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???, 26 y.o.
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Date: January 9, 2023
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This is not your fault. I know it's difficult, but don't feel guilty. You have nothing to do with this. Ellie and your brother-in-law both acted of their own free will. With the age difference, who knows? Maybe he is the person manipulating her in this situation. Regardless, I am so sorry that this happened to your sister. I pray for healing for her and her children.
I don’t, this was super vague and I kinda regret saying it. I don’t think about it for the most part, the truly important shit we have. It’s just jewelry and a contract. Which for some reason I want but I also don’t think marriage should be approached with force.
My point was that there is something odd about the fact we think (as society currently) proposals should be one sided and a secret. Now I have the words to describe my feeling which I know my partner will hear and understand.
Secret is I’ve been married before, it was awful, I was younger, my current partner was supposed to be one of my bridesmaids but my ex was all “gotta be the same gender” bull shit.
I am navigating respecting his feelings as well as mine, but this post helped me find the words! That’s all! I have a fantastic relationship actually. The few paragraphs I posted are not in the slightest an indication of our relationship.
Bw an adult. Stop lying to mommy. If you'd told her the truth, none of this nonsense would've happened.
But your mom is nutso, so time to go Low Contact and put her on a strict info diet.
Firstly, I never implied you are a red flag for not wanting to be kept a secret. It is a red flag that you have decided that his explanation isn’t valid & that you turned up at his house unannounced to try and force an outcome that you want.
He gave you an explanation, which is 100% valid. Not everyone gets along with their family. Not everyone likes their family. If he has given you no reason to mistrust him, then you should accept his reasons. He doesn’t have to tell you any details at all if he doesn’t want to. They might be deeply personal. They might be completely superficial or stupid. But they are his reasons, and he doesn’t have to tell you if he doesn’t want to.
Based on your post, there is nothing in there about him actively hiding you from everyone in his life, and keeping you secret from everyone. Only that he doesn’t want you to meet his family.
Exactly. She's fucking stupid if she thinks she knows what all he's up to.
If the song is for his ex why is he sending it to you? Are you sure he's not trying to tell you he has feelings for you? I think you should tell your friend to save those songs for his next girlfriend and you don't need to hear them.
You basically trauma-bonded with her. You went through an abnormal situation that hyper accelerated the relationship. Then as everything has begun to return to done semblance of normalcy, things unwound a bit.
You're young. It'll hurt like hell. But day by day it'll get better. Force yourself to do the things you enjoy. Or something new. Just do things. Be alive. Live! life. It'll pass. You'll heal.