So , a week has past since my original post.
I (38M) wasn' t sure about posting an update several people asked so right here I am. Again, sorry intended for my bad english.
Weekend I contacted an old buddy of mine. He is a divorce attorney and I booked a scheduled appointment for Tuesday to ask for help and advice. I asked my employer for a week off, briefly explaining the situation, and he agreed.
I spent Sunday out with Mike. We took a vacation to a lake nearby, used a ball and spent some quality time together. Many people in the comments of the primary post suggested that mine and my wife (35F) ' s behavior and that he may misunderstand how a loving few should be, so I decided to talk to him. I asked him few questions. Among these types of was " What do you believe love is? ".
His answer comforted plus saddened me at the same time: " Love is what you and mother feel for me and what grand daddy and grandma feel for each other. ". I think this particular answer hurt me over if I was stabbed. Fortunately that he knows what a relationship is. The sad thing is that he doesn' t think me and Andrea love each other.
I tried not looking sad or worried in front of him yet inside I was a mess. We all went back to my mother' s home and my mother took care of him for the rest of the day.
Monday I basically did nothing. I bawled my eyes in bed and considered what I should do. My mom gave me some space and took care of Mike within my stead. She brought him to school, picked your pet up and taught your pet how to cook an omelette and how to play Scala 40.
Andrea called and texted a couple of time. She wanted to talk to Mike and inquired when we would come home yet I didn' t answer.
Tuesday I brought Mike to school and went to the appointment with the attorney. I asked him couple of questions about divorce method, asked how things end up in most cases ( apparently I used to be pessimistic in my original publish. ) and asked for advices in general. I spent the rest of the day preparing what to tell Andrea.
Wednesday was the day time. I left Mike with my mother ( Andrea' s parents came to go to too and stayed for dinner, so I' m certain Mike had fun. ).
We went home and waited for Andrea to come back from work. When she arrived, I asked her in order to sit down and to not interrupt me for the next few minutes. I tried to stick to the speech I had prepared because We knew I would have not been able to say everything I wanted to express.
I told her how I seemed she didn' t adore me anymore, how I seemed for her I was more of the nuisance than the man the lady loved.
I talked about her habit of consuming Mike out and disabling her phone, basically disappearing for hours. She tried to say again that it wasn' big t a problem but I ended her and told her that it was a huge problem: yes, in case something happened to Paul, she could call me but what would have occurred if something happened with her or to the both of them? I asked her in case she truly believed that the 10 years old would have been able to stay calm and call me if they had a car crash and she was injured? They would have been in danger and I wouldn' t have known exactly where they were.
I mentioned couple of more things, then had taken out the divorce papers. She started crying plus tried to convince me that we could fix our relationship. It was a tough moment. We reminded her that that wasn' t the first time My spouse and i pointed out our problems and that I had been trying to fix all of them for 10 years, while the girl kept insisting everything was fine. I told her to consider her parents' relationship also it was impossible to not have got realized we weren' t like them, a caring couple. I told her I am certain she always knew we had problems and simply didn' big t care enough to try and resolve them. I told her that will what happened on our anniversary was your last straw. I had invested weeks recreating our first date and when she saw the result she wasn' big t impressed or even curios, she was annoyed and irritated.
I told her that before that incident, I would have agreed to try couple therapy but that now I think couple therapy is for people who desires to fix things and she obviously never wanted to do it and I have stopped wanting to.
I told her I wanted 50/50 custody of Mike and she decided. She asked me to wait for a couple of weeks before speaking with Mike about our divorce ( until after his birthday) and I told her which i was ok with waiting but that Mike already understood we had problems and that he or she understood the situation more than she thought.
It' s already been 3 days since and, while inside I' mirielle now in a weird condition where I know I should become a mess inside but instead I am enjoying a short period of peace and peace of mind.
Friday Paul and I have gone back home and I spent most of the week with him, while Andrea is currently staying at her mothers and fathers for the weekend. For the next few weeks she will sleep within our guest room, while she search for somewhere else to stay.
I wish to thank everyone of a person for reading and providing me advice, both her and in the original post. Live! long and prosper, my friends.
TLDR: I confronted my spouse. We decided to divorce. Me personally and Mike are back home.
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