I’m 36f, my husband is 38m and we’ve been married for nine years, jointly for three before that.
The mother lives near us and recently opened up her home to a young female (“Julia”, 27f) in the girl church who lost the girl house in a house fireplace. She’s staying with her whilst her new house has been built. It works out nicely, since Julia works part time from home and my mom lately had a surgery that limitations her mobility, Julia is able to help my mom out along with certain things my husband and I have been doing when we weren’t at the job (grocery shopping, taking her to doctors, etc). One of the things Julia has been helping my friend out with is consuming my kids to the bus remain in the morning. (The biggest issue was that my mom can not go up or down stairs, and our house is 3 floors). I leave meant for work at 6AM, my husband usually leaves at 7: 00 and our sons get up at 7: 15. They are both old enough to perform most things on their own, they just need someone to make sure they get out the door by 8: 10.
I recently found out that Julia and my mother have been coming over early (at 6: 30) therefore my husband and Julia can work out together. I was just a little annoyed that my husband did not say anything to me but he says it wasn’t a big deal, they both do hitt, it did’t even strike him as something important enough to mention to me.
This evening when I came home I actually went into our bedroom and am SWORE I smelled the girl perfume (she wears a distinct perfume, it’s like cashew and jasmine) in our area, ESPECIALLY near our bed and window. I requested my husband about it, and he got really annoyed. He was just like, what are you implying? That will I’m bringing her into the bedroom? And he asked me personally why I had ‘made my mind up’ that he was up to something, and that even though I didn’t outright accuse him of anything my questions ‘implied’ something, and it didn’t matter what he did or said, my mind was made up that he would definitely cheat.
I was kind of taken aback by his response? It seemed pretty strong. But he says I was ‘passive aggressive’ with my queries and that I knew the things i was implying.
edit Since so many of you are so sure I did, in fact , accuse him… Here’s the exact wording of the question I asked your pet that sent him away from so much:
”Hey the bed room smells like Julia’s perfume, has been she in here? ”
Instead of answering me indeed, or no, or I don’t know… He flipped out on myself. So yes, I’m concerned by that.
edit 2, copied from a opinion that seems relevant: When I asked about the particular perfume I really was not thinking about him cheating. I desired to know the reason for her in there-did I forget something for my kids, was the dog acting up, did we all loose something? His reaction made me suspicious although.
He says he didn’t show me about them working out because he believed I’d feel “left out”.
submitted by /u/ThrowRAeliza
[link] [comments]