I’m just need to write this, I think, I don’t know. I used to have a therapist I could text, but our new one is on vacation this week and I don’t feel comfortable messages her yet. I’m remorseful if this is nonsensical.
We have been discussing surrogacy and adoption because I’ve usually told him I do not want to carry, and apparently he has spend these last three months we have been discussing this trying to get me pregnant. I keep mine in a daily supplement am/pm container that I at all times take the moment I stand up in the morning at 730am. I simply switched my birth control in November to a smaller version that I’m not all to familiar with. And he has been changing them out with folic acid. So on top of this, I have also been taking a double dose of folic acid solution that comes in my women’s daily.
I was out today and came home early today and brought your pet this wrap that we used to get in college, it was an additional 30 min drive outdoors my normal fcking commute, but we’d had an point earlier this week about how I actually felt he might have transformed his opinion on children and I wanted to do something nice for us. And I got home and put them on the table and he just burst out crying and moping and spilt it all. Almost everything.
I don’t know what to say or even do, I pretty much said nothing too him, and walked away and I have already been sitting in out visitor room for the last 4hrs just sitting looking at the fcking wall. I don’t know what to state, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared I am pregnant. I am scared where I am. Really dont even know how to tell my buddies or family. I don’t understand if this should be a legal matter. I’m pretty sure it is (in Canada)where I am from. Really dont know how to face him after i leave this room.
I genuinely debated crawling out the window yet I don’t know where to go. This individual knocked for a while but then ceased. I barely know how to explain how I feel, I’m simply shaken.
I feel unquestionably disgusting. I feel violated.
Edit: I just want to thank everybody. You kindness, is really, assisting because the situation just feels so surreal. And I know I should but I’m nevertheless not sure how to tell anybody about this. He left the home, I don’t know where, plus I’m really unclear regarding whether this is SA delete word but I don’t want him to come back, and I really desire I was clear on that will so maybe I could possess a reason to change the hair or something, but I don’t know if that’s permitted. I’ve just deadbolted this for now. I don’t know when that’s allowed in the ‘marital home’ either. I’m not really sure if I have a program other than that, I don’t think I could stay with him. It may not legitimately be SA but it feels like it. Pregnancy is total horror to me, and I don’t think the depth of this situation has really resolved in yet, I’m nevertheless in shock. I’ll try to update again when I may because this is honestly helping to straighten my thoughts a great deal.
Edit2: I think I will be visiting the police tomorrow. I will most likely take this down. I don’t understand how the law work around publishing this publically. but I understand that he has Reddit, though I don’t think he’s on this one. I just wanted to say thanks to the people who are reaching out again, My spouse and i someone message me for yourself after speaking to a friend in the RCMP with more information. Dont really know how to that you all, yet I’m going to try to rest now. Thank you again,
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