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ageo and write your name on my ass [80 tokens remaining]
Date: January 9, 2023
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Is it even subconscious at this point? Genuinely sounds like it's getting to the point of being controlling.
The panic attack was one thing, but he privately begged the brother to postpone the wedding. If this was just a panic attack and he was a reasonable person, he'd accept skipping the wedding.
No worries, thank you! Yes, that seems to be the general consensus so far
“Disrespecting him” like lmao what 36 year old man talks like an insecure teenager. Is some one stepping up to him? Is he going to have to settle this with a school wide dance off? Oh gosh, the stakes are sooooo high after someone checks notes called his girlfriend.
Seriously hope OP breaks up with this guy, she’s like 2 weeks away from physical abuse.
I see you left. I'm so glad. I had already written this so just for the future…
Do not be a savior instead of a boyfriend. That is a terrible recipe for a relationship.
She's not been good to you. You deserve better. Also, if she threatens to hurt herself, that is abuse…of YOU. Let me know and I'll link you to some dating abuse resources.
She wants you to be a jerk to her for a few reasons. She betrayed you, feels bad and if you have a conflict, then it gets resolved and you go back to the honeymoon stage. She'll feel better because she won't be waiting for you to go off at some random time. She doesn't feel good about herself so she resists a healthy relationship and craves what she's used to. She has a lot of work to do.
Please take a look at your dating dynamics. Unfortunately, those of us who are drawn to the whole “I can save you” thing end up having giant bullseyes on our foreheads for narcissists and abusers. Then we date people we think we can fix. Of course the opposite, you being a dick, isn't right either. It sounds like you have some healing to do yourself. Prioritize yourself so you're not white knuckling it to try to be nice. YOU deserve a healthy relationship.
Everyone has different boundaries in relationships. If, for you, not looking at things on-line that could be classed as borderline porn is a boundary for you then that’s fine and it’s also fine for you to express and communicate that. However, you also can’t control what other people do. If you’ve communicated this boundary with your partner and explained that it’s a hard limit, and they’ve listened but continually cross that boundary, then I’d say you need to review whether this is a relationship you want to be in.
Was it the spreadsheet that he made about his exes? For me that was the biggest clue.
Getting drunk doesn’t mean he deserved to be raped. Nor does it give anything close to justification of assault. Your comment is fucking disgusting
No, I’m through having sex with him. I’m going to leave once I’m done with my CNA certification which is in like 2-3 weeks.
This appears to be an obvious trauma response. It sounds like you love him a lot. Go slow and help him through it.
We all agree we all have our preferences when it comes to what we’re attracted to.
My problem here is until he found out he didn’t have any issues w your breasts at all. When you told him he suddenly didn’t find your breasts attractive because they’re fake.
Just ask him “3 months ago did you find my breast attractive?”, “1 month ago did you find them attractive?”, “the day before you saw my surgery pics did you find them attractive?”, “after seeing the pics do you find my breasts attractive?”
When he changes answers from yes, yes to no ask “how could you find them attractive one day and not like them the next if you didn’t like fake breasts? Because they haven’t been real this whole time you’ve enjoyed them” . Make him make it make sense.
This is the same thing as when my friends were over for dinner one night. Everyone was complimenting my burgers. Some of the best they ever had. I mean really enjoying them. One of them even had 2 burgers and towards the end they asked how I made them so good.
I told them it was a mixture of ground steak, ground venison, bread crumbs….before I could finish they were upset because they didn’t like venison and it was nasty. Even though they had all eaten at least one and he was working on his second. He literally held his mouth open and let the bite fall out.
Before they knew they were great. After they knew it was the nastiest thing they had ever eaten. Didn’t try to trick anyone. The majority of us down south here like venison and they knew I hunted and they knew we cooked a lot of deer. So it wasn’t all the sudden we cooked deer. They had never said anything about not liking it either.
Just like your man. He had no idea and enjoyed them on many occasions but when he learned they weren’t real he now isn’t attracted to them.
It’s all a mind game and hypocritical of him. There are only 2 solutions to your issue. Either he learns to find you attractive as he did before D-day or you’ll have to split. Because if he can’t find you attractive as you are/as he always has then it will only get worse and the attraction on both side will suffer. If it hasn’t started yet he’ll probably want you to keep your shirt on all the time, won’t shower w you etc. anytime your breasts should be exposed to him he’ll want them covered and or won’t touch them again.
So both of you will suffer mentally and physically because he’s being an ass to be honest.
I can understand not being attracted to those who have oversized them and they’re just 2 massive rock very hot round circles sitting on the chest. But if he couldn’t tell all this time he’s just being a jerk at this point
I don’t really think there’s a winning situation here.
You actively looked at women who’s consent was being violated, and then found your girlfriend.
That’s a two layer issue. Fess up and hope she doesn’t break up with you for being a creep.
Therapy is NOT an instant solution and relapse is part of recovery. Be prepared to work.
You’re young, you have time to find someone more serious about life
It feels like it’s something wrong with me
Sure, but you can't just cut off that financial support without having a plan unless you really think your life is at risk. It's reckless at best.
I would break up with her. No one is worth getting murdered. And frankly, he’s a disturbed individual to even threaten to do that regardless of whether it’s a bluff. That family isn’t normal and the apple usually doesn’t fall far from the tree.
The purpose of dating is to see if it’s a good fit. This isn’t. And she’s presenting you with plenty of red and amber flags. Just end it. Don’t waste your time or hers.