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Aime 🙂, 22 y.o.
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Date: January 12, 2023
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Honestly I’m struggling to understand why people here think following an ex hookup is worse than an ex relationship. Both are very prone to being jealous about, but I see following an ex relationship as worse. It has more to be jealous about with both sex and love history. Either way they aren’t different enough to allow one over the other. The gf is a hypocrite. But op don’t share your sexual history unless asked and even then be very sensitive about it smh
Not all family feels like they should be paid to watch the kids of their family.
Bro how dumb are you
“Mad a 13 year old just dominated you? Are you going to double down on the embarrassment by being angry about it?” (As condescendingly loving possible ?)
Well I will give her the wish she wants and leaves and don’t look back. If she really doesn’t need you why are you still around
It’s in OPs comments. They had at least one conversation about it before, he was fence sitting, and didn’t update her when he realized he didn’t want kids until she brought it up this time.
Sounds like he needs sectioning for his own protection and others
No. Buy him food or something else.
Are you included in this friend group and their activities? If not that’s a red flag. Sounds like your BF enjoys having his ego stroked by her attention when he should be telling her that she needs to respect the relationship between you and him and back-off. If he continues to ignore your concerns or trivialize your feelings then you need to reassess your relationship with him. Because whether you are justified to feel jealous or not doesn’t change the fact that he’s being insensitive to your feelings.
No allowance
If you want to help her financially do it on your terms
A good partner would not put you in this unnecessary predicament. I have a feeling the gf has other shitty qualities. Help your sister!
One can hope.
This “relationship” is really not ok. A man close to 50 with a teenager. Predatory and wholly inappropriate.
I feel like if you two discuss your timeline expectations to a further extent, the difference may be acceptable to you both. You expect kids a year after everything is IDEAL. His expectations as stated seemed to just identify a ambiguous 5 year plan. If your not ready to have kids with him now, it may take you 2-3years to find that certainty. Give or take a year or so for conception and you're at the 4 year mark before you know it. I won't downplay the importance of knowing when you're incompatible, but shit, if you like each other and treat each other well, kids will come in time.
Don't you need to be careful the rapist doesn't end up with some rights? Or his parents?
This sucks man. I'm so sorry
Same. Every adoptee I know has some degree of mental illness, likely from trauma. And yet, it is adoptees that are told to be “grateful” for their luck.
My mother’s biological children (so my adoptive brothers) used to tell me I “won the adoption lottery” when I got placed in their family. I somehow didn’t feel the same at 12 years old, wishing I had been an abortion after I learned what they were in health class.
Thank you hopefully when I'm in therapy I can lay all this out a little better and get help and resolve my feelings
You got defensive because you felt threatened.
You felt threatened because you perceived an attack.
You perceived an attack because of your held biases and worldview.
I'm not saying you were wrong to be upset. That's not my point. But there are a lot of steps involved here where you could use some introspection. It's not about “everyone versus me” – people just don't have the bandwidth for that. It's about fixing your own attitude towards situations like this generally.
Personally, I get very unnerved if anyone is in my bed. It’s always been my personal boundary that I communicated to anyone that ever asked to sleep in it.
While I now share a bed with my partner, and my son climbs into it too, I would be very very uncomfortable with anyone else being in my bed – my family, his family, anyone’s friends or kids. But I make it clear, that as stupid as it may be, it’s important to me, and my partner would never invite anyone to sleep there.
This is a perspective that I don’t imagine many people have, and I’m not sure it applies in this case, but it exists and can be valid.
Your daughter will be raised by a strong woman who respected herself and her child enough to leave. Who knows what u could catch if he meases up…. id get a std test as well
Dude. You are allowed to go to another room without asking your girlfriend's permission.
He cheated on her with you, and now you are being cheated on with her (or he’s cheating on both of you).
Wake me up, before you go-go????
Urgh I feel so disgusting after reading this. Humans suck
STD from an live! affair with a guy several states over? I don't think you understand how STD's are transmitted ??
She’s right.
You’re living more like a child than an adult, and you need to learn to be an adult before you settle down, otherwise she’ll be stuck playing mommy – and that won’t end well, even she even lets it get that far.
You have kids with tour ex. Your fiance is going to have to realize that the ex is going to play a part in your family, and it will be better for all if everyone is on friendly terms. If your fiance is having trust issues, that is something that needs to be addressed before you get married, or she too will soon be your ex.
With that being said, your ex's house as your 1st goto idea probably isn't the best idea, you now know you have an office to work out if, but if that wasn't available, maybe rent a hotel room for a day and set up, use the wifi there.
Sounds like maybe you are going into too much detail with your answers. Try shortening your answers by 50% and see if it improves things.
I don’t know if this is due to self destructive behavior
I think you're onto something here. I think her longing for a life of hot drugs again might be confusing her into desiring someone she associates with that life.
If those two fucked on opiates, then we shouldn't be surprised that it's the best sex of her life (sorry) but it's unhealthy because it's chemically fueled.
Choosing you would be choosing life and I think that's where she will end up when she's sober.
Your comment is gold. Actually I’m also that little kid who is not courageous enough to talk her through. Because this happens every birthday, Christmas and whatsoever festivals. I am the one causing this damn situation, or at least part of the reason.
Yes. I'm not really looking to have sex with some other girls (guys, maybe?) but I wouldn't have accepted it to be one-sided.
OP this is your likely answer. In deference to their now-ended friendship or bro code or fear of losing you to the best friend or whatever, your fiancé is willing to keep your friend’s secret. The friend, meanwhile, is trying the “suffer in silence, if you love something let it go” path.
It’s a pretty crappy situation and I don’t envy your choices: the guy you’re about to marry won’t communicate about something pretty damn important, the other’s been too yellow to tell you how he’s felt for probably a long time, and together they’ve fought over it. Couple of winners there.
happy ending! love to see it ?
Fuck him. But yeah definitely focus on your mother. She won’t be here forever. Don’t waste any time on that fuckwad.