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arialovee chat
Date: January 14, 2023
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Four steps: 1. Go to an attorney and draw up legal separation papers. You will need to gather and provide him with financial records. 2. Figure out your living arrangements, sign a short term lease. 3. Communicate to family and friends the truth and ask them to support her. Keeping this a secret was a huge mistake. 4. Don't ask, just serve her after you've moved out.
Don't walk into a relationship with a lie. You've poisoned it from the very beginning.
I guess you could ditch all your friends and create a whole new group that doesn't know your bedroom secrets. I mean… you didn't just fuck up your own relationship, you fucked up his relationships with a bunch of other people!
I wanted to be valued so it really doesn’t feel like a win in any way.
It's just a learning experience. This one wasn't what you needed so it's time to move on.
Is she married to you or him? It seems like you have been replaced.
These very much sound like the behaviours of a narcissist. It's not a healthy relationship and is unlikely to ever be a healthy relationship. My advice would be to break up. As you don't want to hear that, your best bet is therapy for yourself to cope with her abuse until you feel ready to leave.
Wait, he was maybe roofied, almost certainly raped, and the advice is “Don't be careless next time”?
Sorry, I can't agree with this or the top comment's advice. He couldn't consent and didn't set out to cheat and may have been roofie'd. Then there was the “pregnancy” scare and the “ring” giveaway.
There's no reason he shouldn't figure out what REALLY happened, document things, and then try to reach out to his ex. It may not go anywhere, but it sounds like OP, like most commenters, assumed because he's a man he couldn't get raped. Yeah, it's rare, yeah it's not exactly the same, but in this situation, there's no reason for his entire life and relationship to implode.
/u/throwra947576 — This reeks of rape. Was it? Maybe, maybe not. Collect the facts (talk to friends and people who were at the party!), lay the facts out in a concise and clean fashion for your ex, in written form, then get it to her and let her decide. Cut Abc out of your life.
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My husband got this new colleague about a year ago. At the beginning I wasn't too worried about it even if he was talking about her more than his other colleagues. She is awesome cool funny you name it. I met her and her husband at the Christmas party and she was very outgoing and friendly, especially with my husband. After the party I asked my husband if there was something between them and he denied it. I have never had reasons to distrust my husband. I feel like I'm an awesome wife too and I assumed that if he ever found himself to be unhappy with me, he would tell me so and move on. Anyway a few days after my conversation with him about his colleague, my husband confessed that he wanted a swinger thing with his colleague and her husband. He said that she approached him with this proposition a few days before the Christmas party and that he has been thinking about it ever since. He agreed to her and they both decided to talk to their significant other. So she talked to her husband and my husband talked to me. I really felt all the air leave my body while he was telling me this. He saw my despair so he assured and reassured me that they had not done anything and that he wanted me there too. That he loved me.
I don't know why I relented and agreed. Probably because I love my husband and I didn't want to end our marriage but I did and I started googling swingers. It turned out what he and his colleague wanted wasn't really swinging but rather a 4way. The colleague has fantasies about her husband watching her having sex with another man and my husband probably just wanted to have sex with her without calling it cheating. They made a group chat for the 4 of us and I noticed that my husband and his colleague were the driving force and me and the husband were the reluctant participants. I later asked the husband why he also relented and he was just like me I guess. He didn't want to lose her and their marriage. I tried to mentally and physically prepare myself. D day was a month ago. It felt like my husband and his colleague were in their right element from the get go and they seemed like they got the hang of it. I was very reserved and actually didn't know what to do (no amount of reading or watching porn prepared me for what to do). The husband however noticed that I was being shy so he tried to make me comfortable. Next he was kissing me and telling me that I was “doing great” “gosh you are so beautiful” and “your skin is so soft” and “good girl” by then I was really turned on and could rid myself of the embarrassment and just enjoy him. By the end I noticed that both my husband and his colleague were irritated. From what I understood before everything, this was supposed to be a whole evening/night thing but my husband just told them that we were leaving and we left after one (try?, session?)
