say yeah, he's dated like 10 girls but they were all crazy and controlling. Or he is still crazy in love with his ex.
No matter what I don't see any reasonable reason to stay with him. Dump him and move on before you become a skin suit for his ex girlfriend's mannequin look alike
Not really. Like I've said I've known her since middle school and I know the things she does and the things she'll whine about. Rather the Pandemic has happened or not, she'll still cry about it.
Where in hell in that post is anything misogynistic. Get off the internet misandrist
Your kid is going to be more messed up if you stay in a relationship where you’re not respected. You’re going to teach them that that’s what love is and that it’s okay to be spoken to like that because mommy stayed with daddy when grandpa said those things so it must be fine.
I don't know if planned parenthood can help with this or not. I'd try them first if they are free, but this is a woman's health issue and she may need to see a gynecologist. This isn't physically normal.
she told me that she was completely over that guy and that she didn't have any contacts with him anymore.
Well that was a lie.
She argues that I should be trusting her when she tells me there's nothing more to it than two old firends catching up
That's another lie.
This combined with the sexual tension text? Yeah….this is done. Break up. Move on. Don't look back.
You’re worried about him wasting his youth, but is he worried? He’s an adult and can make autonomous decisions on his own. What’s stopping you from travelling after a hypothetical marriage? (Kids might get in the way of travel for a time, but it won’t last forever.)
Has he shown any problematic immature traits or characteristics?
It’s difficult to see his side without any details on what was the fight about and how it escalated.
Why are you letting him do this to you? You're better than this. Walk. Every time he steps on your boundaries, it hurts your soul a little and your rainbow starts to fade. Don't let him dull your colours. You'll find better.