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Alondra Suarez, 24 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Alondra Suarez
Date: January 14, 2023
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I find it ridiculous that her ex has wasted so much time (and now money) on being concerned with what her ex is doing in her new relationship. I would hope this goes without saying but please don’t suggest anything illegal.
Simply ignore it. Don’t tell anyone. Pretend it didn’t happen.
You’re not even married to him. Divorce him and get a life.
Love isn't spiritual, magical, or foretelling. It's a marvel of evolution to promote propagation of the species, and rather then being ruled by the alignment of planets- it's ruled by epinephrine, serotonin, dopamine, and a few others. These are also what make drugs feel good. Love is important in a relationship, but because it's effectively making a decision while your brain is on drugs… well it's not the most important thing to determine compatibility, people can still be good people and not be good together. In general, after 30 days most of the physical side of addiction (to drugs/love/etc.) is weaned and you can think more clearly.
My boyfriend has a tendency to revert back to his “old ways” even after we JUST had a conversation about not doing it anymore.
His “old ways” are who he is at his core. People can change, but change is nude and requires a lot of conscious effort- most importantly the person changing has to effectively “buy in” that the change is in their best interest, even when things are tough. People often don't change without stimulus inspiring them to change, and the stimulus that inspired the change has to be more motivating then the original behavior.
The minute you start talking about “everything is so great, except for these very big incompatibilities we can't move past that are tanking our overall feelings about the relationship” you know you're in trouble.
If you have concerns, and he chooses to sort of self attack himself in a global way (i.e. everything I do is wrong, “I'm the bad guy”)- that's immature. I don't think you hanging up on an unproductive conversation is immature. In some ways, it's good that you both recognize this isn't going great and created space mutually. You're probably both at your “when” moment.
An apology without change is actually meaningless. He honestly doesn't sound like he wants to change, and dating someone who needs to change for you to be happy- well you're looking at a relationship that isn't a good match and hoping to change enough things to make it so. When he apologizes, it sounds more like he's saying “I'm sorry you're unhappy” then “I'm sorry I made you unhappy and I'll try to improve on these behaviors I can appreciate are not helpful to me, or in general.”
Your family and friends are clearly reacting to something- is it that they sense you're more frustrated in this relationship then others, or are they actually observing the bf's behavior they don't like? I wouldn't focus exclusively on other people's opinions, but they might've seen some things or had concerns you haven't fully realized quite yet, and they might not share those until you're extricated.
You are both taking some space right now- do nothing for a bit, enjoy doing nothing and see if the lack of his presence makes you happier. It takes time to get love drugs out of your system, but I bet the longer you two are taking space the more those will wear off, and the more ability you'll have to get your head and heart back to their respective locations to make a rational decision about what's best for you.
She only got in touch because her current relationship is on its arse
I’m 76” tall. I wrestled 195 in HS and was absolutely jacked working out 6 hours a day on 3% body fat.
Then I ate what I wanted and stopped exercising in college and hit 290 for a few years.
Then I cut down to 200 after I rewired an eating boredom vice, and go through spurts of gym though I stay 200 now.
Could it be stretch marks? My back ones are.
Yeah, victims can rarely see it. Please look up mental and emotional abuse, as well as grooming. I guarentee that he targeted you because you are young and naive enough to put up with his temper tantrums, while older and more mature women wouldn't. Again, he is causing you panic attacks with his behaviour and not attempting to get better or change. You shouldn't have to deal with that.
They message occasionally, yes.
Don't react, that's what he wants. I'm petty enough not to give him the satisfaction. I would take my shit and leave, no contact
…wait out the two weeks.
Your wife wants you to accept a grounding from her mother.
You need to ascertain if she has destroyed or sold it.
So… the adoption thing is off the table because a friend who was adopted had their adopted parents abandon them, and that has precisely what to do with how you two wouldn’t? Y’all, there’s plenty of children out there in the system that need adoptive parents. Do that. But only after you both are mature enough for that. Your mother’s story about other couples doesn’t really make a lot of sense.
You are right my tone did change. Thank you for keeping it real. This is what I need to hear
You are looking at your future with him. If you become a wife, then he will ask you to pick his poop up. Or maybe your unborn kid. Your boyfriend is over 40s. Totally zero disciple for your kid.
Think twice before you say you do and you are ready for picking up poops for rest of your life.
Any recommendations?
Maybe hes recording u?
Nah. She's coming off a tiring shift, has not slept for 24 hours.
Nothing more can be said to justify him insisting on (a) having a dinner that very evening (b) her Driving in that state!!!
The kind of person who'd be professing deep love and talking about your future children at only eight months into a relationship is also the kind of person who loses interest quickly. Impulsive people tend to throw themselves into situations then those same impulse control issues cause them to bore easily and retreat fast. But you can't really know until he's living locally. The person to worry about here is your sibling who's apparently going to have this guy living with them. That's going to get very awkward if this relationship doesn't work out.
You have your head so incredibly far up your ass that youre more worried about your own happiness than hers, you're not giving her any reassurance. Put yourself in HER shoes. She has a right to not trust you, and that doesn't mean she has “trust issues”. You gave her a reason NOT to trust you. You sound like a shit boyfriend from the comments ive seen you reply too. I genuinely hope she sees this post and see that she deserves way better than you.
I think I might do that. But I don’t want to use my perception of our relationship status as an excuse. I knew I probably shouldn’t have done it before I started flirting with this girl and before I walked up her apartment steps. Because I wouldn’t want her to do the same? And I knew it would hurt her. Lack of judgement and selfishness I guess.
I think this a “smart” answer, but I feel like acting strategically and not honestly would just make me feel more like a liar and a deceiver.
So you had a crush on her when you were nearly 40 and she was 25? But she's “so mature”. Right.
You say he will never get violent but hitting things often precedes violence towards a partner.
You don’t get along. He’s trying to intimidate you into doing his laundry. How evenly split are the rest of your chores?
Part time parenthood? What, so the mom gets to be the full time parent and OP just shows up when he feels like it? Or be a deadbeat and abandon the kid? Yeah, I don’t think so.
Don’t want a kid? Don’t get someone pregnant. This was a completely preventable situation.
Honestly addiction issues and tons of trauma alone is a dealbreaker for me. I do my best to help others but thats not allowed to exist in my household. I need a space to develop myself. Not help my bfs ex.
If someone requested me to do this, I would play along with it to take the cat and the contact the original owner, because I wouldn't trust someone who would do this to not harm the cat
So… he was given a number, said okay, talked for weeks, got nudes and then decided it was going too far? And then to rub salt in the wound… that response?
That is definitely emotionally cheating.
He didn't get asked out… he had long conversations and didn't tell you about them or tell you all about them. There's a reason he wasn't open and honest about them from the first moment and it's because he knows what he did was wrong.
You feel betrayed because what he did was wrong.
Any path forward starts with him admitting he was wrong and that his response to you was wrong.
Can’t shake this whirlwind of thoughts in my head.
I looked the condoms on-line, it says that its a 3 pack, there’s only two in the drawer.
There is no lesson to learn and you're speaking opinion, not facts. You don't like something. Congrats. You have a preference. I don't like potatoes. Does that mean I can shame people for eating french fries? No, it does not.
Voyeurism may be uncommon for women, but that doesn't give anyone permission to shame people for what they enjoy. The only problem exhibitionist have is when they force themselves on the unwilling.
Yes.