Since then my husband has been upset and unusually quiet. Very distant even when we are intimate(even though he wants sex every day now sometimes more than once). He asked me what the man was whispering that made me so happy and if I had a good time. I said that I did my best to please him and yes, I enjoyed i. I had good time but it was all for him. If it was up to me I would never have suggested this to begin with. He insisted that I ignored him during sex but I didn't, he was just busy with her and they both “joined” us after a while. Worst of all he keeps asking if the husband was better than him. If he made me feel better and no answer was good enough for him.
Worst is the abusive texts I got from the colleague, calling me old and ugly and desperate for attention. That I ruined her marriage. I told my husband about the texts and he said that she had right in feeling that way because her husband and I ignored them like they weren't (we were so consumed by each other like there was nothing around us; his words) and that we forgot it was supposed to be all 4 together.
I don't know what to do now. I don't know the rules and I just acted on my natural feelings. I didn't find anywhere either that there were rules in this game. I'm grateful that the husband was sweet and comforting. I felt safe with him and I thought this is how it was supposed to be. Feel safe and enjoy the experience. If I have done anything wrong just tell me so I can make it right with my husband and even with his colleague.
He's only marrying you because he can't marry her. She's his number one, always will be. Don't do this to yourself and call it off.
You are setting yourself for failure if you stay with this guy.
I'm sorry
How does this “reek of parental alienation?”
HE denied the paternity when she DID tell him.
He would have to. OP has no claim against her. I doubt he will, but man would I love to be wrong.
In a country where abortion is illegal and you're sure you don't want to be a parent, that is the only foolproof option unfortunately.
What they could do is make an emergency fund in case they need to leave the country for an abortion.
Why are you still with this deadbeat. What the hell. Why are you giving him your hard-earned money. Since you don’t on-line together, just ghost him. Block him on your phone , social media etc. He does not even deserve the courtesy of a text breaking up with him. Just walk away and never engage with him again. Essentially his agreement is asking you to be a bangmaid , doormat , brainless servant. This level of disrespect is astounding. Don’t ever speak or engage with him again. The only plausible response to his demands is ghosting him.
She made another post about coming down after she “quit” and denied it being withdrawals, but every symptom was a ding ding for withdrawals. She needs to wake up and stop denying the facts here. At best she will stay and ruin her life by sacrificing plans and end up continuing drugs. Reality is she will becoming a full blown addict and her and her bf will become homeless or something and risk dying from an overdose.
Can you explain more?
He's sexualizing you by telling you what you cannot wear. And this isn't a boundary, it's a rule he's making that controls your autonomy. Lose the whole boyfriend, he's not going to get less controlling.
Your first issue is not a sexual incompatibility issue. Sex drives change throughout our lives, hormone levels, environment, etc. One of you not being sexually driven and the other is not incompatibility it is just a drive difference that will very through life.
Now you husbands desire to be bottomed and you not wanting to top is an incompatibility issue. This is probably adding to your lowered drive when every time you do have sex you are being put out of your desire and comfort zone. It's giving your brain the feeling of being used for his sexual purposes. This is a problem.
This seems to be less of an issue with the sexual compatibility and more of a relational value issue. Your actions are showing that you are stepping out of yourself to please your husband (manipulated or not) You are doing an activity on a perfectly healthy level of frequency in the way only your husband wants it… He on the other hand will not look for another stress reliever (which he should have some other coping mechanism other than sex because that's not healthy) or look for another partner to fill the one he has (of course this is only if YOU ARE TRUELY OK WITH THAT and not just so you don't feel like you aren't filling some sort of twisted need) You are valuing and doing something giving of yourself while he is not putting in the same effort. He is constantly crossing your boundaries by having you perform as a top when it's clear that you're not comfortable with that.
I’m so exhausted from feeling like this, and often times we end up just not speaking to each other until he finally gets over it. He may get a little melodramatic, but he doesn’t manipulate me into making me feel bad or force me in any way.
And this says it all. Babes he is manipulating you. Giving you the silent treatment and acting Melodramatic because he isn't getting his dick wet every night is manipulative. Chances are you wouldn't be having sex as often if he didn't do this…
Your sex life as it stands IS PERFECTLY ACTIVE. 1-2 times a week for functional adults is normal. Hell, I've been married almost 7 years and we will go some weeks and not have sex at all and other we will go 4 days in a row. Its life. There is other stuff going on. Kids to take care of. SLEEP… WORK…
This is a little insight into why no one his age wants to date him.